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For the Birthday

Registered User

Sep 24 2012, 8:53pm

Post #1 of 3 (371 views)
For the Birthday Can't Post

Wrote this on Saturday for The Birthday. Thought folks here might get a kick out of it. (Still no title for it, though.)

Hope everyone's well!


"Begging your pardon, my Lord," said Sam, "but I don't believe you."

"Sam!" Frodo turned to look at him.

"Well, I don't, Mr. Frodo." Sam's voice was firm. "It makes no sense, if you take my meaning. Why would a beast have a horn in the middle of his nose?"

"Two horns," the King reminded him.

"Two horns, yes. Thank you, Strider. Why? What for? They'd just get in the way." Sam thought this a very good point.

"But I can assure you it is true," the Ambassador replied warmly. He gestured to his servant, who slipped quickly from the room, then leaned towards Sam. "They are fierce, as well. Very big and very bad tempered. I would not go near them."

"Sam," Frodo said. "You've seen yourself the Ambassador's people ride oliphaunts, haven't you?"

"Well, yes," Sam said, a bit suspicious.

"Don't oliphaunts have noses like long vines? What's the point of that?"

Sam hadn't thought of it that way. He was about to answer when the Harad came back into the room and handed the Ambassador a scroll. He stood and placed it on the table. "Come sir," he said with a polite nod, "see for yourself." He spread the scroll open.

They looked. There on the papyrus was drawn the Ambassador's improbable beast. It was indeed unlovely - with little piggy eyes and what looked like folded plates of thick stony hide - but certainly imposing. Those horns, though. Sam still thought them a bit silly. Next to it was drawn a man, so one might see how big the thing was, he supposed. Goodness.

"The weight of ten men, you said, sir?" Sam asked, looking at the southerner.

"Yes." The man's eyes twinkled. "And as wide across as three." His eyebrows rose. The King laughed.

Sam looked at Mr. Frodo, who smiled with delight and whispered, "Imagine what Bilbo will say."


September 22nd is World Rhinoceros Day.

May I speak candidly, fleshling, one conscious entity to another, myself a book and you a reader?
-- James Morrow, The Last Witchfinder

Email me at serai1 at livejournal dot com

Forum Admin / Moderator

Sep 24 2012, 11:09pm

Post #2 of 3 (123 views)
Thank you - this is wonderful! [In reply to] Can't Post

I love how Sam still calls the King "Strider".


Registered User

Sep 24 2012, 11:26pm

Post #3 of 3 (418 views)
Heehee! [In reply to] Can't Post

I'm glad you like it. I thought it a little rude of Sam (especially in front of a foreign dignitary), but found I couldn't write it any other way. Anything else sounded...not Sam, if you take my meaning.

May I speak candidly, fleshling, one conscious entity to another, myself a book and you a reader?
-- James Morrow, The Last Witchfinder

Email me at serai1 at livejournal dot com


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