|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Dec 20 2022, 6:15pm
Post #1 of 44
(2531 views)
Shortcut
|
|
It's the LOTR Christmas Carol Challenge!
|
Can't Post
|
|
Many festive greetings, everyone! Let's change-up the season by bringing a little Middle-earth to our usual carols - write your own parody, post it here, and share the laughs!
I've pulled this one out of my files to kick us off:
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm tellin' you why
Santa Claus, he has the
One Ring
He's mutating Elves
He's building a tower
He's flaming an eye
He's loving the power
Santa Claus, he has the
One Ring
He sees you when you're creeping
He lures you with your fear
He knows if you've been bad or good
And he has nine Fell Reindeer
So!
You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm tellin' you why
Santa Claus, he has the
One Ring
So how about yours?
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Fantasy novel - The Arcanist's Tattoo
My LOTR fan-fiction
|
|
|
noWizardme
Half-elven
Dec 20 2022, 6:49pm
Post #2 of 44
(2434 views)
Shortcut
|
At Christmas at the Prancing Pony, they commemmorate Frodo's eventful visit with this song
(it goes to the tune of "The Little Drummer Boy" ):
Well Mister Frodo's prank made Butterbur glum,
And all those broken plates cost Butterbur some
Revealing the One Ring was pretty darn dumb
You might have thought that too much Butterbur's rum
Was in Baggins's tum
That son of a gun
So as to make him loudly fall on his bum
When he should've kept schtum
Not all our saviours are as small as Tom Thumb
That mystery man we thought was just Ranger scum
He would our rightful King quite quickly become
Who knew- without his pals we'd quickly succumb
Under ruffians thumbs
Turning Bree into slums?
Don't judge appearences - a good rule of thumb
Whatever may come.
This is a recycle, but perhaps you'll forgive 'greatest hits' (even the least of us must logically have a 'greatest', even if that is 'least worst'....)
~~~~~~
"I am not made for querulous pests." Frodo 'Spooner' Baggins.
|
|
|
noWizardme
Half-elven
Dec 20 2022, 6:53pm
Post #3 of 44
(2435 views)
Shortcut
|
And may I also have....
Earendil (Party remix) [based on a true story!]
Earendil liked Grand Marnier
And tarrying from voyaging
He held a lunch and made some punch
Each guest to put a bottle in.
Some cider won at County Fair
A jigger of some lemonade
A bottle fashioned like a swan
Of ouzo from some holiday
Some sherry brewed in ancient casks
Some chardonnay he ladled in
Some port that had a lot of dregs
But never mind, it all went in;
Some calvados like golden corn
Some porter hued like ebony
Some merlot made in Aragon
A mix of rum and old brandy
Absurd (but still, it's salient),
Laboratory ethanol,
"Absinthe next!" Earendil said.
The punch smoked and turned emerald
[There should be another 6 long verses, but it's best to know your limits. And anyway it's appropriate that things get blurry until....]
And over Middle-earth time passed
The punch was drunk and heads were sore
And great elf-lords and elven-maids
Were found passed out upon the floor.
Earendil took a mighty oath
Till Moon should fade he'd shut his bar
And pass, and mix his drinks no more
on Hither Shores, where mortals are
He ever had dark glasses on
A stomach that could never rest
No fizzy pill could ever jar
The ]hangover of Westernesse
So there you are - glad I got the emerald in; it's important, apparently.
(This originally appeared here, and was an appropriately headache-inducing thing to work out  )
~~~~~~
"I am not made for querulous pests." Frodo 'Spooner' Baggins.
|
|
|
Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Dec 20 2022, 7:12pm
Post #4 of 44
(2428 views)
Shortcut
|
there were so many rhymes to 'um'?
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Fantasy novel - The Arcanist's Tattoo
My LOTR fan-fiction
(This post was edited by Ataahua on Dec 21 2022, 1:27am)
|
|
|
Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Dec 20 2022, 7:12pm
Post #5 of 44
(2422 views)
Shortcut
|
|
OMG, my stomach's turning just reading this. :D /
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Fantasy novel - The Arcanist's Tattoo
My LOTR fan-fiction
|
|
|
Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Dec 20 2022, 7:30pm
Post #6 of 44
(2431 views)
Shortcut
|
|
I thought I'd better come up with a new one :)
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
Dwarf-men roasting on an open fire
Bert here nipping at your nose
Cries of terror being sung as a choir
As William slices off their clothes
Everybody knows a roasted Dwarf and some mistletoe
Help make the season bright
Eyeball skewers on charcoal aglow
Will start our party off right
We know that Sauron’s on his way
His hordes of Orcs are ready to slay
And every mother’s child is gonna spy
To see if Nazgul really know how to fly
And so as we stoke this brightly burning blaze
For courses from one to ninety-two
Although it’s been said many times, many ways
The leg’s for me – not you.
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Fantasy novel - The Arcanist's Tattoo
My LOTR fan-fiction
|
|
|
Ethel Duath
Half-elven
Dec 20 2022, 8:44pm
Post #7 of 44
(2431 views)
Shortcut
|
I'm dreaming of a White Wizard,
Just like the one we used to know
Who made tree tops whisper,
And Elf-friends shiver
To hear orc-steps on the go . . .
And I'm dreaming of a White Wizard
The one who puts the orcs to flight!
Let us all his praises recite,
And may all our Mithrandirs be white.
(This post was edited by Ataahua on Dec 20 2022, 9:57pm)
|
|
|
Ethel Duath
Half-elven
Dec 20 2022, 8:46pm
Post #9 of 44
(2421 views)
Shortcut
|
will never, ever be the same!
|
|
|
noWizardme
Half-elven
Dec 20 2022, 9:11pm
Post #10 of 44
(2417 views)
Shortcut
|
~~~~~~
"I am not made for querulous pests." Frodo 'Spooner' Baggins.
|
|
|
noWizardme
Half-elven
Dec 20 2022, 9:15pm
Post #11 of 44
(2431 views)
Shortcut
|
|
12 Days of Christmas (to do together)
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
My Cousin Hal's big walking tree.
On the second day of Christmas...
(now you!)
Lyrics reference here
~~~~~~
"I am not made for querulous pests." Frodo 'Spooner' Baggins.
(This post was edited by noWizardme on Dec 20 2022, 9:16pm)
|
|
|
noWizardme
Half-elven
Dec 20 2022, 9:17pm
Post #12 of 44
(2415 views)
Shortcut
|
Admins! There's a troll on the loose! :) //
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
~~~~~~
"I am not made for querulous pests." Frodo 'Spooner' Baggins.
|
|
|
noWizardme
Half-elven
Dec 20 2022, 9:32pm
Post #13 of 44
(2419 views)
Shortcut
|
|
oh? were you at that party then? :)
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
BTW The true story is a combination of:- a (sadly now deceased) friend of mine, Cpt John Pullin, who held a party in his army days: the game started up of everything anyone brought had to go in the punch. Those foolish enough to drink it (Captain John abstained) were easily identifiable on parade the next day (if they turned up)... and
- A biology professor who would always buy an extra bottle of 96% v/v laboratory ethanol as a starter for the punch required for the garden party he'd throw every summer....
This party season, stay off the punch unless you know who made it and with what, friends
Honourable mention also to this lunacy I accidentely started "Free drinks for the Elven Kings under the sky..."As with nearly all good things on these boards, it's the replies that make it...
~~~~~~
"I am not made for querulous pests." Frodo 'Spooner' Baggins.
|
|
|
Ethel Duath
Half-elven
Dec 20 2022, 9:42pm
Post #14 of 44
(2418 views)
Shortcut
|
with the spacing an line--I"ve never seen anything so unlike what I actually posted ever before!
But thag you very buch!
*Goes off to ask admins to unscramble.*
|
|
|
Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Dec 20 2022, 10:00pm
Post #15 of 44
(2415 views)
Shortcut
|
|
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
Two dragon fireworks
and my cousin Hal's big walking tree.
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Fantasy novel - The Arcanist's Tattoo
My LOTR fan-fiction
|
|
|
Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Dec 20 2022, 10:02pm
Post #16 of 44
(2411 views)
Shortcut
|
to the grey Mithrandir personally - more crotchety, more fun - but I'll take a white version in a pinch. 
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Fantasy novel - The Arcanist's Tattoo
My LOTR fan-fiction
|
|
|
Altaira
Superuser
Dec 21 2022, 2:56am
Post #18 of 44
(2406 views)
Shortcut
|
|
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
Three Elven rings
Two dragon fireworks
and my cousin Hal's big walking tree.
(yes, I took one of the easy ones)
(This post was edited by Altaira on Dec 21 2022, 2:57am)
|
|
|
SirDennisC
Half-elven
Dec 21 2022, 4:17am
Post #19 of 44
(2404 views)
Shortcut
|
|
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
Four Hobbits trudging
Three Elven rings
Two dragon fireworks
and my cousin Hal's big walking tree.
|
|
|
CMackintosh
Rivendell
Dec 21 2022, 6:49am
Post #20 of 44
(2391 views)
Shortcut
|
Five Wizards visiting
Four Hobbits trudging
Three Elven rings
Two dragon fireworks
and my cousin Hal's big walking tree.
(This post was edited by CMackintosh on Dec 21 2022, 6:51am)
|
|
|
Lissuin
Valinor
Dec 21 2022, 9:17am
Post #21 of 44
(2374 views)
Shortcut
|
|
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
Six films a-playing,
Five Wizards visiting,
Four Hobbits trudging,
Three Elven rings,
Two dragon fireworks,
and my cousin Hal's big walking tree.
|
|
|
noWizardme
Half-elven
Dec 21 2022, 10:14am
Post #22 of 44
(2369 views)
Shortcut
|
I have to "Preview Post" to see "What Does The 'Fox Say".
Sometimes I have to insert lots of line breaks to get the line spacing I want.
~~~~~~
"I am not made for querulous pests." Frodo 'Spooner' Baggins.
|
|
|
noWizardme
Half-elven
Dec 21 2022, 10:15am
Post #23 of 44
(2369 views)
Shortcut
|
Ain't seen him in ages - that's why we call him "Myth round here"...
~~~~~~
"I am not made for querulous pests." Frodo 'Spooner' Baggins.
|
|
|
noWizardme
Half-elven
Dec 21 2022, 10:19am
Post #24 of 44
(2372 views)
Shortcut
|
|
On the seventh day of Christmas,
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
On the seventh day of Christmas,
My true love sent to me
Seven Sams a-sinking, *
Six films a-playing,
Five Wizards visiting,
Four Hobbits trudging,
Three Elven rings,
Two dragon fireworks,
and my cousin Hal's big walking tree.
*Tried swimming, but sheer willpower doesn't make up for lack of practice
~~~~~~
"I am not made for querulous pests." Frodo 'Spooner' Baggins.
|
|
|
Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Dec 21 2022, 9:14pm
Post #25 of 44
(2351 views)
Shortcut
|
|
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me,
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
Eight Elves a-singing
Seven Sams a-sinking,
Six films a-playing,
Five Wizards visiting,
Four Hobbits trudging,
Three Elven rings,
Two dragon fireworks,
and my cousin Hal's big walking tree.
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Fantasy novel - The Arcanist's Tattoo
My LOTR fan-fiction
|
|
|
|
|
Bravo!//
[
1
