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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Feb 5 2017, 4:41pm
Post #1 of 39
(2182 views)
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List of the most unnecessary or worst jobs in Middle-earth
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I’ll start:
A shoe salesman in Hobbiton 
A gardener in Khazad-dum 
Barkeep at the Forsaken Inn 
Barnacle scraper at the Grey Havens 
Add yours . . . . 
‘. . . the rule of no realm is mine . . .
But all worthy things that are in peril . . . those are my care.
For I also am a steward. Did you not know?'
Gandalf to Denethor
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Smaug the iron
Gondor
Feb 5 2017, 5:28pm
Post #3 of 39
(2091 views)
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A fisherman in Mordor
And the most dangerous job in Middle-earth is a butcher near Beorn's house
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Feb 5 2017, 6:15pm
Post #4 of 39
(2074 views)
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‘. . . the rule of no realm is mine . . .
But all worthy things that are in peril . . . those are my care.
For I also am a steward. Did you not know?'
Gandalf to Denethor
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Feb 5 2017, 7:38pm
Post #5 of 39
(2070 views)
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Mine safety inspector in Moria. /
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Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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Meneldor
Valinor
Feb 5 2017, 9:51pm
Post #8 of 39
(2055 views)
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The craftsman who makes binoculars for Sauron. //
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They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters, these see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep. -Psalm 107
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Cuwen Maegmacil
Rivendell
Feb 5 2017, 9:58pm
Post #9 of 39
(2058 views)
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FDA Health Inspector for Mordor
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Legolas' personal ophthalmologist.
"I'm not a Psychopath, I'm a High-Functioning Sociopath, do your research."
"But I don't regret, nor will I forget, all who took that road with me. Night is now falling, so ends this day. The road is now calling and I must away. Over hill, and under tree, through lands where never light has shined. I turned at last to paths that lead home."
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Feb 5 2017, 10:50pm
Post #10 of 39
(2059 views)
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A lumberjack in Fangorn Forest 
‘. . . the rule of no realm is mine . . .
But all worthy things that are in peril . . . those are my care.
For I also am a steward. Did you not know?'
Gandalf to Denethor
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Ruxendil_Thoorg
Tol Eressea
Feb 6 2017, 2:21am
Post #12 of 39
(2049 views)
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some unnecessaries, some worsts, one of both
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Unnecessary:
Butcher, Rivendell
Barber, Iron Hills
Suntanning coach, Trollshaws / Ettenmoors
Speed-reading tutor, Fangorn
Geriatric physician, Lothlorien
Worst:
Cemetery caretaker / gravedigger, Barrow-downs
Dental hygienist, Mt. Gundabad/Moria/Goblin-Town/Mordor
Massage therapist, for Great Goblin
Farmer, Pelennor Fields
Home/Building Improvement Contractor, Osgiliath
Both:
Mortician, Dead Marshes
***
"That doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, you are quite small. Perhaps you're right."
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Feb 6 2017, 2:09pm
Post #13 of 39
(2016 views)
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After Battle 'head'-cleaner at Minas Tirith
Toll collector at the Bridge of Khazad-dum
‘. . . the rule of no realm is mine . . .
But all worthy things that are in peril . . . those are my care.
For I also am a steward. Did you not know?'
Gandalf to Denethor
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dormouse
Half-elven
Feb 6 2017, 2:18pm
Post #14 of 39
(2016 views)
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Dressmaker in Mordor
Gift shop owner in Hobbiton
Caretaker in Erebor
For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood and every spring
there is a different green. . .
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Ethel Duath
Half-elven
Feb 6 2017, 3:54pm
Post #16 of 39
(2005 views)
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At least to all appearances.
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Feb 6 2017, 10:06pm
Post #17 of 39
(1989 views)
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wears high heels
Suspendies and a bra.
He's a lumberjack and he's, hoom, not OK. ♪ And then along came Treebeard
Tall thin Treebeard
Slow-walkin' Treebeard
Slow-talkin' Treebeard
Along came long, lean, lanky Treebeard ♪
‘. . . the rule of no realm is mine . . .
But all worthy things that are in peril . . . those are my care.
For I also am a steward. Did you not know?'
Gandalf to Denethor
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Elarie
Grey Havens
Feb 7 2017, 1:55pm
Post #19 of 39
(1949 views)
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Jobs I wouldn't want, even in Middle Earth...
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Lonely Mountain Fire Safety Inspector
Lorien Leaf Raker
Grinding Ice Toll Booth Attendant
Chief Arachnologist, Mirkwood University
Rohan Bicycle Salesman
Barad-dur Court Jester
Gollum's Personal Shopper
A job that wouldn't be so bad...
King Thranduil's Wine Taster
__________________
Gold is the strife of kinsmen,
and fire of the flood-tide,
and the path of the serpent.
(This post was edited by Elarie on Feb 7 2017, 2:00pm)
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Elarie
Grey Havens
Feb 7 2017, 1:58pm
Post #20 of 39
(1942 views)
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"Suntanning coach" - good one
__________________
Gold is the strife of kinsmen,
and fire of the flood-tide,
and the path of the serpent.
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Darkstone
Immortal
Feb 7 2017, 3:23pm
Post #21 of 39
(1926 views)
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The Great Goblin's flesh fold fumigator. /
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******************************************
“Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!"
"Come not between the Nazgul and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye."
"Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may."
"Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!"
"But no living man am I! I am Eowyn, daughter of Theodwyn!”
"Er, really? My mother's name was Theodwyn, too!"
"No way!"
"Way!"
"Wow! Let's stop fighting and be best friends!"
"Cool!!"
-Zack Snyder's The Return of the King
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Darkstone
Immortal
Feb 7 2017, 3:31pm
Post #22 of 39
(1925 views)
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******************************************
“Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!"
"Come not between the Nazgul and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye."
"Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may."
"Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!"
"But no living man am I! I am Eowyn, daughter of Theodwyn!”
"Er, really? My mother's name was Theodwyn, too!"
"No way!"
"Way!"
"Wow! Let's stop fighting and be best friends!"
"Cool!!"
-Zack Snyder's The Return of the King
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Misty Mountain Hop
Rivendell
Feb 7 2017, 3:45pm
Post #23 of 39
(1920 views)
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"Only, you've never done a hard day's work." - Merry
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Darkstone
Immortal
Feb 7 2017, 3:56pm
Post #25 of 39
(1919 views)
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******************************************
“Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!"
"Come not between the Nazgul and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye."
"Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may."
"Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!"
"But no living man am I! I am Eowyn, daughter of Theodwyn!”
"Er, really? My mother's name was Theodwyn, too!"
"No way!"
"Way!"
"Wow! Let's stop fighting and be best friends!"
"Cool!!"
-Zack Snyder's The Return of the King
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"Heads up!" //
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