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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: The Arena:
2 Sherrif Hobbits w/ staffs vs. the Gaffer

Keebler the Elf

May 7 2008, 6:07pm

Post #1 of 11 (5716 views)
2 Sherrif Hobbits w/ staffs vs. the Gaffer Can't Post

So what can the Gaffer do to avoid jail time?

Mmmmmm....somethin' smells good!!!!! Could it be cookies baked in a tree?

Keebler's Website

Those were good cookies.....TIME TO HUNT SOME ORC!!!!!!!!!

Idril Celebrindal
Tol Eressea

May 8 2008, 6:09pm

Post #2 of 11 (1895 views)
I'm sure alcohol is involved somewhere in here [In reply to] Can't Post

A drunk Gaffer, busted by the Shirrifs on his way home from the Green Dragon, starts pelting the two with potatoes from his garden. Shirrif Basil Proudfoot takes a swing at a potato with his staff, connects solidly, and clocks the Gaffer in the head with the spud. The unconscious Gaffer is hauled to the Lockholes to sleep it off (Frodo later bails him out).

Once word of Proudfoot's exploit gets around, Hobbit kids all over the Shire immediately start throwing potatoes at each other and hitting them with sticks. Adding a new twist, other Hobbit kids try to catch the hit potatoes. A canny Hobbit mother substitutes a ball because she's tired of cleaning smashed potatoes from her offspring's clothes.

Thus the game of Basil Ball (later shortened to Baseball) is born!

With caffeine, all things are possible.

The pity of Bilbo will screw up the fate of many.

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(This post was edited by Idril Celebrindal on May 8 2008, 6:11pm)


May 8 2008, 7:25pm

Post #3 of 11 (1886 views)
This story bears [In reply to] Can't Post

a striking resemblance to the Golfimbul V Bandaborus Took=Golf story.
I say to avoid jail time the Gaffer would drop some names. He's in with the wealthier folks in Hobbiton.

Eglario Valar!
Sid Didymous' arms

One Ringer
Tol Eressea

May 12 2008, 10:01pm

Post #4 of 11 (1889 views)
He's the Gaffer . . . [In reply to] Can't Post

No one can touch him, not even Sauron. Laugh

Ash nazg durbatulūk, Ash nazg gimbatul,
Ash nazg thrakatulūk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.


May 14 2008, 5:30pm

Post #5 of 11 (1867 views)
Three words: Sheriffs' goin down! [In reply to] Can't Post

He's the GAFFER. He can't be taken down by anyone.

I'll be leading the Reading Room discussion of The Two Towers: The Road to Isengard on the week of May 26--June 1. Be sure to stop by!

Has anyone ever wondered what would have happened if Smaug had ate Bilbo, and therefore the ring? It would be interesting to see Sauron send orcs to go diving for the Ring.

The Shire

May 17 2008, 5:12pm

Post #6 of 11 (1781 views)
briliant [In reply to] Can't Post

it seem golf isnt the only sport with middle earth backrounds

The Shire

May 17 2008, 5:17pm

Post #7 of 11 (1957 views)
wow [In reply to] Can't Post

theres another golf story! i was refering to tolkins idea of the beginings of golf
as stated in(my theory on klingons,golf,and tolkin)

(This post was edited by laughing1blue6dolphin on May 17 2008, 5:17pm)


May 20 2008, 3:06am

Post #8 of 11 (2009 views)
Advantages of family [In reply to] Can't Post

The Gaffer doesn't have to lift a finger with all those sons of his. And as we're talking about a gardening family, there's bound to be hoes, shovels, maybe even pruning-hooks and pitchforks involved--more than a match for any staffs. I say the Gaffer walks free.

My website http://www.dreamdeer.grailmedia.com offers fanfic, and message-boards regarding intentional community or faerie exploration.


May 23 2008, 2:28am

Post #9 of 11 (1920 views)
Would you believe I read that as [In reply to] Can't Post

2 Sherrif Hobbits vs Staff vs the Gaffer ???

And thought "gee the mods really do get annoyed when we mess up" LOL *Aarrgggh need more caffeine* Blush

There he stood
Proud and solemn
Yet happy and gay

Keebler the Elf

May 23 2008, 3:41am

Post #10 of 11 (5830 views)
Interesting [In reply to] Can't Post

Nice read.

Mmmmmm....somethin' smells good!!!!! Could it be cookies baked in a tree?

Keebler's Website

Those were good cookies.....TIME TO HUNT SOME ORC!!!!!!!!!


Jun 29 2013, 4:00pm

Post #11 of 11 (1173 views)
gaffer [In reply to] Can't Post



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