|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bracegirdle
Valinor
Sep 9 2017, 5:54pm
Post #1 of 3
(655 views)
Shortcut
|
|
Some plagiarized quotes with a nonsense Tolkien-twist
|
Can't Post
|
|
Little known Hobbit trivia.
At least one chuckle or you've lost your humourous. . . . 
Lobelia S.B. was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for an estimate.
Otho just got back from a pleasure trip. He took Lobelia to the airport.
Lotho 'Pimple' S.B. fell asleep. When he awoke a blind hobbit was reading his face.
Daddy Twofoot had a bandage on both ears. "What happened?" "I was ironing when the palantir rang." "What about the other ear?" "I had to call the doctor."
Lobelia S.B. was such a bad cook that the flies got together and mended the kitchen screen door.
Fortinbras Took was frank and earnest the ladies. In Frogmorton he was Frank, in Longbottom he was Earnest.
The Forsaken Inn went defunct. Room service had an unlisted number.
Merry and Pippin had burned faces at Halloween. "What happened?" "They were bobbing for french fries."
Why does the New Umbar Navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Umbar Navy!
Milo Burrows went to the doctor. Doctor said "I need a stool sample, a sperm sample, and a stool sample." Milo said "I'm in a hurry, how about I just leave you my shorts?"
Otho S.B was happy for 65 years. Then he met Lobelia.
Young Lotho was so ugly that Lobelia would feed him with a slingshot.
Jolly Cotton and Milo Burrows were in a health club. Milo is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" asked Jolly. "Since Peony found some in my fanny-pack!"
Why did Otho die before Lobelia? He wanted to.
Saradoc wasn't too bright. When Old Rory's muffler caught fire he tried to put it out with an axe.
Lotho goes into The Ivy Bush with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Lotho says, "This is a duck." Bartender says, "I was talking to the duck."
Lotho went to a freak show. They let him in for nothing.
‘. . . the rule of no realm is mine . . .
But all worthy things that are in peril . . . those are my care.
For I also am a steward. Did you not know?'
Gandalf to Denethor
|
|
|
Ithilisa
Rivendell
Oct 10 2017, 1:47am
Post #3 of 3
(434 views)
Shortcut
|
|
*groans, then laughs several times*
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
Good ones, Bracegirdle.
"I name you Elf-friend; and may the stars shine upon the end of your road!" - Gildor
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."- Thorin
|
|
|
|
|
