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Meneldor
Valinor
Apr 11 2016, 8:43pm
Post #1 of 37
(1547 views)
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The Hobbit Caption Contest, IIIrd Time's the Charm
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I'm sharing a capture from the Appendices this week, something that appeals to me and my twisted sense of recreational entertainment:
Fire up the forges and hammer out your captions, ye mighty wordsmiths!
They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters, these see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep. -Psalm 107
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Otaku-sempai
Immortal
Apr 11 2016, 8:52pm
Post #2 of 37
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"Last one to the buffet is a rotten mushroom!" //
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"Things need not to have happened to be true.
Tales and dreams are the shadow-truths that will endure
when mere facts are dust and ashes, and forgot."
- Dream of the Endless
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Darkstone
Immortal
Apr 11 2016, 8:53pm
Post #3 of 37
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"With cat-like tread,/ Upon our prey we steal...." /
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******************************************
“Begone, foul dwimmerlaik, lord of carrion! Leave the dead in peace!"
"Come not between the Nazgul and his prey! Or he will not slay thee in thy turn. He will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye."
"Do what you will; but I will hinder it, if I may."
"Hinder me? Thou fool. No living man may hinder me!"
"But no living man am I! I am Eowyn, daughter of Theodwyn!”
"Er, really? My mother's name was Theodwyn, too!"
"No way!"
"Way!"
"Wow! Let's stop fighting and be best friends!"
"Cool!!"
-Zack Snyder's The Return of the King
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cats16
Half-elven
Apr 11 2016, 8:56pm
Post #4 of 37
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The long-awaited dwarf calendar reveals itself...//
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Join us every weekend in the Hobbit movie forum for this week's CHOW (Chapter of the Week) discussion!
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Avandel
Half-elven
Apr 11 2016, 9:42pm
Post #5 of 37
(1388 views)
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New York’s dull “Fashion Week” receives a badly needed boost from this exciting runway show by Thorin & Co.
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Apr 11 2016, 9:45pm
Post #6 of 37
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And, alas! The “Infamous Massacre of the Twelve-year-old Truant” had begun. //
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"I never said most of the things I said."
- Yogi & Me
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Kilidoescartwheels
Valinor
Apr 12 2016, 2:13am
Post #9 of 37
(1342 views)
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Aaaargh! And the Tin Man thinks HIS suit needs oil!
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"You can't actually move" - Dean O'Gorman
Proud member of the BOFA Denial Association
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Sarahbor
Lorien
Apr 12 2016, 3:03am
Post #10 of 37
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given that I used this caption on a similar pic I made:
"The ice cream truck driver always hated stopping at Erebor"
Hobbit/LOTR cartoons & humor: http://www.sarahbor.com/
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Lissuin
Valinor
Apr 12 2016, 7:16am
Post #11 of 37
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"The Dwarves Are Gonna Rumble"
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https://www.youtube.com/...lo&nohtml5=False
to the tune of Jet Song, West Side Story
.................................
When you're a Dwarf,
You're a Dwarf all the way
From your first battle axe
To your last dyin' day.
When you're a Dwarf,
If the spit hits the fan,
You got brothers around,
You're a family man!
You're never alone,
You're never disconnected!
You're home with your own:
When company's expected,
You're well protected!
Then you are set
With a capital D,
Which you'll never forget
'Cause, man, you got the key!
When you're a Dwarf,
You stay a Dwarf!
...............................
When you're a Dwarf,
You're the top cat in town,
You're the gold medal kid
With the heavyweight crown!
When you're a Dwarf,
You're the swingin'est thing:
Little boy, you're a man;
Little man, you're a king!
The Dwarves are in gear,
Our chainmail is a'clickin'!
The orcs'll steer clear
'Cause ev'ry Gundabad orc's a lousy chicken!
Here come the Dwarves
Like a bat out of hell.
Someone gets in our way,
Someone don't feel so well!
Here come the Dwarves:
Little world, step aside!
Better go underground,
Better run, better hide!
We're drawin' the line,
So keep your noses hidden!
We're hangin' a sign,
Says "Visitors forbidden"
And we ain't kiddin'!
Here come the Dwarves,
Yeah! And we're gonna kill
Ev'ry last buggin' gang
On the whole buggin' hill!
On the whole!
Buggin!
Ever!
Lovin'!
Hill!
Yeah!
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dormouse
Half-elven
Apr 12 2016, 9:44am
Post #12 of 37
(1308 views)
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Thorin reckoned a stealthy approach would be best...
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..but the clash of their armour that was fair and terrible came even to the City!
For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood and every spring
there is a different green. . .
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Silverlode
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Apr 12 2016, 12:54pm
Post #13 of 37
(1282 views)
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To pass the time before the battle starts, the dwarves play a rousing game of Red Light, Green Light. //
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Silverlode
Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known.
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OldestDaughter
Rohan
Apr 12 2016, 9:22pm
Post #15 of 37
(1234 views)
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I belive the NFL football is on too often in my house.
"Keen, heart-piercing was her song as the song of the lark that rises from the gates of night and pours its voice among the dying stars, seeing the sun behind the walls of the world; and the song of Lúthien released the bonds of winter, and the frozen waters spoke, and flowers sprang from the cold earth where her feet had passed."
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Apr 13 2016, 5:46pm
Post #18 of 37
(1164 views)
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After secret ballot a consensus was reached and The Twelve decided to assassinate the intolerable Thorin and select a new leader. //
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"I never said most of the things I said."
- Yogi & Me
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Meneldor
Valinor
Apr 14 2016, 3:04am
Post #19 of 37
(1128 views)
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They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters, these see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep. -Psalm 107
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Lissuin
Valinor
Apr 14 2016, 3:26am
Post #20 of 37
(1124 views)
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Hmmm, so you're saying Thorin wasn't just a paranoid git after all? //
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ange1e4e5
Gondor
Apr 14 2016, 2:20pm
Post #21 of 37
(1110 views)
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Charge!
I always follow my job through.
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Riven Delve
Tol Eressea
Apr 14 2016, 2:22pm
Post #22 of 37
(1103 views)
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“Tollers,” Lewis said to Tolkien, “there is too little of what we really like in stories. I am afraid we shall have to try and write some ourselves.”
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LSF
Gondor
Apr 14 2016, 3:05pm
Post #23 of 37
(1090 views)
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"Nobody trip, nobody trip... We'll never get up again and Dain will laugh at us... Ori no!"
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Avandel
Half-elven
Apr 14 2016, 3:47pm
Post #24 of 37
(1099 views)
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...although the attempt failed after The Twelve were attacked by maddened hair fans...
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"Tell our readers how you were able to foil this *dastardly, shameful plot* and preserve the monarchy at Erebor?!"
The reporter hastily stepped back as the Fang-gir-iell idly swung a viciously barbed spear in his direction. Her eyes gleamed with anger as she spat "Huh. It was never a big secret that Richard Armitage has an army of women at his back (well, mostly women). And like any battlefield, the surrounding area was full of food trucks, party suppliers, and female healers."
"More than one of those vile betrayers blabbed after that barrel of "Mirkwood Oblivion" even tho, like, you have to sign a waiver before we even sell it to you! That one dwarf, what's his name, the one with the hat, started singing this song about what a great king he would be, and how the Durins weren't all that special and he was going to shave the heads of the Princes and make Thorin's hair into a sweater for Ori."
"So it wasn't all twelve, because of course after that Dwalin, Fili, Kili, Balin, and Gloin and Oin joined up with us to deal with the traitors....."
The reporter delicately inquired "But how fares the #Majestic King? What became of the betrayers?"
The Fang-gir-iell sniffed. "How oft does evil ever mar itself? Things could not have turned out for the better, actually. The shock of the betrayal snapped His #Majesty out of his brooding - the threat to his nephews, yah know. 'Course we Fang-gir-iells had all kinds of plans for these traitors involving curling irons, but His #Majesty had an elegant solution."
"I tell you what, after Thranduil and Thorin had a little talk, and then Thranduil's elite warriors surrounded the prisoners - we felt kind of sorry for Ori, he was crying so much. But then again, we were kind of distracted because there was this great view of the Durins and Thranduil and Legolas and Bard and Bilbo all lined up on the Erebor walls, the fading sunlight blazing off their hair as it streamed perfectly in the breeze - all of Middle Earth must have heard the cheering. When Thorin put his hand on Bilbo's shoulder and they smiled at each other, we all just started crying and pounding our axes and calling "A thousand years for the Durins!"
"Later we found out that those creepy orcs were trying to tunnel under the mountains to sneak up on Erebor, but they hadn't studied soil science and the tunnels collapsed on the entire army - except for Azog, 'coz an irritated were-worm just swallowed him. The ravens told us that his spawn Bolg got an infection from his piercings, and fell off his warg in a daze and was stepped on by a troll, so that's that."
"We Fang-gir-iells are working overtime to bring comfort to His #Majesty, and, yah know, Thorin didn't fall off a cliff yesterday. He's had to deal with jealousy and threats all his life. Thorin knows it just comes with the territory, when you have the best hair in Middle Earth. Funny thing is, Thranduil has been an *unexpected* and amazing moral support, because he's had to fend off more than one embittered elf sporting scissors over hundreds of years."
"And of course, the Hobbit is a great and true friend to His #Majesty. That was probably the worst punishment the conspirators could have had, being yelled at by Bilbo Baggins. At any rate, from the look on Thranduil's face, don't think we will be seeing those dwarves again. They were begging Thorin to let Dain punish them when they were hauled away."
(This post was edited by Avandel on Apr 14 2016, 4:00pm)
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Kilidoescartwheels
Valinor
Apr 14 2016, 7:39pm
Post #25 of 37
(1056 views)
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You're the BEST!
Proud member of the BOFA Denial Association
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