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Personal Ad, Lord of the Rings style


Sep 23 2013, 7:57pm

Post #1 of 11 (351 views)
Personal Ad, Lord of the Rings style Can't Post

Hey, I was wondering if you guys could help me write a mock-personal ad, using as many LotR puns as possible. So far the loose idea is something like this:

LotR fan seeks short, hairy-footed female. Strict requirements - If you're too short you shall not pass.

Or something?

It's just for fun, but I'm really bad at this, so help would be great.



Sep 23 2013, 8:37pm

Post #2 of 11 (227 views)
Some of the fanfics might give you some ideas [In reply to] Can't Post

LOTS of Thorin/Bilbo (male or female) romance fanfics.

Could go something like . . .
Majestic King in exile (very hairy) looking for hairy-footed, but otherwise hairless M/F (your choice) to steal his heart. Burglar references required

Tall, beautiful blond elf looking for short hairy M/F to travel with across Middle Earth for a hundred years or so, then go on a cruise.

Too explicit? I guess it would depend on the type of ad you are creating. Roomate? Love? House to rent? Car to sell?


Sep 23 2013, 9:04pm

Post #3 of 11 (231 views)
Desperately Seeking Shire [In reply to] Can't Post

No bad hobbits, please.

Just be your elf.

Looking forward to a ranger meeting.

Give us a ring.

Looking forward to Tolkien with ya!

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Sometime hours and hours hence:
In The Green Dragon two ales could buy
And drank the one less filling I
And that has made all the difference.
- The Ale Less Filling, by Robert Frostymug


Sep 24 2013, 2:59am

Post #4 of 11 (172 views)
*mods up* :D // [In reply to] Can't Post


Bag ENZ Home of the Hobbit *with thanks to cameragod ;D*

One by one they faded, and fell into shadow...

One book to rule them all
One book to find them
One book to bring them all
And in TORn bind them
In the land of TORnadoes...where the brilliant play

Na Vedui

Sep 24 2013, 3:31am

Post #5 of 11 (171 views)
Lovely! // [In reply to] Can't Post


Sep 26 2013, 11:28am

Post #6 of 11 (136 views)
Seeking companions for Road Trip East. Camping, riding, flying, spelunking. Contact BB, Bagshot Row, Shire // [In reply to] Can't Post


5th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - August 11, 2013
1st draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observation List - August 11, 2013


"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!

TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)

L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens

Sep 26 2013, 4:03pm

Post #7 of 11 (145 views)
Sensitive Fourth-Age man seeks Queen. Give me jewelry and I'm yours.// [In reply to] Can't Post


What business does a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, a dwarf, and a hobbit have in the Rivenmark?

Grey Havens

Sep 26 2013, 4:43pm

Post #8 of 11 (124 views)
LOL! your sig line :-) // [In reply to] Can't Post


A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.



Sep 26 2013, 5:01pm

Post #9 of 11 (125 views)
VGL [In reply to] Can't Post

VGL Elf (well, we're all VGL) seeking Man to throw away my immortality for. You must be: sane, VGL, of royal descent, and good at killing Orcs. Hit me up on the Palantir at 'FirstAgeGal" and be prepared to impress my dad.

Grey Havens

Sep 26 2013, 5:38pm

Post #10 of 11 (130 views)
Here's nine [In reply to] Can't Post

1. Seasoned traveler seeking a special someone with whom to share in an adventure, someone who will keep my heart's secrets safe. Tolerance of pipe-smokers a must.

2. Rugged outdoorsman seeking companion to share long woodland walks and moonlit bridges. Not a morning person--evenings preferred.

3. Keeping a keen eye out for someone who appreciates well-groomed archers. Will you bulls-eye this prince's heart?

4. Seeking someone fond of the mountains and the glittering beauty to be found within. No long-distance relationships please.

5. Tall, charismatic Southern gentleman, ever watchful for one who will come charging, not simply walk, into my heart.

6. Seeking someone to cook for and who will share in appreciating beautiful flowers, especially roses.

7. Not idly does this descendant of the Bullroarer fall. Seeking someone with spark, a real firecracker. Are you that someone? I hope the seeing-stone says All Signs Point to Yes.

8. Seeking someone who enjoys raft rides down the river, and some draught now and then. As a friend to my heart will you be to me?

9. Recovering from a relationship disaster (I had to literally throw the ring away, though it was hard to let go of), seeking someone who will accompany me on a heart-healing cruise to a far green country under a swift sunrise.

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.



Sep 27 2013, 2:59pm

Post #11 of 11 (149 views)
I love your new sig too!! // [In reply to] Can't Post



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