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Scenes From The Hat

Darkstone
Immortal


Nov 16 2017, 2:24pm

Post #1 of 21 (9818 views)
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Scenes From The Hat Can't Post

What will be the one most blatantly dissonant misstep in the very first Amazon episode that will have Purists projectile vomiting, Real Fans flaming, and the new “Middle-earth TV Series Discussion” board locking up every five minutes?

******************************************
The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.”




Ettelewen
Rohan

Nov 16 2017, 4:21pm

Post #2 of 21 (9736 views)
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Young Aragorn will be re-imagined as female... // [In reply to] Can't Post



Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Nov 16 2017, 4:27pm

Post #3 of 21 (9748 views)
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It's morning. We see an unclad Aragorn in bed. He rolls over and... [In reply to] Can't Post

...next to him is Arwen, also naked, beneath the sheets.

ARWEN: We can't let my father find out about this!

"I may be on the side of the angels, but do not think for one second that I am one of them." - Sherlock


L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens


Nov 16 2017, 5:10pm

Post #4 of 21 (9728 views)
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Beren's wisecracking fox sidekick, voiced by Eddie Murphy./ [In reply to] Can't Post

 

And Rose drew him in, and set him on the harpsichord bench, and put little Wilhelm Friedemann upon his lap.

He began composing a fugue. 'Well, I'm Bach,' he said.


Darkstone
Immortal


Nov 16 2017, 5:46pm

Post #5 of 21 (9727 views)
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Unfortunately.... [In reply to] Can't Post

...this would seem very likely.

******************************************
The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.”




Ataahua
Superuser / Moderator


Nov 16 2017, 6:25pm

Post #6 of 21 (9726 views)
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Opening action scene [In reply to] Can't Post

with a vetern Ranger and his fresh-faced new Ranger partner taking down a villain on the border of the Shire. With the villain trussed up the veteran sits down, lungs heaving, and turns to young Aragorn to say, "I'm getting too old for this ****."

Smash-cut to the opening credits and guitar-heavy theme tune.

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.


Ataahua's stories


L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens


Nov 16 2017, 7:09pm

Post #7 of 21 (9709 views)
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"Yo! Tom Bombadil, Tom Bombadillo! Rhymes like a dragon's fire, boots dressed to kill-o!"/ [In reply to] Can't Post

 

And Rose drew him in, and set him on the harpsichord bench, and put little Wilhelm Friedemann upon his lap.

He began composing a fugue. 'Well, I'm Bach,' he said.


Darkstone
Immortal


Nov 16 2017, 7:26pm

Post #8 of 21 (9708 views)
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"Now let the song begin! Let us sing together [In reply to] Can't Post

"I’m leaving a pattern no matter the weather,
"I let em know this ain't a myth, it’s a fact!
"Reeds by the shady pool, That’s where it’s at!"

******************************************
The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.”




sador
Half-elven


Nov 16 2017, 9:02pm

Post #9 of 21 (9698 views)
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At the Ivy Bush. The Gaffer explains Frodo's relations to Noakes et al. And then - [In reply to] Can't Post

He carelessly says Primula's mother was Donnamira!

Shocked
Mad



But the actual vomiting will come later, in the potato-salad scene lifted from BotR.


(This post was edited by sador on Nov 16 2017, 9:04pm)


dernwyn
Forum Admin / Moderator


Nov 16 2017, 11:45pm

Post #10 of 21 (9676 views)
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Uh-oh...would the more ignorant among them mistake BotR for LotR? [In reply to] Can't Post

One can only imagine the "crossovers"...starting with the "weed" of the Shire...

Tongue


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I desired dragons with a profound desire"


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Nov 16 2017, 11:57pm

Post #11 of 21 (9668 views)
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Or Gwaihir voiced by Ellen DeGeneres. Just keep flying... // [In reply to] Can't Post

 



sample

We have been there and back again.


TIME Google Calendar


6th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observations List - November 28, 2013
4th draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observations List - May 15, 2014

5th draft of TH:BotFA Geeky Observations List - January 30, 2015


TORn's Geeky Observations Lists for LotR and The Hobbit


cats16
Valinor


Nov 17 2017, 4:18am

Post #12 of 21 (9656 views)
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"Mr. Eagle's my faaather duude!" // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Join us every weekend in the Hobbit movie forum for this week's CHOW (Chapter of the Week) discussion!




Greenwood Hobbit
Grey Havens


Nov 19 2017, 11:21am

Post #13 of 21 (9613 views)
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Argh... [In reply to] Can't Post

 I can't get these out of my head now! Particularly rapping Bombadil... I wonder what Tolkien would have made of rap? As for the blatantly dissonant misstep, I'm going for some sort of ludicrous costuming gaffe myself. The film costumes were so wonderful, anything's going to be a let-down; something truly anachronistic would be my choice.


noWizardme
Valinor


Nov 19 2017, 5:53pm

Post #14 of 21 (9586 views)
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it gets worse... [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To
It's morning. We see an unclad Aragorn in bed. He rolls over and...
...next to him is Arwen, also naked, beneath the sheets.

ARWEN: We can't let my father find out about this!


LEGOLAS (appears from end of bed) Or my bro!

GIMLI: (sitting up from among the pillows): And MY aunt!

You carry the fate of us all, little TV series. If this is indeed the will of the market, then Amazon will see it done.

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


noWizardme
Valinor


Nov 19 2017, 6:16pm

Post #15 of 21 (9580 views)
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Rap Music - the c is silent, like 'indictment'? [In reply to] Can't Post

Blogger 'I am Pierre Menard' once set himself a challenge to copy 1 page of LOTR each day, including recording a version of any song on that page, using a suitable popular tune of his time.

He had the idea of Tom as rapper - e.g. taking after Vanilla Icehttps://soundcloud.com/...s/wights-wights-baby

Or, 'No Sleep 'Till Mordor' https://soundcloud.com/...till-mordor-extended

both are discussed on this page about p147

https://iampierremenard.wordpress.com/...-it-had-disappeared/

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm

(This post was edited by noWizardme on Nov 19 2017, 6:18pm)


noWizardme
Valinor


Nov 19 2017, 6:38pm

Post #16 of 21 (9579 views)
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Shelob is played by a Hollywood producer [In reply to] Can't Post

...who invites wannabe elf or orc actors into his lair alone for ‘auditions’.

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


noWizardme
Valinor


Nov 19 2017, 6:41pm

Post #17 of 21 (9577 views)
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A major character will have to be incestuous, of course [In reply to] Can't Post

Turn maybe. Snort!



....oh, hang on....

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


noWizardme
Valinor


Nov 19 2017, 7:15pm

Post #18 of 21 (9577 views)
Shortcut
Everyone has lots of cats... [In reply to] Can't Post

...didn’t someone say it was a”fundamentally cataholic work”?

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Nov 19 2017, 7:48pm

Post #19 of 21 (9569 views)
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Ouch! [groan] [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To

In Reply To
It's morning. We see an unclad Aragorn in bed. He rolls over and...
...next to him is Arwen, also naked, beneath the sheets.

ARWEN: We can't let my father find out about this!


LEGOLAS (appears from end of bed) Or my bro!

GIMLI: (sitting up from among the pillows): And MY aunt!

You carry the fate of us all, little TV series. If this is indeed the will of the market, then Amazon will see it done.


That was painful (but in a good way?). Speaking of Legolas, The Heart of the Wild, a region guide for The One Ring Roleplaying Game, on the subject of the Woodland Realm and Thranduil's Halls does suggest that Legolas has at least one brother.


Quote
Elvenking's Apartments: Thranduil lives in these rooms when he is in the palace. When he is off hunting, he usually leaves on of his sons as seneschal...


It's neither here nor there, really, but your post reminded me of the passage.

"I may be on the side of the angels, but do not think for one second that I am one of them." - Sherlock


sador
Half-elven


Nov 20 2017, 3:19am

Post #20 of 21 (9545 views)
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And the hobbits [In reply to] Can't Post

by children???


Lissuin
Tol Eressea


Nov 20 2017, 4:55am

Post #21 of 21 (9540 views)
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Gandalf, like most wizarding folk, [In reply to] Can't Post

uses a wand instead of a staff; he turns mice into horses, a horse into a coachman, and a pumpkin into a coach while muttering the incantation "Bibbidi-bobbidi-bo"; young Aragorn scrubs up well in his new outfit and diamanté crown. Finally! Real magic.

 
 

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