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Woodyend
Mithlond
May 30 2008, 1:16am
Post #1 of 15
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Jack Sparrow vs Aragorn
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Jack Sparrow: You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?
Aragorn: Behold! The sword of Elendil!
Jack Sparrow: What do you say to three shillings and we forget the name.
Aragorn: Legolas, fire a warning shot past the captain’s ear.
Jack Sparrow: I'm not sure I deserved that.
Aragorn: Are you frightened?
Jack Sparrow: Parleley, parlelellyleloooo, par le nee, partner, par... snip, parsley...
Aragorn: I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.
Jack Sparrow: I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
(And this is why Jack wins.)
Aragorn: You cheated.
Jack Sparrow: Pirate.
Jack Sparrow: : Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for.
May your beer be laid under an enchantment of surpassing excellence for seven years!
~~~~~~~~Gandalf~~~~~~~
Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!
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Ainu Laire
Dor-Lomin
May 30 2008, 8:00am
Post #2 of 15
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but I love Jack Sparrow too.
Parley, gentlemen?
(Though it would be interesting to see Aragorn trying to get an undead!Jack to follow his commands xD)
My LJ
My art site
NARF since age 8, when I refused to read the Hobbit because the cover looked boring and icky.
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Milady
Ossiriand
May 30 2008, 5:05pm
Post #3 of 15
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No more need be said.
I'll be leading the Reading Room discussion of The Two Towers: The Road to Isengard on the week of May 26--June 1. Be sure to stop by!
Has anyone ever wondered what would have happened if Smaug had ate Bilbo, and therefore the ring? It would be interesting to see Sauron send orcs to go diving for the Ring.
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SmeagoloftheStoors
Menegroth
May 30 2008, 11:28pm
Post #4 of 15
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But on land Aragorn has the advantage until Jack pulls a gun. On ship, Jack's better equiped and would win. In personality, Jacks funnier. But I feel that Aragorn is better suited to his function and Jack to his. By the way, what is Jack's function?
Eglario Valar!
It's me!
(This post was edited by SmeagoloftheStoors on May 30 2008, 11:37pm)
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Woodyend
Mithlond
May 30 2008, 11:36pm
Post #5 of 15
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His a pirate and darn good one.
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May your beer be laid under an enchantment of surpassing excellence for seven years!
~~~~~~~~Gandalf~~~~~~~
Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!
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Jazmine
Dor-Lomin
May 31 2008, 7:00pm
Post #6 of 15
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unless Jack got lucky! And luck does seem to favour Jack Sparrow! Though it would a totally wierd fight to watch. Aragorn all serious and focussed, and tipsy Jack prancing around looking bemused!
*Jazminatar the Brown*
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Dreamdeer
Doriath
Jun 2 2008, 2:04pm
Post #7 of 15
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I would give the first round to Jack. Aragorn would see a wobbly man, handicapped by brain-damage from exposure to the sun, and he would try to be merciful, striking only with the flat of his blade to try and restrain the rascal. Jack would take immediate advantage of this with some outrageous trick not in the rule books, and teach Aragorn a thing or to about the abilities of the disabled.
But then Aragorn does have his Strider side, not to mention a wry sense of humor of his own, and by the second round would prevail...temporarily. Ultimately Jack would escape (with new respect for Aragorn) and we'd have round #3.
In this Jack Sparrow would prevail, but barely. In the long run, the more creative warrior generally prevails, and Jack is creative par excellence. Aragorn is no slouch, capable of pulling up undead allies out of nowhere, but while he has his brilliant moments, Jack lives so far outside of the box that he forgot where he put it.
My website http://www.dreamdeer.grailmedia.com offers fanfic, and message-boards regarding intentional community or faerie exploration.
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Tyler
Menegroth
Jun 4 2008, 11:56am
Post #8 of 15
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This feels like something i posted a wile back.
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http://newboards.theonering.net/...;;page=unread#unread
And i say jack sparrow !
Home is behind, the world ahead... And there are many paths to tread. Through shadow, to the edge of night, until the stars are all alight... Mist and shadow, cloud and shade, all shall fade... all... shall... fade...
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Woodyend
Mithlond
Jun 4 2008, 9:31pm
Post #9 of 15
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I guess great minds think alike.
May your beer be laid under an enchantment of surpassing excellence for seven years!
~~~~~~~~Gandalf~~~~~~~
Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!
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Dagonet
Menegroth
Jun 18 2008, 5:55pm
Post #10 of 15
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I was gonna say "I know I've replied to this before!"
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And the simple fact that Aragorn is a far better fighter and... well he's got numenor blood in him... okay well I'm cheering for Aragorn but I think it'd be a tough match, now especially since Jack has come back from Davy Jones' locker...
GO ARAGORN!!! Told you I was cheering for him!
Dagonet,
Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shdows lie.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
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Finduilas101
Ossiriand
Jun 20 2008, 11:21pm
Post #11 of 15
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I think this is how it would go...
ROUND ONE: The opponents circle each other. Swords come out. Jack says, "Do you think this wise, man? Crossing blades with a pirate?" Unknown to Jack, Aragorn doesn't waste time chattering or boasting with his opponents. Anduril comes in and lops a bemused Jack's head right off. So ends round one.
ROUND TWO: Jack realizes now that Aragorn is not to be distracted by banter, and so they circle once more. Aragorn lunges, Jack parries and does a fancy-blade move in an attempt to disarm Aragorn. Aragorn prepares for this and blocks it, but seconds later he finds out that this was only a distraction and Jack has just pulled out his pistol and blown Aragorn's head off. So ends round two.
ROUND THREE: Aragorn sharpens his senses about 300X and comes at Jack with a roar of "Elendil!!!". Jack has no clue what he's talking about, but steps aside and attempts to shove Aragorn past him. Aragorn is too large and strong for him to do this, so Anduril comes in for the head-chopping-off again. Jack leaps back and parries. The two of them hack away at each other for a few minutes. Suddenly, Jack's flimsy sword breaks and before he can get his pistol out, Aragorn has just chopped off his head again.
So in conclusion? Jack might have a few tricks, but Aragorn would adapt and eventually win.
Saruman, Gandalf the Grey rides to Isenguard...NO LONGER SEEKING YOUR COUNCIL!!!
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Gondorian_Ranger
Ossiriand
Jul 17 2008, 2:41am
Post #12 of 15
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Nice dialogue. Aragon would win.
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Jack's wrist would snap after one powerful stroke from Anduril had fallen on his flimsy little rapier. Aragorn would then lop off the head of one of his enemies for something like the fifth time? There was that goblin in Moria, Lurtz, a warg rider and the Mouth of Sauron. Have I forgotten any? He seems to have an 'if in doubt, go for the head' kind of mentality going on there...
"The city of Osgiliath has been reclaimed, FOR GONDOR!"
(This post was edited by Gondorian_Ranger on Jul 17 2008, 2:42am)
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Lúthien Tinúviel
Nevrast
Jan 31 2009, 5:45pm
Post #13 of 15
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He'd have Legolas sneak up behind CJS and shoot him...then theres Will....He'd quarrel with Legolas saying he stole his good looking face!
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tolkiennerd
Menegroth
Aug 23 2010, 7:32pm
Post #14 of 15
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Jack has a gun Aragorn dosn't
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