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Hamfast Gamgee
Tol Eressea
Apr 21 2018, 9:27pm
Post #1 of 20
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Middle-Earth conspiracy theories, Dwarves and Elves
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Now, according to both the book and the movies, after the battle of five armies, relations between Elves and Dwarves in that part of the world where all sweetness and light and they where best of friends. Hmmmmmmm, not sure that I buy that. So, I was wondering what where relations between Dwarves and Elves really like at that time? Actually, personally, maybe they did get the main part right. But nobody mentioned the annual Dwarf v Elf Ice-Hockey match. A genuine grudge one and some of those tackles had to be seen to be believed!
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sevilodorf
Tol Eressea
Apr 22 2018, 6:22pm
Post #2 of 20
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Hmmm what sport would they play?
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Not sure I can see an Ice Hockey match.... dwarves would have an advantage I think....
something more like... chess boxing.... appeal to both sides.
Or maybe....Eukonkanto which Finnish for carrying your wife on your back.... no wait... that wouldn't work for either group as they don't seem to have any wives. Only married Elvish couple is Galadriel and Celeborn.
Shrovetide Football - described as whole village soccer with goals set two miles apart and the only rule is no murder.
Maybe they should just have a fishing competition.
Fourth Age Adventures at the Inn of the Burping Troll http://burpingtroll.com
Home of TheOneRing.net Best FanFic stories of 2005 and 2006 "The Last Grey Ship" and "Ashes, East Wind, Hope That Rises" by Erin Rua
(Found in Mathoms, LOTR Tales Untold)
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No One in Particular
Lorien
Apr 22 2018, 11:22pm
Post #3 of 20
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But I imagine that relations between Dain and Thranduil were probably far more civil than at any time in living memory: after all they went through fire and death together.
I don't think they'd be BFFs or anything, but I imagine there was trade and foot traffic back and forth, at least until the wilds started getting wild again in the run up to the close of the Third Age.
Sports...maybe some kind of multiple event thing, with contests of strength, speed, shooting skill, and so forth. Obviously, the elves usually win the foot races, and the dwarves usually dominate the hammer throws and such. 
While you live, shine
Have no grief at all
Life exists only for a short while
And time demands an end.
Seikilos Epitaph
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Lissuin
Valinor
Apr 23 2018, 1:38am
Post #4 of 20
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Sports, sports, sports. (yawn) Let's talk about the music festivals.
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Recently, a phenomenally well-preserved programme from the inaugural Dwelvish Music Festival of T.A.2942 was showcased on Antiques Roadshow. Anyone else catch that? So exciting! It was discovered in a small, otherwise empty, iron-bound chest by an excavator operator digging cellars for a new housing development in Birmingham.
"I looked down and there was this old box in the bucket. I thought there might be a treasure inside, you know, it looked so old and all, but there was just this brochure with strange writing on it. Site manager said to dump it with the rest of the rubbish, but I decided to take it home to my wife, who enjoys decorating house with the odd piece of old junk."
"Well, you're a good husband - and a very clever one, I might add - to have rescued this old box and brochure. I would most definitely not classify your find as "junk". The box alone, probably of Dwarven make, I expect, would fetch roughly 100 to 125 Pounds."
(Appreciative murmurs from the crowd.)
"Really? That much? That's not half bad, then."
"Yes, but now we come to the really exciting bit! The brochure is actually a programme. This writing, which is in a very ancient script known as Tengwar, reads, "The First Annual Dwelvish Memorial Music Festival, T.A. 2942. A Celebration of Friendship and Culture." Inside are listed all the songs and orchestral pieces performed by both the Elves and the Dwarves for their mutual entertainment. It seems the festival was spread over three days. How exciting would that have been! Then on the back you'll notice it was signed by, I believe we will find, every artist at the festival! Since only one other of these programmes exists in the Bodleian Libraries - minus signatures, mind you - you can see that this is a very rare piece of history, indeed. Without the signatures I'd say this would fetch between 1,000 to 3,000 Pounds."
(Exclamations of surprise from the crowd.)
"Oh...my...goodness!"
"Yes. Now...with these signatures, it is, in fact, nearly priceless, but I will wager to say that at auction I would expect it to bring not less than 10 to 20 THOUSAND Pounds."
(Screams of amazement from the crowd.)
Excavator operator faints dead away.
Anyway, I thought it was interesting.
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sevilodorf
Tol Eressea
Apr 23 2018, 3:35am
Post #5 of 20
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Elves and Dwarves actually have different ranges of hearing?
Maybe that's part of the miscommunication problems. They are missing parts of each other's conversations. Those weren't really slurs but compliments with syllables missing.
Fourth Age Adventures at the Inn of the Burping Troll http://burpingtroll.com
Home of TheOneRing.net Best FanFic stories of 2005 and 2006 "The Last Grey Ship" and "Ashes, East Wind, Hope That Rises" by Erin Rua
(Found in Mathoms, LOTR Tales Untold)
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Otaku-sempai
Immortal
Apr 23 2018, 6:58am
Post #7 of 20
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Like the Dwarves and the Thrush
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You've reminded me of the Dwarves in The Hobbit being able to understand the speech of some birds (such as crows) while not being to follow the speech of the thrush.
"I believe he is trying to tell us something," said Balin; "but I cannot follow the speech of such birds, it is very quick and difficult. Can you make it out Baggins?"
However, I believe the real difficulty between the Dwarves and the Elves came during the festival of Dragontide in the year 2947, when the Wood-elves handily won a basketball competition and also accused the Longbeards of cheating at rugby.
"I may be on the side of the angels, but do not think for one second that I am one of them." - Sherlock
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Apr 23 2018, 10:49am
Post #8 of 20
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Dwarves + Elves, yes; Men were left out of the group hugs
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As witnessed by the highly popular Dwarf/Elf annual event, “Re-enacting the Burning of Laketown,” complete with magical fireworks in the form of the dragon, where all of Esgaroth is burned to the ground. (You didn’t think that firework dragon at Bilbo’s party was one-of-a-kind, did you?)
The Men have no recourse except to sue for property damage every year, represented by Necromancer, Witch-king, & Cersei Lannister, whose motto is “We’ll win your case so fast, your head will spin off.” The gossip in Gondor is that they take that a little too literally.
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NottaSackville
Valinor
Apr 23 2018, 12:29pm
Post #10 of 20
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Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville
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Lissuin
Valinor
Apr 24 2018, 10:47pm
Post #12 of 20
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Cheers, Notta! I see you got to keep your new avatar. ;-D //
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Lissuin
Valinor
Apr 24 2018, 10:53pm
Post #13 of 20
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Thanks, GH. Amazing find, eh? Best to watch every episode so as not to miss something spectacular.//
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Apr 25 2018, 5:19pm
Post #14 of 20
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Which acts played the festival, do you think?
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It reminded me happily of this game: http://newboards.theonering.net/...i?post=605281#605281
which included:
On the main stage, from Erebor, will be the Dwarven Heavy Metal band Baruk Khazad. Their highly distorted electric guitars playing "Smaug on the Water" are likely to cause as much hearing loss as ever.
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The troll band Simple Minds will play a set including the classic Don't You Forget About Thingy.
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Dwarf band Durin Durin also confirmed...
Should be a lively set including:
Hoard in Every World
Elves on Film
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Galadriel (stage name Lady Ga-ga) would seem to be the hot ticket but I do thoroughly recommend getting one of those memorial shields (Algarond make) before going in. I know it looks like cynical marketing, but it's actually essential protection. You have to realise that she has a hard-core following of Dwarves who get frenzied beyond all reason. A custom has grown up of throwing things on stage for her in tribute - and as this is Dwarves, it means things like goblets, mail shirts, axes....
Not that this bothers Lady G, the consummate professional performer, of course. Have you seen that YouTube clip where she catches a thrown axe left handed, flips it over, admires the balance and workmanship, and then hurls it into the bass amp?
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Led Pelican [*because zeppelins were not invented until the Fifth Age] doing their Dwarf crossover tribute...
"Misty Mountain Hop" starts playing...Dwarves in attendance look puzzled..."sittin on the grass with flowers in their hair...
"Sounds like an Elf song to me," is the Dwarf consensus.
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Frodo Goes to Mirkywood: "Relax"
Pink Flói: "Just Another Brick in the Walls of Moria"
Chris de Burrow: "Don't Pay the Shipwright"
Haradrim At Work: "Down Under"
Anárion Swanship: "We Built This City"
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After which the only possible encore would be
Lúthien in the sky with diamonds
After which Muse will play Starlight (pleases the elves) and the Supermassive Black Trolls.
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Is it just me, or does Iron Maiden begin to sound like a dwarven girl band?
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(and, I'm afraid, there was a lot more....)
~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm
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Lissuin
Valinor
Apr 25 2018, 8:12pm
Post #15 of 20
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Ha! Five years! How time flies.
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That was fun! I suggest a festival revival for Founders' Day tomorrow, noWiz - and I vote you in as our impresario. Yes?
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Hamfast Gamgee
Tol Eressea
Apr 26 2018, 9:20am
Post #16 of 20
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Are you aware of how smelly those people get after a few days in the wild? It's enough to put one totally off that bond-building exercise!
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Hamfast Gamgee
Tol Eressea
Apr 26 2018, 9:22am
Post #17 of 20
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But according to Terry Prachett in the Discworld, Dwarves where surprisingly good at Basketball. Now why is that Surprising? They might not have height, but they can jump!
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Darkstone
Immortal
Apr 26 2018, 3:03pm
Post #19 of 20
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Legolas' favorite Player Race is "Canadian" because of Cold Resistance (+10) and Bonus Language (French).
Gimli prefers playing an "American" because they get two free handguns as starting equipment.
******************************************
“Did you say 'You Shall Not Pass' or 'You Shall Not Sass'?" asked the Balrog.
"I said 'You Shall Not Pass,'” replied Gandalf; "and I wish you wouldn't keep appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite giddy."
"All right," said the Balrog; and this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of its wings, and ending with its shadow, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.
'Well! I've often seen wings without a Balrog,' thought Gandalf; `but a Balrog without wings! It's the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!’
-The Adventures of Gandalf in Middle-earth Land
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