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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Reading Room:
One Ring as if I had written it

dlnewhouse
Bree


Jul 21 2018, 9:04pm

Post #1 of 8 (1786 views)
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One Ring as if I had written it Can't Post

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men, doomed to die.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them.
One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.


Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Jul 21 2018, 10:01pm

Post #2 of 8 (1761 views)
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Sorry. [In reply to] Can't Post

I like Tolkien's version better--much better if I'm being honest!

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
...Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
...One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.
...One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
...One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.


"For a brief time I was here; and for a brief time I mattered." - Harlan Ellison

(This post was edited by Otaku-sempai on Jul 21 2018, 10:06pm)


noWizardme
Valinor


Jul 22 2018, 6:51am

Post #3 of 8 (1710 views)
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Iíd be interested to know - why the change? [In reply to] Can't Post

Welcome to the Reading Room, dlnewhouse!

It would be interesting to know what it is that causes you to prefer this edited version: can you say?

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


dlnewhouse
Bree


Jul 22 2018, 6:55am

Post #4 of 8 (1711 views)
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One Ring to rule them all [In reply to] Can't Post

My version makes it sound as if even God should fear the Lord of the Rings.


noWizardme
Valinor


Jul 22 2018, 7:42am

Post #5 of 8 (1705 views)
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Not getting that, Iím afraid [In reply to] Can't Post

Iím not seeing how your edit has that effect (that is, it is not the effect itís having on me, and of course all I can do is to report my reactions). Perhaps Iíll understand how you feel your edit has that effect if you explain further, or maybe itís the kind of thing somebody Ďgetsí or doesnít, and analysis and discussion arenít helpful. (If so, I suggest asking an admin to move this off the board specifically dedicated to analysis and discussion:) )

My first guess about you edit is that you disliked the originalís rhyming scheme:
A:...sky
B:Stone
A:die
B: throne
A: lie.
Perhaps unexpectedly, No B.

You have already explained that my guess was wrong - I just wanted to point out the extent of the gulf between you as editor/rewriter and me as reader. (I also used to find the rhyming scheme jarring, and would be willing to discuss why I no longer do).

Another kettle of fish is whether it *should* sound as if God should fear (insofar as there is a God in Middle-earth, Eru being the nearest candidate). Thatís also something we might discuss, if folks are interested.

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


noWizardme
Valinor


Jul 22 2018, 10:16am

Post #6 of 8 (1702 views)
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Markup version for comparison - and some comments [In reply to] Can't Post

In case it's helpful for further discussion, here's the poem with struck-through text for dlnewhouse deletions, and italics for the inserted (moved) line.

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men, doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

It causes me to think that maybe Tolkien positioned 'One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne' where he did because it completes the catalogue of Rings, before moving onto a chant-like section describing the properties of that One Ring (and then a final repeat of the 'In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie'). For myself, I like it that way - it seems in keeping with one of the the verse's pretend functions: a mnemonic by which someone might remember how many rings there were and who had them. Tolkien makes up another example in 'seven stars and seven stones and one white tree'.

Tolkien's organization also, of course, gives the 'catalogue section' an ABAB rhyming scheme - to me something is lost by moving 'throne' to rhyme with 'stone'.

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


dlnewhouse
Bree


Aug 20 2018, 10:23am

Post #7 of 8 (1042 views)
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remarche The Lord of the Rings [In reply to] Can't Post

The problem with that version is that a student named Ben Russell punched me in the face when the teacher, Joe Ann Tabor, asked me to come up with my own version. He said "I know what he's trying to say" and recited this very poem! You can't have an education system with fuglies or Republicans, nobody with any talent will ever get credit for their work.

Also, when I started reading it, my mother deliberately interrupted me while reading Lord of the Rings so I couldn't remember Durin's Halls, the poem Gimli recites when he enters Moria.

Also, please remarche the police, they said I should have been arrested. They like to arrest people who get punched so they can go to hell.

Daniel L Newhouse


dlnewhouse
Bree


Aug 20 2018, 9:30pm

Post #8 of 8 (1034 views)
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good at math [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To
The problem with that version is that a student named Ben Russell punched me in the face when the teacher, Joe Ann Tabor, asked me to come up with my own version. He said "I know what he's trying to say" and recited this very poem!


I was told by Joe Ann Tabor "That's what you get for being a good at math."

Daniel L Newhouse

 
 

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