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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Movie Discussion: The Hobbit:
The Hobbit Caption Contest CVIII


Oct 15 2018, 10:28pm

Post #1 of 12 (10316 views)
The Hobbit Caption Contest CVIII Can't Post

Thanks Ataahua for the nod!

Azog appears to be preoccupied with something...what is going on?


Oct 16 2018, 12:12am

Post #2 of 12 (10262 views)
Azog sends a quick text: "Not now honey! I've got my hands full with a little feller with an oak-shield!" / [In reply to] Can't Post


‘. . . the rule of no realm is mine . . .
But all worthy things that are in peril . . . those are my care.
For I also am a steward. Did you not know?'

Gandalf to Denethor


Oct 16 2018, 12:37am

Post #3 of 12 (10261 views)
Rock smashes scissors [In reply to] Can't Post

Scissors cut paper
Paper covers rock.

There's no "oakenshield" in this game!

They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters, these see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep. -Psalm 107


Oct 16 2018, 1:16am

Post #4 of 12 (10258 views)
Of Mice and Orcs [In reply to] Can't Post

Thorin: What'd you take outa that pocket?
Azog: Ain't a thing in my pocket. Honest.
Thorin:I know there ain't. You got it in your hand. What you got in your hand?
Azog: It's ony a mouse. I was just pettin it with the fingers while we was walkin along.
Thorin: Yeah, well, you ain't pettin no mice when you walk with me! You gonna give me that mice or am I gonna have to sock you?
Azog (blubbering) I don't know why I can't keep it. It ain't nobody's mouse.
I didn't steal it.
Thorin: Ah, tell you what I'll do. First chance I get I'll give you a puppy!


Oct 16 2018, 2:42am

Post #5 of 12 (10252 views)
Bracegirdle, that's funny. [In reply to] Can't Post


"I name you Elf-friend; and may the stars shine upon the end of your road!" - Gildor

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."- Thorin


Oct 16 2018, 5:20am

Post #6 of 12 (10237 views)
Pokémon Go players swarmed the Doors of Durin when they heard it was a spawn point for Jigglypuff. / [In reply to] Can't Post


"Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!"
"Come not between the Nazgul and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in
thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond
all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled
mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye."
"Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may."
"Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!"
"But no living man am I! I am Eowyn, daughter of Theodwyn!"
"Er, really? My mother's name was Theodwyn, too!"
"No way!"
"Wow! Let's stop fighting and be best friends!"

-Zack Snyder's The Return of the King


Oct 16 2018, 2:30pm

Post #7 of 12 (10205 views)
Ouch! No fair. That's not how you play 'got your nose'! [In reply to] Can't Post


Mari D.

Oct 18 2018, 9:37pm

Post #8 of 12 (10170 views)
Now if I shake the dice well and get 3×6, [In reply to] Can't Post

my power of attack will be greater than Thorin's. Ok here goes ...

(This post was edited by Mari D. on Oct 18 2018, 9:38pm)


Oct 19 2018, 12:41am

Post #9 of 12 (10135 views)
Azog, the kingslayer, lost his hand [In reply to] Can't Post

Sounds familiar...



Oct 19 2018, 1:38am

Post #10 of 12 (10130 views)
Azog was stunned to find that his hand was the latest victim of a fan-edit Hobbit film [In reply to] Can't Post

after said fan decided said hand was not canon, and therefore had no place in the films.


Oct 22 2018, 10:37pm

Post #11 of 12 (9882 views)
Winner! [In reply to] Can't Post

Brilliant posts all around...with many clever references!

I particularly enjoyed Fereth's satirical jab at fan-edits and purists (despite being one)...

Lead on!


Oct 23 2018, 9:44pm

Post #12 of 12 (9771 views)
Why thank you kindly StingingFly! [In reply to] Can't Post

I'll get the new one up shortly. Cool


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