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It's a Middle-earth Christmas Carol challenge!
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Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Dec 5 2019, 4:00am

Post #1 of 32 (1824 views)
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It's a Middle-earth Christmas Carol challenge! Can't Post

'Tis the season to butcher some well-loved Christmas carols for our amusement and pleasure! What carols would big hobbitses sing to little hobbitses? How would you mash up Christmas and Middle-earth?

Get your creative juices flowing and share your ME-flavoured Christmas song!

Here's one to kick things off:


You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus has forged the One Ring

He's making a list
He's building a tower
He's flaming an Eye
He's loving the power
Santa Claus has forged the One Ring

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows your secret fear
He knows if you've been bad or good
And he has nine Fell Reindeer

So!

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus has forged the One Ring


Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


My original fantasy writing

My LOTR fan-fiction


NottaSackville
Tol Eressea


Dec 5 2019, 12:19pm

Post #2 of 32 (1704 views)
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That's an awesome one! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville


CuriousG
Half-elven


Dec 5 2019, 2:47pm

Post #3 of 32 (1703 views)
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I second that vote for awesomeoness! // [In reply to] Can't Post

 


CuriousG
Half-elven


Dec 5 2019, 3:45pm

Post #4 of 32 (1712 views)
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From Frosty the Snowman [In reply to] Can't Post

Sauron the dark lord,
was an evil happy thug
with a Morgul knife and vampire fangs
and two eyes made of blood.

Sauron the dark lord,
is a fairy tale they say,
he was freedom's foe
but the children know
how he came to life one day.

There must have been some magic in that
old gold Ring they found,
for when they placed it on his hand
poor Numenor was drowned.

O, Sauron the dark lord
was alive as he could be,
And the children say he could laugh and play
while killing you and me.

Thumpetty thump thump
thumpety thump thump
Look at Sauron go
Thumpetty thump thump
thumpety thump thump
Dancing on piles of foes.


Sauron the dark lord,
knew the lava was hot one day
So he said, "Let's run
and we'll have some fun
before my Ring melts away."

Down to the slag hills
with the Nazgul in his band,
killing here and there,
all without a care,
saying, "Catch me if you can."

He terrorized the good guys
right to the Wizard cop,
and he only paused a moment when
he heard him holler "Stop!"

For Sauron the dark lord
had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye,
saying, "Don't you cry,
I'll be back again some day."

Thumpetty thump thump
thumpety thump thump
Look at Sauron go
Thumpetty thump thump
thumpety thump thump
Thumbing Gandalf's nose.


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Dec 5 2019, 5:45pm

Post #5 of 32 (1693 views)
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Wow, CuriousG; dark *and* funny - brilliant! :D / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


My original fantasy writing

My LOTR fan-fiction


sevilodorf
Grey Havens


Dec 8 2019, 2:55am

Post #6 of 32 (1575 views)
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There Were Three Rings for Elven Kings [In reply to] Can't Post

There Were Three Rings for Elven Kings
(Tune: I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing In)


There were three rings for Elven-kings
In Middle Earth, In Middle Earth;
There were three rings for Elven-kings
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.

What was the power of those rings?
In Middle Earth, in Middle Earth;
What was the power of those rings,
In Middle Earth in the Third Age?

To heal and stave off weariness,
In Middle Earth, in Middle Earth;
That was the power of the rings,
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.

Who were the keepers of the rings?
In Middle Earth, in Middle Earth;
Who were the keepers of the rings?
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.

Galadriel and Lord Elrond,
In Middle Earth; in Middle Earth;
Galadriel and Lord Elrond,
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.

Held those of Water and of Air,
In Middle Earth, in Middle Earth;
Held those of Water and of Air,
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.

And who was the keeper of the Fire?
In Middle Earth, in Middle Earth;
And who was the keeper of the Fire?
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.

Gandalf rekindled hearts with it.
In Middle Earth, in Middle Earth;
Gandalf rekindled hearts with it;
In Middle Earth in the Third Age.

They sailed west to Valinor,
From Middle Earth, From Middle Earth;
They sailed west to Valinor,
From Middle Earth in the Third Age.

Fourth Age Adventures at the Inn of the Burping Troll http://burpingtroll.com
Home of TheOneRing.net Best FanFic stories of 2005 and 2006 "The Last Grey Ship" and "Ashes, East Wind, Hope That Rises" by Erin Rua

(Found in Mathoms, LOTR Tales Untold)




Asger
Bree


Dec 8 2019, 10:14am

Post #7 of 32 (1529 views)
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Sauron/Annatar [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To


You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus has forged the One Ring


This goes really well with my theory that Saurons disguise Annatar, Lord of Gifts, is really Santa Claus
<:-D>

"Don't take life seriously, it ain't nohow permanent!" Pogo
www.willy-centret.dk

(This post was edited by Asger on Dec 8 2019, 10:16am)


noWizardme
Half-elven


Dec 8 2019, 11:03am

Post #8 of 32 (1522 views)
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Deck the mine with boughs of Hollin (a carol from Moria) [In reply to] Can't Post

Deck the mine with boughs of Hollin
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Mind the pool, you'd best not fall in
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

Light we now the blazing yule log
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don't wake up the sleeping balrog!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la

~~~~~~
"Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.


noWizardme
Half-elven


Dec 8 2019, 11:09am

Post #9 of 32 (1517 views)
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CG's the Dark bard... [In reply to] Can't Post

CG's the Dark bard, with his dark 'bone....


wait, what does that even mean - is there a trombone solo in 'Frosty' or something?

~~~~~~
"Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.


noWizardme
Half-elven


Dec 8 2019, 11:37am

Post #10 of 32 (1529 views)
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Last Christmas (as sung by the Witch King to Sauron?) [In reply to] Can't Post

Last Christmas, you gave me a Ring
And the very next day, I faded away
This year, I'm a creature of fear -
I've turned into something spectral

~~~~~~
"Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.


noWizardme
Half-elven


Dec 8 2019, 1:57pm

Post #11 of 32 (1518 views)
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At Christmas at the Prancing Pony.... [In reply to] Can't Post

At Christmas at the Prancing Pony, they commemmorate Frodo's eventful visit with this song
(it goes to the tune of "The Little Drummer Boy" ):

Well Mister Frodo's prank made Butterbur glum,
And all those broken plates cost Butterbur some
Revealing the One Ring was pretty darn dumb
You might have thought that too much Butterbur's rum
Was in Baggins's tum
That son of a gun
So as to make him loudly fall on his bum
When he should've kept schtum

Not all our saviours are as small as Tom Thumb
That mystery man we thought was just Ranger scum
He would our rightful King quite quickly become
Who knew- without his pals we'd quickly succumb
Under ruffians thumbs
Turning Bree into slums?
Don't judge appearences - a good rule of thumb
Whatever may come.


~~~~~~
"Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.


(This post was edited by noWizardme on Dec 8 2019, 1:58pm)


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Dec 8 2019, 6:16pm

Post #12 of 32 (1478 views)
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I literally snorted with laughter. *applause* [In reply to] Can't Post

All of these are great, noWiz!

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


My original fantasy writing

My LOTR fan-fiction


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Dec 8 2019, 6:17pm

Post #13 of 32 (1477 views)
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This puts a whole new spin on Middle-earth. [In reply to] Can't Post

So which of the Nazgul is Rudolph?

Evil

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


My original fantasy writing

My LOTR fan-fiction


Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Dec 8 2019, 6:20pm

Post #14 of 32 (1472 views)
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I don't know the song, but that's a beautiful parody. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauronís master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


My original fantasy writing

My LOTR fan-fiction


noWizardme
Half-elven


Dec 8 2019, 6:51pm

Post #15 of 32 (1475 views)
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Yes, bravo! Surely it's a parody of "I Saw Three Ships" [In reply to] Can't Post

lyrics: https://www.carols.org.uk/i_saw_three_ships.htm

A performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CkrL8f06xQ

~~~~~~
The Reading Room 'favourite chapters' project. http://newboards.theonering.net/...i?post=967482#967482 Each week, someone presents a favourite chapter from The Hobbit, LOTR or the Silmarillion. Just sign yourself up onto the schedule if you can lead a chapter.


(This post was edited by noWizardme on Dec 8 2019, 6:54pm)


noWizardme
Half-elven


Dec 8 2019, 6:59pm

Post #16 of 32 (1472 views)
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Thanks - had a lot of fun doing them [In reply to] Can't Post

...but I think the Prancing Pony Little Drumer Boy is my fave.

"I'm Dreaming of a Wight Christmas" has so far eluded me, so be my guest anyone who can do it!

~~~~~~
The Reading Room 'favourite chapters' project. http://newboards.theonering.net/...i?post=967482#967482 Each week, someone presents a favourite chapter from The Hobbit, LOTR or the Silmarillion. Just sign yourself up onto the schedule if you can lead a chapter.


CuriousG
Half-elven


Dec 8 2019, 7:35pm

Post #17 of 32 (1467 views)
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In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Bard. [In reply to] Can't Post

 
And I shall not be quiet, but loud and melodic as the Elton and the John! Packing concerts like Swift and Bieber and Adele! Famous as the The Beatles and the Rolling Stones! Sweeter than the Vienna Boys Choir. All shall follow me on Spotify and despair!


CuriousG
Half-elven


Dec 8 2019, 7:49pm

Post #18 of 32 (1465 views)
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"I'm Dreaming of a Wight Christmas" [In reply to] Can't Post

 
I'm dreaming of a Wight Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the Barrows glisten and captives listen
To hear ghost snarls in green glow.

I'm dreaming of a Wight Christmas
With every hobbit group I fool
May your friends like Merry be ghouls
And may all your Christmases be cruel.


noWizardme
Half-elven


Dec 8 2019, 9:19pm

Post #19 of 32 (1455 views)
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your chord's diminished, a quaver rest and you'll remain Galadriel? [In reply to] Can't Post

Nah, do at least a few more 'farewell tours' Wink

~~~~~~
The Reading Room 'favourite chapters' project. http://newboards.theonering.net/...i?post=967482#967482 Each week, someone presents a favourite chapter from The Hobbit, LOTR or the Silmarillion. Just sign yourself up onto the schedule if you can lead a chapter.


noWizardme
Half-elven


Dec 8 2019, 9:20pm

Post #20 of 32 (1452 views)
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Yay! " 'Don't you think Crosby did the best Christmas song?', asked Tom, probingly." // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

~~~~~~
The Reading Room 'favourite chapters' project. http://newboards.theonering.net/...i?post=967482#967482 Each week, someone presents a favourite chapter from The Hobbit, LOTR or the Silmarillion. Just sign yourself up onto the schedule if you can lead a chapter.


Mari D.
Rivendell


Dec 11 2019, 7:34pm

Post #21 of 32 (1370 views)
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Hahaha ... thanks :D [In reply to] Can't Post

And thanks to all the others as well for the lovely amusement!


(This post was edited by Mari D. on Dec 11 2019, 7:35pm)


Ethel Duath
Half-elven


Dec 15 2019, 10:52pm

Post #22 of 32 (1170 views)
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Mods. Way. Up. // [In reply to] Can't Post

 



Greenwood Hobbit
Tol Eressea


Dec 18 2019, 8:43pm

Post #23 of 32 (1080 views)
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These are great! Only just seen them. [In reply to] Can't Post

I saw Gimli kiss Galadriel
Deep within Lothlorien last night
They didn't see me creep from the flet to have a peep
They thought that I was lying in my bedroom fast asleep

I saw the Elf Queen tweak the cheeky dwarf's
Beard which was not even slightly white
What a thing it would have been if Celeborn had only seen
Gimli kiss Galadriel last night!



I'll get me coat...


(This post was edited by dernwyn on Dec 19 2019, 2:01pm)


Greenwood Hobbit
Tol Eressea


Dec 19 2019, 8:18am

Post #24 of 32 (1026 views)
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Oops - what happened there?! [In reply to] Can't Post

 All the line breaks have disappeared! Also I should have put Celeborn not Elrond - that's what you get for doing things in a hurry! Blush


dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


Dec 19 2019, 2:07pm

Post #25 of 32 (996 views)
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Looks okay to me! [In reply to] Can't Post

Angelic

But you're not the only one to have some strange formatting problem in the past day...very strange.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I desired dragons with a profound desire"

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