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Darkstone
Immortal
May 22 2018, 5:52pm
Post #1 of 15
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
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The Reading Room is discussing the first chapter of The Hobbit. "You seem to remember my fireworks kindly, at any rate, and that is not without hope. Indeed for your old grand-father Took’s sake, and for the sake of poor Belladonna, I will give you what you asked for.” “I beg your pardon, I haven’t asked for anything!” "Yes, you have! Twice now. My pardon. I give it you. In fact I will go so far as to send you on this adventure. Very amusing for me, very good for you and profitable too, very likely, if you ever get over it.” What was the *real* reason Gandalf sent Bilbo off on an adventure?
****************************************** “Did you say 'You Shall Not Pass' or 'You Shall Not Sass'?" asked the Balrog. "I said 'You Shall Not Pass,'” replied Gandalf; "and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy." "All right," said the Balrog; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of its wings, and ending with its shadow, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. 'Well! I've often seen wings without a Balrog,' thought Gandalf; `but a Balrog without wings! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!’ -The Adventures of Gandalf in Middle-earth Land
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Attalus
Lorien
May 22 2018, 6:22pm
Post #2 of 15
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He was in their pay! Gandalf wanted...
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...to get Bilbo out of the way so that the S-B's could loot Bag End.
We are the fighting Uruk-Hai! We slew the great warrior! Well, yeah, first he killed a bunch of us and another whole lot of Mauhúr's lads, and we had to shoot enough arrows into him to drop a Mûmak. But we got him!
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Greenwood Hobbit
Valinor
May 22 2018, 6:49pm
Post #3 of 15
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There was only so much of Bilbo's whittering that Gandalf could take...
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Lissuin
Valinor
May 22 2018, 8:20pm
Post #4 of 15
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Candid Camera, The Dating Game, Survivor, Big Brother, The Amazing Race, My Kitchen Rules, and the Unreal Housewives of Everywhere have all been loosely based on QUEST: Thirteen Dwarves and a Hobbit - The Real-Life Adventures of Real Heroes. The Truman Show was a more faithful-to-the-concept, but very pallid, later adaptation of a show wherein millions were allowed to secretly follow the ups and downs of the life of an unwitting, non-consenting protagonist for 24 hours a day while a powerful, egomaniacal executive producer called the shots. With well-targeted advertising, these millions were coaxed to buy lots of stuff they didn't need, which paid for the show, of course. T-shirts, bobbleheads, pencil cases and lunch boxes flew off the shelves. "Very amusing for me, very good for you and profitable too, very likely, if you ever get over it.” Indeed. Gandalf could be called the original show runner. In the interest of complete disclosure, at the age of 18 I auditioned for The Dating Game but was not hired. My career languished for 42 years following that disappointment.
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CuriousG
Half-elven
May 22 2018, 9:03pm
Post #5 of 15
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It was Saruman disguised as Gandalf, and he wanted him to find the Ring. Which he did. But he thought it would be safe in the Shire until he was ready to collect it, and you must admit, Gandalf dithered about it for decades while doing nothing, so it was a sound strategy for Saruman, the true hero of LOTR.
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L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens
May 23 2018, 5:47pm
Post #7 of 15
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The Blue Wizards turned up unexpectedly and he had to find them a vacant place to crash./
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And Rose drew him in, and set him on the harpsichord bench, and put little Wilhelm Friedemann upon his lap. He began composing a fugue. 'Well, I'm Bach,' he said.
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hanne
Lorien
May 23 2018, 7:54pm
Post #8 of 15
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Darkstone
Immortal
May 23 2018, 8:24pm
Post #10 of 15
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So he turned Bag End into an Airdnd. /
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****************************************** “Did you say 'You Shall Not Pass' or 'You Shall Not Sass'?" asked the Balrog. "I said 'You Shall Not Pass,'” replied Gandalf; "and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy." "All right," said the Balrog; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of its wings, and ending with its shadow, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. 'Well! I've often seen wings without a Balrog,' thought Gandalf; `but a Balrog without wings! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!’ -The Adventures of Gandalf in Middle-earth Land
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Attalus
Lorien
May 23 2018, 8:40pm
Post #11 of 15
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We are the fighting Uruk-Hai! We slew the great warrior! Well, yeah, first he killed a bunch of us and another whole lot of Mauhúr's lads, and we had to shoot enough arrows into him to drop a Mûmak. But we got him!
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
May 23 2018, 8:45pm
Post #12 of 15
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Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..." Dwarves: "Pretty rings..." Men: "Pretty rings..." Sauron: "Mine's better." "Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak. Ataahua's stories
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Otaku-sempai
Immortal
May 24 2018, 12:59am
Post #13 of 15
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With complementary dice?
"I may be on the side of the angels, but do not think for one second that I am one of them." - Sherlock
(This post was edited by Otaku-sempai on May 24 2018, 1:01am)
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L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens
May 24 2018, 1:09am
Post #14 of 15
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And Rose drew him in, and set him on the harpsichord bench, and put little Wilhelm Friedemann upon his lap. He began composing a fugue. 'Well, I'm Bach,' he said.
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