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noWizardme
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 10:30am
Post #1 of 26
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***Birthday song parodies
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I was remembering that an earlier round of Birthday dabbles sort of morphed into writing Middle-earth parodies of songs and poems (see http://newboards.theonering.net/...i?post=927949#927949 ) It was a lot of fun, so I suggest we do that again as a seprate game! I'll start: Sweet Ring of Mine (Gollum, after Guns N Roses) It’s got a shine that it seems to me Reminds me of childhood memories Where we went fishing Under a bright blue sky Now and then when I see his face It takes me away to a special place But if we thinks too long We'd probably break down and cry Oh, oh, oh Sweet Ring o' mine Oh, oh, oh, oh Sweet love of mine - Where did it go? Where did it go now? Where did it go? (Thief! Baggins!) Where does we go? I, we, I, we, I, we - Where does we go now? - Sweet Ring, Sweet Ring of mine!
~~~~~~ "Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 12:14pm
Post #2 of 26
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Elwing in the Sky with Silmarils
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Thanks for starting this, Wiz! I thought of this classic Beatles song, taking poetic license since it was never a literal song to begin with: Picture yourself in a boat on Ulmo's river With talking Ent trees and Varda's blue skies Sweet Elwing calls you, you answer quite slowly An Elf with enchanted jewel eyes Elanor flowers of yellow and green Towering over your head Look for the Elf with the Sun in her eyes And she's gone Elwing in the sky with Silmarils Elwing in the sky with Silmarils Elwing in the sky with Silmarils Ah Follow her down to Two Trees of the Valar Where Noldorin Elves eat lembas and wine Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers That grow so incredibly high A Great Eagle taxi appears on the shore Waiting to take you away Climb on his back with your head in the clouds And you're gone Elwing in the sky with Silmarils Elwing in the sky with Silmarils Elwing in the sky with Silmarils Ah
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 12:18pm
Post #3 of 26
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Excellent- especially like the great eagle taxi! //
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~~~~~~ "Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 1:23pm
Post #4 of 26
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Mandos goes to rehab (based on Amy Winehouse)
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[warning: my intent was to make this funny, but it is a fundamentally dark song, so I think it remains darker than I intended.] Valar tried to make me go to rehab I said, no, no, no Yes, I am black And when I come back, you'll know, know, know I still got my pride And Ungoliant is on my side. Mandos tried to make me go to rehab I won't go, go, go I'd rather be at home with my grog I ain't got seventy days 'Cause there's nothing, there's nothing you can teach me That I can't learn from my balrogs I didn't get a lot from Manwe But I know I'm not another Ghandi Eru tried to make me go to rehab I said, "no, no, no" Yes, I been black But when I come back, you'll know, know, know I ain't got the time And if Nienna thinks I'm fine She's tried to make me go to rehab I won't go, go, go Mandos said, "why do you think you here? I said, I got no fear. I'm gonna, I'm gonna kill your Trees So I always keep a spider near He said, I just think you're depressed This, me, yeah, baby, and the rest Valar tried to make me go to rehab But I said, no, no, no Yes, I been black But when I come back, you'll know, know, know I don't ever want to sing for Eru again I just, oh, I just need a friend I'm not gonna spend ten weeks Have everyone think I'm on the mend And it's not just my pride It's just till the Noldor have died [chorus]
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 1:51pm
Post #5 of 26
(6290 views)
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I think Middle-earth, The Musical ought to have Gandalf describe his imprisonment in Orthanc in the style of Aerosmith/Run DMC (After 'Walk This Way - see https://youtu.be/4B_UYYPb-Gk ) Backstabbin' wizard, looking shifty like a lizard, He tricked me up to Orthanc and he say He said "there's no overpowerin' a dude as bad as Sauron, So you ought to be a changin' your ways. "Sauron thinks I'm his cheerleader, but I'll outwit that daft geezer With the really awesome power of my voice Ah, you think that I am barmy; well I'll show you round my army I'm insisting and you've really no choice." Trapped star-gazing on a really windy tower, with my beard flyin' up in the air Singing hey ding-a-ling I'll miss the war of the Ring It was too much for a wizard to bear. So it might not be legal, but I summoned up an eagle He said "I ain't gonna carry you all day I'll set you down in Rohan, that's as far as I am goin', but you should outrun the wargs this way Wargs this way, wargs this way..." "He just give me a lift...like this..." -- The video should obviously cut to Orthanc to include a long distorted guitar solo by Saruman, who has a mind of metal, they say....
~~~~~~ "Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 1:53pm
Post #6 of 26
(6272 views)
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~~~~~~ "Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 2:05pm
Post #7 of 26
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OMG, serously ROFL over this one!!! //
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 2:35pm
Post #8 of 26
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Beren's Song (as performed by Imagine Baggins)
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Whoa, oh, oh Whoa, oh, oh Whoa, oh, oh Whoa I'm walking out of ash and dust I wipe my brow, clean my sword of rust I'm breathing in the forest air I'm breaking in, to Doriath, and checking out the hemlock bells Is this it, the elf kingdom? Whoa. That singing now, I feel it in my bones Enough to make my systems blow Welcome to the first age, to the first age Welcome to the first age, to the first age Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, that elf's attractive, that elf's attractive! Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, that elf's attractive, that elf's attractive... Well, OK it's 'Radioactive' by Imagine Dragons really - see https://youtu.be/ktvTqknDobU
~~~~~~ "Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.
(This post was edited by noWizardme on Sep 23 2018, 2:36pm)
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 2:51pm
Post #9 of 26
(6271 views)
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Radioactive by Imagine Dragons is one of my favorites
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Even if it's a little nonsensical. The video they made with stuffed animals fighting is hilarious. Maybe Beren needed a stuffed rabbit on his side.
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 3:15pm
Post #10 of 26
(6266 views)
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The Bee Gees meet The One Ring (Stayin' Alive)
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By special request, The One Ring asked this song to be sung at its funeral: Well, you can tell by the way they use my thing I'm a magic curse, no normal ring Gollum proud and Bilbo warm, I've been passed around Since I was born And now I'm alright, you're pureed Gandalf may look the other way Boromir, try to understand The Ring of Power's effect on man Whether you're a Valar or whether you're a mallard You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive Feel Mt Doom breakin' and sissy Elves shakin' And we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive Well now, I tempt low and never high Betrayed Isildur; with Frodo, always try Got the poem of Sauron inside of me It's invisible, you just can't see You know it's alright, it's okay I'll live to see another day Galadriel, don't freak out, queen My nuclear effect on screen Whether you're a fire or whether you're a pyre I am stayin' alive, stayin' alive Feel Gollum meltin' and my precious smeltin' Dang! No more stayin' alive, stayin' alive Ow, ow ow, ow, burnin' alive, burnin' alive Ow, ow, ow, ow, meltin' alive-----
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 3:30pm
Post #11 of 26
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There's a wizard who's sure Moria glitters with gold And he's buying Durin's Stair to heaven When he gets there he knows If the doors are all closed With Mellon he can get what he came for Oh oh oh oh and he's buying Durin's Stair to heaven Narvi's sign's on the wall Mithril clues should make you sure But you know sometimes words have two meanings In a hall past the door There's a balrog with wings Sometimes all of our spells are misgiving Ooh, it makes me wonder Ooh, it makes me wonder There's a feeling I get When I look to the West And my spirit is crying for leaving In my thoughts I have seen Lothlorien through the trees Galadriel's Mirror is watching Ooh, it makes me wonder Ooh, it really makes me wonder And it's whispered that soon, By the next phase of Moon Saruman will lead us to treason But a new day will dawn After Pelennor-fighting all day long Minas Tirith will echo with laughter
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 3:58pm
Post #12 of 26
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woah - if you read this backwards you find out exactly who Tom Bombadil is! :) //
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~~~~~~ "Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 3:59pm
Post #13 of 26
(6254 views)
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If you've got Ring fever, Ring fever: you've got a right to show it... :) //
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~~~~~~ "Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 4:32pm
Post #14 of 26
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Wait, I thought that song in reverse was satanic
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which makes Bombadil into Satan. But then, he showed up just a little too soon at the Barrow, as if he were waiting outside all along to listen to the hobbits die horrible deaths, so I guess it all fits now.
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 4:37pm
Post #15 of 26
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The Witch King's Lament (in the style of The Killers)
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I think the Witch King ought to soliloquise his frustrations about the failed attack on Weathertop, something like this (after Somebody Told Me, by The Killers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5fBdpreJiU ): Rippin' my cloak just to get the Ring Your hard to track and I've had it with this thing Rippin' my cloak just to get the Ring But help ain't close in a place like this Anything goes but don't blink, you might miss 'Cause Gandalf ain't close in a place like this I said Gandalf ain't close in a place like this Bring the Ring down, bring it back down tonight Never thought I'd let a Ranger ruin my moonlight Well nobody told me that you were a elf-friend With what looked like a wraith-blade That carries a Nazgul curse, or so I hear It's not confidential, that blade's got potential Ready let's roll onto something new Takin' it's toll that I'm leaving without you 'Cause Gandalf ain't close in a place like this I said Gandalf ain't close in a place like this Bring the Ring down, bring it back down tonight Never thought I'd let a Ranger ruin my moonlight Well nobody told me that you were a elf-friend With what looked like a wraith-blade...
~~~~~~ "Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 5:17pm
Post #16 of 26
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That cloak had probably been in his family for years
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He was really just trying to get back Sauron's Ring, and after all, no one disputed it was his. So you try to recover your boss's rightful property, and nassty hobbitses go and slash your heirloom garments. Then fast-forward to a battlefield where a girl who's there UNDER FALSE PRETENSES cuts off the head of your favorite steed. It's a hard life, being a Witch-king.
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 5:35pm
Post #17 of 26
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Well nobody told me that you're a shieldmaiden /That I should be evadin'... //
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~~~~~~ "Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 8:40pm
Post #18 of 26
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Elves just wanna have fun (after Cyndi Lauper)
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Making jewels to include living light Yavana says, "When you gonna live your life right?" Yavana dear, we're not the fortunate ones And elves- they wanna have fun Oh, elves just wanna have fun Palantir rings in the middle of the night and Manwe yells, "What you gonna do with your life?" Oh Manwe dear, you know you're still number one But elves -they wanna have fun Oh, elves just wanna have... That's all they really want Some fun When the working day is done Oh, elves- they wanna have fun Oh, elves just wanna have fun.... [Chorus] Elves They want Wanna have fun Elves Wanna have... The valar took those beautiful elves And hid them away from the rest of the world I wanna be the one to walk in the sun Oh, Elves—they wanna have fun Oh, Elves just wanna have... That's all they really want Some fun When the working day is done Oh, Elves -they wanna have fun Oh, Elves just wanna have fun... [and so on...] Cyndi Lauper, Girls Just Want To Have Fun, original version:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-A Also worth hearing - Extraordinary minor key cover version by Chase Holfelder https://youtu.be/MCJh4a5iAqw It gives the song a whole new feel.
~~~~~~ "Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.
(This post was edited by noWizardme on Sep 23 2018, 8:48pm)
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 9:44pm
Post #19 of 26
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Moria door inscription anagram
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You reminded me of this bit of fun(I think the second anagram is better, myself):
Ennyn Durin Aran Moria. Pedo mellon a minno. Im Narvi hain echant. Celebrimbor o Eregion teithant i thiw hin. = I'm main entrance into Dwarven hall. I'm iron; no enemy, human or hobbit, can enter. Thing in pool, I hear in air. Die. = Hi, human idiot. I am main entrance into Dwarven hall. I'm iron; no enemy can enter, nor bribe. I hear thing in pool. part of a collection of 'best-ever' anagrams, here https://wordsmith.org/anagram/hof.html ~~~~~~ "Go down to the shovel store and take your pick." Traditional prank played on dwarves when they start down the mine.
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Sep 23 2018, 11:44pm
Post #20 of 26
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Faramir's semi-stalkerish love song to Eowyn, or The Beatles' "Lovely Rita"
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Lovely Eo, shielded maid Strider can't come between us When Gondor gets dark I tow your heart away Standing by a fallen king-o When I caught a glimpse of Eo Wiping off the orc blood from a little white Took As Ms Dernhelm she looked much older And the armor across her shoulder Made her look a little like a military man Lovely Eo, shielded maid May I inquire discreetly When are you free to kill some orcs with me? Eo! With athelas, I tried to win her Healed us both, and over dinner Told her I would really like to see her again Got an orc and Eo flayed it Took her home, I nearly made it Sitting on the sofa with a Nazgul or two Oh, lovely Eo, shielded maid Let Strider get married without you Then see a shrink who'll make you think of me!
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grammaboodawg
Immortal
Sep 24 2018, 1:58am
Post #21 of 26
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Old Time Orcs and Trolls [inspired by Old Time Rock and Roll]
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Short, but oh so sweet :) [Still Like Those] Old Time Orcs and Trolls Sung by an Orc Overseer [from Bob Seger's Old Time Rock and Roll] Just take those old shackles off the shelf Ain't had 'em on the wall since fightin' elf Today's torture ain't got the same soul I miss those old time orcs and trolls Still like those old time orcs and trolls They're snorts and slathering just soothed my soul I miss their glee at spearing maggoty holes Could Sharkey bring back some orcs and trolls? ...He what?!?
We have been there and back again. TIME Google Calendar
(This post was edited by grammaboodawg on Sep 24 2018, 2:01am)
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sevilodorf
Tol Eressea
Sep 24 2018, 2:49am
Post #22 of 26
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Serious Oldie.... Oscar Party with apologies to Ricky Nelson
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OSCAR PARTY apologies to Rick Nelson Sevilodorf 3/26/02 Went to an Oscar party, To celebrate with many friends, A chance to make some memories, Talk the film again. When I got to the Oscar party, Was a list with my name, Matched against my driver’s license I didn’t look the same. But it’s all right now, I’ve learned my lesson well. See you can’t wear high heels, When you’ve got to stand for hours. People came from miles around. Everyone was there. Richard brought his mother, PJ combed his hair. Over in the corner, Sat Ian and his friend, Many folks surrounded him, But “You SHALL NOT win.” But it’s all right now, I’ve learned my lesson well. See you can’t wear high heels, When you’ve got to stand for hours. Watched the whole awards show. Cheered loudly at the wins. Vowed that we’d do better, We’ll be back again. I said “Hello” to many folks. They think a lot like me. Then I saw it was 2 AM It was time to leave. But it’s all right now, I’ve learned my lesson well. See you can’t wear high heels, When you’ve got to stand for hours. I went back in the daylight. The famous stars to see. Walking in their footsteps, Would be all right with me. Now if you’ve got to see the Oscars, I offer this advice. Buy your tickets early, And dress up really nice
Fourth Age Adventures at the Inn of the Burping Troll http://burpingtroll.com Home of TheOneRing.net Best FanFic stories of 2005 and 2006 "The Last Grey Ship" and "Ashes, East Wind, Hope That Rises" by Erin Rua (Found in Mathoms, LOTR Tales Untold)
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Sep 24 2018, 12:39pm
Post #23 of 26
(6200 views)
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"Today's torture ain't got the same soul" -- classic! //
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L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens
Sep 25 2018, 2:34am
Post #24 of 26
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Don't try to ask me riddles in the dark/ I'd rather kill some Dwarves or filthy old tarks./
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