Our Sponsor Sideshow Collectibles Send us News
Lord of the Rings Tolkien
Search Tolkien
Lord of The RingsTheOneRing.net - Forged By And For Fans Of JRR Tolkien
Lord of The Rings Serving Middle-Earth Since The First Age

Lord of the Rings Movie News - J.R.R. Tolkien
Do you enjoy the 100% volunteer, not for profit services of TheOneRing.net?
Consider a donation!

  Main Index   Search Posts   Who's Online   Log in
The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Reading Room:
The Unofficial Bored of the Rings Discussion, Chapter VII: Serutan Spelled Backwards is Mud - Part II, An Homage to Walt

dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


Jun 22 2012, 4:07am

Post #1 of 5 (496 views)
Shortcut
The Unofficial Bored of the Rings Discussion, Chapter VII: Serutan Spelled Backwards is Mud - Part II, An Homage to Walt Can't Post

(Again, you need not stick to the questions proffered, indeed feel free to speculate wildly.)

They had not ridden but two hours before they reached a crested hill and Eorache bellowed the order to halt. Down in the low valley lay the pastel pink-and-blue walls of Serutan's mighty fortress. The entire city was ringed with walls, and around the walls was a pale-lavender moat crossed by a bright green drawbridge. Pennants flapped in the breeze bravely and the tall towers seemed verily to goose the clouds.

Beyond the walls the expedition saw the many wonders that had lured countless tourists through its portals in the past. Amusements of all descriptions lay within: carnivals and sideshows under permanent tents, fairies' wheels and gollum-coasters, tunnels of troth, griffin-go-rounds and gaming houses where a yokel could lose an idle hour, and if he wasn't careful, his jerkin. Years before, when Serutan still showed a fair face to the world, Goodgulf had worked in such a house as a croupier for "Ye Wheel of Ye Fortune." But only for a short time. Why he left and why he had been forever barred from Serutanland, as the evil Wizard renamed it, no one knew. And Goodgulf wasn't telling.

The company stared with apprehension at the motionless wheels and tarpaulined exhibits. At the looming battlements stood rows of archers and pikemen, behind them caldrons of boiling farina. Above the ramparts rose a huge sign with the face of a cartoon character made famous through comic scrolls and innumerable shoddy toys. It was the visage of Dickey Dragon that simpered at the riders above the letters that read Welcome to Serutanland. All Rides Tuppence on Sundays. Everywhere, they noticed, were the brainless grins of Dickey Dragon. Pennants, signs, walls all bore that same idiotic, tongue-lolling face. But now that once-beloved creature had revealed itself to be the symbol of its creator's lust for power, a power that had to be ended.


- Here we have, without a doubt, proof that Kenney and Beard knew about Tolkien's distaste for Disney. How does Serutanland compare to the Disneyworld of the 1960's?
- Why aren't the rides active at present?
- Which is worse, boiling oil or boiling farina?
- Is Mickey Mouse a "symbol" of his creator's "lust for power"?


"A mighty fortress is our Dickey Dragon," said Goodgulf, ignoring the groans of those around him.

"Ja," agreed Eorache, "der Serutanner macht der mint mit der Dickey Dragon hats und der Dickey Dragon sweatshirts und der Dickey Dragon dis und der Dickey Dragon dot. One rich schtinker, der Serutanner ist."

Goodgulf agreed that this was so, and that when they had been friends he had not been a bad sort.

"But this was all a sham and a front for his real purposes," he added, "and for that we must conquer him."

"But how?" asked Legolam.

Wait for it...

"Der diversionary tactic!" exclaimed Eorache, her chicken bone quivering.

Kenney and Beard's visionary capacities are astounding, no? What do you mean, "no"?

"Ve need some dumkopf to draw dere attention vhile ve attack from der rear." She paused and looked slyly at the love-struck Ranger out of the corner of her eye. "Dot dumb--er, hero vould melt der heart of any fraulein, I thinking."

Stomper's ears perked up like a randy boxer and he drew his blade, crying, "Krona! I will undertake this mission for thy glory and honor, that I may win from you admiration, though I not return." Clumsily, he goaded his truculent merino to her side and kissed a calloused hand. "But first, I ask a token from thee, fair Eorache, that my valor may attempt to equal thy matchless charms. A token I ask of thee."

Puzzled for a second, Eorache nodded her horned head and unbuckled her thick leather wrist-strengthener and handed the metal-studded strap to Arrowroot, who fastened it joyfully around his neck.

"Hokay dere ist der token," she said, "now raus!"


- Do you find Arrowroot's drawing of Krona is a little too close to Aragorn's drawing of Anduril at the Last Debate for your liking?
- And that part about Arrowroot taking the "writst-strengthener": does it bring to mind a certain scene at the end of the first movie?


Without another word he galloped down the slope toward the drawbridge amid the cheers of the war party. Faster and faster he sped as the rest circled under the cover of the ridge. Then, just as the merino's sharp hooves approached the portal into the fortress, the bridge was quickly raised up, revealing a familiar scaly grin painted on the underside, along with the legend, Sorry, Folks. Closed For The Season. But Stomper's momentum carried him irresistibly onward until he plunged headlong into the lavender moat. Thrashing in the water, Stomper yelled with fear, for the moat became alive with sharp, rasping beaks. Great snapping turtles massed upon the drowning Ranger, and archers, noticing the commotion for the first time, began peppering the crackpot with crack potshots.

Clever wording here! Wasn't a scene like this in a Pink Panther movie?

Eorache, hearing his cries, rode over the crest and saw Stomper floundering in the moat, assailed on all sides. Barking a Roi-Tanner oath, she raced down to the moat and sprang from her mount after him, locking his head in the crook of her muscular arm, and made for the shore. Then, as the party watched with awe, she stood up in the two-foot depths and scampered to safety, two water-and-arrow-logged merinos at her heels.

A great cheer rose from the Roi-Tanners as their leader trotted smartly back to the hill, the gasping Ranger still in tow. Muttering under her breath, she applied artificial respiration to Stomper, who choked up a surprising quantity of the moat and several small turtles. The vicious reptiles had torn away much of his raiment, leaving only his undergarments, which the lady noticed had the Royal Crown of Twodor embroidered on the backflap.

"Hey!" she exclaimed to the semiconscious Ranger. "You got der Royal Crown of der Twodor embroidered on der backflap."

"Aye," said Goodgulf, "for he is the true King of these and all lands of Twodor."

"No kidding?" said Eorache, her eyes widening with concupiscence. "Hmmm. Maybe der dumkopf ist hokay after all." To the surprise of all, she began to murmur softly to Stomper as she threw him over her shoulder and gently burped him.


- Is it common for royal families to embroider their devices on their underwear?
- How does Eorache's attitude towards this suddenly-revealed royal personage mimic (or mock) Eowyn's feelings towards Aragorn?


"There is no time for courtly pastimes," said Goodgulf, "our diversion has failed and the enemy is now forewarned of our intentions. The hour to strike has passed and we are lost."

"Does that mean we can go home now?" asked Legolam.

"No!" said the Wizard, his medallion flashing in the sun, "for I see in the distance a vast army marching."

"Nuts," said Gimlet. "I thought we could call it a day."

With fearful eyes they all watched as a dark mass spread over a distant hill and moved toward them with alarming speed. Whether friend or foe, no one could discern. For many minutes they watched until cornets sounded from the battlements of Serutanland.

"They must be narc reinforcements come to destroy us all!" wailed the elf. "Sorhed has sent a great army against us!"

"No!" cried the Ranger. "They are not narcs, they are not like anything that I have seen."


- Does this exchange bring to mind Legolas and Gimli's responses to the forest of Huorns? If not that, which other moment from LotR?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915




(This post was edited by dernwyn on Apr 20 2013, 11:58pm)


Kimi
Forum Admin / Moderator


Jun 23 2012, 10:28pm

Post #2 of 5 (314 views)
Shortcut
Monogrammed underwear [In reply to] Can't Post

belonging to Queen Victoria occasionally comes up for auction. Here's an example: http://vicfangirlguide.tumblr.com/post/19006304978/the-monogram-on-a-pair-of-queen-victorias

Do you think an elven-lady embroiders Arrowroot's? :)


The Passing of Mistress Rose
My historical novels

Do we find happiness so often that we should turn it off the box when it happens to sit there?

- A Room With a View


dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


Jun 24 2012, 12:06pm

Post #3 of 5 (244 views)
Shortcut
Well, now we know "Victoria's Secret"! [In reply to] Can't Post

Wink

But whoever captioned that picture did the math wrong. A waist of 50 inches is a circumferential measurement, so her actual width would have been about 16 inches across at the waist.

And it looks like her drawers did not have drop seats - a proper modest lady! Laugh

Your question about who monogrammed Arrowroot's underpinnings raises the question: what kind of underwear did they wear in Middle-earth? And who manufactured it?

Shocked


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915




sador
Half-elven


Jul 3 2012, 3:16pm

Post #4 of 5 (227 views)
Shortcut
Why would Disney charge tuppence for a ride? [In reply to] Can't Post

First, some tasteless comments...

Quote
fairies' wheels and gollum-coasters


Like the balrog in the woodpile, isn't this?


Quote

gaming houses where a yokel could lose an idle hour, and if he wasn't careful, his jerkin.

This sounds not unfamiliar. The Men's room in Whee comes to mind, and also... but perhaps later.


Quote
Why he left and why he had been forever barred from Serutanland, as the evil Wizard renamed it, no one knew. And Goodgulf wasn't telling.


Today we call this "banned", don't we?


Quote
the face of a cartoon character made famous through comic scrolls and innumerable shoddy toys.


I move for moving this to Gaming and Collecting.



And now, some tasteless answers...
Here we have, without a doubt, proof that Kenney and Beard knew about Tolkien's distaste for Disney. How does Serutanland compare to the Disneyworld of the 1960's?
This detailed list of amusements reminds me more of Gandalf's fireworks in Bag End. Which no doubt says more about me than about them.

Why aren't the rides active at present?

Quote

She said that living with me
Was bringing her down yeah.
She would never be free
When I was around.
She's got a ticket to ri-hide,
She's got a ticket to ri-hi-hide,
She's got a ticket to ride,
But she don't care.


I guess the light hasn't dawned, and sher hasn't left him yet.

Which is worse, boiling oil or boiling farina?

I haven't got any experience with boiling farina. Boiling oil is bad.

Is Mickey Mouse a "symbol" of his creator's "lust for power"?

Hmm... I always thought the once-beloved "idiotic, tongue-lolling face" resembled Donald Duck more.
But lust for power... hmm... something like this?




And now, some more tasteless comments...


Quote
"A mighty fortress is our Dickey Dragon," said Goodgulf, ignoring the groans of those around him.


Were they groaning because there are something not to be forced upon a Catholic author, or because they were afraid he was going to sing?


Quote

"But how?" asked Legolam.

To quote our good friend Darkstone:

Quote
The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.




Kenney and Beard's visionary capacities are astounding, no? What do you mean, "no"?

Quote
"N-O spells no," said Goodgulf, adjusting his hat. "I don't want to wake up some bright morning with his pledge between my shoulder blades."




Do you find Arrowroot's drawing of Krona is a little too close to Aragorn's drawing of Anduril at the Last Debate for your liking?
As long as it's not too close to me, I don't really care.

And that part about Arrowroot taking the "writst-strengthener": does it bring to mind a certain scene at the end of the first movie?
Another proof that PJ and co. read BotR!
But I protest that I thought of it before you've asked...

Clever wording here!
Aye.

Wasn't a scene like this in a Pink Panther movie?
Sounds more like a Wile .E. Coyote disaster.
We've refered to that character before, haven't we? As Gimlet opined: "This is getting monotonous".

Is it common for royal families to embroider their devices on their underwear?
It's good sense:


Quote

Against the True King Sorhed's workin'
So play your cards close to your jerkin...

But once this yokel wasn't careful, he lost his jerkin. Blush

How does Eorache's attitude towards this suddenly-revealed royal personage mimic (or mock) Eowyn's feelings towards Aragorn?

Quote
she began to murmur softly to Stomper as she threw him over her shoulder and gently burped him.


More like Jackson's Gimli, isn't it?

Does this exchange bring to mind Legolas and Gimli's responses to the forest of Huorns?
Now that you say so, it does ring similar.

If not that, which other moment from LotR?
Aragorn riding up the river in the Corsair boats.










dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


Jul 5 2012, 3:18am

Post #5 of 5 (284 views)
Shortcut
Feed the birds, tuppence a bag... [In reply to] Can't Post

Searched Gaming & Collecting. Nope, no one's got any Dickey Dragon items in there. Either those are worthless, or everyone's hanging on to theirs! Angelic

Yes - "barred" is a polite way of saying "banned". Quite the opposite of Gandalf: one was made prisoner, the other forced to leave!

Ticket to ride? Actually, she doesn't have a ticket to ride! Serutan accepted hard cash only. And tuppence makes a great token.

(No comment on the Mickey Mouse politics - politicians always seem like they're from Disneyland, anyway! Laugh)

I must admit to also emitting a groan when I first read Goodgulf's "A mighty fortress..." line. Poor Bach, to have his "Ein feste Burg" dragged into this!

Gimli's burping? I wonder if he had the devices of Durin embroidered on his underpinnings...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915



 
 

Search for (options) Powered by Gossamer Forum v.1.2.3

home | advertising | contact us | back to top | search news | join list | Content Rating

This site is maintained and updated by fans of The Lord of the Rings, and is in no way affiliated with Tolkien Enterprises or the Tolkien Estate. We in no way claim the artwork displayed to be our own. Copyrights and trademarks for the books, films, articles, and other promotional materials are held by their respective owners and their use is allowed under the fair use clause of the Copyright Law. Design and original photography however are copyright © 1999-2012 TheOneRing.net. Binary hosting provided by Nexcess.net

Do not follow this link, or your host will be blocked from this site. This is a spider trap.