|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Annael
Elvenhome
Sep 30 2017, 1:13am
Post #26 of 31
(2830 views)
Shortcut
|
I try to follow the adage "don't accuse others of feelings" - "don't argue with feelings" sounds like a good corollary.
Last weekend I went to an editing conference and the keynote speaker talked about how editors could help shift the current style of social discourse to, at the very least, not make things WORSE. Avoiding any kind of epithet or slur was top on the list. But I was caught by her advice to, when someone does something you don't like, instead of accusing them, say "I noticed that you did X. I'm not sure how to interpret that. Can you explain more?" I would surely love it if my easily-triggered relations adopted that approach, and I'm going to try to use it myself when the occasion arises.
|
|
|
imin
Doriath
Sep 30 2017, 4:54am
Post #27 of 31
(2804 views)
Shortcut
|
If its a friend, then i will tell them i dont mean it that way and ultimately dont really care if it offended them - my friends would say it offended them in an ironic way, it takes a lot to offend my friends or myself.
If its offence of a random member of the public, i can't be bothered with any drama so i would say i apologise i dont mean it that way, if still offended etc then its their problem. I say this as i dont go about trying to intentionally offend anyone and i also dont really think i say anything which is offensive, at least not to a majority of people.
To answer the original question - in this instance i would apologise as it is the right thing to do and i would possibly go further than an apology depending on exact circumstances. I would expect an apology back as well - for where i live in England, to not get an apology in this situation is pretty much unthinkable and the height of bad manners.
|
|
|
Kilidoescartwheels
Doriath
Oct 2 2017, 6:19pm
Post #28 of 31
(2633 views)
Shortcut
|
|
Reminds me of one of my most embarrassing childhood memories
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
I was about 10 years old, at that awkward, clumsy age. My mother and older sister were very critical of how I walked, and were telling me how clumsy I was. I got real angry and announced, "Well I don't want to change, I WANT to be clumsy!" I turned to storm off, and tripped over a statute my older sister made for her art class, and broke it. I don't think I apologized, I was way too embarrassed - I just went to my room. But I think I should have apologized - then again, maybe the statute shouldn't have been on the floor?
|
|
|
Kilidoescartwheels
Doriath
Oct 2 2017, 6:26pm
Post #29 of 31
(2631 views)
Shortcut
|
Nothing annoys me more than someone who's more interested in being the victim than being reasonable. Accidents happen, people!
|
|
|
Kilidoescartwheels
Doriath
Oct 2 2017, 6:32pm
Post #30 of 31
(2628 views)
Shortcut
|
Yes, there is a certain eye-rolling, annoying amount of "offensive-ness" going on in the U.S. media right now - gee, maybe we can find something ELSE to talk about, like Puerto Rico - something a little more IMPORTANT???
|
|
|
Patty
Elvenhome
Oct 21 2017, 4:25am
Post #31 of 31
(2548 views)
Shortcut
|
|
Silverlode, as usual you express my opinions.
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
I always used to wonder if you were inside my head.
A good friend’s sister died just a couple days ago. I told her I was sorry. What I meant was condolences . I’m sorry it happened. Definitely not admitting guilt.
I think that’s pretty much the case with the Ming vase. You are sorry it happened. Although I really must agree the person shouldn’t have had it out where it was in such a vulnerable position. Hypothetically, of course.
And if he wasn’t insured, he’d be out of luck.
|
|
|
|
|
