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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Apr 26 2008, 7:54pm
Post #1 of 26
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
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What a choice: Stay in Valinor with the greatest children of Eru's creation, or go to Middle-earth in the body of an old man to fight a long battle by indirect means, with just a shadow of your power and surrounded by ignorant Hobbits, smelly Men, self-important Dwarves, denying or kin-slaying Elves and the occasional evil creature thrown in. So what was it that persuaded Gandalf to go?
(Note for new members: The 'conspiracies' thread is a humorous one with the aim of finding the most absurd answers possible. So have a go!)
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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greendragon
Sr. Staff
Apr 26 2008, 8:53pm
Post #2 of 26
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"Oh, go on then...!"
Sorry - that joke will only be got by British 'sibs who remember the old Dairylea ads - 'Will you do it for a Dairylea?' Their cheese triangles were supposed to be SO delicious that one would do ANYTHING to get one!
'There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of my fridge...'
'You never know what will happen next, when once you get mixed up with TORnsibs and their friends.'
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namadriel
Lorien
Apr 26 2008, 9:26pm
Post #3 of 26
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Just like "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" here
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Starling
Half-elven
Apr 26 2008, 9:47pm
Post #4 of 26
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He had the hidden immunity idol in his backpack //
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One Ringer
Tol Eressea
Apr 26 2008, 9:50pm
Post #5 of 26
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Need I say more?
Ash nazg durbatulûk, Ash nazg gimbatul,
Ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.
I'm hosting THE URUK-HAI in The Reading Room! Swing by and join in!
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Darkstone
Immortal
Apr 26 2008, 10:13pm
Post #6 of 26
(327 views)
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Mandos found out about him and his sister. /
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******************************************
The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.”
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weaver
Half-elven
Apr 27 2008, 12:50am
Post #8 of 26
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He wanted to be in pictures.../
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Weaver
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Mar
Gondor
Apr 27 2008, 1:14am
Post #9 of 26
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Pizza! And fireworks of course. //
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Life isn't about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself.
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RosieLass
Valinor
Apr 27 2008, 2:19am
Post #10 of 26
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BOGO sale on immense black boots at Payless. //
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Sad News. :(
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 83. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
http://mallika.vox.com/
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a.s.
Valinor
Apr 27 2008, 2:24am
Post #11 of 26
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he didn't read the fine print; he thought it said
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"Body of a BOLD man".
And it was too late; he signed and so he had a 3000 yr minimum contractual agreement. Mandos had better lawyers.
a.s.
"an seileachan"
"Good night, little girls, thank the Lord you are well!
Now go to sleep" said Miss Clavel.
And she turned out the light and shut the door,
And that's all there is. There isn't any more.
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stormcrow20
Gondor
Apr 27 2008, 2:44am
Post #12 of 26
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He considered it a working vacation.....
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Who knew that "Gandalf the Grey uncloaked" consisted of shorts, sneakers, a hawaiian shirt, and a little camera hidden under his beard.
~~~~~~
Círdan saw further and deeper than any other in Middle-earth, and he welcomed Mithrandir at the Grey Havens, knowing whence he came and whither he would return.
'Take this ring, master,' he said, 'for your labours will be heavy; but it will support you in the weariness you have taken upon yourself. For this is the Ring of Fire, and with it you may rekindle hearts in a world that grows chill.'
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Darkstone
Immortal
Apr 27 2008, 4:01am
Post #13 of 26
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He preferred the little things in life. /
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******************************************
The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.”
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Apr 27 2008, 6:14am
Post #14 of 26
(299 views)
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Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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grammaboodawg
Immortal
Apr 27 2008, 1:13pm
Post #15 of 26
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hmmm... Valinor, same ol' thing day after day or party every day in Middle-earth? NO CONTEST! The Bruce Willis of Wizards cometh. Die Hard, Rise Again //
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Trust him... The Hobbit is coming!
"Barney Snow was here." ~Hug like a hobbit!~ "In my heaven..."
TORn's Observations Lists
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Annael
Immortal
Apr 27 2008, 2:43pm
Post #16 of 26
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He was tired of paying black-market prices for second-rate pipeweed
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All Manwe had to do was say "Longbottom Leaf"
"The person who strives for security will never be free. The person who believes that she's found security will never reach paradise."
- Tom Robbins
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
NARF and member of Deplorable Cultus since 1967
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Elven
Valinor
Apr 27 2008, 4:53pm
Post #17 of 26
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Eru had mentioned something about babysitting the children every Friday night //
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Were off to Hobbiton finally!
Tolkien was a Capricorn!!
Russell Crowe for Beorn!!
(This post was edited by Elven on Apr 27 2008, 4:55pm)
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ringers rock!
Rivendell
Apr 27 2008, 6:13pm
Post #18 of 26
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Valinor's increasingly dark cloud of smug //
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Ouch. Fell off the planet. What's a girl gotta do to get some magic rope around here?
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Loresilme
Valinor
Apr 27 2008, 11:58pm
Post #19 of 26
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His health. He came to Middle Earth for the waters ...
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He was misinformed.
You must remember this.. a kiss is still a kiss... a sigh is still a sigh ....
 Loresilme
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ElanorTX
Tol Eressea
Apr 28 2008, 5:18am
Post #24 of 26
(264 views)
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'better to be a big frog in a small pond than a small frog in a big one' //
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"I shall not wholly fail if anything can still grow fair in days to come."
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