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Eight Years of Tolkien parodies and other outrages

noWizardme
Half-elven


Fri, 6:47pm

Post #1 of 8 (241 views)
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Eight Years of Tolkien parodies and other outrages Can't Post

Yes, I have been doing that occasionally for coming up to eight years now. Here's a compilation, if anyone might find them cheering:

https://drive.google.com/...WCI/view?usp=sharing

Other mayhem that I instigated but didn't do alone include this collection of Tolkien 'Tom Swifties' http://newboards.theonering.net/...i?post=936024#936024

And the suggestions of acts for a Middle-earth Music festival -

2018 version http://newboards.theonering.net/...i?post=943909#943909
2013 version http://newboards.theonering.net/...i?post=605281#605281

~~~~~~
"You were exceedingly clever once, but unfortunately none of your friends noticed as they were too busy being attacked by an octopus."
-from How To Tell If You Are In A J.R.R. Tolkien Book, by Austin Gilkeson, in 'The Toast', 2016 https://the-toast.net/...-a-jrr-tolkien-book/


(This post was edited by noWizardme on Fri, 6:57pm)


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Fri, 8:17pm

Post #2 of 8 (195 views)
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Nice collection! [In reply to] Can't Post

You've put a lot of work into that. Well done, noWiz. Smile

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Fantasy novel - The Arcanist's Tattoo

My LOTR fan-fiction


Lissuin
Valinor


Fri, 10:11pm

Post #3 of 8 (184 views)
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"Thanks for the Memory, noWiz" - [In reply to] Can't Post

Bob Estel, closing act for Middle-earth Music Festival

I hope you won't mind that I've saved all 29 pages of your parodies for eternity, or there abouts, on my hard drive. There have been a lot of rainy days lately. These should, indeed, help with that. Laugh
Cheers!
Liss

HmmmmMore M-e Festival trivia:
The Hobbits as a rock band, page 28

Quote
...producer Elrond persuades them to become an all-star nine-piece, The Fellowship....
Boromir thinks the band should be a backing group for his horn solos, which leads to a further violent dispute....Artistic differences will continue to trouble The Ringbearers...Grohlum again falls off the stage and the set explodes. But that's Rock'n Roll.



noWizardme
Half-elven


Sat, 12:44pm

Post #4 of 8 (151 views)
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You're *most* welcome [In reply to] Can't Post

Big nostalga trip for me, of course, and interesting to see the parodies collected together (I realized that I hadn't kept my own notes of many of them). Putting them into a document also avoids the issue of having a whole bunch of links to goodness knows where else on these boards - e.g. (http://newboards.theonering.net/...i?post=977831#977831 )

The parodies do work fairly well as standalone items I think - unlike serious discussion where it's the interaction between posters and viewpoints that is often the interesting thing. I do recommend following the links in the document though - once in the original discussion you'll often see that there's further similar material by other members - but that didn't feel like mine to collect and collate, even if I had the time and enthusiasm

~~~~~~
"You were exceedingly clever once, but unfortunately none of your friends noticed as they were too busy being attacked by an octopus."
-from How To Tell If You Are In A J.R.R. Tolkien Book, by Austin Gilkeson, in 'The Toast', 2016 https://the-toast.net/...-a-jrr-tolkien-book/


(This post was edited by noWizardme on Sat, 12:45pm)


noWizardme
Half-elven


Sat, 7:16pm

Post #5 of 8 (125 views)
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One more? [In reply to] Can't Post

The Last Debate as a stage musical number by the Black-Eyed Peas

Aragorn (solo:)
I gotta feeling that this fight's gonna be a good fight
That this fight's gonna be a good fight
That this fight's gonna be a good, good fight

Aragorn, Eomer, elf princes and Prince Imrahil in harmony:
I gotta feeling that this fight's gonna be a good fight
That this fight's gonna be a good fight
That this fight's gonna be a good, good fight
[repeat x3, bringing in subsidiary commanders until all are singing]

Aragorn (Will-i-am solo:)
This fight's the fight
Let's give it up
I got my enímy
Let's smash them up

Go out and fight them
Fight the Red Eye
Although itís likely
Weíre all gonna die!

Gandalf (Fergie solo*):
I know that Frodo will slam-dunk that Ring
If we just give him
More time
To do that there thing

I feel sure
That the end of this here discussion
Should be Ďlet's go to Mordor
And cause a diversioní


Aragorn, Eomer, elf princes and Prince Imrahil in harmony:
Letís push our luck
Mazel Tov
All quick advancing
Letís just take off!

Old Morghul town?
We'll burn it down
Let's torch the fields
And then we'll do it again

Tutti
Let's do it, let's do it,
Let's do it,
Let's do it, and do it, and do it,
Let's live it up
And do it, and do it, and do it, do it, do it,
Let's do it,
Let's do it,
Let's do it

'Cause...
[Etc.]


Music choices - 'I Gotta Feeling', Black-Eyed Peas https://youtu.be/uSD4vsh1zDA - NB this video contains scenes of the social interaction called 'a party'. Remember those? - currently illegal or impractical in many parts of the world. Frown

~~~~~~
"You were exceedingly clever once, but unfortunately none of your friends noticed as they were too busy being attacked by an octopus."
-from How To Tell If You Are In A J.R.R. Tolkien Book, by Austin Gilkeson, in 'The Toast', 2016 https://the-toast.net/...-a-jrr-tolkien-book/


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Sun, 6:17pm

Post #6 of 8 (68 views)
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*mods up* Wow :D [In reply to] Can't Post

*bows deeply* This collection is a gift! Absolutely wonderful :D YOU ROCK! Thank you!



sample

We have been there and back again.


Join the "Tolkien Fandom Oral History Project"

TIME Google Calendar


noWizardme
Half-elven


Mon, 10:38am

Post #7 of 8 (35 views)
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Thanks! [In reply to] Can't Post

I did some more digging over the weekend, so anyone who wants it is welcome to an expanded collection ( https://drive.google.com/...cfC/view?usp=sharing ) I was pleased to find Bill the Troll as a barista serving a grumpy Smaug (that was a six subject-line challenge), and Sam Merry and Pip as Rolling Stones fans. And I'd also forgotten about the mini-sagas...

The thing that has eluded recovery so far is that I think we had a go at doing a parody of Bilbo's song 'Earandil', about somebody making a lethal punchbowl. It started 'Earandil liked Grand Marnier....' and presumably everyone who comes to the party adds some other sort of drink, until they can't remember what they're there for. But if we actually did it (as opposed to me thinking it would be funny to try) I can't find it. A project for a future rainy day, perhaps?

~~~~~~
"You were exceedingly clever once, but unfortunately none of your friends noticed as they were too busy being attacked by an octopus."
-from How To Tell If You Are In A J.R.R. Tolkien Book, by Austin Gilkeson, in 'The Toast', 2016 https://the-toast.net/...-a-jrr-tolkien-book/


noWizardme
Half-elven


Mon, 3:11pm

Post #8 of 8 (33 views)
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...I found the Earendil thing [In reply to] Can't Post

...I found the Earendil thing (http://newboards.theonering.net/...i?post=619391#619391 )

But what I had in mind was more like:

Earendil (Party remix)
[based on a true story]

Earendil liked Grand Marnier
And tarrying from voyaging
He held a lunch and made some punch
Each guest to put a bottle in.
Some cider won at County Fair
A jigger of some lemonade
A bottle fashioned like a swan
Of ouzo from some holiday

Some sherry brewed in ancient casks
Some chardonnay he ladled in
Some port that had a lot of dregs
But never mind, it all went in;
Some calvados like golden corn
Some porter hued like ebony
Some merlot made in Aragon
A mix of rum and old brandy
Absurd (but still, it's salient),
Laboratory ethanol,
"Absinthe next!" Earendil said.
The punch smoked and turned emerald



[There should be another 6 long verses, but it's best to know your limits. And anyway it's appropriate that things get blurry until....]

And over Middle-earth time passed
The punch was drunk and heads were sore
And great elf-lords and elven-maids
Were found passed out upon the floor.
Earendil took a mighty oath
Till Moon should fade he'd shut his bar
And pass, and mix his drinks no more
on Hither Shores, where mortals are
He ever had dark glasses on
A stomach that could never rest
No fizzy pill could ever jar
The hangover of Westernesse


So there you are - glad I got the emerald in; it's important, apparently.

~~~~~~
"You were exceedingly clever once, but unfortunately none of your friends noticed as they were too busy being attacked by an octopus."
-from How To Tell If You Are In A J.R.R. Tolkien Book, by Austin Gilkeson, in 'The Toast', 2016 https://the-toast.net/...-a-jrr-tolkien-book/


(This post was edited by noWizardme on Mon, 3:23pm)

 
 

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