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Pitch a dubious Middle-earth product (game)
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noWizardme
Valinor


Jul 14 2017, 5:45pm

Post #1 of 32 (1729 views)
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Pitch a dubious Middle-earth product (game) Can't Post

So: what Middle-earth product would have the Tolkien foundation wincing and the rest of us giggling? I have:

Fornhub - compendious website containing everything the dwarves know about Tom Bombadill

Story idea: many spectres of Gandalf appear in the Fourth Age Shire, urging the inhabitants to action. Yes, it's Fifty Shades of Gandalf the Grey.

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


Ethel Duath
Half-elven


Jul 14 2017, 6:13pm

Post #2 of 32 (1650 views)
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Chia Mûmak. [In reply to] Can't Post

"Turn your favorite Tolkien inspired beast into one of its wooly ancestors! Imagine it bellowing as it charges around your house looking for a razor!"



Darkstone
Immortal


Jul 14 2017, 6:33pm

Post #3 of 32 (1646 views)
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Naughty hobbit magazines [In reply to] Can't Post

Like "Hobbit Hunies" or "Shaved Feet".

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And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him.
But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.

-Leviticus 19:33-34


Darkstone
Immortal


Jul 14 2017, 6:39pm

Post #4 of 32 (1643 views)
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Minas Tirith Vuvuzelas [In reply to] Can't Post

"Have you ever been called home by the strident monotony of plastic vuvuzelas?"

******************************************

And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him.
But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.

-Leviticus 19:33-34


Darkstone
Immortal


Jul 14 2017, 6:47pm

Post #5 of 32 (1642 views)
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Lorien Foundation Cream [In reply to] Can't Post

Infused with rich phytonutrients from broccoli, avocado, olive, aloe, fresh mint, and green tea leaves.

"All shall love you and despair!"

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And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him.
But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.

-Leviticus 19:33-34


noWizardme
Valinor


Jul 14 2017, 6:55pm

Post #6 of 32 (1640 views)
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Gamgee's Patent Ninnyhammer [In reply to] Can't Post

Boy, I can think of a few SysAdmins who would like one of those! (On the grounds that the computer system would be working fine if some ninny hadn't tried to use it.)

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Jul 14 2017, 7:25pm

Post #7 of 32 (1635 views)
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iStone™ [In reply to] Can't Post

We have obtained, direct from Aman, a limited supply of iStones™. The iStone™ is crafted to be fully compatible with most palantíri*. This special offer includes our free upgrade that provides compatability with the Mirror of Galadriel. The iStone™ can be yours for five (5) easy payments of 20 silver pennies, each. Send your order to:

iStone™
1 Isengard Way
Gap of Rohan, M-e

Or visit your nearest iStone™ Store.

* No service to the Seeing-stone of Elostirion at the Tower Hills. Scry at your own risk.

"Who I am is where I stand. Where I stand is where I fall.” -- The Doctor


Darkstone
Immortal


Jul 14 2017, 7:40pm

Post #8 of 32 (1633 views)
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Evermind Anti-Virus by Simbelmynëtec [In reply to] Can't Post

"How fair are the bright eyes in the operating system! Evermind they are called, from Simbelmynëtec for your computer, for they blossom in all the applications of the user, and grow where malware lurks."

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And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him.
But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.

-Leviticus 19:33-34


noWizardme
Valinor


Jul 14 2017, 8:06pm

Post #9 of 32 (1631 views)
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"Ent Misbehavin' " - periodical for the lonely Fangorn gentleman? [In reply to] Can't Post

Printed on voluntarily donated paper.

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


Darkstone
Immortal


Jul 14 2017, 8:40pm

Post #10 of 32 (1629 views)
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"Disparate Entwives" [In reply to] Can't Post

"Entwives doin' it for themselves!"

******************************************

And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him.
But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.

-Leviticus 19:33-34


Lissuin
Tol Eressea


Jul 14 2017, 8:49pm

Post #11 of 32 (1633 views)
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Lord of the Rings slot machines. Oh........um........well........ [In reply to] Can't Post

(wince)


Lissuin
Tol Eressea


Jul 14 2017, 8:50pm

Post #12 of 32 (1626 views)
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Gwaihir cat toy on a stick. [In reply to] Can't Post

Participate in the thrilling chase as your little fur ball takes down the Lord of the Eagles!


(This post was edited by Lissuin on Jul 14 2017, 8:53pm)


Darkstone
Immortal


Jul 14 2017, 8:58pm

Post #13 of 32 (1625 views)
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"Three Rings for the Elvis Double Jackpot..." [In reply to] Can't Post

"...in Vegas, where The King's still live."

******************************************

And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him.
But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.

-Leviticus 19:33-34


FarFromHome
Valinor


Jul 14 2017, 9:02pm

Post #14 of 32 (1625 views)
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Gaffer tape [In reply to] Can't Post

Tired of your elven rope letting go just when you least expect it? Why not try Gaffer tape from Shire Enterprises. It sticks fast around the home and always gets the job done!

They went in, and Sam shut the door.
But even as he did so, he heard suddenly,
deep and unstilled,
the sigh and murmur of the Sea upon the shores of Middle-earth.
From the unpublished Epilogue to the Lord of the Rings



Darkstone
Immortal


Jul 14 2017, 9:23pm

Post #15 of 32 (1617 views)
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"Release the Shogle!" [In reply to] Can't Post

Use super sticky Shelob Glue!

******************************************

And if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not vex him.
But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.

-Leviticus 19:33-34


Greenwood Hobbit
Grey Havens


Jul 15 2017, 9:08pm

Post #16 of 32 (1532 views)
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Aaaii... anything but vuvuzelas! So that's why Denethor legged it... [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Greenwood Hobbit
Grey Havens


Jul 15 2017, 9:13pm

Post #17 of 32 (1535 views)
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'Shadowfax' Horse Apples... [In reply to] Can't Post

a must-have for the desperate gardener who needs fast results. Show those roses the meaning of haste!


L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens


Jul 15 2017, 9:32pm

Post #18 of 32 (1529 views)
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Ent Farm. Shipping weight 21,795 tons./ [In reply to] Can't Post

 

And Rose drew him in, and set him on the harpsichord bench, and put little Wilhelm Friedemann upon his lap.

He began composing a fugue. 'Well, I'm Bach,' he said.


Meneldor
Valinor


Jul 16 2017, 12:32am

Post #19 of 32 (1518 views)
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Telchar's Guaranteed Unbreakable Blades [In reply to] Can't Post

*guarantee void when used against servants of darkness


They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters, these see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep. -Psalm 107


Lissuin
Tol Eressea


Jul 16 2017, 12:47am

Post #20 of 32 (1512 views)
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Lembas Chips. [In reply to] Can't Post

Bet you can't eat just one!


grammaboodawg
Immortal


Jul 17 2017, 11:53am

Post #21 of 32 (1384 views)
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Crashing Conkers! [In reply to] Can't Post


A nutty game of skill and daring that Bilbo Baggins boasted of being quite skilled at when Thorin Oakenshield asked about his weapon of choice.

How to play Conkers




TIME Google Calendar


6th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observations List - November 28, 2013
4th draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observations List - May 15, 2014

5th draft of TH:BotFA Geeky Observations List - January 30, 2015


TORn's Geeky Observations Lists for LotR and The Hobbit

(This post was edited by grammaboodawg on Jul 17 2017, 12:01pm)


NottaSackville
Tol Eressea

Jul 17 2017, 6:03pm

Post #22 of 32 (1330 views)
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Shire Lumber: [In reply to] Can't Post

"Modern-milled straight and true to make square doors just for you!"

Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville


Alveric
Bree


Jul 18 2017, 6:53pm

Post #23 of 32 (1220 views)
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Hobbity-McNuggets with a side of Uruk-fries [In reply to] Can't Post

This is but a taste of the artery-clogging junk food Saruman will unleash.


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Tol Eressea


Jul 19 2017, 5:49pm

Post #24 of 32 (1104 views)
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Red Balrog energy drink [In reply to] Can't Post

It gives you wings, maybe? And if any, they don't work.

***
"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."


Ruxendil_Thoorg
Tol Eressea


Jul 19 2017, 6:11pm

Post #25 of 32 (1103 views)
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Also one for the Elves: [In reply to] Can't Post

"Teleporno"

Bringing excitement to Lothlorien since the Second Age.
Brought to you by the Lord of the Wood himself.

"Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him about renewing his expiring subscription."

***
"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."

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