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A limerick I just wrote while sitting in a MSSQL 2012 class...
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Forum Admin

Jun 20 2012, 5:47pm

Post #1 of 47 (1565 views)
A limerick I just wrote while sitting in a MSSQL 2012 class... Can't Post

There once was a DB named SQL
Its proponents claim there's no equal
Though I'm learning a bit, I just don't give a s***
I've more interest in the Lord of the Rings Prequal

Forum Admin

Jun 20 2012, 5:48pm

Post #2 of 47 (804 views)
Guess I need to fix my footer // [In reply to] Can't Post



Jun 21 2012, 10:26am

Post #3 of 47 (705 views)
Brilliant!! [In reply to] Can't Post

*still smiling BIG* That's sick and TRUE!

I know, I know... Footer's Red X of DOOOOMMMMMM!!!! *thunder roars*

I thought you were just hiding ;)


I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.

TORn's Observations Lists
Unused Scenes

Tampa Phil

Jun 21 2012, 2:18pm

Post #4 of 47 (758 views)
SQL is not a DB [In reply to] Can't Post

How can literary aficianados enjoy poetry which misrepresents RDBMS languages so gratuitously?

And don't get me started on "Prequal".


Forum Admin

Jun 21 2012, 2:23pm

Post #5 of 47 (755 views)
I would recommend you focus in on... [In reply to] Can't Post

the last half of line three. :-P

I am a windows server/active directory guy who is being forced to take a SQL admin class. I have no desire to become a DBA and as a networking guy if you ask me... SQL is a database.

I concede the second point you made... but prequal rhymes with SQL and thus served my purpose.

Tampa Phil

Jun 21 2012, 2:29pm

Post #6 of 47 (765 views)
I give you .... [In reply to] Can't Post

There was a TORn poster Nomad
Who's limericks were disappointingly bad
His fifth line replete, with too many beats
Made Tampa Phil ineffiably sad.

TP The Bard.

Tampa Phil

Jun 21 2012, 2:42pm

Post #7 of 47 (744 views)
Apparently [In reply to] Can't Post

My post count of 70 in 5 years averages out to 0.0 per day.

So this reply of mine doesn't actually exist, and is a figment of your imagination.

TP The Statistician.

Forum Admin

Jun 21 2012, 2:48pm

Post #8 of 47 (670 views)
Reminds me of a Douglas Adams quote [In reply to] Can't Post

Can't recite it verbatim but the gist was regarding the population of the universe and since life forms were scattered so incredibly thinly across it, the average population is considered to be zero and any being you think you may come across is to be assumed a figment of your demented imagination.

Tampa Phil

Jun 21 2012, 2:56pm

Post #9 of 47 (669 views)
Indeed [In reply to] Can't Post

From an entry in the guide titled "The Universe - Some Information To Help You Live In It", copied from the back of a breakfast cereal box.


Tampa Phil

Jun 21 2012, 3:02pm

Post #10 of 47 (676 views)
As you can see [In reply to] Can't Post

I'm trying to get my average post count up to 0.1 and join the ranks of the Living (on whom life is wasted**)


** Another HHG reference.

Forum Admin

Jun 21 2012, 5:20pm

Post #11 of 47 (716 views)
ok... ok... [In reply to] Can't Post

There once was a Philip from Tampa
My SQL Limerick gave him crampa
My meter I fixed, bad rhythms be nixed
So here Phil is Nomad's revampa


Jun 21 2012, 6:34pm

Post #12 of 47 (715 views)
*snert* [In reply to] Can't Post

There once were a Nomad and Phil
Who's metre was equally ill
They tried and they tried
and they hummed and they sighed
But the rhythm eludeth them still

Nothing personal of course Wink

Forum Admin

Jun 21 2012, 6:51pm

Post #13 of 47 (706 views)
Well now... [In reply to] Can't Post

As both a music Ed major AND a percussionist, I DO take that personally... I carefully counted out my rhythms on that last one and I'd say perhaps the problem lies with your interpretation of my limerickal form.

^ = downbeats

There ^once was a ^Philip from ^Tampa
My ^SQL Lime^rick gave him ^crampa
My ^meter I ^fixed, bad ^rhythms be ^nixed
So ^here Phil is ^Nomad's re^vampa

SQL to be read as 'Se-quel'

*leaves in a huff* (j/k)

Forum Admin / Moderator

Jun 21 2012, 7:03pm

Post #14 of 47 (708 views)
No, that's too soon. [In reply to] Can't Post

Why don't you leave in a minute and a huff? *rimshot*

There once was a TORN statistician
Who claimed that the rhythm was missin'
His rhyme now perfected
The robot rejected
What this statistician was dishin'



"Of all faces those of our familiares are the ones both most difficult to play fantastic tricks with, and most difficult really to see with fresh attention. They have become like the things which once attracted us by their glitter, or their colour, or their shape, and we laid hands on them, and then locked them in our hoard, acquired them, and acquiring ceased to look at them.
Creative fantasy, because it is mainly trying to do something else [make something new], may open your hoard and let all the locked things fly away like cage-birds. The gems all turn into flowers or flames, and you will be warned that all you had (or knew) was dangerous and potent, not really effectively chained, free and wild; no more yours than they were you."
-On Fairy Stories

Aunt Dora Baggins

Jun 21 2012, 7:09pm

Post #15 of 47 (669 views)
If that's still too soon [In reply to] Can't Post

you can take a taxi. (I love the Marx Brothers <3 )

"For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century."
"A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories

leleni at hotmail dot com

Forum Admin

Jun 21 2012, 7:10pm

Post #16 of 47 (665 views)
Bah! Robots build cars. // [In reply to] Can't Post



Jun 21 2012, 7:26pm

Post #17 of 47 (668 views)
Yes, I see what you're doing now... [In reply to] Can't Post

there's a caesura (//) after "fixed" which I suppose is implied by the comma (or breath mark).


Tampa Phil

Jun 21 2012, 7:57pm

Post #18 of 47 (667 views)
See that and raise you [In reply to] Can't Post

A robot from the Midwest
Considered his stanzas the best
But lacking in diction, his words were a fiction
And sorely failed the test


Forum Admin

Jun 21 2012, 8:07pm

Post #19 of 47 (664 views)
In the old days I would have just sterilized your imperfection by now. [In reply to] Can't Post

In these enlightened days I can accept your opinion and carry on in the knowledge that I am Nomad... I am perfect.

Tampa Phil

Jun 21 2012, 8:33pm

Post #20 of 47 (664 views)
Help, I'm Stuck In A Limerick Loop [In reply to] Can't Post

An itinerant poster TP
Who long hence these forums did flee
Now shows up not dead, in this limerick thread
Causing regulars to ponder "who he?"

Somebody hit CTRL-C.



Jun 21 2012, 8:35pm

Post #21 of 47 (641 views)
Perfect. [In reply to] Can't Post

Nobody beats the Silver one at anything to do with language.

Permanent address: Into the West

Forum Admin

Jun 21 2012, 8:37pm

Post #22 of 47 (640 views)
heh heh... [In reply to] Can't Post

I like the tag there even if it doesn't fit strict form. I found that once I get beyond the horsehead I get terrible reception and thus can go for months at a time without being able to logon to TOR.N

I wonder if the newbies even know how old this place it.


Jun 21 2012, 8:39pm

Post #23 of 47 (640 views)
Me like! (the other ones not so much) // [In reply to] Can't Post



Jun 21 2012, 9:18pm

Post #24 of 47 (662 views)
okay okay! [In reply to] Can't Post

I come here to give you some news
The possessive pronoun of "whose"
Is never elided
It's simply not needed
To do so gives this girl the blues.

The way we imagine our lives is the way we are going to go on living our lives.

- James Hillman, Healing Fiction

* * * * * * * * * *

NARF and member of Deplorable Cultus since 1967

(This post was edited by Annael on Jun 21 2012, 9:20pm)

Superuser / Moderator

Jun 21 2012, 9:20pm

Post #25 of 47 (664 views)
How is that imperfect footer working for you? >:) / [In reply to] Can't Post


Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.

Ataahua's stories

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