Our Sponsor Sideshow Collectibles Send us News
Lord of the Rings Tolkien
Search Tolkien
Lord of The RingsTheOneRing.net - Forged By And For Fans Of JRR Tolkien
Lord of The Rings Serving Middle-Earth Since The First Age

Lord of the Rings Movie News - J.R.R. Tolkien
Do you enjoy the 100% volunteer, not for profit services of TheOneRing.net?
Consider a donation!

  Main Index   Search Posts   Who's Online   Log in
The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Fan Art:
Wrote a new Middle Earth Story

Wainrider
Bree

Jun 30, 6:22am

Post #1 of 25 (4940 views)
Shortcut
Wrote a new Middle Earth Story Can't Post

I wrote a new fan-fiction story set in the North of Middle earth. In the story Sam and his family ride off to meet Aragorn at the ancient capital of Arnor and some mysterious and dangerous events happen.


(This post was edited by Wainrider on Jun 30, 6:24am)
Attachments: HObbitSStory.docx (35.2 KB)


Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Jun 30, 11:07am

Post #2 of 25 (4899 views)
Shortcut
Can't access it! [In reply to] Can't Post

Apparently I can't view the file for your Middle-earth story unless I have Office.

"I may be on the side of the angels, but do not think for one second that I am one of them." - Sherlock

(This post was edited by Otaku-sempai on Jun 30, 11:08am)


Wainrider
Bree

Jun 30, 5:50pm

Post #3 of 25 (4867 views)
Shortcut
can't open file [In reply to] Can't Post

I can't save it as a text file, somehow that's bigger than office. I thought everyone on the planet had software that could read office files? There are free programs that are office compatible for PC and Linux, but you should be able to save it and then open it with word pad or something similar.


Wainrider
Bree

Jul 2, 11:44pm

Post #4 of 25 (4815 views)
Shortcut
Story [In reply to] Can't Post

So did anyone like my story??


Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Jul 3, 12:30am

Post #5 of 25 (4812 views)
Shortcut
Apparently, I'll never know. [In reply to] Can't Post

I still can't see it to read it.

"For a brief time I was here; and for a brief time I mattered." - Harlan Ellison


Silverlode
Forum Admin / Moderator


Jul 3, 3:38am

Post #6 of 25 (4798 views)
Shortcut
What formats can you open? [In reply to] Can't Post

Maybe Wainrider or I can re-save it in another format that will upload. Can you read older Word files - .doc instead of .docx?

Silverlode

Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known.




Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Jul 3, 12:11pm

Post #7 of 25 (4769 views)
Shortcut
PDF files for certain. [In reply to] Can't Post

Maybe .doc files. These days I have many of my documents and manuscripts on Google Doc, not on my hard drive. The ones I do have on hard drive are mostly PDFs of gaming books and supplements and JPEGs for maps and character sheets.

My work on Google I can send as attachments in the following formats:
- PDF
- Microsoft Word (.docx)
- Rich Text (RTF)
- HTML
- Plain Text
- Open Document

"For a brief time I was here; and for a brief time I mattered." - Harlan Ellison


entmaiden
Forum Admin / Moderator


Jul 3, 1:45pm

Post #8 of 25 (4764 views)
Shortcut
I looked into saving as a PDF file [In reply to] Can't Post

but the file size was too large. Doc might work


Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Jul 3, 3:06pm

Post #9 of 25 (4762 views)
Shortcut
I may have to break down and get the Microsoft Office app. [In reply to] Can't Post

I had actually saved a copy of my review of the Bree sourcebook for The One Ring RPG to my hard drive and it saved as a .docx file. So I can't look at that file unless I can figure out how to convert it to another format or I get the app (fortunately I don't need to since I already have it saved on Google Doc).

Actually, I can view my review using Word Pad, though that doesn't support all of the functions used for writing the article. Btw, I submitted that review for the TORN homepage ages ago and never heard back from anybody.

"For a brief time I was here; and for a brief time I mattered." - Harlan Ellison


(This post was edited by Otaku-sempai on Jul 3, 3:13pm)


Wainrider
Bree

Jul 3, 11:04pm

Post #10 of 25 (4731 views)
Shortcut
File [In reply to] Can't Post

I am splitting this into two files, since this site has the stupidest size limit in world history.
Attachments: HObbitSStory.rtf (43.0 KB)


Wainrider
Bree

Jul 3, 11:05pm

Post #11 of 25 (4728 views)
Shortcut
Part two [In reply to] Can't Post

Here is the second half.
Attachments: HobbitStory2.rtf (36.1 KB)


sevilodorf
Grey Havens


Jul 15, 9:45pm

Post #12 of 25 (3939 views)
Shortcut
alternative to Microsoft office is Apache Open Office// [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Fourth Age Adventures at the Inn of the Burping Troll http://burpingtroll.com
Home of TheOneRing.net Best FanFic stories of 2005 and 2006 "The Last Grey Ship" and "Ashes, East Wind, Hope That Rises" by Erin Rua

(Found in Mathoms, LOTR Tales Untold)




sevilodorf
Grey Havens


Jul 15, 9:46pm

Post #13 of 25 (3941 views)
Shortcut
Gentle hobbity tale. [In reply to] Can't Post

Characterization of hobbit children is well done.

Do you have other stories housed online?

Fourth Age Adventures at the Inn of the Burping Troll http://burpingtroll.com
Home of TheOneRing.net Best FanFic stories of 2005 and 2006 "The Last Grey Ship" and "Ashes, East Wind, Hope That Rises" by Erin Rua

(Found in Mathoms, LOTR Tales Untold)




Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Jul 15, 11:26pm

Post #14 of 25 (3920 views)
Shortcut
Nice. [In reply to] Can't Post

Other than a few quibbles about inconsistent capitalization and other minor matters, your story reads very well. I do question the route taken by the hobbits to Annúminas as I am very doubtful that there would be any serviceable roads leading out of the Shire to Lake Evendim. It seems much more likely that they would have ridden the waggon along the East Road to Bree and then turned north on the Greenway. As you point out, King Elessar's people would have begun the restoration of the old capital of Arnor and that would have included laying down a new road between Annúminas and Deadman's Dike (Fornost Erain) and a new bridge crossing the Brandywine (though a ferry might have to serve for a while).

Is this supposes to replace the 1436 (S.R.) reunion between Aragorn and his hobbit friends at the Brandywine Bridge (Appendix B)? I'm having a hard time sussing out the year in which this takes place, but it seems earlier than that. Samwise and Rose had many children*, but Little Sam seems to be an invention of your own. More thoughts later.

* Elanor (1421), Frodo (1423), Rose(1425), Merry (1427), Pippin (1429), Goldilocks (1431), Hamfast (1432), Daisy (1433), Primrose (1435), Bilbo (1436), Ruby (1438), Robin (1440) and Tolman (Tom; 1442).

"For a brief time I was here; and for a brief time I mattered." - Harlan Ellison


Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Jul 16, 1:14am

Post #15 of 25 (3900 views)
Shortcut
More thoughts. [In reply to] Can't Post

It's disappointing that you give no reason for the absence of Master Mariadoc from your tale. Surely very little could have prevented him from joining this little group and it's unthinkable that he wouldn't have been invited. Likewise, young Rose was not Sam and Rosie's firstborn; that would be Elanor. Little Rose was their third child, after Frodo. And I'm still wondering where young Sam came from.

Other factual discrepencies:
- The King under the Mountain after Dain was his son Thorin III (Stonehelm).
- The Lossoth would not have been beast-men. They would probably have resembled the Sami people of Lapland, and Tolkien might have even reckoned the Snowmen as their ancestors.
- Rosie and Sam have been marries for years now. If you give her full name, it should be "Rose Gamgee', not 'Rose Cotton'.
- It really should be no surprise to Aragorn or his kinsmen that Hillmen still dwell in the Hills of Angmar or in the vicinity of Mount Gram.
- It bothers me that you never have Aragorn attempt to treat young Rose. These are Dúnedain lands and Athelas and other medicinal herbs should be at hand. "The hands of the King are the hands of a healer." This is a missed opportunity.
- We never learn what brought the dwarf Angmir to the region or how other Blue Mountain Dwarves were assembled so quickly. If he was simply traveling between the Ered Luin and the Lonely Mountain he ought to have been using the East Road, not wandering around so far north of Bree-land.

It's not a bad story at all; however, it could definitely use more research into Tolkien's legendarium and a good polish. And maybe less bouncing around from one set of characters to another. Maybe set such segments apart with some sort of divider (* * *). I hope you don't think my posts have been too critical. You went to so much trouble to put your story out here that I assume you want honest feedback.

"For a brief time I was here; and for a brief time I mattered." - Harlan Ellison

(This post was edited by Otaku-sempai on Jul 16, 1:25am)


Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Jul 16, 4:46pm

Post #16 of 25 (3845 views)
Shortcut
Book vs, Films [In reply to] Can't Post

I realize that you might be working more off the Peter Jackson films than on Tolkien's The Lord of the Rins, so I took another look at the end of Jackson's Return of the King.
- The final scenes take place four years after Frodo was wounded on Weathertop, instead of three years after as in the book. But in the legendarium the Ring-bearers left in the year 1421 (Shire Reckoning); in the film it is probably S.R. 1405,

- Elanor (Alexandra Astin) is still Sam and Rosie's oldest but she is older, not an infant. Baby Gamgee (Maisie McLeod-Riera) isn't identified by name, but could be meant to be either young Frodo or young Rose as their second-born (though neither should have been born yet according to the genealogies).

- Celeborn seems to have boarded the ship to Valinor with the Ring-bearers, though since this is said in the film to be the 'Last Ship' it's not that big of a difference.

Rough Timeline of Peter Jackson's War of the Ring:
Year -- Event
3000 -- September 22: Bilbo's farewell party.
3001 -- Frodo and Sam set out for Rivendell in the autumn. October 25: The Council of Elrond.
3002 -- January: Gandalf falls in Moria. February: The Fellowship is broken. March: The Battle of the Hornburg; the Battle of the Pelennor Fields; the Ring is destroyed in Mount Doom. May: The crowning of King Elessar; the wedding of Elessar and Arwen. The Hobbits arrive home in the autumn, a year to the day after setting out.
3003 -- May 1: Samwise Gamgee marries Rose Cotton.
3004 -- March 25: Birth of Elanor the Fair, daughter of Samwise.
3005 -- Birth of Sam's second child. Bilbo and Frodo depart over the Sea with the Three Keepers and Celeborn.

"For a brief time I was here; and for a brief time I mattered." - Harlan Ellison

(This post was edited by Otaku-sempai on Jul 16, 4:48pm)


Wainrider
Bree

Jul 16, 11:22pm

Post #17 of 25 (3806 views)
Shortcut
Middle Earth Stories [In reply to] Can't Post

Yes I wrote one about the East of MIddle Earth 3 or 4 years ago. It isn't really written like a novel because it was a text game first, but has a lot of interesting stuff in it.


Wainrider
Bree

Jul 16, 11:26pm

Post #18 of 25 (3799 views)
Shortcut
Story [In reply to] Can't Post

I'm pretty sure I said that they THOUGHT the Lossoth may be beast men. The idea is that they wear lots of skins and maybe facepaint or masks and other stuff that makes it hard to tell what they look like.

As for other discrepancies, I am now half a century old so give me a break! i just tried to write a story about Eriador because I've always been fascinated by it. Probably because it's a lot like Washington where i'm from.


Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Jul 17, 2:28am

Post #19 of 25 (3786 views)
Shortcut
Youngster! [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To
I'm pretty sure I said that they THOUGHT the Lossoth may be beast men. The idea is that they wear lots of skins and maybe facepaint or masks and other stuff that makes it hard to tell what they look like.


Your description was pretty vivid and your Lossoth did not come off to me as seeming fully human. But I admit I think I read too much into it. Another reading of that passage showed me where I went astray! Perhaps I've watched too much anime. In any case, I let my imagination run away with me.

Sorry, though. I cannot let you off due to your age as I am closer to sixty than to fifty myself! Tongue If anyone is going to write a story set in Middle-earth, it behooves them to at least do minimal research as appropriate. If the tale uses Peter Jackson's films as its background, re-watch any relevant scenes and/or check the cast credits for information. Living in western New York, I can relate to comparing the state of Washington to Eriador (or to parts of Rhovanion).

If someone wants me to read a fanfic I often refuse because I cannot do so without looking at it as an editor might (not necessarily a great one, but at least like a copy editor). I try to be nice about it. Ask Kilidoescartwheels about how much grief I gave her over one of her stories!

"For a brief time I was here; and for a brief time I mattered." - Harlan Ellison

(This post was edited by Otaku-sempai on Jul 17, 2:36am)


sevilodorf
Grey Havens


Jul 17, 3:03pm

Post #20 of 25 (3695 views)
Shortcut
The Burping Troll began as a role playing free for all [In reply to] Can't Post

And with the talents of a few very good writers and the obsessive compulsions of others we achieved our own version of Middle Earth and wrote thousands and thousands of words that kept us entertained for over a decade. Though the group is no longer cohesive we still occasionally visit.

One thing we found really useful was to decide how true to canon we would be and what extra spins we could accept when we veered off the "true" path. The battles/brawls that raged over things like the redeemability of orcs, the lifestyle s of elves and exactly how much were the "lower level" maiar present and involved in the lives of the people were epic and insightful.

Another point that raised our writing level was proofreading. We found that as the author you know what it says so often you read it that way even when there's errors in spelling or grammar or punctuation. Fresh eyes are always good.

Are you focused on hobbits or do you explore the other peoples of Middle Earth? Keep writing, it's a great brain workout.

Fourth Age Adventures at the Inn of the Burping Troll http://burpingtroll.com
Home of TheOneRing.net Best FanFic stories of 2005 and 2006 "The Last Grey Ship" and "Ashes, East Wind, Hope That Rises" by Erin Rua

(Found in Mathoms, LOTR Tales Untold)




Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Jul 17, 3:20pm

Post #21 of 25 (3692 views)
Shortcut
Oh, certainly! [In reply to] Can't Post

I wouldn't want Wainrider to stop writing stories (Middle-earth or otherwise) because of my picky comments. I would just hope for more thought-out and better researched writing. Though I make no claim to be an expert, I am available for consultation on research matters if Wainrider or others wish to p.m. me.

"For a brief time I was here; and for a brief time I mattered." - Harlan Ellison

(This post was edited by Otaku-sempai on Jul 17, 3:21pm)


Wainrider
Bree

Jul 18, 12:49am

Post #22 of 25 (3626 views)
Shortcut
picky [In reply to] Can't Post

This is fan fiction, not US history.

I find it hard to fathom such criticism when the story takes place in a time that isn't really covered in the writings, in a place that was never well described.


Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Jul 18, 1:11am

Post #23 of 25 (3624 views)
Shortcut
True [In reply to] Can't Post

But a story could be brilliant, sublime and worthy of multiple awards as a stand-alone tale and still be a terrible Middle-earth story. You went out of your way to make the story accessible after I explained that I couldn't readily download it, so I felt I owed you honest feedback.

By the way, you never clarified whether your tale was supposed to be set in Tolkien's M-e or in the continuity of Peter Jackson's films, or what year in which it takes place?

"For a brief time I was here; and for a brief time I mattered." - Harlan Ellison

(This post was edited by Otaku-sempai on Jul 18, 1:19am)


Wainrider
Bree

Jul 22, 1:01am

Post #24 of 25 (3223 views)
Shortcut
My other Middle-Earth story [In reply to] Can't Post

Here is the link for my other Middle-Earth story. It was written as a game originally, do the character has no name and hardly any backstory, but there's a lot of interesting stuff in here.

http://newboards.theonering.net/forum/gforum/perl/gforum.cgi?post=855208;#855208


Asger
Bree


Jul 22, 5:59pm

Post #25 of 25 (3159 views)
Shortcut
I just read your story [In reply to] Can't Post

And I must admit that Otaku is right. I would advise you to go through it once again with his critics in mind, change what you think should be changed and leave the rest as is. I have written on a fanfic-story for more Than 30 years, Way before it was called fanfic, and would love to get that kind of critic, even if it would make me feel bad for weeks. Well, nobody wants to beta a story of +400 pages in the obscure language of Danish (Aint that something you eat?) Wink

"Don't take life seriously, it ain't nohow permanent!" Pogo
www.willy-centret.dk

 
 

Search for (options) Powered by Gossamer Forum v.1.2.3

home | advertising | contact us | back to top | search news | join list | Content Rating

This site is maintained and updated by fans of The Lord of the Rings, and is in no way affiliated with Tolkien Enterprises or the Tolkien Estate. We in no way claim the artwork displayed to be our own. Copyrights and trademarks for the books, films, articles, and other promotional materials are held by their respective owners and their use is allowed under the fair use clause of the Copyright Law. Design and original photography however are copyright © 1999-2012 TheOneRing.net. Binary hosting provided by Nexcess.net

Do not follow this link, or your host will be blocked from this site. This is a spider trap.