|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
orcbane
Gondor
Mar 26 2009, 2:09am
Post #1 of 22
(5644 views)
Shortcut
|
|
orcbane vs Draupne
|
Can't Post
|
|
Draupne - is mounted on her Warhorse Ozzy Oldenburger and is armed with an empty Pez dispenser.
Orcbane - is skipping along with his pretend Arabian Charger Wendal and a box of Dots. He is dragging a Rubbermaid laundry basket behind him, full of Pineapple Grenades,
has the Magnificent Seven,
and Gort from 'The Day the earth Stood Still'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new name I take to myself. Njarro-Huan
(This post was edited by orcbane on Mar 26 2009, 2:11am)
|
|
|
Child of Manwe
Rivendell
Mar 26 2009, 5:27pm
Post #2 of 22
(1544 views)
Shortcut
|
|
Draupne....you have too much going on orcbane...//
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
"We are the Knights who say 'Ni'!"
|
|
|
orcbane
Gondor
Mar 26 2009, 6:17pm
Post #3 of 22
(1609 views)
Shortcut
|
Child of Manwe vs Gort http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsOfhvcjKu4
P.S. Contrary to your report I know Uncle George is not dead. There have been seven break-ins at grocery and conveinence stores in the area since he went missing. And at every one, one and only one thing is taken. Bananas
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new name I take to myself. Njarro-Huan
(This post was edited by orcbane on Mar 26 2009, 6:23pm)
|
|
|
fairelvenlady
Rivendell
Mar 27 2009, 2:45pm
Post #4 of 22
(1623 views)
Shortcut
|
The Magnificent seven quickly realize that their leader is riding a hobby horse so they ride over to join draupne and flatten orcbane in the process. As this happens the pineapple bombs are tossed in the air and blow up gort. Thus Draupne wins without having to do anything.
|
|
|
orcbane
Gondor
Mar 27 2009, 8:15pm
Post #5 of 22
(1719 views)
Shortcut
|
|
Not bad at all, but you forgot the Dots
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
That was the most important thing I brought with me. I love them! But more importantly, they love me too. 
These were spilled on the ground and except for one or two relatively clean ones that I pop in my mouth, the others begin to sprout into....
The Children of the Hydra, don't you know. Oh and here is my ride finally!
A War Elephant fitted out with twin Vicker's machine guns in the tower.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new name I take to myself. Njarro-Huan
|
|
|
dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Mar 28 2009, 1:01am
Post #6 of 22
(1686 views)
Shortcut
|
First, the horses of the Magnificent Seven are all fillies, and upon seeing that magnificent stallion Ozzy they go beserk, running around crazily and upsetting their riders into a cactus patch, putting them effectively out of the game.
Then Gort, his mechanical brain short-circuiting, thinks Wendel is the cutest pony he's ever seen, and after forcibly taking him from you as you pelt him with Dots, rides him back to his spaceship and blasts off for home to build him a proper stable.
Meanwhile Draupne has come up behind you while you've been distracted by Gort, and pinched your finger with the "mouth" of the Pez, making you drop the Dots. Ozzy soccer-kicks the basket of pineapple grenades, spilling them into the cactus patch which the Magnificent Seven are still trying to extricate themselves from.
With the basket in mid-flight, Draupne catches it, and plunks it over you. (It's one of those extra-large laundry baskets.) She then proceeds to sit on top of it, and threatens to make you eat lutefisk unless you agree to pick up all the Dots, which are becoming gooey now that it's started to rain.
Come to think of it, gooey Dots have a lot in common with lutefisk...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915
|
|
|
fairelvenlady
Rivendell
Mar 28 2009, 4:09am
Post #7 of 22
(1653 views)
Shortcut
|
Well Draupne has a secret weapon....... a mouse. She lets the mouse loose thus frightning the elephant which feints on top of the children of hydra and also neutralizes the guns. Draupne then valiantly rides off into the sunset dragging the vanquished enemy behind her.
|
|
|
orcbane
Gondor
Mar 28 2009, 5:04am
Post #8 of 22
(1814 views)
Shortcut
|
I get out my pet ant No. 679,440 who has been hiding in my sneaker shoelace.
He carries an Universal Ant Communication Transmiter, and I pass him instructions. Meanwhile, as previously planned at precisely 14:00 hrs, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir starts pooring in all the entrances, effectively blocking them.
They are singing the Finnish National Anthem. Draupne pulls up short and disorientated, and the ground beneath her collaspes where ants have undermined it. Falling into the 20 foot deep pit, it also exposes side caves and tunnels where gladiators and animals are kept.
Spartacus is the natural enemy of the overlord moderators and he and his band converge on Draupne, freeing orcbane and giving him some guba beans.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new name I take to myself. Njarro-Huan
|
|
|
Aunt Dora Baggins
Immortal
Mar 28 2009, 3:47pm
Post #9 of 22
(1680 views)
Shortcut
|
|
You're challenging *Draupne*?!
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
You're a braver man than I. Been nice knowin' ya.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories
leleni at hotmail dot com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
|
|
orcbane
Gondor
Mar 28 2009, 9:13pm
Post #10 of 22
(1740 views)
Shortcut
|
|
But things were never in Control
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
NO...WENDAL ! IT'S A COOKBOOK !
Since the laundry basket is large, I can spin onto my back, and kick my feet upwards, sending Draupne flying forwards. She was idly holding the Pez dispenser in her mouth like a hobbit pipe & in the fall it has become logded in her throat. She tries to call for Ozzy, but only a little springy noise and deep sea diver sounds come out.
Meanwhile, up in the atmosphere....
Gort has been giving Wendal the 50 cent tour of the ship and finally shows his prized collection of Pez dispensers.
" Very nice, Gort. What a coincidence ! Draupne had a Pez dispenser back in the arena " says Wendal
" Which one.." says Gort mechanically, but unable to hide the excitement in his voice entirely
" Oh, I didn't get a long look you know, but I don't see it here I think " says Wendal
" Here is book ! " says Gort, thrusting his Pez Guidebook at Wendal. " You find ! "
Wendal looks very carefully at each picture, and then stops on one for a long time.
" This one...I am not 100% sure but I think it was this one " says Wendal
" You gotta be Klaatuing kidding me ! " gasps Gort
" Neigh " says Wendal
( they return to the arena post-haste and disembark. Gort starts stiffly chasing Draupne around saying " Here Kitty " the only Earth sayings he knows, even remotely appropriate to the situation )
Wendal makes his way over to orcbane who is watching the fillies now chasing Ozzy. At the briar patch, some of the grenades have hung up on the briars, and every time one of the Magnificent Seven tries to move, another grenade slips off the pin and BANG, sending them all diving flat again.
At this point a Worm-hole appears in the middle of the arena connecting this to the other arena continuim. But it's all distorted-like. As orcbane & Wendal watch, things start coming thru. First out are>>>
about half a dozen giant ants. Draupne, when thrown off the laundry basket, rolled over a bunch of sticky dots and is liberally coated with them. The ants, smelling Dots go after her. Finally a single smaller object comes thru.
" Stoney Curtis ! " says Wendal, his mouth dropping.
" Yep. Slave Boy " says orcbane.
" Is this about the point that we can say things are completely out of control ? " asks Wendal
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new name I take to myself. Njarro-Huan
|
|
|
orcbane
Gondor
Mar 28 2009, 9:21pm
Post #11 of 22
(1716 views)
Shortcut
|
Unless she gets Delete-Member-Happy that is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new name I take to myself. Njarro-Huan
|
|
|
EmynArnenLady
Rivendell
Mar 29 2009, 2:16am
Post #12 of 22
(1681 views)
Shortcut
|
Wow...this all seems like a really really weird acid-induced dream.....and halarious as hell!!! I don't care who wins, this is just fun to watch!!!
*grabs tub of popcorn, bag of Redvines, MilkDuds, Whopper's and a large Sprite and get's comfy on a giant pink beanbag*
This is more entertaining then watching Alice in Wonderland while doped up on Chloriseptic spray! (sore throats strink...)
Emyn Arnen Lady
|
|
|
Kelvarhin
Half-elven
Mar 29 2009, 12:55pm
Post #14 of 22
(1634 views)
Shortcut
|
but Draupne, hands down.
You don't know the secret ammo that horse comes equipped with
Warning - over washing may cause colour to fade
Kelvarhin's Universe~~~~~~~Laerasea's Travelling TORn Journal
One book to rule them all
One book to find them
One book to bring them all
And in TORn bind them
In the land of TORnadoes...where the brilliant play
|
|
|
dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Mar 31 2009, 2:24am
Post #16 of 22
(1632 views)
Shortcut
|
Well, fortunately for Draupne, the ants only like things that are sweet, so they nibble just the Dots. Gort pushes his way through them, grabs Draupne, and in squeezing her dislodges the Pez dispenser, which pops out into the cactus patch.
As Gort goes after it, he plucks the pineapple grenades off the cacti and tosses them over his shoulder, hitting an ant with each one.
Stony Curtis, in the meantime, has never ridden any kind of horse before, so Wendell obligingly takes him for a spin around the countryside.
Draupne whistles to Ozzy, and grabs his mane as he rushes by, hoisting herself Legolas-style into the saddle. She then heads straight towards you, mares in tow, while you desperately seek for the laundry-basket to hide under...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915
|
|
|
orcbane
Gondor
Mar 31 2009, 12:43pm
Post #17 of 22
(1628 views)
Shortcut
|
Knowing I am only seconds from defeat, I yodel for Wendal, and he dumps Slave Boy like a sack of potatos and comes hopping for all he's worth ($19.99). I hit a secret button and the wheels deploy on my laundry basket.
Hitching Wendal to the laundry basket I head for the wormhole with Draupne in hot persuit. Reaching the wormhole with Draupne only inches behind me, I ride thru & Draupne unable to stop in time goes in after me. I pop out into the other time continuum arena as...
and Draupne comes thru as...
'that which we do not name'.
But the arena they enter is silent and there is no sign of anything or anyone. No orcbane or Draupne, no War Elephant or Spartacus, no Mormon Tabernacle Choir... It is as if the earth opened up, swallowed everything, and then closed again.
Mounting Pokey, and shouting 'SLIGHTLY INJURED !", I charge at Draupne-Barbie, but stopping long enough to have my dashing picture painted.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new name I take to myself. Njarro-Huan
|
|
|
Idril Celebrindal
Tol Eressea
Apr 1 2009, 3:47pm
Post #18 of 22
(1638 views)
Shortcut
|
|
Why do you keep picking fights you can't win??? //
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
With caffeine, all things are possible.
The pity of Bilbo will screw up the fate of many.
|
|
|
orcbane
Gondor
Apr 1 2009, 4:21pm
Post #19 of 22
(1621 views)
Shortcut
|
|
Who said I want to win ? ;) //
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A new name I take to myself. Njarro-Huan
|
|
|
dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Apr 2 2009, 2:18am
Post #20 of 22
(1932 views)
Shortcut
|
|
*sings* Oh-oh, 'banes just wanna have fu-un... ///
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
"It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
-Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915
|
|
|
|
|
