Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories

Ataahua

Ataahua

Super Moderator
We know Gollum snuck away on the Stairs of Cirith Ungol to conspire with Shelob, but what else did he do while the Hobbits slept?

(Thanks to Gimli's Box for this week's conspiracy!)
 
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Was a rock star in the South. Apparently he heard there was a Guitar Center just around the corner from Shelob's lair. Like most people, he thought he could make it a quick trip. But, the Les Pauls kept his attention longer than what he expected and so by the time he realized it, the hour was very late. He wouldn't have left though if it hadn't been for the workers which kicked him out because it was closing time. This is what made him say "then we will be THE Gollum, playing my six string ten times a day! Playing the SG! Super star Gollum! First on iTunes!"
 
...who's mother was always against him, as he wore raggs and had no steady job.

So Smeagol visited her, told her he was guiding tourists for nearly three weeks already, and promised to come next time with a new (second-hand, but in good shape) vest and waistcoat, some money in his pocket - and a ring for her,
 
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