Good point Sulime, the elves act completely different to their book counterparts. Yes they are grim and full of melancholy but they are almost equally full of mirth and childlike wonder. This dualism contributes to their non human and seemingly alien demeanor. They are like humans in some regard but mostly strange and react in extremes.

As for Gandalf, I believe part of his personality comes into play with his interactions. Being a humble spirit taking the guise of a wizened elderly fellow he embodies restrained wisdom and selfless pride. It is not in Gandalf's nature to dominate others or demand respect. However Galadriel is full of pride and as one of the Noldor more aligned with the personality and character as one of Aule in the vein of Sauron and Saruman.

Of course Gandalf is an "angelic" being but his true self is concealed for a specific purpose and intent. Do any angels or servants of higher beings demand reverence or adulation? Therefore Gandalf naturally assumes a position of subservience because he is in fact on a mission to assist the peoples of Middle Earth. In fact I would personally find fault in a reversed situation, I just could not imagine Gandalf commanding Galadriel or demonstrating an air of superiority, he is simply far too humble and meek an individual.

I know personally Olroin, you took serious offense with the way Gandalf was portrayed in the White Council scene but you shouldn't concern yourself with the interpretations of the common audience. The average moviegoer has little understanding of Tolkien mythos and there are many embellished scenes even in LOTR which fail to convey the depth or complexity of the story. The average person would see Arwen as possessing elemental power over water which we know is not the case. The average person would see Elrond as detached and jaded by suffering and loss to the point of angry possessiveness of his daughter which is so unlike his book counterpart. Most infuriatingly the average person thinks Sauron was invincible and was by freakish coincidence slain by a lucky Isildur but we know that it was Elendil and Gil-galad who was responsible. These changes exist and alter dynamics and nuances but can be reconciled with the lore. More importantly it is irrelevant what the general masses think of LOTR.

Obviously AinurOlorin you have a great deal of interest and intrigue for Gandalf, but you shouldn't let sentimental notions blind you to the greater picture of the White Council. If a hobbit can give a spiritual entity courage why can't one of the firstborn which has endured much more than a sheltered servant of a god give advise and counsel? Many times even the Valar have shown surprise and wonder at the firstborn's ability and capacity. It is not outside of reason to suggest that Galadriel and the Noldor know more of the enemy and the effects of its evil than the Maiar who have not been as personally affected. In terms of experience and knowledge on the subject it is possible Elrond and Galadriel are better positioned to assist the Istari in their chief objective, to help the free peoples deny and unturn Sauron.