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Darkstone
Immortal
Nov 16 2017, 2:24pm
Post #1 of 21
(10639 views)
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Scenes From The Hat
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What will be the one most blatantly dissonant misstep in the very first Amazon episode that will have Purists projectile vomiting, Real Fans flaming, and the new “Middle-earth TV Series Discussion” board locking up every five minutes?
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The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.”
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Ettelewen
Rohan
Nov 16 2017, 4:21pm
Post #2 of 21
(10556 views)
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Young Aragorn will be re-imagined as female... //
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Otaku-sempai
Immortal
Nov 16 2017, 4:27pm
Post #3 of 21
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It's morning. We see an unclad Aragorn in bed. He rolls over and...
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...next to him is Arwen, also naked, beneath the sheets.
ARWEN: We can't let my father find out about this!
"I may be on the side of the angels, but do not think for one second that I am one of them." - Sherlock
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L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens
Nov 16 2017, 5:10pm
Post #4 of 21
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Beren's wisecracking fox sidekick, voiced by Eddie Murphy./
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And Rose drew him in, and set him on the harpsichord bench, and put little Wilhelm Friedemann upon his lap.
He began composing a fugue. 'Well, I'm Bach,' he said.
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Darkstone
Immortal
Nov 16 2017, 5:46pm
Post #5 of 21
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...this would seem very likely.
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The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.”
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Nov 16 2017, 6:25pm
Post #6 of 21
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with a vetern Ranger and his fresh-faced new Ranger partner taking down a villain on the border of the Shire. With the villain trussed up the veteran sits down, lungs heaving, and turns to young Aragorn to say, "I'm getting too old for this ****."
Smash-cut to the opening credits and guitar-heavy theme tune.
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens
Nov 16 2017, 7:09pm
Post #7 of 21
(10529 views)
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"Yo! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo! Rhymes like a dragon's fire, boots dressed to kill-o!"/
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And Rose drew him in, and set him on the harpsichord bench, and put little Wilhelm Friedemann upon his lap.
He began composing a fugue. 'Well, I'm Bach,' he said.
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Darkstone
Immortal
Nov 16 2017, 7:26pm
Post #8 of 21
(10528 views)
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"Now let the song begin! Let us sing together
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"I’m leaving a pattern no matter the weather,
"I let em know this ain't a myth, it’s a fact!
"Reeds by the shady pool, That’s where it’s at!"
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The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.”
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sador
Half-elven
Nov 16 2017, 9:02pm
Post #9 of 21
(10518 views)
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At the Ivy Bush. The Gaffer explains Frodo's relations to Noakes et al. And then -
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He carelessly says Primula's mother was Donnamira!
But the actual vomiting will come later, in the potato-salad scene lifted from BotR.
(This post was edited by sador on Nov 16 2017, 9:04pm)
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dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Nov 16 2017, 11:45pm
Post #10 of 21
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Uh-oh...would the more ignorant among them mistake BotR for LotR?
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One can only imagine the "crossovers"...starting with the "weed" of the Shire...
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"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
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cats16
Half-elven
Nov 17 2017, 4:18am
Post #12 of 21
(10476 views)
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"Mr. Eagle's my faaather duude!" //
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Join us every weekend in the Hobbit movie forum for this week's CHOW (Chapter of the Week) discussion!
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Greenwood Hobbit
Valinor
Nov 19 2017, 11:21am
Post #13 of 21
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I can't get these out of my head now! Particularly rapping Bombadil... I wonder what Tolkien would have made of rap? As for the blatantly dissonant misstep, I'm going for some sort of ludicrous costuming gaffe myself. The film costumes were so wonderful, anything's going to be a let-down; something truly anachronistic would be my choice.
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Nov 19 2017, 5:53pm
Post #14 of 21
(10406 views)
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It's morning. We see an unclad Aragorn in bed. He rolls over and...
...next to him is Arwen, also naked, beneath the sheets.
ARWEN: We can't let my father find out about this!
LEGOLAS (appears from end of bed) Or my bro!
GIMLI: (sitting up from among the pillows): And MY aunt!
You carry the fate of us all, little TV series. If this is indeed the will of the market, then Amazon will see it done.
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Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Nov 19 2017, 6:38pm
Post #16 of 21
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Shelob is played by a Hollywood producer
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...who invites wannabe elf or orc actors into his lair alone for ‘auditions’.
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Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Nov 19 2017, 6:41pm
Post #17 of 21
(10397 views)
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A major character will have to be incestuous, of course
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Turn maybe. Snort!
....oh, hang on....
~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm
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noWizardme
Half-elven
Nov 19 2017, 7:15pm
Post #18 of 21
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...didn’t someone say it was a”fundamentally cataholic work”?
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Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm
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Otaku-sempai
Immortal
Nov 19 2017, 7:48pm
Post #19 of 21
(10389 views)
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It's morning. We see an unclad Aragorn in bed. He rolls over and...
...next to him is Arwen, also naked, beneath the sheets.
ARWEN: We can't let my father find out about this! LEGOLAS (appears from end of bed) Or my bro! GIMLI: (sitting up from among the pillows): And MY aunt! You carry the fate of us all, little TV series. If this is indeed the will of the market, then Amazon will see it done.
That was painful (but in a good way?). Speaking of Legolas, The Heart of the Wild, a region guide for The One Ring Roleplaying Game, on the subject of the Woodland Realm and Thranduil's Halls does suggest that Legolas has at least one brother.
Elvenking's Apartments: Thranduil lives in these rooms when he is in the palace. When he is off hunting, he usually leaves on of his sons as seneschal...
It's neither here nor there, really, but your post reminded me of the passage.
"I may be on the side of the angels, but do not think for one second that I am one of them." - Sherlock
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sador
Half-elven
Nov 20 2017, 3:19am
Post #20 of 21
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by children???
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Lissuin
Valinor
Nov 20 2017, 4:55am
Post #21 of 21
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Gandalf, like most wizarding folk,
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uses a wand instead of a staff; he turns mice into horses, a horse into a coachman, and a pumpkin into a coach while muttering the incantation "Bibbidi-bobbidi-bo"; young Aragorn scrubs up well in his new outfit and diamanté crown. Finally! Real magic.
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