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Roheryn
Dor-Lomin
Feb 7 2013, 9:03am
Post #1 of 54
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Enough of the silliness -- time for something a bit more serious.
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A pants thread! If we've done this already, I missed it. Thanks, Arandiel, for the nudge. 
Bilbo: “There was the city of Dale, its pants stretched far and wide, full of the bounties of vine and vale, crease-full and ponderous. For these pants lay before the doors of the greatest wardrobe in Middle-earth: Erebor. Stronghold of Thror, King under-Pants, mightiest of the dwarf lords.”
Balin: “You forget: the front zipper is sealed. There is no way into the pants.”
Balin: “I wouldn’t bother, laddie. Pants are named for the great deeds they do in bed.”
Thorin: “Our underwear is no concern of elves.”
Gandalf: “For goodness sake, Thorin, show him your pants!”
Thorin: “They are the legacy of my people; they are mine to protect, as are their secrets.”
Elrond: “So this is your purpose, to enter the Pants.”
Thorin: “Master Baggins, I suggest you keep your pants up.”
*********
Your turns!
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little mouse
Ossiriand
Feb 7 2013, 9:24am
Post #2 of 54
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His armor rent wielding nothing but an oaken pants as a shield
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jtarkey
Nargothrond
Feb 7 2013, 10:26am
Post #3 of 54
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"What have I got in my pocket....
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PSYCH! I'm not wearing pants"
"You're love of the halflings leaf has clearly slowed your mind"
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peace1993
Nevrast
Feb 7 2013, 11:04am
Post #4 of 54
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Perhaps it is because he has a nice pair of pants.
Sam: Trust a Brandybuck and a Took.
Merry: What? That was just a detour, a shortcut.
Sam: Shortcut to what?
Pippin: Mushrooms!
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Oin's parasite
Ossiriand
Feb 7 2013, 12:08pm
Post #5 of 54
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"Lay down your pants! Or we rip his off!"
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"I've got parasites as big as my arm!"
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jtarkey
Nargothrond
Feb 7 2013, 12:12pm
Post #6 of 54
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Here's another...
"Did you know that your great-great-great uncle Bullroarer Took was so large he could wear a size 30? Well he could!"
"You're love of the halflings leaf has clearly slowed your mind"
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Aranaes
Ossiriand
Feb 7 2013, 12:15pm
Post #7 of 54
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.....had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by removing the King's pants.
'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'
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Kirly
Menegroth
Feb 7 2013, 12:19pm
Post #8 of 54
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Fili: Kili! Give me your pants! //
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My avatar photo is Lake Tekapo in New Zealand's South Island. Taken by me in 2004 on a Red Carpet Tours LOTR Movie Location Tour. 'Twas the Vacation of a Lifetime!
pictures taken while on the tour are here:
https://picasaweb.google.com/Kirly7/LOTRNewZealandTour#
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Aranaes
Ossiriand
Feb 7 2013, 12:23pm
Post #9 of 54
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"These were forged in Gondolin, by the High Elves of the First Age. You could not wish for finer pants"//
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'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'
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peace1993
Nevrast
Feb 7 2013, 12:52pm
Post #10 of 54
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Bilbo: “No, no, wait, wait, stop! Stop! We have to turn around.”
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Gandalf: “What on earth is the matter?”
Bilbo: “I forgot my pants.”
Bofur: “Here! Use this.”
Thorin: "Move on!"
Sam: Trust a Brandybuck and a Took.
Merry: What? That was just a detour, a shortcut.
Sam: Shortcut to what?
Pippin: Mushrooms!
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BoromirOfWinterfell
Nargothrond
Feb 7 2013, 2:05pm
Post #11 of 54
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I will take each and everyone one of these shorts over the mightiest trousers. Durability, 100 percent cotton and enough room. I can ask no more than that.
Þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg - that has passed, so may this.
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Aranaes
Ossiriand
Feb 7 2013, 2:28pm
Post #12 of 54
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Strange for orcs to come so close to our pants. Something or someone has drawn them near. //
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'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'
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Aranaes
Ossiriand
Feb 7 2013, 2:34pm
Post #13 of 54
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Goblin King: Send word to the pale orc, tell him I have found his pants, they were lodged in my crevice! //
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'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'
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Aranaes
Ossiriand
Feb 7 2013, 2:40pm
Post #14 of 54
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Last one from me - Azog: Do you smell it? The scent of panties. I remember your father reeked pants, Thorin son of Thrain //
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'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'
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stoutfiles
Nargothrond
Feb 7 2013, 2:56pm
Post #15 of 54
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Aragorn: “If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword."
Legolas: "And you have my bow."
Gimli: "And MY PANTS!”
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Brethil
Gondolin
Feb 7 2013, 3:16pm
Post #16 of 54
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"Lindir, be a good Figwit and lay out my purple silk boxers. The ones with the sparkly white stars. So comfy for dinner. Oh, and while you are at it bring these Dwarves some Febreze and a lint roller."
...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.
(This post was edited by Brethil on Feb 7 2013, 3:17pm)
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Oin's parasite
Ossiriand
Feb 7 2013, 3:24pm
Post #17 of 54
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Bofur: "Pants! Giant pants!"
Thorin: "What in Durin's pants are going on?"
Gandalf: "You are being pantsed!"
Galadriel: "If ever you need my pants..."
Dwalin: Which way laddy? Is it down here? He said there would be pants, and lots of em'."
Balin: "Thrain, Thorins's father was driven mad by pants, taken prisoner or killed; we did not know. We were pantless..."
Bilbo: "Thrór's pants ruled with utter surety. Never doubting his pants would endure. For his pants laid secure in the hands of his son, and grandson."
Bilbo: " Ah Frodo...pants."
"I've got parasites as big as my arm!"
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Alassëa Eruvande
Doriath
Feb 7 2013, 3:28pm
Post #18 of 54
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In a hole in the pants there lived a hobbit.
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Not nasty, dirty, wet pants, filled with the ends of threads and an oozy smell, nor yet dry, bare, sandy pants: it was hobbit-pants, and that means comfort waistband.
I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong, strong, STRONG!
My armor is like tenfold shields! My teeth like swords! My claws, spears!
The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt! My wings, a hurricane! And my breath, death!
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Brethil
Gondolin
Feb 7 2013, 3:49pm
Post #19 of 54
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Bifur to gandalf: "Ky kur Em-panada!" (Ah, here we know, at last, Thorin's secret Dwarf-name: Spicy-bottom Meat Pocket.)
Gandalf "Yes Bifur. We appear to be one pair of pants short."
Dwalin: "He is late is all. He cannot run with his pants down. He was at a pantsing of our kin. He will come."
...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.
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xMb
Lindon
Feb 7 2013, 3:56pm
Post #20 of 54
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I don't know why but I can't stop laughing at this 
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Brethil
Gondolin
Feb 7 2013, 4:01pm
Post #21 of 54
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"Lost my pants twice. Think the elastic is gone. Didin't help that some woman with TORn written on her bodice keeps yanking them down."
...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.
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Aragalen the Green
Mithlond
Feb 7 2013, 4:01pm
Post #22 of 54
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Gandalf presents Bilbo with Pants
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Gandalf: "Here Bilbo, these are about your size"
Bilbo: "I can't take these"
Gandalf: "The pants are of Elvish make. They will glow blue when orcs or goblins are nearby"
Bilbo: " I've never worn pants in my life"
Gandalf: "And I hope you never have to. But if you do, true courage is not when to wear pants, but when to have a spare pair".
'"Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!" he said to himself, and it became a favourite saying of his later, and passed into a proverb.'
(This post was edited by Aragalen the Green on Feb 7 2013, 4:07pm)
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Eleniel
Dor-Lomin
Feb 7 2013, 4:54pm
Post #23 of 54
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"Bert and Tom went off to the barrel....
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William was having another drink. Then Bilbo plucked up courage and put his little hand in William's enormous pants."
"Choosing Trust over Doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened."
¯ Victoria Monfort
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Old Toby
Hithlum
Feb 7 2013, 5:31pm
Post #24 of 54
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"If we have worn these pants, do you not think others have worn them too? Eyes look East to the mountain - assessing, weighing. Do we stand back while others take what pants are rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back our pants? To Pants! To Pants!"
"Age is always advancing and I'm fairly sure it's up to no good." Harry Dresden (Jim Butcher)
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Aragalen the Green
Mithlond
Feb 7 2013, 5:42pm
Post #25 of 54
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These are Gundabad pants! They will outrun you! These are Rhosgobel trousers!...I'd like to see them try //
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'"Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!" he said to himself, and it became a favourite saying of his later, and passed into a proverb.'
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