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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Aug 24 2014, 3:51pm
Post #26 of 41
(227 views)
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Okay, gramma; where's gramma? '' //
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“Uva uvam vivendo varia fit."
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Aug 24 2014, 3:55pm
Post #27 of 41
(233 views)
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with her deadly claws and her vast bloated bag, and she stank! Stank like the jock strap of Bombur after an hour and eleventy-one minutes of hand-ball.
Or when Mrs. Maggot cut the cheese, silently, while serving mushrooms. (Called by the Edain “A Sneaker”.)
You can call me “Brace”, or you can call me “BG”, but you dasn’t call me “Rem”!
“Uva uvam vivendo varia fit."
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Alassëa Eruvande
Valinor
Aug 24 2014, 4:12pm
Post #28 of 41
(224 views)
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I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong, strong, STRONG!
My armor is like tenfold shields! My teeth like swords! My claws, spears!
The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt! My wings, a hurricane! And my breath, death!
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dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Aug 24 2014, 4:19pm
Post #29 of 41
(224 views)
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Yeah, I knew that! 
Hubby went to the first two viewings of DoS with me. Whenever I'd come home after another, I'd walk in the door and say "Well, the dragon won again."
Always gave him a chuckle...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
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dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Aug 24 2014, 4:22pm
Post #30 of 41
(227 views)
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Oh, gosh, the imagery...you've definitely seen too many Krispy Kreme donuts and gotten sunburn at state fairs! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
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Alassëa Eruvande
Valinor
Aug 24 2014, 4:36pm
Post #32 of 41
(231 views)
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She had some skill with a blade,
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the kind of skill you get after years of honing it on the hearts of hapless movie goers like Darkstone, who once heard that the Eowyn shower scene had actually been filmed, but then was cut with a similarly skilled blade.
 
I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong, strong, STRONG!
My armor is like tenfold shields! My teeth like swords! My claws, spears!
The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt! My wings, a hurricane! And my breath, death!
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Aug 24 2014, 4:44pm
Post #33 of 41
(217 views)
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And the Council of Elrond ended
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with a short (pun?) stand-up routine by Gloin. His stories about his distant cousin Seymour Butts (the only Dwarf surname listed in LOTR) were the hit of the entire Council.
Elrond laughed so hard his upper denture flew across the porch and landed in Galdor’s tea, and the Council officially ended when Galdor made a noise like a Boston Bull Dog in a cayenne sniffing contest.
** waiting for gramma **
Some say "Why"? - I say "Why not?
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The Grey Elf
Grey Havens
Aug 24 2014, 6:40pm
Post #34 of 41
(208 views)
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as many of us have turned to gross-out humor for our analogies. I guess I'm to blame since I started it. It will be my albatross to bear if, said albatross were actually a fell beast who'd done an epic fail on the Jenny Craig program. And then ate Jenny Craig.
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Dame Ioreth
Tol Eressea
Aug 24 2014, 7:32pm
Post #35 of 41
(199 views)
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But that is what the contest was supposed to be!
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OK, not all gross but outrageous. My favorite of that contest I think encapsulates the essence of the challenge: "Her hair glistened like nose hairs after a sneeze." It's so beautifully poetic...like a devotee of Whitman who smoked his favorite poem instead of reading it.  *sigh*
Well done to all! I think we're ready in the event that the Post ever runs a contest with LOTR-themed outrageous analogies.
Where there's life there's hope, and need of vittles.
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Aug 24 2014, 10:05pm
Post #36 of 41
(189 views)
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Agreed Dame I - someone should start some LOTR-themed outrageousness
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Because:
1. Sentence structure goes kaplooey (and I’m good at that!)
2. It doesn’t have to make a bit of sense (and I’m good at that!), and . .
3. It’s fun! 
From Tokien 1st lines:
Gil-galad was an Elven-king, except on those rare occasions when he was dead.
Grey as a mouse, just exactly as grey as the sunlight blasting into your tired eyeballs from the back window of a 1959 Pontiac Bonneville isn’t.
I sit beside the fire and think, unless I’m outside mowing the parth with my 46 inch John Deere Tractor.
Some say "Why"? - I say "Why not?"
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Darkstone
Immortal
Aug 25 2014, 1:57pm
Post #37 of 41
(180 views)
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"The only difference is that there is no cat.”
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We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.
-James Davis Nicoll
It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear.
-Douglas Adams
"Well, after all, this is the age of the disposable tissue. Blow your nose on a person, wad them, flush them away, reach for another, blow, wad, flush."
-Ray Bradbury
“If people were like rain, I was like drizzle and she was a hurricane.”
-John Green
The bridge cracked. Right at the Balrog's feet it broke, and the stone upon which it stood crashed into the gulf, while the rest remained, poised, quivering like a tongue of rock thrust out into emptiness.
-JRR Tolkien
“You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.”
-Albert Einstein
“Without inspiration, we’re all like a box of matches that will never be lit.”
-David Archuleta
“He once told me that an August evening was 'as hot as three toads in a Cuisinart,' a comparison that left me blinking two days later.”
-Dean Koontz
Egon: I'm worried. It's getting crowded in there and all my data points to something big on the horizon.
Winston: What do you mean, big?
Egon: Well, let's say this twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's sample, it would be a twinkie... thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
Winston: That's a big twinkie.
-Ghostbusters
"Everything I have just said is nonsense. It bears no resemblence to the truth of the matter in any way at all."
-Terry Pratchett
Ominous Voice: “And so, Darkstone, it is now time for you to say hello to... Death!’”
Darkstone: “Well, hello, Mr. Death! How’s Mrs. Death and all the petit morts?”
******************************************
Aragorn and Legolas went now with Éomer in the van.
-Helm’s Deep, Chapter 7, Book III, The Two Towers
"Rorth Rorlingas!!"
Sauron: "And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling hobbits!"
(Thanks to Brethil for image and battlecry.)
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Bombadil
Half-elven
Aug 25 2014, 2:27pm
Post #38 of 41
(170 views)
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ButtHOLE
Blowing his Nose..?
Goldberry
Glided
Glittering ...
Giving her Trees
Names?
"OLD Man Willow"
wazz NOT
Pleased..?
Reporting in "Live"
from THAT.. Forest
no one?
Even...
....FILM-Maker.zz.. WANT...
to FILM?
( .."TRa, LA, la..."..into some OTHER.. Valley)
www.charlie-art.biz
"What Your Mind can conceive... charlie can achieve"
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The Grey Elf
Grey Havens
Aug 25 2014, 4:12pm
Post #39 of 41
(155 views)
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Happy to see more sibs jumping on board with this!
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Our world is overflowing with grief right now. We can use all the comic relief we can make. In that vein, since all of my initial nominees have now responded and I've already posted other analogies, I now nominate three more people:
Kelvarhin! Magpie! sauget!
Give us your best -- or should I say worst?
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Kilidoescartwheels
Valinor
Aug 26 2014, 8:45pm
Post #41 of 41
(146 views)
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Thranduil glared at Thror harshly. He secretly hated all dwarves, the way some people hate the New York Yankees for no apparent reason. Thorin was so confused by his grandfather's action. He turned to Thror, searching for an answer like a brand new student who was running late, desperately trying to find his classroom. Yet there was neither reason nor class in Thror's expression, only a smugness that reeked of a politician's doublespeak.
How's that?
Why yes, I DO look like Anna Friel!
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