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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Nov 27 2010, 7:24pm
Post #1 of 39
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
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What was the real reason that Galadriel and Celeborn wanted no visitors in Lothlorien?
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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Darkstone
Elvenhome
Nov 27 2010, 9:46pm
Post #2 of 39
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It was the maid's millenium off so the forest was a mess. /
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******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair.
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today.
I wish he would just fly away.
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Gimli'sBox
Mithlond
Nov 27 2010, 10:47pm
Post #4 of 39
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They needed a lot of time to curl/straighten their hair.//
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Roast chicken?!
You're taller. Who? You. Then what? Then me! I've always been taller than you. Pippin, everyone knows you're the short one. I'm the tall one. Please Merry. Your what? Three foot six at the most. Whereas I'm pushing three seven. Three eight! Three foot eight! You did something.
It's Latin. Loosely translated, it means... we cheat.
"Strange treasures in this fair world appear, strange all, and new to me." That is a poem by Thomas Traherne and I have absolutely no idea what it's about. But, when I was small I was made to learn it by heart so I don't see why you shouldn't suffer too.
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Wraith Buster
Mithlond
Nov 27 2010, 10:54pm
Post #5 of 39
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They didn't want anyone to know they had bad moods too!//
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I do believe if our honorable friend continues to scrape the bottom of the barrel for objections he is in danger of getting splinters under his fingernails.
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Ethel Duath
Gondolin
Nov 27 2010, 11:09pm
Post #6 of 39
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The flet contractor left tire tracks all over Cerin Amroth//
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TheNazgul
Ossiriand
Nov 28 2010, 2:10am
Post #7 of 39
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The last time they had a visitor thier wedding got crashed//
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P.S wraith buster don't bust me i have hobbits to stab!!
Rest in peace Ronnie
(This post was edited by TheNazgul on Nov 28 2010, 2:11am)
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Gimli'sBox
Mithlond
Nov 28 2010, 4:09am
Post #8 of 39
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Roast chicken?!
You're taller. Who? You. Then what? Then me! I've always been taller than you. Pippin, everyone knows you're the short one. I'm the tall one. Please Merry. Your what? Three foot six at the most. Whereas I'm pushing three seven. Three eight! Three foot eight! You did something.
It's Latin. Loosely translated, it means... we cheat.
"Strange treasures in this fair world appear, strange all, and new to me." That is a poem by Thomas Traherne and I have absolutely no idea what it's about. But, when I was small I was made to learn it by heart so I don't see why you shouldn't suffer too.
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Eowyn of Penns Woods
Doriath
Nov 28 2010, 4:15am
Post #9 of 39
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Which foul dwimmerlaik are you? *smiles sweetly*
**********************************
NARF
NABOUF
Not a TORns*b!
Certified Curmudgeon
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TolkienOtaku
Ossiriand
Nov 28 2010, 6:25pm
Post #10 of 39
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Let's just say they needed a lot of alone time.
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Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?
So many are still waiting for their new beginning. Their birth by sleep. Even me, and even you.
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SirDennisC
Gondolin
Nov 28 2010, 11:06pm
Post #11 of 39
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one visitor who knows a hydroponic lamp when they see one and it's game over.
(This post was edited by SirDennisC on Nov 28 2010, 11:07pm)
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Wraith Buster
Mithlond
Nov 28 2010, 11:44pm
Post #12 of 39
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"I will kill you if you touch them!!!"
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P.S wraith buster don't bust me i have hobbits to stab!!
"You fool! No man can kill me. Die now!"
"I am no man!"
There's something strange and it don't look good! Who you gonna call? Wraith Buster!!
I do believe if our honorable friend continues to scrape the bottom of the barrel for objections he is in danger of getting splinters under his fingernails.
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sador
Gondolin
Nov 29 2010, 7:18am
Post #13 of 39
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Wikileaks journalists might uncover what really happened to Amroth. //
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"Welcome, and well met!" - Gloin.
The weekly discussion of The Lord of the Rings is back! Please join us in the Reading Room.
"Caras Galadhon is actually a fortress... I guess I always imagined it as more of a nice garden with lots of trees. But someone put some serious thought into defending that garden."
- Altaira.
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Disa
Lindon
Nov 29 2010, 7:49am
Post #14 of 39
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And they're holding him indefinitely. The LoTR group were in a hurry, so there was no threat of discovery there. Galadriel is also known as Goldie the Gun, the Leader of the Elvish Mob. Her main cohort and consort Lord Celeborn, aka The Leaf Hacker, are shacked up in the woods, surrounded by their most loyal gang members in a last ditch effort to prevent the Middle Earth Brotherhood of Teamsters lead by Saruon himself, from takin' over the joint. They're armed with the latest magical wards and booby traps ("That's what I said! Setting booty traps!") in the remotest part of Lothlórien. 
Dwarrows forever!
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.Ithilwen.
Ossiriand
Nov 29 2010, 3:43pm
Post #15 of 39
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They don't want the stalker fan paparazzi sneaking in and getting all the dirt on Galadriel's new match-maker reality show for Bravo... Her star alums being Aragorn and Arwen
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(This post was edited by .Ithilwen. on Nov 29 2010, 3:51pm)
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Eruonen
Gondolin
Nov 29 2010, 5:29pm
Post #16 of 39
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Lack of sewage....I am sure elves had little to no bio waste and they
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did not like such messes underfoot spoiling the
golden leaves and fouling their streams. It is hard to imagine Galadriel sitting on a chamber pot or over a hole in the ground....if she did...it probably was a perfumed passage...nothing foul out of her.
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TheGoblinKing
Nargothrond
Nov 29 2010, 7:53pm
Post #17 of 39
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The Elf men fear Strider for all Elvish women fall in love and not even Galadrial couldn't resist him and she was hoping Strider would come. It was Frodo who came so she turned evil for a second.
And also Mirkwood Elves have bad Gas and make the leaves fall off the Trees.
Also Boromir was known for Throwing parties and Spiked the water and Elves cannot hold there own againt's Gondor wine.
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Darkstone
Elvenhome
Nov 30 2010, 1:48am
Post #18 of 39
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Life insurance salesmen literally flocked to Lothlorien. /
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******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair.
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today.
I wish he would just fly away.
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jacf182
Registered User
Nov 30 2010, 8:56pm
Post #19 of 39
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They were avoiding at all costs
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Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga's agents to consider Lothlorien as a possible location for concerts.
Wielder of the Flame of Anor
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ABody
Registered User
Dec 1 2010, 2:08am
Post #20 of 39
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Their processing heavy water and plutonium
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Idril Celebrindal
Dor-Lomin
Dec 1 2010, 4:48pm
Post #21 of 39
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10,000 years' worth of old newspapers and takeout containers are piled up everywhere! //
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With caffeine, all things are possible.
The pity of Bilbo will screw up the fate of many.
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Idril Celebrindal
Dor-Lomin
Dec 1 2010, 4:49pm
Post #22 of 39
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Celeborn never got around to fixing that little problem with the plumbing .... //
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With caffeine, all things are possible.
The pity of Bilbo will screw up the fate of many.
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StarElf
Nargothrond
Dec 5 2010, 8:02pm
Post #24 of 39
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Lothlorien was really Middle Earth's Area 51. They were still hiding the spaceships and the bodies of dead aliens, along with all their fancy new Elvish technology, and disguising it to look like actual trees.
(This post was edited by StarElf on Dec 5 2010, 8:08pm)
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Darkstone
Elvenhome
Dec 6 2010, 12:23am
Post #25 of 39
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It was a big hassle gluing the ears on. /
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******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair.
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today.
I wish he would just fly away.
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Oh that's GREAT!!!!!!!//
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