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If Middle-earth had TV...

Na Vedui

May 25 2013, 10:40pm

Post #1 of 15 (453 views)
If Middle-earth had TV... Can't Post

After I posted a spoof Middle-earth TV schedule on the Fan Art board (see Tonight on TV), elaen32 suggested Middle-earth TV might be a fun thread here on Main. What programmes do you think they might have? Who would be on them? Over to you!


May 26 2013, 12:07am

Post #2 of 15 (279 views)
Some possibilities [In reply to] Can't Post

Gardening with Treebeard.

Saruman would be an anchor on Fox News.

Sitcom: Two Men and a Halfling.

Bowling with Dwarves.

ORK TV featuring Friday Nite Deth Match, Elven Girls Gone Wild and 1001 Ways to Watch Stupid People Die.

'There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world.' - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring


May 26 2013, 12:55am

Post #3 of 15 (271 views)
Two shows of the same name [In reply to] Can't Post

"Hearty Dwarf Cooking." One version on 7FathersTV. The other on OrcVision.

Horrifyingly different formats.

Manwe, when asked a simple "Yes" or "No" question, contemplated, and responded "the middle one."

(This post was edited by Brethil on May 26 2013, 12:56am)


May 26 2013, 1:42am

Post #4 of 15 (282 views)
A few real-life shows were really inspired by Tolkien [In reply to] Can't Post

Cheers: A comedy about a group of regulars at a bar, in this case the Green Dragon. Watch the Gamgees and the Sandymans think up new insults for each other every week, while barmaid Rosie foists her feminine wiles on shy Sam. Uncle Bilbo has a recurring role as the local eccentric millionaire.

Friends: A group of friends wanders through their early adulthood years, having laughs and cries over romance, work, and some partially understood Quest about a Ring.

Lost: An ensemble cast of strangers struggle to survive after a shipwreck on a mysterious island (is it Numenor? Valinor?). This week's episode: the Smoke Monster turns out to be a Balrog. Viggo Mortensen stars as Sawyer.


May 26 2013, 5:20am

Post #5 of 15 (243 views)
My contributions.... [In reply to] Can't Post

Eastenders- a neighborhood of truculent Easterlings all grumble and fight among themselves

24 - the number of the Company ( inc Gandalf) plus the Fellowship. Each episode features one of the 24. Initially there was a union dispute because Gandalf got two episodes, but it was resolved when he threatened to turn them all into something unnatural

Game of Thrones - Rulers of Middleearth line up their thrones and play musical chairs.

Beorn Grylls - Beorn shows 13 dwarves and a Hobbit how to hunt and cook orcs, plus general Wilderland survival skills

"Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold"

(This post was edited by elaen32 on May 26 2013, 5:24am)

Hamfast Gamgee
Grey Havens

May 26 2013, 9:45am

Post #6 of 15 (232 views)
A typical viewing [In reply to] Can't Post

Middle-earth cookery programs
Lots of reality programs
Gondor hospital programs
Gondor police dramas
A few soaps
Striders journeys
Some historical dramas of the 2nd age
Dr Gandalf, Gandalf travelling in time all over Middle-Earth, but precious little elsewhere
Inspector Faramir investigates
Mr Wormtongue an annoying but pesistant and shouting troubleshooter goes around investigating dodgy deals in Rohan
Middle-Earth gots no talent
The rolling news, going to the most depressing story in middle-earth in an instant and presenting it in the most miserable way possible as everyone watches it as if hypnotizied
The only thing worth watching mostly a comedy from around thirty years ago.
Just about sums up most nights viewing! I don't watch much TV


May 26 2013, 10:18am

Post #7 of 15 (236 views)
Some more [In reply to] Can't Post

Oh no, I'm on a roll now

Pride & Prejudice- historical drama about Feanor and his sons

Houses of Healing Watch- documentary about the daily lives of healers and patients in Minas Tirith's main hospital

North & South- docudrama about the Mouth of Sauron ( sorry, cockney rhyming slang joke)

White Horses- Shadowfax and friends have adventures on the Plains of Rohan ( really showing my age here, does anyone else remember this Czech kids programme? I never understood what it was about, even with the dubbing, but liked the theme song)

Belle and Sebastian - Radagast's hedgehog friends explore Mirkwood ( another ancient dubbed kids programme, French this time)Crazy

"Beneath the roof of sleeping leaves the dreams of trees unfold"


May 26 2013, 3:26pm

Post #8 of 15 (212 views)
Mythbusters in Middle-earth [In reply to] Can't Post

This season on Mythbusters, watch the crew as they answer these questions through real-life experiments:

  1. Can a Ring of Power be melted in a microwave?
  2. Can an eagle carry a human, and if so, how far?
  3. Will giant spiders really not attack you in a tunnel if you have some light on you?
  4. Does Rivendell's river really flood out attackers, or was that just a lucky coincidence?


May 26 2013, 5:27pm

Post #9 of 15 (215 views)
How I Met Your Mother [In reply to] Can't Post

Elrond tells Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen, the story of how he met Celebrķan. 800 seasons in, and we have yet to meet her.

Ziggy Stardust

May 27 2013, 1:45am

Post #10 of 15 (193 views)
I want my ME TV [In reply to] Can't Post

They can have music videos by the Beech Boys, Durin Durin, Quenya, The Clash of Spears, and The Thin White Hobbit.


May 27 2013, 2:20am

Post #11 of 15 (199 views)
All in the family [In reply to] Can't Post

About a working class Dwarf and veteran of the Dwarf/Goblin wars who got shot in the butt with a goblin arrow at the Battle of Annulzibar and who lets his only daughters boyfreind move into his home ....

Take this Brother May it Serve you Well
Vote for Pedro!


May 27 2013, 5:09pm

Post #12 of 15 (137 views)
Hilarious! // [In reply to] Can't Post



May 28 2013, 9:28am

Post #13 of 15 (154 views)
River Monsters! [In reply to] Can't Post

The Best Thing I Ever Ate
Yard Crashers
House Crashers
The Voice (Saruman would especially like that one ;)

4th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - May 1, 2013


"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!

TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


May 29 2013, 7:32am

Post #14 of 15 (113 views)
Hmmmm.... [In reply to] Can't Post

Are You Smarter Than a Fourth Ager?

The Fey-Team

Boromir in The Weakest Link

Arwen in The Cougar

Numenor: Temptation Island

Elf Eye For The Dwarf Guy

Melkor’s The Apprentice

Whose Ring Is It Anyway?

King of The Underhill

Hole Improvement

Gamgee Girls

Star Trek: Earendil

Southron Park

I met a Balrog on the stair.
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today.
I wish he would just fly away.

(This post was edited by Darkstone on May 29 2013, 7:33am)


May 30 2013, 2:13am

Post #15 of 15 (119 views)
The Food Network [In reply to] Can't Post

The Food Network would be based in The Shire!

And probably HGTV as well. Sam would be the star of his own gardening makeover show.


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