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I've been a TORn fanatic for 17 years!
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Jan 9, 12:37am

Post #1 of 58 (474 views)
I've been a TORn fanatic for 17 years! Can't Post

And a Middle-earth maniac for 43 years!

Thank Goodness TheOneRing.net came along and gave me an outlet (or enabled me ;) for my geeky obsession! It's incredible to find others who feel the same way I do about Tolkien, the books and the films... if not moreso! It's made this place my second home. A splendid community :D

So to celebrate all of that and all of you, here's my 17th TORniversary mathom. It could be dubbed:

You know you're a Tolkien geek when...
You know you're addicted to Tolkien / LotR when...
You know you're a Middle-earth maniac when...
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera...

Which is yours? Please share your "...WHENS"

Here are some of mine "You know you're a Tolkien geek when..."

-You can't walk through the grocery store's produce department without sticking carrots in your pockets and filling your arms with taters

-You can't go for walks along country roads without watching the treeline for Rangers, Hobbits or walking trees

-When you're asked if you made it to your appointment, you respond, "Yes. I've been there and back again."

-When you find out there's a meeting, you mumble, "Well if that isn't a plague and a nuisance!"

-Every time someone posts about grammar, I think they're talking to me! "Yes? You called? " ;)

-You have an urge to travel in packs of 13 +1

-You have 2 LotR/Tolkien tattoos and getting a 3rd

-When you're walking on your country roads, you watch for stones/pebbles shaped like Middle-earth... and you found some! :D

-You refer to your home as the "Old Bag's End".

-For the past 17 years, your car's license plate is "hobbity"

-You *twitch* and fight the urge to buy every discounted copy of LotR/Hobbit at the book store... or video store... or thrift store... or yard sales!

-Your home improvements (like a garage roof ;) have a LotR flair

-You name your pets after Tolkien-related creatures, foodstuff, locations, or characters

-You named your vehicles, "hobbity" (black SUV); "Shadowfax" (1985 van); and "hobbity the grey" (grey SUV)

-The 2 most recent vehicles you buy are the Ford Escape (SUV) so you can Escape in the Ford!

-The Lord of the Rings has been your anchor in life and joy since you were a 19yo hippie in 1971

-You're still in love with TORn and your sibbies after 17 years in the best home away from home EVER!

And here is Stapper's MAHVELOUS April 29, 2009 re-post of Chip of Dale's BEAUDACIOUS December 1, 2004 list: You Know You're Addicted to LotR When...

You start quoting from the movie as part of regular conversation.

You like to tell your mom that you are hungry by quoting: "Merry, I'm hungry."

She used to just laugh, but now she says, "What would you like to eat, Pippin?"

You continually ask your parents for second breakfast.

All the staff at your local cinema knows you by your first name and even before you open your mouth to speak, they say "Ticket for 'Fellowship of The Ring?'"

You hate Burger King food, but you ate nothing else for a month to get the toys.

You've crammed up your computer's memory by downloading every single screensaver from www.LordoftheRings.net

You wander around the house in a knee length nightie, pyjama trousers and an unfastened dressing gown (to give you a train). You are trying to be an elf, and actually manage to forget that the nightie is blue with dolphins, the trousers have teddies on and the dressing gown is tartan.

Your Lord of the Rings shirt has not yet met the washing machine.

You don't have enough money to buy groceries for the next week before payday, yet you charge £50 on your credit card to get a three year charter membership in the official LOTR fan club. Who needs food anyway?

You refer to parts of your town as parts of Middle-Earth.

You wear hobbitish clothing as part of your normal wardrobe.

You sometimes let your hair go curly after a wash, and then run around the house in bare feet yelling "I'm a hobbit!"

You hate it when Elves are only thought of as 'Santa's little helpers' and have tried to explain the difference between Santa-elves and Syrian Elves to your 5-year old cousins.

You speak in Quenya just to annoy your friends.

You refer to regular elephants as oliphaunts.

While buttering a piece of bread, you suddenly think of Bilbo (remember when he was talking to Gandalf about feeling tired) saying that he felt 'like butter spread over too much bread.'

You renamed your car the Wraith-mobile.

You have a replica of The One Ring.

You are beginning to resemble a panda due to the fact that you've stayed up until 2 am reading and re-reading the great books.

You actually managed to read the Silmarillion without being tempted to give up on this whole middle earth malarkey.

You now have a lifetime fear of black horses!

You haven't removed the soundtrack from your CD player since you bought it.

You have sssudenly developed a hisssing lisssp every time you sssay the letter ssss.

You have looked both on the net and in the phone book to see if archery and sword fighting lessions are offered in your area.

You have begun calling your husband / wife / girlfriend/ boyfriend / animal or kid my precioussss.

You happily traveled over an hour to the next town to see "it" because that theater has a better sound system than the one 5 minutes down the road.

You have called every theatrical or specialty makeup company in town looking for pointy ear or hairy feet prosthetics.

You've worn your plastic "one ring" that came on your Legolas bookmark so much the gold is completely worn off.

You've begun drafting a letter to the Webster's dictionary people requesting that they include "Ringers" in their next edition.

At Christmas time relatives find you chatting with the tree and sharing eggnog draughts

Single ads with the description," short plump and big hairy feet" seem much more appealing.

You know The LotR history better then your family history.

You have a mouse named Frodo, a bird named Gollum, and a dog named Gandalf. And that cat that keeps coming around to be petted is Legolas.

You know Elvish better then English.

Whenever something goes wrong, it's Sauron's fault.

When you sing in the shower, it's always about Gil-Galad or hobbit walking songs...

You know everything about Middle Earth geography, but you can't get someone from your house to the ice cream parlor. Now the nearest movie theater, that is a different story.

You think the names of the 7 dwarves from Snow White are: Gimli, Gloin, Thorin, Gili, Nili, Ori, and Bambour.

You have developed your own special Tolkien handwriting. "A firm, flowing script..."

Words like "Yrch" make sense to you.

You've become strangely obsessed with mushrooms.

Whenever you close a door, you say, "They have a cave troll!"

When you come to a dead end you're still convinced that the road goes ever on and on.

There's a sign on your door saying, "Speak Friend and enter!"

Whenever you get a chance, you burst into song. Preferably one that has more than 20 verses.

You change your name by deed poll to a Tolkien character and seriously consider naming your children after LOTR characters.

Every time you see birds in the sky you have the urge to say, "Fly you fools!"

When someone knocks on your door you grab them, pull them inside and ask, "Are you frightened?... Not nearly frightened enough!"

Your computer's screensaver is a marquee reading, "Ennyn Durin atan Moria: pedo mellon a mino" and the password is actually "mellon".

You cannot see a beer without blurting out "It comes in pints? I'm getting one!"

You just can't keep yourself from saying "nobody tosses a Dwarf" at inappropriate moments.

A shadow and a threat is growing in your mind.

You now referring to your friends as your 'Fellowship' and insist that you have epic adventures.

You stand in the doorway and tell your cat that he 'Can not pass'.

You wash your face in the sink and expect to see things that are, that have been or that will be.

Your wedding band has started to weigh you down with its evil powers.

Spending $35 at the grocery store seems expensive, but it's Perfectly fine to spend $70 on the Hardcover LOTR book with Alan Lee Illustrations.

You start keeping a LOTR Journal to write poems and inklings in.

You face every difficult decision with the thought, "now what would Gandalf advise me to do?"

You know what Entmoot, Ent draught, or an Ent is for that matter

You've gained 20 pounds because you've started eating a "Second Breakfast"

A walking stick... you never leave home with out it.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Lord of the Rings.


We have been there and back again.

TIME Google Calendar

(This post was edited by grammaboodawg on Jan 9, 12:42am)

Forum Admin / Moderator

Jan 9, 2:14am

Post #2 of 58 (367 views)
Woo-hoo! I'm right behind you :) [In reply to] Can't Post

Can not believe I followed this random person named grammaboodawg from the old LOTR movie forums to this site. I saw Fellowship with my sisters and brother, and could NOT stop thinking about it. The Fellowship movie forum was my first attempt at online discussion, and I was disappointed that the conversations were centered around Legolas and the movie actors. I had been reading LOTR and the Hobbit since the 1970s and I yearned for a solid movie AND book discussion.
So this person called grammaboodawg mentioned another site she had found, theonering.net. I clicked on the link, and knew instantly I had found my home. This was the site where the books and the movies were loved. I lurked for a few weeks, then dove right in.
What adventures we have had! My first "Moot" was the ROTK Oscar Party, and I remember the night before I got on my flight to Los Angeles. I was about to fly thousands of miles to meet people I didn't know, and they didn't know me. I did consider not going - since no one knew me, they would never realize I wasn't there - but I am so glad I went. I made friends that night that will stay with me forever, and I have had so many wonderful experiences.
Remember going to Peoria to see Mike Foster and Tom Shippey? We had to flag down silneldor, who drove from New Jersey.
What an amazing ride we have had, and my life is so much better because of you, gramma HeartHeartHeartHeart

Forum Admin / Moderator

Jan 9, 2:53am

Post #3 of 58 (368 views)
Happy TORniversary, gramma! [In reply to] Can't Post

And many happy returns of the day! Seventeen already? Hasn't it just flown by! And I am so glad you have been an integral part of all this awesome madness. You are indeed, as squire has called you, the doyen of TORn. Heart

Son and I are always imitating Gollum and talking about "nice crispy bacon". Oh, what did Tolkien (and those movies) do to us! Laugh


"I desired dragons with a profound desire"


Jan 9, 3:23am

Post #4 of 58 (363 views)
Happy TORNiversary, Gramma! [In reply to] Can't Post

Taking 17 and 43, I went through Appendix B, looking for some perfect matchup of dates for either 1743 or 4317. Alas. But I did find that in 2043, Earnur became King of Gondor and wisely refused the Witch-king's challenge. And in 3017, Gollum was captured and sent to Thranduil, so both dates are auspicious enough. Thank you for all you do to make this community warm, inviting, and vital! May your beard grow ever--oops, wrong thing to say. Try again: Praise Gramma with great praise!

Thanks for the list of geek gaffes--I have done some, and now I have more I want to try. As for my own, you know you're a Tolkien geek when

1. You randomly block a coworker and proclaim "You shall not pass!" (and you're grateful when they get it)
2. You're in the market shopping for dinner and accidentally mutter to yourself, "What does we want for dinner tonight, my precious?" Then you whip your head around nervously and hope no one heard.
3. You realize you can only be so close to some people because "they just don't get Tolkien."
4. Your computer passwords always involve a Tolkien name and 3 or 7 (the "good" rings).
5. TORN is the first site you check when you get home from work.
6. You lie in bed at night wondering where the Blue Wizards are.
7. You see a tree moving oddly and wonder if it's a lost Entwife.
8. You get really, really mad when you can't find a realistic, working Phial of Galadriel for sale on Amazon. (How hard can it be to invent such a thing when we can make nuclear reactors and walk on the moon?!?!!?!?!?)
9. You explain to a non-fan that some situation won't work out because "That is how it would begin. But it would not stop with that, alas." And they make fun of you for the "alas" part.
10. You explain to another non-fan that something is secret by saying, "it is not permitted to speak of it, and Elrond could not do so." And they answer "Who's Elrond? That weird guy you're friends with in the IT Dept?"


Jan 9, 7:38am

Post #5 of 58 (354 views)
You go, gramma! [In reply to] Can't Post

Every one of your "whens" is a badge of honor - especially that garage roof. Wink

I guess naming my new cat Pippin kinda gives me away, huh?Blush And then there's the fact that I've surrounded myself with friends who totally got it. "Aaaaaah, that's perfect!" Kindred geeks.

Wear your badges proudly, Tornadoes/Tornfolk/Tolkienistas! "Thank Goodness TheOneRing.net came along", indeed. Thanks for the reminder, gramma, if any of us needed reminding. Laugh

Happy 17th and 43rd!

Forum Admin / Moderator

Jan 9, 7:46am

Post #6 of 58 (353 views)
Happy TORniversary, Gramma! [In reply to] Can't Post

In mossy woods I watch out for ents - and sometimes catch a glimpse :).

Wishing you many more happy years with Tolkien and with TORn.

The Passing of Mistress Rose
My historical novels

Do we find happiness so often that we should turn it off the box when it happens to sit there?

- A Room With a View

Greenwood Hobbit
Grey Havens

Jan 9, 10:25am

Post #7 of 58 (349 views)
Congrammatulations! [In reply to] Can't Post

You are such a stalwart, welcoming presence on the boards and have contributed so much over the years. I used to be on the old boards as well, but have lost track of when I first joined. I don't think I'll be too far behind you.

I love all those 'WHEN...' sayings! Here are just a few from my life.
You know you're a Middle Earth maniac when you see a dark cloud bank advancing and refer to it as the Hand of Mordor.You know you're a Middle Earth maniac when seeing desired things evokes a response of 'We wantss it, preciousss...'You know you're a Middle Earth maniac when you see a black Jaguar in the car park with the registration '9 FLU' and think instantly of Ringwraiths, not influenza.You know you're a Middle Earth maniac when you have to resist the urge to mutter 'Hoom' when wandering through the woods.


Jan 9, 12:30pm

Post #8 of 58 (344 views)
*flying tackle hug* I always raise a glass to you :D [In reply to] Can't Post

Whenever we hit our TORniversary, I still think of that party and how you and I manned the Ring Toss game :D Wasn't it surreal!? That whole Oscar time meeting so many sib who HAVE been wonderful friends ever since.

Finding sil in Peoria AND joining Balin and tealbee then hanging out with Tom Shippey for pizza!?

So many incredible experiences and friendships (all so forgiving, supportive, fun!) we've had and are still having!!! All thanks to TORn.

Isn't it wild how we both knew nothing about online communities and ended up at the "official" website only to find our way to TORn? It changed our lives :D

Thank you, entmaiden... for everything you've given me all these years. *massive hug*


We have been there and back again.

TIME Google Calendar

Tol Eressea

Jan 9, 12:34pm

Post #9 of 58 (344 views)
Happy TORNiversary, gramma! [In reply to] Can't Post

To call you a pillar of the community would vastly understate what you mean to TORN.

Thank you for all you've done over the years for us!


Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville

Forum Admin / Moderator

Jan 9, 1:14pm

Post #10 of 58 (342 views)
Happy TORNiversary, Gramma! [In reply to] Can't Post

It's been a delight to have you in our fellowship on this journey. Heart


Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known.


Jan 9, 2:21pm

Post #11 of 58 (340 views)
Congrats gramma! [In reply to] Can't Post

I've only been active on TORn for eight years (nine in July), but I've always felt welcome.

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

AlassŽa Eruvande

Jan 9, 2:46pm

Post #12 of 58 (347 views)
After 15 years, I still feel like a newbie sometimes. [In reply to] Can't Post

I have probably done many of those things as well, but one that I've been using lately is when I forget something or do something silly: "I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it." Laugh I stop the quote there, though, without going on with the butter scraped over too much bread. LaughCrazy

Here's to many more, you nut! I don't want to read about you falling off the roof adjusting your LOTR flair in your upcoming project!

I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong, strong, STRONG!
My armor is like tenfold shields! My teeth like swords! My claws, spears!
The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt! My wings, a hurricane! And my breath, death!


Jan 9, 2:58pm

Post #13 of 58 (337 views)
Oh yes... Kitty Kounts! :D [In reply to] Can't Post

I love how Tolkien permeates everything... and it's ALWAYS good stuff!

*hugs* ;)


We have been there and back again.

TIME Google Calendar


Jan 9, 3:01pm

Post #14 of 58 (337 views)
Uh-oh [In reply to] Can't Post

Now I'm really hungry for some bacon! *giggle* I love it! I feel so sorry for all of those souls out there that just don't get it ;)


We have been there and back again.

TIME Google Calendar


Jan 9, 3:06pm

Post #15 of 58 (340 views)
*flying tackle hug* [In reply to] Can't Post

You're truly one of the shining lights at TORn!

I can't pinpoint when I first joined but it was about the time The Two Towers was released. It was such a joy to find a website with people as nutty about Middle-earth as I.

Happy TORniversary, gramma. Smile


Jan 9, 3:24pm

Post #16 of 58 (337 views)
Playing with numbers :D [In reply to] Can't Post

That's so cool! :D Love your "whens" *still giggling* Wondering about the Blue Wizards and the computer passwords including 3 or 7... or 9... or 13 ;) Thanks so much :)


We have been there and back again.

TIME Google Calendar


Jan 9, 3:27pm

Post #17 of 58 (338 views)
I think those ents [In reply to] Can't Post

and the ent-wives are everywhere! *looks out window*

When I was an enting myself, I used to wish I could be a tree that would wake up every 50 to 100 years and see how the world has changed around me. Uh... I don't wish that anymore; but I always felt that those trees knew more than they were letting on ;)


We have been there and back again.

TIME Google Calendar

Lily Fairbairn

Jan 9, 3:49pm

Post #18 of 58 (342 views)
Wow! Happy TORniversary! [In reply to] Can't Post

You were here when I first discovered TORn (in 2002, I think)and have always been one of the many reasons I keep coming back. Thank you!

As for your list, oh my, I've done so many of those things, starting, but not ending, with getting a tattoo of the White Tree the first time we were in New Zealand, doing a Red Carpet tour. (Doing a Red Carpet tour of NZ being another item, right?)

A friend of mine told a story on herself. She was driving around a large parking lot and was delighted to see a big sign reading LOTR. She thought, oh wow, is it a moot?

Then she realized it was simply indicating Lot R. Like parking area A, B, C, and so forth. Laugh


Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing?
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing?
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow;
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow....


Jan 9, 3:57pm

Post #19 of 58 (342 views)
*still giggling* [In reply to] Can't Post

Those are great! I've done the hand of Mordor, too! I live in pretty open-flat country, so you can see a definite line of storm clouds as they move in!

You probably have this, but I just did a quick check of a couple of OLD threads I copied. I usually only copied the subject lines thinking I could access the threads. But this one I also copied the text... and there's one of yours that can be a bread crumb to lead you nearer to your date (via old emails?). :D So many great names sorely missed...

Nick: Greenwood Hobbit (Forum Member)

Date/Time: Tue, 9/14/2004 at 18:28 EDT
Browser/OS: Microsoft Internet Explorer V5.01 using Windows 98
In Reply To: What is your greatest TORnSib moment? <Elf Princess of Lorien > [9/14/2004 @ 16:25] (47/152)
Subject: Many great moments so far!
My first was at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2002 when I first met other TORnsibs - Roheryn, Probono, belethdelothiel, inDuhvidual and Arwenelf. Oh - and Figwit!

Next sibs I met were Eledhwen and Frogmella, when I was on a work trip. Then there were two trips to Howard Shore concerts and a visit to the LOTR exhibition with River Woman, Cheshire Cat, Meliana, Trinity the Purple, Frogmella, Pteppic, Draupne, Hengist, Bard, Jayjay, Bill the Faithful Animal - dagnabbit, there were others, too - sorry if I've left anyone out! (I'm tired, I need to sleep...) And of course there was C4, with Cheshire Cat, Meliana and Jordan the discursive, and a load of people from the Prancing Pony boards; that was all very surreal, when I met Sean Astin and Andy Serkis and saw several other cast members.

Hard to single any of those out as my best moment, to be honest; best thing has to be meeting kindred spirits and striking up friendships. And I will be eternally grateful for the lovely picture Cheshire Cat took of me with Sean!
Love like a Hobbit

And straightway all the horns in the host were lifted up in music, and the blowing of the horns of Rohan in that hour was like a storm upon the plain and a thunder in the mountains.


We have been there and back again.

TIME Google Calendar

(This post was edited by grammaboodawg on Jan 9, 4:00pm)


Jan 9, 4:04pm

Post #20 of 58 (332 views)
Oh.. I love it! :D [In reply to] Can't Post

I would definitely wear that one out very quickly... if I can remember to use it ;)

Thanks lots!


We have been there and back again.

TIME Google Calendar


Jan 9, 4:10pm

Post #21 of 58 (336 views)
I know a lot of us [In reply to] Can't Post

loved the books... then the films came along and introduced Tolkien to others... who, I hope, picked up the books. Seeing how many of us were brought to TORn no matter how we got here is so incredible :D

Two Towers? I think you should pick a date in January 2003 (within month after TT release) and claim that as you date! :D


We have been there and back again.

TIME Google Calendar


Jan 9, 4:51pm

Post #22 of 58 (337 views)
Blue Wizard bedtime stories [In reply to] Can't Post

I have done many of these! But the one that stood out was about laying awake at night thinking about the Blue Wizards. My boys, under 10, all have heard many stories of my own creation about the Blue Wizards. Some of their favorite bedtime stories are to ask me about the Istari and their many adventures.

Whenever I heard the word "pint," even when I'm cooking, I always think immediately, "It comes in pints? I'm getting one!"

Whenever I see a horse, I wonder if it is strong enough to be a Rohan breed.

Whenever I hear any Medieval story involving a king or a knight, I wonder if they have a documented family history connecting their lineage to any lines from Middle-earth.

Whenever I'm on road trips enjoying the scenery, the first thing I ask myself is "Now what part of Middle-earth could THIS double for?"

Along those lines, you begin to see landmarks nearly identical to ones in Middle-earth...and proceed to take pictures of them to show your friends (I swear I live 90 miles north of Weathertop, it's a spitting image).

You watch the Honest Trailers of How It Should Have Ended videos that touch on LOTR and Hobbit and you realize that most of their criticisms (though not all) are easily explained with a simple understanding of the deeper Middle-earth history and lore.

I could go on!

I have been a "lurking" member of TORN for over 10 years now, and only made my first post back in 2010. When I did, I used my college assigned User ID so I wouldn't forget it, and have regretted it ever since! While I am not an avid poster, I come here daily and read all the new messages I've missed, and wish I had even more time to devote to an even deeper dive of the wealth of knowledge that exists on Middle-earth! Thank you to all who have kept up this site, and have provided such illuminating and interesting conversations over the years!


Jan 9, 5:30pm

Post #23 of 58 (327 views)
Bwahahaha!!! [In reply to] Can't Post

LotR Absolutely PERFECT! OMG! I would definitely park there even if I had to walk through the entire alphabet to do it :D And the Red Carpet Tour absolutely counts!



We have been there and back again.

TIME Google Calendar

Aunt Dora Baggins

Jan 9, 7:02pm

Post #24 of 58 (327 views)
Happy TORniversary! [In reply to] Can't Post

I guess we're about the same vintage on TORn, though I've been away for a while. Hugs, Gramma!

I don't have a list, but here's my favorite Ent from a hike we enjoy.

Ent foot

GNU Terry Pratchett
"For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century."
"A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories

leleni at hotmail dot com


Jan 9, 7:14pm

Post #25 of 58 (324 views)
my list is short [In reply to] Can't Post

It's not possible for anyone around me to reach into a pocket without me muttering 'what has he got in his pocketses?'

Thankful that the movies mean I no longer have to correct people who pronounce Tolkien names incorrectly ("Glade-ri-el, really?").

Fondness for walks in the woods after sunset.

I am a dreamer of words, of written words. I think I am reading; a word stops me. I leave the page. The syllables of the words begin to move around Ö The words take on other meanings as if they had the right to be young.

-- Gaston Bachelard

* * * * * * * * * *

NARF and member of Deplorable Cultus since 1967

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