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Meanwhile, at the GDT Personnel Office...
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weaver
Half-elven

May 15 2008, 11:29pm

Post #1 of 113 (921 views)
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Meanwhile, at the GDT Personnel Office... Can't Post

All this Hobbit talk has me thinking of what it would be like if the book characters were real, and GDT had to interview each of them to be in the film, or just to get to know them better.

Perhaps they would need to fill out an application/personal interest form first, which might have questions like this on it...
  1. Name:
  2. Address:
  3. Career Goal:
  4. Prior Occupation:
  5. Career Highlights:
  6. Hobbies:
  7. Pets:
  8. Travel Interests:
  9. Favorite Book:
  10. Favorite Film:
  11. Weight and Height:
  12. Hair Color:
  13. Race:
  14. Mode of Transportation:
  15. Pet Peeve:
  16. Top Three Strengths:
  17. Top Three Weaknesses:
  18. Role Model:
  19. What you'd like to be remembered for:
  20. Favorite quote or saying:
  21. Why GDT should hire you:
We had a similar thread to this a long time ago and the answers were really entertaining, once folks got into the spirit of things.

So, if you want to play along, pick a character from the Hobbit, or one that might work in the Bridge film, and fill out an application for him/her/it.

Oh, and if you have a question or two you think I missed, feel free to add it to your "application".

Thanks to all who reply!

Weaver



Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


May 16 2008, 12:25am

Post #2 of 113 (305 views)
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Fun! [In reply to] Can't Post

  1. Name: Teleporno Ė prefer being called Celeborn, though.
  2. Address: Third tree on the left, Caras Galadhon.
  3. Career Goal: Autonomous rule of any part of Lothlorien, no matter how small. Even being sole ruler of a wind-stripped sapling with growth potential would be a step up.
  4. Prior Occupation: Eternal spousal sidekick.
  5. Career Highlights: My honeymoon. Then I realised what I was in for.
  6. Hobbies: Stand-up comedian under the name GiggleMeister.
  7. Pets: I think thatís me.
  8. Travel Interests: Anywhere! Please!
  9. Favorite Book: Men Who Love Women Too Much.
  10. Favorite Film: The Mighty Ducks.
  11. Weight and Height: Yes, I have both.
  12. Hair Color: Silver-esque with moonbeam highlights.
  13. Race: Leg 8 at Trentham- put a $5 place bet on horse number two.
  14. Mode of Transportation: Feet.
  15. Pet Peeve: I think thatís me again.
  16. Top Three Strengths: Modesty, decorum and extremely good manners.
  17. Top Three Weaknesses: Shiny objects, mirrors and any other reflective surfaces.
  18. Role Model: Fabio.
  19. What you'd like to be remembered for: My quiet wisdom and modesty for allowing Galadriel the stronger hand in ruling Lothlorien. It was all my idea. Seriously.
  20. Favorite quote or saying: ďIím the king of the world!Ē
  21. Why GDT should hire you: Because after two Ages of practise, I will be the most unobtrusive assistant youíll ever have.


Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


Patty
Immortal


May 16 2008, 12:53am

Post #3 of 113 (320 views)
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This is neat... [In reply to] Can't Post

  • Name: Gandalf the Grey/White

  • Address: Here and there...

  • Career Goal: To get through with my sojourn in Middle-earth so I can return to Valinor

  • Prior Occupation: Undercover bringer of comfort to the elves

  • Career Highlights: Being appointed to go to Middle-earth by one of the Valinoreans at the top

  • Hobbies: Old Toby Smoking, thomping spineless kings upside the head, and eagle-back riding

  • Pets: Hobbits. Oh, they're not pets?

  • Travel Interests: Still looking for a shipboard romance when I go back over the sea

  • Favorite Book: Garden Gnomes and More Garden Gnomes

  • Favorite Film: What else? War and Peace

  • Weight and Height: Big enough, big boyCool

  • Hair Color: doesn't matter, it's always a bad hair day. Grey or White to match my mood

  • Race: Whatever you want it to be in order to get the job

  • Mode of Transportation: thoroughbred horse or eagle

  • Pet Peeve: Orcs with bad breath

  • Top Three Strengths: I do subtle magic, unlike Saruman who is, after all, a showoff, I don't need to sleep, and I'm immortal, so I won't die before the film gets made

  • Top Three Weaknesses: I talk to myself (cause I think I'm the smartest person around ) I smoke too much, I talk in riddles--well, that can be a strength if I don't want to commit myself

  • Role Model: Aule

  • What you'd like to be remembered for: Convincing Frodo that that whole Mordor trip was a good idea

  • Favorite quote or saying: "All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you." Since I'm immortal, that's like, you know, a long time.


  • Hanging out with the Lonely Isle elves.


    Annael
    Half-elven


    May 16 2008, 1:44am

    Post #4 of 113 (293 views)
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    Bombur [In reply to] Can't Post

    1. Name: Bombur
    2. Address: Blue Mountains
    3. Career Goal: mining
    4. Prior Occupation: mining
    5. Career Highlights: mining for gold
    6. Hobbies: eating, cooking, mining
    7. Pets: I have owned several canaries . . .
    8. Travel Interests: would like to see the Lonely Mountain
    9. Favorite Book: And Don't Call Me Grumpy! by A Dwarf
    10. Favorite Film: Wizard of Ossiriand
    11. Weight and Height: 120 (cm and kg)
    12. Hair Color: brownish-grey, except when I wash it
    13. Race: Dwarf
    14. Mode of Transportation: very large pony
    15. Pet Peeve: fat jokes
    16. Top Three Strengths: mining, delving, digging
    17. Top Three Weaknesses: fear of spiders, fear of eagles, don't like Elves
    18. Role Model: Durin
    19. What you'd like to be remembered for: mining
    20. Favorite quote or saying: "What chord do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat miner."
    21. Why GDT should hire you: every movie needs a overweight comic relief sidekick, right?




    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain


    * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
    NARF and member of Deplorable Cultus since 1967


    dernwyn
    Forum Admin / Moderator


    May 16 2008, 1:54am

    Post #5 of 113 (295 views)
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    Living on the edge! [In reply to] Can't Post

    Okay, here's one for someone who was only given one brief mention in The Hobbit:

    1. Name: Radagast the Brown

    2. Address: Edge of Mirkwood, just northwest of Dol Guldur.

    3. Career Goal: To be able to converse with every creature in Middle-earth.

    4. Prior Occupation: Birdwatcher. The rumor that ManwŽ sent me to Middle-earth because he was annoyed by my constantly saying "The Eagles are coming! The Eagels are coming!" is totally unfounded.

    5. Career Highlights: Dispatching animal rescuers.

    6. Hobbies: Dabbling in animal transformation.

    7. Pets: Yes, I pets the animals, if they are amenable to my touching them.

    8. Travel Interests: I have little interest in journeying to uncouth lands.

    9. Favorite Book: Any in the "A Field Guide To..." series.

    10. Favorite Film: Dr. Doolittle (Rex Harrison version)

    11. Weight and Height: Stooped or unstooped? Before or after long journeys?

    12. Hair Color: Dirty brown. Very dirty brown.

    13. Race: No, I prefer to walk.

    14. Mode of Transportation: Feet, unless I can catch an Eagle Express.

    15. Pet Peeve: Loud parties at Dol Guldur - those orgies would wake the dead.

    16. Top Three Strengths: Multilingual, trusted by animals, able to faithfully convey
    messages.

    17. Top Three Weaknesses: Prefer talking to animals, trusted by evil wizards, unable to see through deceitful messages.

    18. Roll Model: Usually baguette, but I do like an occasional croissant.

    19. What you'd like to be remembered for: It is a little-known fact that I taught Beorn how to shapeshift into a bear.

    20. Favorite quote or saying: Never come between a Bear and his honey. I understand that Angmar used a variation of this at the Battle of Pelennor Fields.

    21. Why GDT should hire you: Whoever plays Beorn will need someone to teach him how to shapeshift into a bear. I, of course, specialize in that. Of course, there is no guarantee that he could later be returned to his normal shape...


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "I desired dragons with a profound desire"

    "It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
    -Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915


    Kelvarhin
    Half-elven


    May 16 2008, 5:11am

    Post #6 of 113 (276 views)
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    After the conversation with generalcobra [In reply to] Can't Post

    Name: Spider No 3
    Address: Third web from the left
    Career Goal: To be scarier than mom (Shelob)
    Prior Occupation: junior Silk spinner
    Career Highlights: catching 12 dwarves for dinner
    Hobbies: does web design count?
    Pets: can I include the ones I ate? No, well none then
    Travel Interests: Swinging from a thread
    Favorite Book: Otto the spider Ė heís hilarious
    Favorite Film: Arachnaphobia, never laugh SO much
    Weight and Height: BIG
    Hair Color: Black sort of
    Race: yep all over the trees
    Mode of Transportation: eight legs
    Pet Peeve: Pets that escape my web
    Top Three Strengths: Umm well my stinger is pretty good, Iím excellent at web design, can run around in trees pretty well too.
    Top Three Weaknesses: not too good at catching and keeping dwarves, afraid of swords and keep tripping over my mandibles.
    Role Model: Ungoliant!! She makes Ma suck!
    What you'd like to be remembered for: My elaborate web designs
    Favorite quote or saying: ďIím gonna eat you little elfyĒ
    Why GDT should hire you: Hey how many giant spiders do YOU know???


    There he stood
    Proud and solemn
    Yet happy and gay


    weaver
    Half-elven

    May 16 2008, 6:14am

    Post #7 of 113 (243 views)
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    Eternal Spousal Sidekick -- love it!/ [In reply to] Can't Post

     

    Weaver



    weaver
    Half-elven

    May 16 2008, 6:16am

    Post #8 of 113 (230 views)
    Shortcut
    "convincing Frodo the Mordor trip was a good idea" -- you're hired!/ [In reply to] Can't Post

     

    Weaver



    weaver
    Half-elven

    May 16 2008, 6:17am

    Post #9 of 113 (219 views)
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    very clever -- this one's all "mine"..../ [In reply to] Can't Post

     

    Weaver



    weaver
    Half-elven

    May 16 2008, 6:18am

    Post #10 of 113 (226 views)
    Shortcut
    "roll model" -- that got a rise out of me...// [In reply to] Can't Post

     

    Weaver



    weaver
    Half-elven

    May 16 2008, 6:20am

    Post #11 of 113 (226 views)
    Shortcut
    I bet GDT could use a good web designer like this!/ [In reply to] Can't Post

     

    Weaver



    sador
    Half-elven

    May 16 2008, 7:19am

    Post #12 of 113 (271 views)
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    Otho Sackville-Baggins [In reply to] Can't Post

    1. Name: Otho Sackville.
    2. Address: Bag End, Hobbiton. At the moment, the place is taken by a tramp who masquerades as my late cousin, so please mail me at POB 102, Michel Delving.
    3. Career Goal: Industrializing this shabby backwaterish place. It might be a long job, which only my son will complete. Who knows?
    4. Prior Occupation: My late and lamented cousin, Bilbo Baggins. Er, didn't you mean prior occupation of the house?
    5. Career Highlights: Organizing and financing Grubb, Grubb and Burrowes, auctioneers. We made quite a tidy bit of money, by redifining old useless objects as 'antiquarian artifices', and starting the mathom-craze.
    6. Hobbies: Sleeping partnerships. You make the money, I do the sleeping.
    7. Pets: Nah, I would be a dog-kicker.
    8. Travel Interests: I heard down South, if one follows the Greenway long enough - one comes upon an old fortress, where they say an old wizard lives who's into industry. He's also said to be far more powerful than that dirty grey wanderer who is a friend of the usurper in Bag-End.
    9. Favorite Book: Das Kapital (if only I could read it!)
    10. Favorite Film: The LOTR trilogy, of course (fluttering eyes at the interviewer)
    11. Weight and Height: Three feet high. I know I'm a bit overweight right now, but trust me - once I get the job, I'll get into shape. Trust me!
    12. Hair Color: Light Brown. I'm genetically improved, you know - my son is actually sandy!
    13. Race: Fallohide (I know people say I'm a Harfoot, but don't you believe them).
    14. Mode of Transportation: I walk. My wife drives a cart and pony.
    15. Pet Peeve: Acuiring new silver spoons.
    16. Top Three Strengths: I'm a teetotaller - the only one in the Shire! Connections with the Bracegirdles and Hornblowers. Decisiveness.
    17. Top Three Weaknesses: Haven't got any.
    18. Role Model: A self-made hobbit is his own role model.
    19. What you'd like to be remembered for: My method for grinding more and faster.
    20. Favorite quote or saying: "We are all friends here. Or should be."
    21. Why GDT should hire you: After the carachter-besmirching PJ did me in the last movies, brazenly taking one side of the old feud, and portaying my wife and me in a highly biased way - it's the least GDT could do to make amends.


    "We are all friends here. Or should be" - Gandalf

    (This post was edited by sador on May 16 2008, 7:21am)


    Sunflower
    Valinor

    May 16 2008, 10:15am

    Post #13 of 113 (219 views)
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    *Wipes tears from eyes*..Kelharvin....you ROCK. [In reply to] Can't Post

     


    dernwyn
    Forum Admin / Moderator


    May 16 2008, 10:28am

    Post #14 of 113 (221 views)
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    *gasp* [In reply to] Can't Post

    A Hobbit teetotaler? Now that's definitely despicable! Shocked


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "I desired dragons with a profound desire"

    "It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
    -Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915


    dernwyn
    Forum Admin / Moderator


    May 16 2008, 11:13am

    Post #15 of 113 (257 views)
    Shortcut
    At yeast, you liked it! // [In reply to] Can't Post

     


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    "I desired dragons with a profound desire"

    "It struck me last night that you might write a fearfully good romantic drama, with as much of the 'supernatural' as you cared to introduce. Have you ever thought of it?"
    -Geoffrey B. Smith, letter to JRR Tolkien, 1915


    AlassŽa Eruvande
    Valinor


    May 16 2008, 12:47pm

    Post #16 of 113 (205 views)
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    *mods up* [In reply to] Can't Post

    "A flat miner" LOL!

    Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

    And suddenly the Ainur saw afar off a light, as it were a cloud with a living heart of flame.


    AlassŽa Eruvande
    Valinor


    May 16 2008, 12:49pm

    Post #17 of 113 (195 views)
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    D'ough! // [In reply to] Can't Post

     

    Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

    And suddenly the Ainur saw afar off a light, as it were a cloud with a living heart of flame.


    sador
    Half-elven

    May 16 2008, 1:15pm

    Post #18 of 113 (217 views)
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    ''They're all closed,' said Robin. 'The Chief doesn't hold with beer' [In reply to] Can't Post

    Shirrif Smallburrow, 'The Scouring of the Shire'

    "We are all friends here. Or should be" - Gandalf


    NottaSackville
    Tol Eressea

    May 16 2008, 1:28pm

    Post #19 of 113 (285 views)
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    Now, donut go starting a pun thread! \\ [In reply to] Can't Post

     


    weaver
    Half-elven

    May 16 2008, 1:47pm

    Post #20 of 113 (186 views)
    Shortcut
    Rye not? // [In reply to] Can't Post

     

    Weaver



    Darkstone
    Immortal


    May 16 2008, 1:50pm

    Post #21 of 113 (241 views)
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    Bob [In reply to] Can't Post

    1. Name: Bob the Troll
    2. Address: 103 Primrose Lane, Trollshaws, Arnor 90210
    3. Career Goal: Living in Pago Pago with a wealthy supermodel who thinks Iím the greatest thing since sliced bread.
    4. Prior Occupation: Trollbooth attendant
    5. Career Highlights: Eating little Asian compacts like peanuts.
    6. Hobbies: Making inflammatory posts on random forums.
    7. Pets: Crunchy!
    8. Travel Interests: Famous Troll Roads of America
    9. Favorite Book: For Whom the Bell Trolls
    10. Favorite Film: Shrek, Shrek II, Shrek the Third, Shrek Goes Fourth, and whatever the heck Shrek drek is next.
    11. Weight and Height: Iím not fat, Iím fluffy.
    12. Hair Color: Head: Brown and straight; Back: Black and curly
    13. Race: Thatís mainly how I get my meals.
    14. Mode of Transportation: Two feets and ten toes. (Four on right, six on left.)
    15. Pet Peeve: Food that talks back
    16. Top Three Strengths: Left armpit, right armpit, breath
    17. Top Three Weaknesses: A bad memory, a bad memory, and, er, I canít remember the last one
    18. Role Model: JRR Trolkien. He talk pretty!
    19. What you'd like to be remembered for: Symmetrical coprolites
    20. Favorite quote or saying: ďMe smash!Ē
    21. Why GDT should hire you: For health reasons. (His.)

    ******************************************
    The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.Ē



    (This post was edited by Darkstone on May 16 2008, 1:52pm)


    weaver
    Half-elven

    May 16 2008, 1:52pm

    Post #22 of 113 (197 views)
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    prior occupation -- ha! [In reply to] Can't Post

    Not sure you get the job, but this is awesomely clever!

    Weaver



    grammaboodawg
    Immortal


    May 16 2008, 2:04pm

    Post #23 of 113 (183 views)
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    One bun after another // [In reply to] Can't Post

     



    sample sample
    Trust him... The Hobbit is coming!

    "Barney Snow was here." ~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."


    TORn's Observations Lists


    grammaboodawg
    Immortal


    May 16 2008, 2:23pm

    Post #24 of 113 (231 views)
    Shortcut
    Gaffer Gamgee [In reply to] Can't Post

    1. Name: Hamfast Gamgee
    2. Address: Number 3 Bagshot Row, Hobbiton, The Shire, Westfarthing
    3. Career Goal: Gardener
    4. Prior Occupation: Toddler
    5. Career Highlights: Garden keeper for the Baggins Family over 50 years
    6. Hobbies: Taters
    7. Pets: slugs and beetles
    8. Travel Interests: Never
    9. Favorite Book: One that's not there
    10. Favorite Film: morning dew
    11. Weight and Height: As tall as the top of my head and as round as my belt
    12. Hair Color: grey
    13. Race: I'd rather walk, thank you
    14. Mode of Transportation: My feet
    15. Pet Peeve: Sandyman
    16. Top Three Strengths: Taters, carrots, verge-trimming
    17. Top Three Weaknesses: Learning letters, repressing reproach, taking messages
    18. Role Model: Holman the greenhanded and Bilbo Baggins
    19. What you'd like to be remembered for: Taters
    20. Favorite quote or saying: It's the job that never started as takes longest to finish.
    21. Why GDT should hire you: *eyes Mr. del Toro* As I said, It's the job that never started as takes longest to finish. So let's get on with it!




    sample sample
    Trust him... The Hobbit is coming!

    "Barney Snow was here." ~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."


    TORn's Observations Lists


    grammaboodawg
    Immortal


    May 16 2008, 2:26pm

    Post #25 of 113 (179 views)
    Shortcut
    Bwahaha! Taught Beorn... :D // [In reply to] Can't Post

     



    sample sample
    Trust him... The Hobbit is coming!

    "Barney Snow was here." ~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."


    TORn's Observations Lists

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