|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bracegirdle
Valinor
Dec 16 2016, 3:49am
Post #2 of 8
(1344 views)
Shortcut
|
|
WOW! These are really great. A favorite . . .
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
You have been hired by a group of adventurers to work as a thief, even though your only professional experience is gentle meandering.
‘. . . the rule of no realm is mine . . .
But all worthy things that are in peril . . . those are my care.
For I also am a steward. Did you not know?'
Gandalf to Denethor
|
|
|
Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Dec 17 2016, 12:40am
Post #4 of 8
(1298 views)
Shortcut
|
|
I imagine that Starling will agree with the 'ponies' line. :D
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
However this one spoke to me:
You’ve come into possession of a magical object of world-imperiling demonic power, which you use primarily to avoid awkward small talk with your neighbors.
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
|
|
|
Lissuin
Valinor
Dec 17 2016, 6:12am
Post #5 of 8
(1283 views)
Shortcut
|
|
YES! I'd call that a good day...in spite of the circumstances:
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
"You once fulfilled an ancient prophecy and overturned gender expectations at the same time."
|
|
|
CuriousG
Half-elven
Dec 21 2016, 1:47pm
Post #6 of 8
(1200 views)
Shortcut
|
|
This was my favorite. Great find, Wiz!
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
"Your best friend was your cousin, until you murdered him over an old ring he found in the river. Now the old ring is your best friend. You hate it."
|
|
|
noWizardme
Half-elven
Dec 24 2016, 3:54pm
Post #7 of 8
(1137 views)
Shortcut
|
Inspired by Mallory Ortburg's "Two Monks" series on The Toast (see http://the-toast.net/...wo-monks-invent-art/ ) I thought I would offer you this bit of Yule-tide silliness...
Inventors of Middle-earth: Voice Control
The inscription on the Doors of Moria reads:
The Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter. And underneath small and faint is written: I, Narvi, made them. Celebrimbor of Hollin drew these signs.’
This is the story of those two remarkable inventors.
~~~
NARVI: Oh, Hi there Celebrimbor! Come to see how the doors are getting on? You’re just in time for our lunch-break.
CELEBRIMBOR [Putting down a casket that sloshes, and looking admiringly at the Gates]: Fine work my friend.
NARVI: Thanks. Got them hung just right now – look!
[NARVI closes the doors. They shut effortlessly and fit so perfectly that no joins or cracks can be seen. Narvi waves his hands at the shut doors and mutters. The outlines of a keyboard appear. With effort, Narvi stretches to reach the Alt and Ctrl keys simultaneously]
NARVI: Hey Celebrimbor - could you do me a favour – reach up and press that key marked ‘Del’ would you? Ta.
[They press the keys simultaneously. The doors swing soundlessly open]
CELEBRIMBOR: Hmm -isn’t that a bit awkward as an interface? I thought you said they were going to be voice controlled?
NARVI [Sighs] Well yes, but we hit a snag. I had them opening when someone said ‘Hey Ciri’…
CELEBRIMBOR [smiling to himself]: Oh – as in Ciri Foxbeard, the architect?
NARVI [embarrassed]: Oh, well, maybe... I suppose it’s because she designed the entrance hall – Yes, I expect that is what put that particular name in mind. But now I’ll have to change it, anyway…
CELEBRIMBOR: She didn’t like it?
NARVI: Well, there was an accident. She was here inspecting the works you see, and I was all set to demonstrate the system to her. Just then someone sees her, shouts ‘Hey Ciri’, and the next thing you know she’s pinned to the wall by the opening door, and not happy with me at all!
CELEBRIMBOR [Sympathetic]: Oh, bad luck! So, you just need a new password. I suppose it ought to be hard to guess. We should pick something random…
[They both look round them for inspiration. Absentmindedly, Narvi fingers the wooden-framed safety goggles around his neck.]
NARVI: Ah I have it: ‘Oak Goggles’!
CELEBRIMBOR [blushes]: Well that would be fine, except that in a Sindarin accent it would sound like ‘Oak Hay Goo Girls’, and that, my friend, sounds like a slang expression meaning… [he whispers in Narvi’s ear. Narvi starts. The slang expression is clearly very vulgar indeed.]
NARVI [shocked, then laughing]: I see! We can hardly have elven visitors coming up to the doors and having to announce loudly that… oh dear!
[Settling down with their lunchboxes, they both laugh at how terrible an idea this is. They go back to thinking of hard-to-guess passwords.]
NARVI [pointing at Celebrimbor’s lunch] Ah! That’s it!
CELEBRIMBOR: What – melon?
NARVI: Perfect! ‘Me110n!’ it is. Another problem solved! So - what have you been working on Celebrimbor?
CELEBRIMBOR: Well…something hush-hush involving rings. But also, these…
[He opens the casket]
… Pet octopuses! Aren’t they cute?
NARVI: Adorable. Look – they’re looking at me, and this one’s put out a tentacle to shake hands!
CELEBRIMBOR: Yes, they’re really friendly, and do like to say hello. I’m thinking of calling them ‘whotchas’.
NARVI: You should put some in the pool by the gate, as part of the landscaping when we’re done on these doors.
CELEBRIMBOR: Great idea! Holly trees by the doors, and ‘whotchas’ in the water to greet visitors.
NARVI: Just a moment though – these octopuses: they don’t grow big or aggressive at all, do they?
CELEBRIMBOR: Nah, they only grow very slowly. Lots of time to move them before there’s any chance of a problem.
NARVI: Oh, that’s alright then.
CELEBRIMBOR: Yes, that’s alright.
~~~~~~
Where's that old read-through discussion?
A wonderful list of links to previous chapters in the 2014-2016 LOTR read-through (and to previous read-throughs) is curated by our very own 'squire' here http://users.bestweb.net/...-SixthDiscussion.htm
(This post was edited by noWizardme on Dec 24 2016, 3:57pm)
|
|
|
CuriousG
Half-elven
Dec 24 2016, 7:46pm
Post #8 of 8
(1116 views)
Shortcut
|
I may have found a new password when all my others expire: me11on.
[In reply to]
|
Can't Post
|
|
It's a pity Gandalf didn't just download an app on his staff-phone for opening magical doors, rather than waste precious time *thinking* about it. A modern person wouldn't do that at all.
M@ny h@appy r3turns, Wiz, and thanks for the mathom.
|
|
|
|
|
