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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
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Ataahua
Forum Admin / Moderator


Mar 31 2007, 7:40pm

Post #1 of 29 (1475 views)
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories Can't Post

So just how did Beorn gain the ability to shape-change into a bear?

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Penthe
Mithlond


Mar 31 2007, 8:56pm

Post #2 of 29 (1290 views)
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He ate too many chocolate Yogi Bears, and didn't start at the knees, please. [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Greenwood Hobbit
Doriath


Mar 31 2007, 9:20pm

Post #3 of 29 (1289 views)
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Too much coffee too late at night. [In reply to] Can't Post

 


greendragon
Sr. Staff


Mar 31 2007, 9:25pm

Post #4 of 29 (1282 views)
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method acting classes. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

'There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of my fridge...'


Elberbeth
Dor-Lomin


Mar 31 2007, 10:51pm

Post #5 of 29 (1292 views)
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He found a lamp, which gave him three wishes ... so what were the other two?/ [In reply to] Can't Post

 

"There are some things that it is better to begin than to refuse, even though the end may be dark."


Alnilam
Ossiriand


Mar 31 2007, 10:56pm

Post #6 of 29 (1296 views)
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He enrolled in Tera West's shapeshifting class. [In reply to] Can't Post

But he wasn't a very good student, so he ended up turning into the wrong animal.


Alnilam's Realm
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weaver
Gondolin

Apr 1 2007, 12:37am

Post #7 of 29 (1287 views)
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Transporter room malfunction... [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Weaver


Morwen
Nargothrond


Apr 1 2007, 12:44am

Post #8 of 29 (1278 views)
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Accidental blast of gamma radiation [In reply to] Can't Post

Well, it worked for the Hulk.

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I wish you could have been there
When she opened up the door
And looked me in the face
Like she never did before
I felt about as welcome
As a Wal-Mart Superstore--John Prine


Darkstone
Elvenhome


Apr 1 2007, 12:58am

Post #9 of 29 (1281 views)
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During a full moon on the wild lonely moors of 100 Acre Wood.... / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

I met a Balrog on the stair
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today.
I wish he would just fly away.


L. Ron Halfelven
Hithlum


Apr 1 2007, 1:46am

Post #10 of 29 (1271 views)
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He didn't gain the ability; he was Beorn with it./ [In reply to] Can't Post



dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


Apr 1 2007, 2:10am

Post #11 of 29 (1268 views)
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*bows to the Master* / [In reply to] Can't Post

 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Confusticate and bebother these dwarves!"


greendragon
Sr. Staff


Apr 1 2007, 3:36am

Post #12 of 29 (1278 views)
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He learnt it from Prof McGonagall... [In reply to] Can't Post

But he was an unregistered animagus, and only occasionally did 'Grizzly' hang out with Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs...

'There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of my fridge...'


Idril Celebrindal
Dor-Lomin


Apr 1 2007, 3:47am

Post #13 of 29 (1271 views)
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He ate too many Gummi bears! [In reply to] Can't Post

 

With caffeine, all things are possible.

The pity of Bilbo will screw up the fate of many.

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Penthe
Mithlond


Apr 1 2007, 4:17am

Post #14 of 29 (1273 views)
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I wish for sheep that make good servants, and to increase my tolerance of dwarves./ [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Aerlinn
Menegroth


Apr 1 2007, 5:25am

Post #15 of 29 (1270 views)
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He was bitten by Winnie the Pooh? / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

'I cannot read the furry letters,' said Frodo in a quavering voice.
'No,' said Gandalf, 'but I can.'

'One Ring to drool on them all, One Ring to heed them
One Ring to bring them all and remind them all to feed them
In the land of Kitchen where the litter lies.
'

Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail-lights heading for Passaic.
Oh and I can see Daniel waving hello
God it looks like Daniel, must be the quid pro quo
697.08


Aerlinn
Menegroth


Apr 1 2007, 5:54am

Post #16 of 29 (1293 views)
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It was a grisly process, and a little barbearic. [In reply to] Can't Post

His Uncle Walter, a Yogi (who enjoyed waltzing), told him about it, and though Beorn didn't like to panda to the older generation he knew when to koala spade a spade. He had a hunch it might be a Bad Idea, but he headed to Paddington Station. There he met the Major, who had a minor cold. "Cub cub," he said, when Beorn expressed his doubts, "Id could be w-urse. Just bewere of what happened to Ben, that gentle fellow, who baloo his brains out... made the place rather smokey. I say, that bald man who just left wasn't the fuzz, was he?" The Major, though a great fan of Mr. Bean, turned out to be his polar opposite, but it was a Kodiak moment when they shared a hug when it was all over. Beorn drew the line at snuggles, though, and went home before he was declared a missing ursine.

'I cannot read the furry letters,' said Frodo in a quavering voice.
'No,' said Gandalf, 'but I can.'

'One Ring to drool on them all, One Ring to heed them
One Ring to bring them all and remind them all to feed them
In the land of Kitchen where the litter lies.
'

Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail-lights heading for Passaic.
Oh and I can see Daniel waving hello
God it looks like Daniel, must be the quid pro quo
697.08


(This post was edited by Aerlinn on Apr 1 2007, 5:56am)
Attachments: bwaybears1.jpg (10.4 KB)


Aerlinn
Menegroth


Apr 1 2007, 5:58am

Post #17 of 29 (1266 views)
Shortcut
He was actually a nudist, and misunderstood. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

'I cannot read the furry letters,' said Frodo in a quavering voice.
'No,' said Gandalf, 'but I can.'

'One Ring to drool on them all, One Ring to heed them
One Ring to bring them all and remind them all to feed them
In the land of Kitchen where the litter lies.
'

Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail-lights heading for Passaic.
Oh and I can see Daniel waving hello
God it looks like Daniel, must be the quid pro quo
697.08


Ataahua
Forum Admin / Moderator


Apr 1 2007, 7:21am

Post #18 of 29 (1262 views)
Shortcut
*snort* / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


hobbitlove
Mithlond


Apr 1 2007, 7:34am

Post #19 of 29 (1272 views)
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modding way, way, way up! Too good. Love it! [In reply to] Can't Post

 




Egleria! Iorhael!


hob
(former nick: "HobbitLoveR*M-e" among several others, briefly)


L. Ron Halfelven
Hithlum


Apr 1 2007, 11:47am

Post #20 of 29 (1259 views)
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He was at a science exhibition and got bitten by a radioactive bear./ [In reply to] Can't Post



grammaboodawg
Elvenhome


Apr 1 2007, 3:24pm

Post #21 of 29 (1262 views)
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He fell down the rabbit hole, and it all took off from there! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


sample sample
Trust him... The Hobbit is coming!

"Barney Snow was here." ~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."


TORn's Observations Lists


grammaboodawg
Elvenhome


Apr 1 2007, 3:26pm

Post #22 of 29 (1257 views)
Shortcut
You are what you think // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


sample sample
Trust him... The Hobbit is coming!

"Barney Snow was here." ~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."


TORn's Observations Lists


GaladrielTX
Dor-Lomin


Apr 1 2007, 4:05pm

Post #23 of 29 (1273 views)
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*snert* [In reply to] Can't Post

That's not a Care Bear, that's a WEREBEAR!

~~~~~~~~

I used to be GaladrielTX, but it's springtime and I'm shedding.



L. Ron Halfelven
Hithlum


Apr 1 2007, 6:28pm

Post #24 of 29 (1251 views)
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And vice-ursa./ [In reply to] Can't Post



Darkstone
Elvenhome


Apr 1 2007, 9:12pm

Post #25 of 29 (1245 views)
Shortcut
He was finally promoted from were-chihuahua. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

I met a Balrog on the stair
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today.
I wish he would just fly away.

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