Complaint choir

I think John Denver might have approved of that!

Hey - we should do one for TORn - what would a Tolkien fan's "issues" be?
 
[laugh]

I especially liked the acronym rap part; didn't understand what most of those were, but there's plenty in this country to use in something like that!

What would a Tolkien fan complain about? Let's see: all the rugged Rangers are spoken for, not enough palantiri, can't find a decent shoe store in the Shire...
 
Is this a Wraith's knife,
In this, my fantasy?
Caradhras landslides
Are my escape from reality.
Sauron's one eye
Looks down from on high
And sees -- N.Z.

Gollum just killed a man,
Put his fingers 'round his throat
After he fell out of the boat.
Gollum's birthday's just begun,
But now the ring has made him gone astray.
Gollum -- O-o-o-o-o-o
In Mount Doom your gonna fry,
Unless The Hobbit is released this time tomorrow,
You'll be gone, you'll be gone --
Because scripting really matters.

Hugo, your time has come,
Put back on that silly wig
While Peter Jackson does a jig.
Goodbye to John Noble and Sir Ian Holm,
By now your just to old to make the show.
Bilbo -- O-o-o-o-o-o
It just can't be McAvoy,
Perhaps they'll will decide on Martin Freeman,
But we don't know -- we don't know,
Because scripting really matters.

I see the Shire full of Thorins's trusty dwarves
No more Liv, no more Liv -- we can do without Arwen!
McKellan will be Gandalf, Rhys-Davies' wants no part of Gimli!
O Guillermo, O Guillermo
O Guillermo, O Guillermo --
O Guillermo script the show!
But Bilbo's in Limbo, no one has cast him --
N'gila! please start designing clothes -- Sew some clothes!
N'gila! please start designing clothes -- Sew some clothes!
N'gila! please start designing clothes -- Sew some clothes!
Will you sew some clothes, please go design some clothes!
Oh let her sew - sew - sew - sew - sew - sew!
Otho 'n' Lobelia, Otho 'n' Lobelia, Otho 'n' Lobelia need some roles!
Morgoth Bauglir has a goblin put aside for me, for me, for me-e-e-e-e!

So you think I'd forget about Elves at Helms Deep,
Or Denethor's fiery mile run from his keep?
Oh Peter, can't do this to me Peter --
Edit it out, edit out of the film!

Scripting really matters,
Someone make Phillipa see --
Scripting really matters,
Scripting really matters to me...
I hope The Hobbit won't blow.

(G-O-N-G)
 
Scripting really matters! [laugh][heart]

Don't get me started. I could sing a whole opera on why faithful characterization is important!
 
Fantastic. I think I did a Bohemian Rhapsody parody once - I remember it being very difficult to write, so nice job.
 
Gabriola is an island north of here, and we have similar complaints.

I sent the link around to everyone in my choir and to my director, suggesting we need to do this too.
 
and Magrat did one - but I can't locate either. All hilarious, as is this one.

The "lasselanta" page seems to have gone missing from TORn.
 
Just looked through all the parodies I have saved on this computer, and that's not one of them - but I think some may have gone missing as I seem to have failed to transfer everything over from my old computer. Very annoying.
 
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