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There once was a Dwarf from Nantucket...

Roheryn
Grey Havens

Nov 21 2012, 11:39am

Post #1 of 10 (338 views)
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There once was a Dwarf from Nantucket... Can't Post

Just kidding. Feel free to finish the Nantucket limerick yourself. Or write some other limerick. Or an iam, trochee, or corinthian ionic pentameter. Or anything else you can make up. Or weird noises?

My offering:

If hotness in Dwarves will prevail,
When at last they are finally unveiled:
They mustnít be hairy,
Stocky or scary,
And bearded ones always are male.

So if dwarves were supposed to be hot
(I assure you, however, theyíre not)
Then such an unveiling
Would cause an exhaling
And fanciful fangirly-ful thoughts.


Ethel Duath
Valinor


Nov 21 2012, 7:25pm

Post #2 of 10 (191 views)
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An Epicure dining at Crewe (oops, wrong one! ;) ) [In reply to] Can't Post

(With apologies to Dr. Seuss for one of the lines--guess which one!)

There once was a dwarf from Nantucket,
Who said, "We are late, we must truck it!
They're filming on set,
And the barrels are wet.
We're those fine, bearded Hunks in a bucket!"


L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens


Nov 21 2012, 7:51pm

Post #3 of 10 (186 views)
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Miss Moria said, "Don't be feared.... [In reply to] Can't Post

If my pulchritude strikes you as weird,
'Twas no dance recital
That brought me my title,
But only the length of my beard."



"123456!... password!... password1!... password2!... Gimli, do you know Durin's date of birth? Thanks. 140457!... mithril@!... mithril#!... maltbeer!... qwerty!... Legolas, do your elf eyes see any post-its lying around the base of the cliff?"


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Grey Havens


Nov 21 2012, 11:26pm

Post #4 of 10 (147 views)
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There once was a Durin's Folk hair club [In reply to] Can't Post

For follically-challenged chins, their club.
Its CEO, so reliant,
Was also its client,
Her beard, it came straight from a bear cub.

A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.

http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;


silneldor
Half-elven


Nov 22 2012, 1:19am

Post #5 of 10 (153 views)
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There once was a dwarf from Nantucket [In reply to] Can't Post

When at last found a hole in his bucket,
Realizing all that he lost,
with all that it cost,
And all he had to do to muck it.

So off he went chasing it's trail,
Over yon hill and dale,
And realizing he still had a hole,
He stuck in a bole,
Rathering the Green Dragon and chasing an ale.















(This post was edited by dernwyn on Nov 22 2012, 1:32am)


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Nov 22 2012, 2:24am

Post #6 of 10 (159 views)
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There once was a she-elf in Mirkwood [In reply to] Can't Post

Whose prowess was known clear to Chetwood.
Though her focus was battle
Her attention did rattle
as she suddenly cried, "LIG-BWAD!"

Her comrades who stood there in nearness
Were confused, and did ask for more clearness.
She uncommonly blushed
and said low and more hushed
"Legolas is great... but WHAT A DWARF!"



sample

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.



TORn's Observations Lists
Unused Scenes



Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Nov 22 2012, 3:58am

Post #7 of 10 (136 views)
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*huge applause* / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Nov 22 2012, 4:09am

Post #8 of 10 (153 views)
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Fashion is a dangerous thing: [In reply to] Can't Post

A handsome young dwarf slipped ahead
To quietly track the undead
His beard-rings did dangle
And clink with a jangle
- he was grabbed by his quarry, it's said.

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Silverlode
Forum Admin / Moderator


Nov 22 2012, 6:39am

Post #9 of 10 (155 views)
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I call this..... [In reply to] Can't Post

Idle Speculation

Bearded dwarf chins and furred hobbit toes
What they actually look like nobody knows.
As I sit here and ponder, the thought comes unbidden -
What would we see if the truth were not hidden?

If one crept up behind, with razor in hand
And whisked it all off, every last little strand -
With the cases reversed, suppose we should find
The truth thus revealed: We were better off blind!

Hobbits might have bony feet like a rat -
Or would it be worse if their toes were quite fat?
Could Dwarf-lords still swagger with pride in their breed
If others could see how their jawlines recede?

Perhaps it is best if we never find out -
Would fangirls still squee if they knew beyond doubt
That the hotness of dwarves and the cuteness of hobbits
Were due in great part to hirsuteness of habit?

The more I consider, the more I conclude
Such questions should not be allowed to intrude.
I'm just grateful for unnumbered blessings bestowed
By those bearded dwarf chins and furred hobbit toes!




Silverlode






(This post was edited by Silverlode on Nov 22 2012, 6:42am)


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Nov 22 2012, 6:10pm

Post #10 of 10 (191 views)
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Nice one! / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories

 
 

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