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** Founders Day 'Crazy Crossover Drabbles'
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noWizardme
Half-elven


Apr 28 2017, 3:32pm

Post #26 of 52 (1374 views)
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...and Lear passes to Ogden Nash... [In reply to] Can't Post

Love it - can I carry on, please?:

We realise while Bilbo’s life nice is,
He’s brewing a middle-life crisis
“Last chance for Adventures,
Before I need dentures,
(Or other prosthetic devices)!”

Thinks Bilbo, whose usually bookish
(And whose plan for tomorrow was “cook fish”)
He’s suddenly sure
He should see Erebor –
Gee, how fundamentally Tookish!

Bilbo, so usually meek
Signs on, and might end in S-Creek
But now he’s off to bed
With a rather sore head
I wonder if he’ll oversleep?

Yes he did! But decides he should dash,
Down the road without handkerchief, cash
Away from the Shire
A burglar for hire
How uncharacteristically rash!

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


Greenwood Hobbit
Tol Eressea


Apr 28 2017, 9:43pm

Post #27 of 52 (1346 views)
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I regret that with drabbles it's true [In reply to] Can't Post

that 100 words only will do,
No more and no less,
Though it causes much stress -
But you've crafted a good 'un - Go You!


dormouse
Half-elven


Apr 29 2017, 10:15am

Post #28 of 52 (1310 views)
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Algernon Charles Swinburne elbows Nash aside and continues.... [In reply to] Can't Post

If dwarves had been less grouchy
Or the wilderness less wild,
Their journey had been sweeter,
Their footsteps perchance fleeter,
And mayhap even goblins and Gollum might have smiled –*
If dwarves had been less grouchy
Or the wilderness less wild

If Bilbo had not fallen
Been left, and lost his way
If Gollum had not blundered
So Ring and he were sundered
Then all the world were different (and TORn not here today!)
If Bilbo had not fallen,
Been left, and lost his way.

If there had been no eagles
To raise them from the fire
Or Smaug had kicked the bucket
An age ago, with luck it
Would all have been so different, and Thorin’s fate less dire
If there had been no eagles
To raise them from the fire.


[* They wouldn't. Ed.]

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood and every spring
there is a different green. . .

(This post was edited by dormouse on Apr 29 2017, 10:15am)


Greenwood Hobbit
Tol Eressea


Apr 29 2017, 8:01pm

Post #29 of 52 (1285 views)
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*chortles* trying to imagine what Middle Earth dentures would look like... [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Greenwood Hobbit
Tol Eressea


Apr 29 2017, 8:02pm

Post #30 of 52 (1287 views)
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*throws drabble limit out of window* [In reply to] Can't Post

Much may be forgiven one who rhymes 'bucket' with 'luck it'!


noWizardme
Half-elven


Apr 30 2017, 7:45am

Post #31 of 52 (1265 views)
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And now some more music [In reply to] Can't Post

It seems that, as Gandalf stands alone on the bridge, a 1959s Ben E King standard comes to mind...

When the balrog's come
And the way is dark
And the fire is the only light we'll see
No I won't be afraid
Oh, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you don't stand by me
This foe's beyond you!
Fly you fools! Woah, woah, fly you fools
Fly you fools, fly you fools,
Fly you fools!

If the bridge that we stand upon
Should tumble and fall
Or the mountain should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, If I die
I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you don't stand by me
(Including YOU, Aragorn)


(Fly you fools... etc. )

For anyone who is mystified, here's a link to the song I mean https://open.spotify.com/...mHyHMEqm9MJWiMAneF05 it was later covered by John Lennon, Florence and the Machine, Tracey Chapman (and others). Not the Oasis song of the same name.

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


noWizardme
Half-elven


Apr 30 2017, 10:14am

Post #32 of 52 (1265 views)
Shortcut
Swinburne scores! Now Henry Wadsworth Longfellow for the conversion [In reply to] Can't Post

Good passing play by the poets there, leaving Swinburne to carry the ball over the line for the try. Now the crowd quiets while Longefllow goes for the kick:

The song of Eomond's daughter

To make the soup of Eomond’s daughter
First she fetches river water
Not from where the men are bathing
But upstream where the Snowbourn running
Swiftly sings with Ulmo’s laughter.
Beans she takes then, traveler’s staple
Carried dry in pack and pannier
Carefully, she leaves them soaking
Not to give men indigestion.
Crushing ramsons for the flavour
‘Crush’ she thinks and yields to laughter
Gives a quiet mini -'ha ha'!
Glances up to see the stranger.
Precious spices from the Southlands
Tips she in to give soup flavour
So distracted, her hand trembles
Let us hope he likes it spicy!

[Gosh, this rhythm's getting boring
Just as well a drabble's short then]

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


dormouse
Half-elven


Apr 30 2017, 10:22am

Post #33 of 52 (1255 views)
Shortcut
Brilliant! [In reply to] Can't Post

Loud applause - specially for the 'quiet mini - 'ha ha'!

I'll be back.... Wink

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood and every spring
there is a different green. . .


noWizardme
Half-elven


Apr 30 2017, 10:45am

Post #34 of 52 (1257 views)
Shortcut
Hey Balrog! [In reply to] Can't Post

'Stand By Me' made me think of the John Lennon cover, which made me wonder about the rest of the Beatles. Which made me see Gandalf and the Balrog in a rather 'Yellow Submarine' kind of light. And that led to this monstrosity:

Hey Balrog!

Balrog, fiery Durin’s Bane
Watchdog, defend the bridge again
The gulf of Khazad-dûm is
Measured out in leagues
What makes you think that I’ll
Be first to feel fatigue?

Long time, falling in the dark
Maybe, you’ll let me just remark:
If this pit’s bottomless
Our fall might take us years
You don't know what it's like
To listen to your fears, but
You can talk to me
You can talk to me
You can talk to me
While we’re falling, you can talk to me.

[epic riff]


Balrog, you’re really out of luck
But now, my hundred words are up...

('Hey Bulldog' is probably not the best-known Beatles song, SO here's a link:
https://open.spotify.com/...EbDhNDU4NDXq0h86nGZ7 )

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


noWizardme
Half-elven


Apr 30 2017, 12:54pm

Post #35 of 52 (1255 views)
Shortcut
Thanks! I see I missed a trick though... [In reply to] Can't Post

Thanks! I see I missed a trick though
Eowyn, an experienced camper
Draws her draught from upstream water
From the River's higher waters
Hears *the song of higher waters....*
Bother, wish I'd realised earlier...

Help I think I might be stuck now
In Trochaic tetrameter!

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


dormouse
Half-elven


Apr 30 2017, 3:57pm

Post #36 of 52 (1237 views)
Shortcut
And it's not a place that any.... [In reply to] Can't Post

One of us would want to linger.
Once we'd got that rhythm going!

The 'song of higher waters' is priceless! Cool

I'm trying to work out where to go from

Oh Elf is Elf and Dwarf is Dwarf
And (seldom) the twain shall meet
Till the age-long unravelling of Arda is complete
But there is neither Elf nor Dwarf
Hobbit, nor man, nor Ent
When orcs turn up and start a fight
Or....

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood and every spring
there is a different green. . .


Greenwood Hobbit
Tol Eressea


Apr 30 2017, 4:21pm

Post #37 of 52 (1237 views)
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Wow, folks - this has morphed [In reply to] Can't Post

into a mighty fine poetry slam! Bring it on!


noWizardme
Half-elven


Apr 30 2017, 5:12pm

Post #38 of 52 (1234 views)
Shortcut
Rudyard to complete that... [In reply to] Can't Post

But it looks like it's in good hands.

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm

(This post was edited by noWizardme on Apr 30 2017, 5:20pm)


Greenwood Hobbit
Tol Eressea


Apr 30 2017, 5:39pm

Post #39 of 52 (1227 views)
Shortcut
<snert> [In reply to] Can't Post

 


dormouse
Half-elven


Apr 30 2017, 9:57pm

Post #40 of 52 (1214 views)
Shortcut
Got it! [In reply to] Can't Post

Oh Elf is Elf and Dwarf is Dwarf and (seldom) the twain shall meet
Till the age-long unravelling of Arda is complete.
But there is neither Elf nor Dwarf, Hobbit nor Ent nor Man,
When Sauron winks from the top of his tower, saying, "I have a cunning plan........"

(Well, first verse, anyway! Wink )

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood and every spring
there is a different green. . .


L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens


Apr 30 2017, 11:07pm

Post #41 of 52 (1205 views)
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You're a better hill than I am, Amon Dîn./ [In reply to] Can't Post



dormouse
Half-elven


Apr 30 2017, 11:23pm

Post #42 of 52 (1201 views)
Shortcut
:-) // [In reply to] Can't Post

 

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood and every spring
there is a different green. . .


noWizardme
Half-elven


May 1 2017, 9:04am

Post #43 of 52 (1173 views)
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Bravo - a nice bit of Kipling! [In reply to] Can't Post

Well done.

What's 'kipling' Precious? Nasty woodsmoke spoiling nice fishes? And kipling's not so big as kippers we thinks - not enough for poor hungry Smeagol, Gollum

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


noWizardme
Half-elven


May 1 2017, 9:07am

Post #44 of 52 (1184 views)
Shortcut
Mayday, Mayday - garbled distress signal from Cirith Ungol [In reply to] Can't Post

Something has badly traumatised the Watchers! Here is a garbled dispatch from the Tower of Cirith Ungol, reporting...

Three Spies in Four Acts:

Hobbits on the pass, alas.
Hobbits on the pass alas.
Short intruders pass short longer Mordor border tower pass. Hobbits
Small hobbits on the Mordor border disorder short-ass hobbits on the
pass.
If they were not hobbits what were they.
If they were not hobbits on the pass alas what were they. He had
heard of a third and he asked about it it was an elf-lord with a light.
Oh, an elf-lord with a light like the sky made us die if the hobbits try on the
Pass alas pass alas and harrass our tower on the border pass


After Gertrude Stein (after her quickly lads, before she gets away!)
https://allpoetry.com/...Saints-in-Three-Acts

PS: I think before I started messing round with it, my main reaction to Stein's original was 'confusion'. Now I think what she's doing is to render the rhythm and cadence of pigeon noises into English words. It does sound rather like the pigeons noisily courting on my office roof, streuth....

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm


noWizardme
Half-elven


May 1 2017, 3:37pm

Post #45 of 52 (1163 views)
Shortcut
hi folks archie the cockroach here that old fool nowiz has wandered off to take a nap [In reply to] Can't Post

hi folks archie the cockroach here that old fool nowiz has wandered off to take a nap i don’t know whats gotten into him
hes writing something about the old forest and ee cummings and starts yawning fit to bust and gives up at 68 words of 100
its supposed to be a concrete poem but that makes no sense as its typed out on paper
anyways here it is what do you think

like i say hes gone for a nap under the old tree in the garden queerly sleepy and

oh

thats not good

um ill be back folks

~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm
Attachments: Justtired- (1).pdf (36.2 KB)


dormouse
Half-elven


May 1 2017, 9:57pm

Post #46 of 52 (1139 views)
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Excellent both times.... [In reply to] Can't Post

Mr Kipling demanded another outing......

Advice to a certain hobbit....

If you can keep the Ring when all about you
Have got their own ideas where it should be
If you can foil their plans to take it from you
And work out when to trust and when to flee
If you can walk and not be tired by walking
Or go by elven boat or eagle's wing
Or climb a mountain, cross a poisonous desert
And dare a giant eyeball and a sting
If you can find the perishing volcano
And climb its side, escaping fume and flare
For goodness sake remember why you've done it
And chuck the bally thing in once you're there!

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood and every spring
there is a different green. . .


Lissuin
Valinor


May 1 2017, 10:13pm

Post #47 of 52 (1132 views)
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Ha! Good advice, fer sure. [In reply to] Can't Post


Quote
For goodness sake remember why you've done it
And chuck the bally thing in once you're there!



You are such a clever bunch. I've been chortling over all your drabbles. Continue!


Greenwood Hobbit
Tol Eressea


May 1 2017, 10:19pm

Post #48 of 52 (1128 views)
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Classy! [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Greenwood Hobbit
Tol Eressea


May 1 2017, 10:22pm

Post #49 of 52 (1129 views)
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toujours gai archie toujours gai [In reply to] Can't Post

 


Greenwood Hobbit
Tol Eressea


May 1 2017, 10:24pm

Post #50 of 52 (1128 views)
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For a mad moment I thought [In reply to] Can't Post

that was going to be 'Hey Balrog, Balrog Italiano'

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