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An Orc at War

Tol Eressea

Nov 3 2013, 8:39pm

Post #1 of 3 (188 views)
An Orc at War Can't Post

How might the life of ordinary orcs have looked? Could they be shockingly similar to us?

Without further adieu, another twisted imagining from my somewhat macabre mind.

Found in the archived records of the Sauron Sentinel-- the former premier paper of Mordor.

(Start archived text. Issue# 5.675)


For the notice of G---k in the ranks of the Luzburg Legion. Dearest G. It seems like years since we have seen each other. I only write now to tell you important news. A baby is here now, your own sweet monster, and he is growing. His first fangs came in faster than any other orc-ling, and he bites anyone who comes near him. I am SO proud!! He has your cunning sneer and long arms, he is perfectly hideous!! Just like a little you! Please respond soon so that we may make suitable arrangements.


(Found in the next week's issue. #5.676)

Shut up woman!! Just shut up!! How do you know he's mine now?! Answer that!! And what do you mean writing like this, in the middle of a war!!! The boys might just figure out who "Dearest G." Is, then I'd NEVER get above sub-maggot rank!! Just shut yer hole, and keep the spawn until I can get a look at him. By Barad-dūr, you'd think we were raising a prize pig if you go on about his looks!! So he can bite, but can he use his claws yet, hmmm...?? Just give him the classical education I had. It's put me on a good path. Biting, Beating, and Bellowing, they're all the basics that he'll need. Make sure that he does AND gets a lot of each. My father was always ready to 'educate' me, and a good job he did too, until I broke the beating rod over HIS head. He did the bellowing then!!!! I'll scrawl a few more nasty notes if I can. Getting past the captain( may his gizzards rot!)to post this is not easy. Keep him and keep quiet!!


(End of recovered text)

Further investigation may uncover more details of this amazingly domestic affair.

Call me Rem. Rembrethil is a lot to type!!


Nov 4 2013, 7:32am

Post #2 of 3 (107 views)
Beautiful! But - [In reply to] Can't Post

this is a family board, and I'm afraid the rest of G---k's epistles are unfit to be reproduced here. Good on you finding one that was!


Nov 6 2013, 6:31pm

Post #3 of 3 (58 views)
Excellent! // [In reply to] Can't Post


Disclaimers: The words of noWizardme may stand on their heads! I'm often wrong about things, and its fun to be taught more....

"nowimė I am in the West, Furincurunir to the Dwarves (or at least, to their best friend) and by other names in other lands. Mostly they just say 'Oh no it's him - look busy!' "
Or "Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"


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