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right, I think we've achieved full troll status now
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Jul 13 2008, 1:49pm

Post #51 of 64 (279 views)
Laughing quite out loud... [In reply to] Can't Post

...at your avatar!

magpie avatar gallery ~ soundtrack website ~ Torn Image Posting Guide


Jul 13 2008, 2:21pm

Post #52 of 64 (276 views)
I remember that from my Admin days [In reply to] Can't Post

there's a pattern that you see over and over again. Someone starts out enthusiastic, does okay for a bit, then runs into a bit of opposition over something - maybe from another poster arguing against their views, maybe an Admin saying "by the way your footer pic is too large," and reacts all out of proportion, and it goes downhill from there. And no amount of well-meaning folks trying to explain or Admins trying to guide will help; by then it's all seen as the nasty grownups imposing their stupid rules, and a tantrum ensues with lots of name-calling and deliberate provocation, until they are banned.

I wonder if our young friend has a touch of Oppositional Defiance Disorder.

Our similarities bring us to a common ground; our differences allow us to be fascinated by each other.
- Tom Robbins
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
NARF and member of Deplorable Cultus since 1967


Jul 13 2008, 2:36pm

Post #53 of 64 (268 views)
ah, yes... [In reply to] Can't Post

the good old days of board moderating. I had one almost immediately with my first mod position and it was a crash course in 'nothing is going to work - it's all going down in flames'. The went all the way to 'seeking revenge'.

It has made me very wary at the first sign of trouble. I think a good mod is worth their weight in gold (and all our mods are) and I wouldn't want the job for all the gold in the world. Not nearly enough patience. Well, I do have lots of patience for people who are reasonable, want to do the right thing or want to learn. But if someone takes an attitude I pretty much right them off almost immediately. A mod has to have more patience than that. :-)

Actually, I've seen this oppositional defiant behavior in people who have corresponded with me by email regarding the soundtrack. Things go just fine until I oppose them in some way: I don't do what they want or they won't do what I ask (in terms of how they treat or interact with me). It's this trait: mean and hateful talking when upset that gets me. It's like you're in a conversation that seems to be escalating somewhat and wham! - out of left field a really deliberately hurtful thing gets hurled at you. I'm going to keep this disorder in mind so as to take the sting out of those barbs the next time they come my way.

magpie avatar gallery ~ soundtrack website ~ Torn Image Posting Guide


Jul 13 2008, 2:48pm

Post #54 of 64 (326 views)
Thanks everyone [In reply to] Can't Post

for putting this in perspective.

And giving me new understanding and respect for our amazing admins!


...and the sails were drawn up, and the wind blew,
and slowly the ship slipped away down the long grey firth;
and the light of the glass of Galadriel that Frodo bore
glimmered and was lost.


Jul 13 2008, 3:41pm

Post #55 of 64 (276 views)
woulda been cute, though! LOL. [In reply to] Can't Post

(And they don't all have to go as far as sil to have my undying affection.)

I'm envisioning South Pacific as staged by Torn-guys all singing "There is Nothing Like a Dame". With a bunch of coconuts strategically placed on, you know, strategic areas!


But you're right, they have my undying affection for their responses, too.


"an seileachan"

Pooh began to feel a little more comfortable, because when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.

Eowyn of Penns Woods

Jul 13 2008, 4:04pm

Post #56 of 64 (301 views)
I've learned [In reply to] Can't Post

that age means nothing. On another board, we don't allow any minors...yet plenty of late 30s & 40-somethings displayed the same pattern of behavior until they were banned. [And there was no question of pretending to be of age----not when you've been seen at moots, anyway!] It still happens occasionally with some of the older members. We knew up front that a couple people had been diagnosed with a disorder, but others just acted like nasty Middle School girls who never grew up. [I can't tolerate that in a grown woman, and I won't put up with cliques of that ilk!]

Fortunately, the young people of TORn tend to be more mature than that. *sigh*

Forum Admin / Moderator

Jul 13 2008, 7:57pm

Post #57 of 64 (287 views)
There is no way. [In reply to] Can't Post

When it comes to boys (of any age) being embarrassed at hanging out with "girls", there's absolutely nothing the girls can do to make them less embarrassed, because it's the mere fact of their existence and proximity that's uncool. And it's even worse when it's teenage boys and women old enough to be their mothers! ShockedShockedShocked

It upsets all their notions of independence and masculinity, which at certain stages are pretty hazy about what they are supposed to be, and therefore largely defined by loud assertions of what they aren't - in this case, "femine". Laugh

They just have to grow up for a while first.


"Of all faces those of our familiares are the ones both most difficult to play fantastic tricks with, and most difficult really to see with fresh attention. They have become like the things which once attracted us by their glitter, or their colour, or their shape, and we laid hands on them, and then locked them in our hoard, acquired them, and acquiring ceased to look at them.
Creative fantasy, because it is mainly trying to do something else [make something new], may open your hoard and let all the locked things fly away like cage-birds. The gems all turn into flowers or flames, and you will be warned that all you had (or knew) was dangerous and potent, not really effectively chained, free and wild; no more yours than they were you."
-On Fairy Stories

(This post was edited by Silverlode on Jul 13 2008, 7:58pm)


Jul 14 2008, 3:03am

Post #58 of 64 (236 views)
Me too [In reply to] Can't Post

Was away most of the weekend, only found out when I popped in here. Although I did "see" his response to my comment in Arena, I decided not to respond, felt it wasn't worth it.

And he was wrong on another point, if he thinks that only "boys/men" are into Star Wars. I, for one, had a successful Star Wars site for many years. Only killed it when twits like him started popping up all over the place, behaving as if they had sole ownership. And many of the other webmasters in the Star Wars universe were also female. *giggling* Wouldn't that have shocked him, he wouldn't even be able to hide out in Star Wars from us icky girls Wink

Valinor, O Valinor
Andav yny hyarya
Tumna y nyna minya fa
An Valinor, liss Eldamar

Kelvarhin's Universe
In the land of TORnadoes...where the brilliant play (with thanks to grammaboodawg :) )
Is TORn...Is Good

Aunt Dora Baggins

Jul 14 2008, 4:54am

Post #59 of 64 (240 views)
I suppose that's why [In reply to] Can't Post

this upset him so much. I just couldn't help myself. *tries to look guilty*

"For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century."
"A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories

leleni at hotmail dot com

Peredhil lover

Jul 14 2008, 5:10am

Post #60 of 64 (234 views)
But ... Auntie Dora, [In reply to] Can't Post

if you should feel guilty about it, then I should, too. I've howled with laughter about that! With absolutely no regard to his feelings! (Even if he couldn't see it anyway). It was priceless! Evil

I do not suffer from LotR obsession - I enjoy every minute of it.

Alassa Eruvande

Jul 14 2008, 5:37am

Post #61 of 64 (236 views)
I sense a big sister/little brother dynamic. [In reply to] Can't Post

Big sister is the originator of the nick and has been posting nicely. She loves LOTR.
Little brother loves Star Wars.
Big sister and Little brother get in a fight at home, possibly about which is better, LOTR or SW.
Little brother says, "I'll show her," and proceeds to hijack her nick on her beloved LOTR site and act like a troll, thus getting her banned.
Big sister can no longer visit her beloved LOTR site; Little brother wins. This one.

Having survived a Big sister/Little brother dynamic myself (with two little brothers!), I can totally see this happening. Hopefully, they'll outgrow it. We did.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

And suddenly the Ainur saw afar off a light, as it were a cloud with a living heart of flame.


Jul 14 2008, 8:56am

Post #62 of 64 (224 views)
Big sister [In reply to] Can't Post

Are you there??

Your theory makes a lot of sense to me.
So do the ideas suggested by others about people who can't cope and lash out when challenged.

We certainly see it all round these parts.


Jul 14 2008, 1:38pm

Post #63 of 64 (228 views)
In my head-scenario... big sister is at camp // [In reply to] Can't Post


magpie avatar gallery ~ soundtrack website ~ Torn Image Posting Guide


Jul 17 2008, 3:06am

Post #64 of 64 (260 views)
Priceless [In reply to] Can't Post


"The city of Osgiliath has been reclaimed, FOR GONDOR!"

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