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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Movie Discussion: The Lord of the Rings:
The LOTR Caption Contest CXCVII


Oct 4 2018, 7:52pm

Post #1 of 14 (10828 views)
The LOTR Caption Contest CXCVII Can't Post

The Unexpected Thread wanders on! Thank you, Cat-with-Watermelon-Helmet!
Here we have one statue's comment to the other, or maybe a dialogue. In case the pic is too cropped down, that's Helm, and the beheaded King that Frodo & Co. pass by--but you already knew that.


Oct 5 2018, 1:10am

Post #2 of 14 (10731 views)
"Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell?" "Where was Rohan when my head fell???"/// [In reply to] Can't Post


"Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!"
"Come not between the Nazgul and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in
thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond
all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled
mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye."
"Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may."
"Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!"
"But no living man am I! I am Eowyn, daughter of Theodwyn!"
"Er, really? My mother's name was Theodwyn, too!"
"No way!"
"Wow! Let's stop fighting and be best friends!"

-Zack Snyder's The Return of the King


Oct 5 2018, 3:33pm

Post #3 of 14 (10669 views)
wait [In reply to] Can't Post

that isn't a watermelon. What is that helm forged from??


Oct 6 2018, 4:01pm

Post #4 of 14 (10563 views)
“Then up northaway some feller they called ‘Bullroarer’ taught me the meaning of grief with a pitching wedge war-club.” [In reply to] Can't Post


‘. . . the rule of no realm is mine . . .
But all worthy things that are in peril . . . those are my care.
For I also am a steward. Did you not know?'

Gandalf to Denethor

Mari D.

Oct 6 2018, 11:53pm

Post #5 of 14 (10465 views)
It was supposed to be an easy riddle - [In reply to] Can't Post

one of the doors will lead you to freedom, the other to death, one of the guards always tells the truth and the other always lies - but unfortunately, the guy challenged was a blockhead and they all fossilized before he could figure it out.

(This post was edited by Mari D. on Oct 6 2018, 11:54pm)


Oct 23 2018, 4:57pm

Post #6 of 14 (7512 views)
not getting a lot of reaction here [In reply to] Can't Post

any last takers? I thought statue humor was all the rage!

L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens

Oct 23 2018, 5:36pm

Post #7 of 14 (7500 views)
As Rohan had its Helm Hammerhand, so Gondor had its Eärnur Blockhead./ [In reply to] Can't Post


Oct 23 2018, 8:26pm

Post #8 of 14 (7464 views)
a Clue in the case of the beheaded statue...I accuse (King Helm Hammerhand) of committing the crime in the (Hornburg) with the (war hammer)...but only because Colonel Mustard has an air-tight alibi [In reply to] Can't Post



Oct 27 2018, 3:20pm

Post #9 of 14 (6764 views)
At least there was one hammer-wielding warrior of legend who knew to aim for the head // [In reply to] Can't Post


Ethel Duath

Oct 29 2018, 3:25am

Post #10 of 14 (6513 views)
I cannot be charged. The statue of limitations expired in the Second Age. // [In reply to] Can't Post



Oct 29 2018, 5:37am

Post #11 of 14 (6485 views)
Bang bang, Maxwell's silver hammer, came down on her head. // [In reply to] Can't Post


Tol Eressea

Oct 29 2018, 7:22pm

Post #12 of 14 (6392 views)
Before the advent of DNA mapping, [In reply to] Can't Post

there was one sure way to test for troll.


Oct 30 2018, 7:40pm

Post #13 of 14 (6151 views)
a winner [In reply to] Can't Post

Some good entries, very much verging into the absurdist, but I can't resist the sheer Pythonish nonsense of your reply, O Ethel Duath. To you falls the mantle.

Ethel Duath

Nov 1 2018, 2:03am

Post #14 of 14 (5840 views)
M' Goodneth! Pythonthith! [In reply to] Can't Post

*Struggles to speak under the enormous, fluffy mantle that just fell on my head*
OK, that's better--finally found the hood opening. Thank you! Smile I shall proceed forthwith, with the CXCVIII.


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