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grammaboodawg
Elvenhome
Apr 26 2017, 4:58am
Post #1 of 9
(2401 views)
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**Founders Day Game: Six Subject Line Challenge
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weaver created this TORn-classic game years ago, and we're going to have fun with it today.
Below are six subject lines randomly selected from the Discussion Boards.
Here's the challenge: Use these subject lines in a creative way as part of a joke, a mini-short story, a drabble, parody, limerick or whatever you feel inspired to do. Use one, some or all of the subject lines and let your muse run free!
Ready? Your choices are:
1. the bird's totally safe
2. Everybody in Middle-earth is "strange"
3. Wait--"maggoty bread"?
4. He's only 'mostly' dead
5. Was that sarcasm?
6. A dragon is never late.
We have been there and back again.
TIME Google Calendar
6th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observations List - November 28, 2013
4th draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observations List - May 15, 2014
5th draft of TH:BotFA Geeky Observations List - January 30, 2015
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists for LotR and The Hobbit
(This post was edited by grammaboodawg on Apr 26 2017, 5:02am)
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grammaboodawg
Elvenhome
Apr 27 2017, 4:23am
Post #2 of 9
(2331 views)
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Six Lines... leads to six whines! *shakes head*
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These are always the strangest constructs... but so much fun to play with. Here's a very scary dive into the deep end...
A dragon is never late, so when Bilbo sat on the edge of the huge, dark cavern waiting for Smaug to appear, he grew quite twitchy.
Balin came over and sat next to his friend.
"So... where do you think the dragon is now?" Bilbo whispered.
"I hate to guess. Maybe he's waiting until we move out into the chamber, then he'll jump. I miss getting news from the ravens."
"The bird's totally safe! It's probably back to cracking snails and has completely forgotten about us."
"Was that sarcasm?" Balin looked sideways at Bilbo. "The ravens are our friends. You're being very strange."
"Everybody in Middle-earth is strange! Even the birds and the beasts are strange! All I know is that I miss my chair and I'm very hungry. All I found in my pack is some old maggoty bread."
"Wait... maggoty bread!?" Bombur moved in fast. "You have some bread?" Bilbo gazed at the dwarf with sympathy.
"Bombur, you don't want it. It could kill you!"
Balin chuckled, "Bombur is always hungry. Even now, he's only mostly dead from starvation."
1. the bird's totally safe
2. Everybody in Middle-earth is "strange"
3. Wait--"maggoty bread"?
4. He's only 'mostly' dead
5. Was that sarcasm?
6. A dragon is never late.
We have been there and back again.
TIME Google Calendar
6th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observations List - November 28, 2013
4th draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observations List - May 15, 2014
5th draft of TH:BotFA Geeky Observations List - January 30, 2015
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists for LotR and The Hobbit
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noWizardme
Gondolin
Apr 27 2017, 10:38am
Post #3 of 9
(2336 views)
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There is a coffee shop on a strange plane, in which ‘retired’ Middle-earth characters sometimes hang out. Some, like Bert The Troll have made a new life for themselves – there’s Bert now, complete with beard and man-bun, working behind the counter in his new job as Barista. Others still harbour resentments and grudges about their time in the story: like Smaug over there, grumpily catching up with the latest events on a palantir in the corner.
‘ ‘Ere you go, guv,’ said Bert. He put an artisan coffee carefully down on Samug’s table. It was a splendid piece of work, the froth artistically arranged into an Eye, and the cup labelled “I ham Fire, I yam Deff”, in Bert’s best handwriting. But Smaug was too intent on the palantir scene to even look round at his drink.
‘Anyfink good on the telly?’ said Bert conversationally, after a while.
Still intent on the scene in the palantir, Smag just muttered.
‘Wots that? Oh, yeah, sure guv!’ said Bert, looking back at the food display. ‘Wait--"maggoty bread"? Nah, sorry, we’re right out.’
‘I said “mein Gott, he bred” you fool,’ snapped Smaug, gesturing with a claw at the palantir. ‘That is definitely another, younger Baggins! That Bilbo's been living high and founding a dynasty on MY loot, I don’t doubt. The unfairness of it all!’
‘Ah, you don’t wanna fret about that, guv,’ said Bert reasonably. ‘Why dontcha change the channel? The other one’s got battles, and a right tasty bird, that Eowyn. Wouldn’t mind eatin’ her, I’ll tell you – haw, haw, haw!’
‘You have a strange taste in both entertainment and people, but very well.’ Everyone in Middle-earth was 'strange' after all, Smaug reflected, resentfully. He waved a claw and changed the channel. In the palantir, armies massed for the Battle of the Pelennor Fields. The Rohirrim charged, and the Witch King arrived. Theoden fell, and the Nazgul threatened to tear someone's flesh. Was that sarcasm? Bert wondered. A simple fellow, his thoughts were sometimes troubled by odd philological intrusions. But then Bert was struck by another thought. At two thoughts in one minute, he was really becoming quite intellectual!
‘ ‘S’funny, I thought ‘e was dead!’ commented Bert, waving a massive paw at the Nazgul
‘He’s only “mostly dead”. And I suppose that’s that ‘bird’ your’re so interested in?’
‘Yeah! Oooh good – she’s gonna get squished!’
Smaug stirred in disgust. ‘You have failed to understand even now, my slow-witted friend, that the whole story is what I believe you would call a ‘total stitch-up’. The ‘bird’s’ totally safe – I do believe our good Professor has taken quite a liking to her.’
Still gloomily intent on the palantir, Smaug wondered bitterly whether being a comic cockney music-hall turn was, after all, any less dignified than being one of the Professor’s ‘low philological jests’. At least Bert seemed satisfied with his lot. Smaug reached for his coffee and took a mighty swig, only to spit it out, enraged.
‘You complete idiot! I ordered one of these drinks with a dead unicorn in it! Can’t you ever get anything into your thick head? How many times have I told you - A dragon is never latte?’
~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm
(This post was edited by noWizardme on Apr 27 2017, 10:52am)
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Elarie
Hithlum
Apr 28 2017, 12:30pm
Post #5 of 9
(2285 views)
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You just made my morning. 
__________________
Gold is the strife of kinsmen,
and fire of the flood-tide,
and the path of the serpent.
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noWizardme
Gondolin
Apr 28 2017, 12:46pm
Post #6 of 9
(2284 views)
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I was just trying to figure out what they'd call a "skinny white Americano" at Starberts.
Fair, Wand-slim Dunadain, maybe....
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Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm
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Altaira
Superuser
Apr 29 2017, 10:14pm
Post #8 of 9
(2254 views)
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Just the mental image of Smaug in a coffee shop was enough to make me laugh. The great dialogue was icing on the cake ( or whipped topping on the latte, if you will).
Nicely done.
Koru: Maori symbol representing a fern frond as it opens. The koru reaches towards the light, striving for perfection, encouraging new, positive beginnings.
"Life can't be all work and no TORn" -- jflower
"I take a moment to fervently hope that the camaradarie and just plain old fun I found at TORn will never end" -- LOTR_nutcase
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noWizardme
Gondolin
Apr 30 2017, 7:17am
Post #9 of 9
(2232 views)
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Thanks all *rises to bow and bumps head in 'artisan' artexed ceiling* //
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~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm
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