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Avandel
Half-elven
Nov 23 2014, 8:55pm
Post #1 of 25
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Your BOFA survival starter pack + additional accessories
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So I found this BOFA survival pack on line, but alas, it can only be viewed as a starter kit:
While I think this makes a good beginning, personally I would suggest ENHANCING this basic
kit with select additions, depending on what your situation is.
To start with, the "marathoners" might want to consider:
Chocolate coffee beans, to help keep you alert so you don't miss a single second of films you have probably seen, like, over 500 times already (and if you are like me, never, ever, get tired of....  ).
For those in cold climates etc.:
Yah know, 'coz it really *bleep* to leave a theater at 3 in the morning and the car doesn't start, particularly if you can't even think straight re what you just saw.....
And for EVERYONE:
OK, maybe you don't need a stress ball this big, but something to keep you from squeezing your fancy I-phone or Galaxy so hard the case cracks.
Heirs of Durin fans may substitute:
On a handy thong - which during DOS I found useful to grip, and puts your hand right near your heart and face where it will probably be through BOFA anyway .
The paltry box of tissues provided in the starter kit just isn't going to cut it.
This is more like it.
Well, we've all had to deal with rude audiences  , but thanks to modern technology there's a solution :
Yep, Captain Kirk (and Thorin) don't put up with a lot of guff from the unwashed masses, and neither should you.
AFTERCARE:
What folks use for medicinal purposes is their business, I always say.
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with caring more about what happens to a bunch of fictional characters more so than what President Obama might have worn on a trip to China zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Anyway, if I need help with depression, denial, and delusion , I'd rather spend money on these guys:
*snuggle*.
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Eruvandi
Tol Eressea
Nov 23 2014, 10:04pm
Post #2 of 25
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BWAHAHAHA! This is hilarious, Avandel! Thanks for posting it!
I will definitely keep this list in mind when I go see BotFA. Especially the Star Trek phaser gun. (I'll only set it to stun, of course.)
"There's distraction buzzing in my head,
Saying in the shadows it's easier to stay.
But I've heard rumors, of true reality.
Whispers of a well-lit way.
When the world has fallen out from under me,
I'll be found in You, still standing.
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees,
When time and space are through.
I'll be found in You."
~Shadowfeet by Brooke Fraser
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Elarie
Grey Havens
Nov 23 2014, 11:00pm
Post #3 of 25
(2262 views)
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I've got my marathon tickets but I guess I'm going to need a bigger purse
__________________
Farewell hope,
and with hope
farewell fear.
John Milton
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dormouse
Half-elven
Nov 23 2014, 11:07pm
Post #4 of 25
(2261 views)
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Thank you - I'm sure a lot of us will be needing this....
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...in the days to come!
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Avandel
Half-elven
Nov 24 2014, 1:59am
Post #6 of 25
(2228 views)
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*Bows* - glad to be of service - and a few more....
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It occurred to me that in the U.S. at any rate, we have something of a tradition of steely-eyed, iron-jawed, males. Perhaps this is universal around the world?:
Why, we even have completely feminine women - superb role models and inspirations! - but you don't want to be on the receiving end of their CLEAR and PENETRATING gaze, which strips your silliness from you with the force of a blow torch...(I love you Judge Judy!)
So those doing early holiday shopping might want to gift the more MACHO of your BOFA party with appropriate headgear, e.g. nothing that would offend the parents of the short child sitting in back of your males at a theater, but something your heroic men can subtly pull down over their eyes at key heartbreaking *sob* BOFA scenes while looking badass and cool.
After all, these Middle Earth films (happily) are awash with testosterone and HAIR - there's even a kick-ass female - so appearances hafta be kept up.
You might also offer a selection of MACHISMO hankerchiefs "just in case":
For myself, I've also added gradient-tinted sunglasses, so I can visit a restroom etc. and not have people staring at me...
...*cough* tho if you are dressed like a dwarf or other for a line party 1) the Middle Earth folks will outnumber the costumeless and 2) all the Middle Earth folks will be in the same condition anyway. You will never be this universally UNDERSTOOD by complete strangers again. Ever.
And of course, be sure to have:
Finally, when it's all over, time for the home spa treatment:
This SEEMS like it's to get your face back into a presentable condition, which it kind of does in theory (unless the dog licks it off), but what's it's really designed to do is shock and awe the folks around you, so they will understand that you are feeling VERY poorly and will tiptoe around and leave you alone. Then you can sneak out and go see BOFA again.
(This post was edited by Avandel on Nov 24 2014, 2:04am)
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The Grey Elf
Grey Havens
Nov 24 2014, 2:17am
Post #7 of 25
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Haha! My personal kit will also include
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smelling salts and a teddy bear
"If not us, who? If not now, when?" HeforShe
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Kim
Valinor
Nov 24 2014, 3:36am
Post #8 of 25
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And for those of you who may need a little something stronger to settle your nerves:
Thanks Avandel! That reminds me, I believe I placed an order a while back for my pallet of tissues. Can you let me know when that's expected to arrive? And perhaps I should put in order for a puppy and a kitten for some snuggles.
Join us every weekend for The Hobbit Chapter of the Week discussions!
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Avandel
Half-elven
Nov 24 2014, 4:25am
Post #9 of 25
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I forgot about the smelling salts!
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I suppose I could have a companion throw a super size fountain drink over me at need. Tho on second thought, there should be warnings at least for the first night, that no-one drinks anything.
Because anyone disturbing rabid, glazed-eyed fandom during BOFA (especially the Thorin fans, who firmly believe in emulating their king) I feel are in real danger of being fed to some wargs.
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Avandel
Half-elven
Nov 24 2014, 4:55am
Post #10 of 25
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Maybe one of those binkies with sleeves?
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Well, the pallets of facial tissues got delayed because the big box stores got wind of BOFA and bought up entire box cars full, but supposedly shipments are back on track by November 30. Admittedly that is cutting it close, but if worse comes to worst suggest microfiber cleaning cloths or those cloths that can suck up 3 times their size in water.
Yes, I think my nerves will need quite a lot of settling. Preferably being settled with something garnished with tiny paper umbrellas and bits of fruit on sticks.
Dogs and kitties are the best because you can snuggle and with the kitties you can listen to them purr and dogs try to lick you, but since they won't let pets into a theater maybe I need to order a Thorin plushee or pillow.
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MomoftheShire
Rivendell
Nov 24 2014, 2:43pm
Post #12 of 25
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Don't know about the rest, but am definitely taking a WHOLE box of Kleenex with me! Anticipation and a bit of trepidation! Know I will cry from the opening credits, probably. Cried thru about 3/4s of ROTK! Hate it that I know how it ends, but wouldnt miss it for the world!
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Avandel
Half-elven
Nov 24 2014, 10:10pm
Post #13 of 25
(2155 views)
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First time I ever teared up over a trailer
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The first one....if only they hadn't used that song.
*Gloomily* well, yes, the end *sigh*. Tho I am sure, somewhere, out there, is an up-and-coming filmmaker ticking off boxes, thinking of how he/she would film these movies....tho I think they would be hard-pressed to find a cast this perfect, IMO.
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Dame Ioreth
Tol Eressea
Nov 24 2014, 11:47pm
Post #14 of 25
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You have the tissues, the chocolate and even the scotch. I think I will build a blanket fort so I may need to bring more blankets... Got my stuffed Pooh Bear...
Ice Cream - I hear Richard Armitage says Chocolate is the best so there's second dose of chocolate.
Oh yes, I almost forgot... Swim fins or a life ring for when we fling ourselves into the River of Denial once Certain Things That Shall Not Be Named Happen.
Where there's life there's hope, and need of vittles.
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
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Elciryamo
Rivendell
Nov 25 2014, 12:29am
Post #15 of 25
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Defibrillators come in travel size now, for my convenience :)
Also, in a pinch, those jumper cables will serve the same purpose,
Also, that stress ball is not big enough :D
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Nov 25 2014, 12:32am
Post #16 of 25
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That would be perfect! Can we wear pyjamas to the cinema?
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Nov 25 2014, 12:38am
Post #18 of 25
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Yes we do - and well-called, Magpie.
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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Ethel Duath
Half-elven
Nov 25 2014, 4:51am
Post #19 of 25
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I practically grew up in a blanket fort. I shall...(*Interstellar Spoiler Warning!*)
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help with the engineering. In exchange for the phaser.
(Which I could have used during the death scene of Interstellar, during which a family insisted on carrying on a non-stop normal voice conversation punctuated by the cries of their baby [poor thing!]).
(This post was edited by dernwyn on Nov 25 2014, 8:33pm)
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Eowyn of Penns Woods
Valinor
Nov 25 2014, 7:27pm
Post #22 of 25
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I think I'd stick with the classic...
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blue LED-enhanced knitting needles for dealing with any orcs in the audience! ;) My own Knit Lite needles are more of an aqua, but I've yet to take them to the theater, unlike some knitters.
**********************************
NABOUF
Not a TORns*b!
Certified Curmudgeon
Knitting Knerd
NARF: NWtS Chapter Member since June 17,2011
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dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Nov 25 2014, 8:33pm
Post #23 of 25
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
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