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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Fan Art:
A poem/song I wrote this morning, inspired by Tolkien

Cirashala
Tol Eressea


May 20, 9:20pm

Post #1 of 8 (4067 views)
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A poem/song I wrote this morning, inspired by Tolkien Can't Post

The Memory of Stars


Starlight shines from up above

Wells of memory

Before the world was young and fair

The stars were glittering.

Elbereth did place them there

From Telperion

To greet the children tall and fair

On the shores of Elvenhome.

Long have the stars shone

Through the history

Of Middle Earth and Valinor

And the two trees.

The stars have seen the rise and fall

Of Beleriand the fair

Of light and sun and moon and dark

And Luthien’s hair.

The stars have seen her dancing there

In woods of night

And they did see the mighty hand

Of Beren’s last fight.

For stars above have seen the rise

Of him that shant be named

And stars above have seen the fight

Of elves and men and light.

Long have the stars above

Did see the fall of man

And they did find the sea had come

Over lands of Beleriand.

Long have the stars watched

The rise of Numenor

And they did weep at its fall

Beneath the seas of yore.

The stars have seen the wars of old

The rise and fall of Men

The waking of the elves and hosts

And the world to its end.

Still they shine on bright and fair

A beacon of the hope

That someday all will mend again

And Arda will be whole.

The elves and children of the King

Will rise again

And join their fair voices sing

And the world will be mend.

The memory of the stars above

Will see the world fair.

And still they will shine on high

Their light will fill the air.

And still they will shine on high

Their light will fill the air.

Amanda Longpre’
Inspired by J.R.R. Tolkien’s works



My writing and novels:

My Hobbit Fanfiction

My historical novel print and kindle version

My historical novels ebook version compatible with all ereaders

You can also find my novel at most major book retailers online (and for those outside the US who prefer a print book, you can find the print version at Book Depository). Search "Amazing Grace Amanda Longpre'" to find it.

Happy reading everyone!


(This post was edited by Cirashala on May 20, 9:22pm)


Cirashala
Tol Eressea


May 20, 9:24pm

Post #2 of 8 (4042 views)
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I will (hopefully) make a video soon for the tune [In reply to] Can't Post

Smile

My writing and novels:

My Hobbit Fanfiction

My historical novel print and kindle version

My historical novels ebook version compatible with all ereaders

You can also find my novel at most major book retailers online (and for those outside the US who prefer a print book, you can find the print version at Book Depository). Search "Amazing Grace Amanda Longpre'" to find it.

Happy reading everyone!


SirDennisC
Half-elven


Sep 2, 9:07pm

Post #3 of 8 (3134 views)
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I like it, thanks for sharing. / [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Cirashala
Tol Eressea


Sep 3, 7:17pm

Post #4 of 8 (3045 views)
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Thanks! [In reply to] Can't Post

I was wondering if anyone was going to read it.

My writing and novels:

My Hobbit Fanfiction

My historical novel print and kindle version

My historical novels ebook version compatible with all ereaders

You can also find my novel at most major book retailers online (and for those outside the US who prefer a print book, you can find the print version at Book Depository). Search "Amazing Grace Amanda Longpre'" to find it.

Happy reading everyone!


SirDennisC
Half-elven


Sep 7, 1:55am

Post #5 of 8 (2731 views)
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Over 1300 views [In reply to] Can't Post

allowing for spiders, that’s still a lot of people who probably read it!

What I like about it is the stars seem sentient, and that they were placed rather than just came into being. Also the structure, though it offers glimpses of internal rhyme and rhythm, is uneven, as if a translation made from a difficult, perhaps ancient language.

So, yeah...


(This post was edited by SirDennisC on Sep 7, 1:57am)


Cirashala
Tol Eressea


Sep 7, 2:10am

Post #6 of 8 (2726 views)
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Is the unevenness a good thing then? [In reply to] Can't Post

Not sure where the "so yeah..." was leading.

Admittedly, as an author (professionally and fan fiction)/poet/artist/musician I do really want people to like my work. But at the same time, I also want honest feedback as well so I can grow as a writer/poet/artist/musician as well Smile Doesn't come without the nerves preceding a review though Evil

My writing and novels:

My Hobbit Fanfiction

My historical novel print and kindle version

My historical novels ebook version compatible with all ereaders

You can also find my novel at most major book retailers online (and for those outside the US who prefer a print book, you can find the print version at Book Depository). Search "Amazing Grace Amanda Longpre'" to find it.

Happy reading everyone!


SirDennisC
Half-elven


Sep 7, 6:01pm

Post #7 of 8 (2595 views)
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Well [In reply to] Can't Post

I mostly read medieval works—usually translated from old languages—because I enjoy their quirkiness, and the challenge they present.

Poetry is often enjoyed for its form as well as its content; your poem satisfies (me) on multiple levels. However, if unevenness was not a deliberate choice when crafting your work, perhaps you could take another run at it. If one of the things that I like about it is lost (the unevenness), it may yet become more satisfying to others.

In the end though, it’s your voice that is important, that people will come to appreciate your work for, unless marketability is your only concern.

Keep working with words, writing, and especially reading, paying close attention to how words are knitted together, and for what effect.

Hope this helps. I do like it after all.


(This post was edited by SirDennisC on Sep 7, 6:03pm)


Cirashala
Tol Eressea


Sep 8, 3:21am

Post #8 of 8 (2523 views)
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That does-thanks! [In reply to] Can't Post

And the unevenness was deliberate in some aspect of it. I didn't want completely direct rhyming, lest I sound like Dr. Seuss Wink But a hint of cohesiveness is what I was striving for.

Will do-thank you for the tips! And no, marketability is not my only concern-far from it. I want to paint a picture, to tell a story in a way that draws the reader in. And in fiction (not poetry but prose) I want the reader to feel like they are there, a direct witness to the scene before them, but also that they are in the person's shoes, figuratively speaking. I want them to be able to feel what the character feels, to experience the journey alongside the character so that they can "experience" it too. Reading is very much escapism for me-an interlude into the vivid imagination of a mind longing to experience an adventure in another time or another world (hence why I love fantasy and historical fiction, and why I'm a historical fiction and fanfic author). To be able to experience something they would never be able to experience otherwise in this world.

If I've done that, then I've done my job as a writer/poet Smile When you said the stars felt sentient, I did a little happy dance because that's what I was going for Sly

Thank you for your constructive feedback Smile What good is any creator who is unwilling to learn and grow in their craft? Wink

My writing and novels:

My Hobbit Fanfiction

My historical novel print and kindle version

My historical novels ebook version compatible with all ereaders

You can also find my novel at most major book retailers online (and for those outside the US who prefer a print book, you can find the print version at Book Depository). Search "Amazing Grace Amanda Longpre'" to find it.

Happy reading everyone!

 
 

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