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lionoferebor
Rohan
Feb 7 2016, 6:03am
Post #1 of 12
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Children and cellphones
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My soon to be 10 year old son has been asking for a cellphone. He says all of his friends have cellphones and I have a few friends who's 9, 10, and 11 year olds have cellphones, but I honestly do not see why a child that young needs a cellphone. So, at what age do you think a child is responsible enough to have a cellphone? I would really like to hear your opinions on this, especially you parents and guardians. Thanks.
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Old Toby
Grey Havens
Feb 7 2016, 6:52am
Post #2 of 12
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but I have seen enough irresponsible people - both young and old - to be wary. It's primarily the responsibility factor. I came very close to hitting a young lady (probably in her late teens) with my car who just walked across the street without even looking in either direction first, and she was so intent on texting on her phone that she never was aware I was even there, let alone that she almost was hit!
From what I've seen, and from what some of my friends have told me, the majority of children spend their time texting their friends, just to chat. Personally I think it's a bad idea that leads to lack of human interaction so necessary in communication and fosters ghastly spelling abilities! (And I'm talking about adults here!)
"Age is always advancing and I'm fairly sure it's up to no good." Harry Dresden (Jim Butcher)
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sevilodorf
Tol Eressea
Feb 7 2016, 3:38pm
Post #3 of 12
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beyond the all my friends have one.
A cell phone today is not just a phone.... it's a watch, a calculator, a camera, a recorder, a compass, a game boy, a newspaper, a tv, an encyclopedia, a tracking device, a radio, a music player, a calendar, .....
My reaction to kids with phones was initially the same as yours but the fourth graders in my class explained all the different practical ways they used their phones. Of course, some of them didn't use them properly and had them taken by their parents or the school (check with the school as to their policies regarding phones-- and teach him how to put it on silence --)
Also of course talk to him about safety.... not just the texting and walking but how to LOCK the thing so that if you walk off and leave it no one has your life at their fingertips. Also discuss the practicalities of cost -- how those 35 a month ads are seldom what they seem and how much a phone and connectivity costs in hours worked.
Ultimately it's an individual decision based on need, finances and levels of responsibility...there are ways to limit phone availability to certain hours and times.
Fourth Age Adventures at the Inn of the Burping Troll http://burpingtroll.com
Home of TheOneRing.net Best FanFic stories of 2005 and 2006 "The Last Grey Ship" and "Ashes, East Wind, Hope That Rises" by Erin Rua
(Found in Mathoms, LOTR Tales Untold)
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Dame Ioreth
Tol Eressea
Feb 7 2016, 4:30pm
Post #4 of 12
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My five kids got cell phones in high school
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That's when I started to have to keep track of more and more after school activities and they needed to be able to tell me if plans were changed or cancelled. It was a matter of being able to communicate with me so I could keep all the balls in the air and get all of them where they needed to be. Our family had an actual need for them to be in contact.
As for the "everyone else has one" reason - that is never a good enough reason for anything in my house. We don't buy labels and we're not a brand name kind of family and none of us are crowd followers. It's just not in our DNA.
_
Heed WBA when building blanket forts.
ITLs don't get enough FAS. :)
Where there's life there's hope, and need of vittles.
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
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Gianna
Rohan
Feb 7 2016, 9:48pm
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I would not allow my future child a cell phone until he/she was at least sixteen. I see so many little kids glued to their cell phones now and it's sad. There's one winter I remember when I was eight or so, and on the day of the first big snow I spent an entire afternoon - hours - playing in the snow. Then there are the eight- and nine-year-olds I babysit now. They have phones and TVs and all that, and I rarely, rarely see them playing outside when I walk by their house. And when I babysit, they spend most of the time on their electronics.
It ultimately depends on the individual child, but I wouldn't think a ten-year-old is responsible enough to limit phone time and use properly. I would much rather see a child playing an imaginative game outside or building with legos than absorbed in a computer device.
~There's some good left in this world. And it's worth fighting for.~
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My LOTR-inspired fantasy novel is on Amazon
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Meneldor
Valinor
Feb 7 2016, 10:09pm
Post #6 of 12
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If they really really REALLY want cell phones...
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...they should be able to buy their own, with their own money that they've earned themselves. That teaches a lot more about responsibility and value than having parents buy them what they want.
They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters, these see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep. -Psalm 107
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Sarahbor
Lorien
Feb 8 2016, 3:27am
Post #7 of 12
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Make sure they can add and tell time first
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Otherwise they'll never be able to do it without a cell phone.
OK, that was a joke, but there's no reason a 10-year-old needs a cell phone. I'm not a parent, but I would say wait until they're in high school. I've seen too many young kids glued to smartphones instead of running around outside like they're supposed to. It's depressing. I didn't get one until I was 16 (I'm 27 now). And to all you 10-year-olds with smartphones, let me tell you that when I was your age, they weren't invented yet!  
Hobbit/LOTR cartoons & humor: http://www.sarahbor.com/
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Riven Delve
Tol Eressea
Feb 8 2016, 5:47pm
Post #8 of 12
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Do you mean just a cell phone, or a smartphone?
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To me, they are two entirely different things. I got my daughter a cell phone when she hit middle school because she was on her own more often, or needed to be picked up, etc., and I didn't want her to have to depend on other people in order to contact me. BUT it was just a cheap prepaid phone that hardly cost me anything--and she'd only use it when absolutely necessary, because it was a hideous little brick phone and not cool at all.
However, anything that allows your child to connect to the Internet opens up a whole new world for you as a parent in terms of both opportunity and danger. My daughter has an iPod Touch that allows her to use Instagram, Twitter, etc. In some ways, it is terrifying to allow your child access to that scary world out there. You, as the parent, have to limit and/or monitor your child as necessary, or, more importantly, arm your child and make sure they know the dangers of potentially communicating with people (possibly perverts) they don't know. I can't get over how kids so willingly open themselves up to cyberbullying rather than just quitting the thing...there are obviously addictive qualities! (But clearly I am a dinosaur who prefers paper books to social media.) And yes, she can do half of her homework online with the thing, and write papers even, and create videos and Vines and what have you.
Anyway, with my son, who's eleven...he's asked for a smartphone or iPod Touch too. I know that there is serious peer pressure for him to have one, and to be able to text his friends. (In fact, he has had this pressure on him since a second grade field trip, when he was the ONLY child on the entire bus who did not have some kind of electronic device to play with.) However, social interaction is not nearly as important to him as it is to my daughter, so I've been able to put him off. He doesn't seem to mind that much, and I have my daughter's old iPod in reserve in case he suddenly gets desperate! But I want to put off his entering that world for as long as possible, because as a parent I find it a formidable challenge.
I don't know if that helps, lionoferebor. You know your child best! 
“Tollers,” Lewis said to Tolkien, “there is too little of what we really like in stories. I am afraid we shall have to try and write some ourselves.”
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Darkstone
Immortal
Feb 8 2016, 6:25pm
Post #9 of 12
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The main reason I'd say a child needs a phone is for safety purposes. Of course stuff like texting and the internet can be dangerous.
You might try looking into the Filip 2, which is an ugly bulky wrist-worn parental limited listing phone with position locator that your kid will probably hate.
Then there's the Australian-made Kisa for kids which is much like the Filip (limited listing, no internet, no texting, no camera).
There's other such limiting types especialy made for child safety.
Of course your kid might just be asking you to say "no" so he/she will be able to respond to their friends questions on why they don't have a smart phone. Sometimes they want a "bad guy" just so they don't have to explain themselves.
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NottaSackville
Valinor
Feb 8 2016, 9:51pm
Post #10 of 12
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10 is around the age when our kids got cell phones
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We always swore our kids wouldn't get these things until much later. But with Mrs. Notta being handicapped, she needed a way to tell the kids she was there to pick them up.
And then there is the unfortunate truth that we can all be sticks in the mud as much as we want, but the culture HAS changed. Kids don't call on the house phone anymore. If a kid is the one without texting, or Kik, or whatever their favorite app is right now, they WILL NOT get invited. Because the other kids just can't be bothered enough. They blast out a "hey - who wants to do X" to the group, and only those that respond get involved. It sucks, but it is true. It becomes a social handicap that is a punishment. I know good, solid, well-meaning parents whom I respect very much who have finally caved for this very reason.
And then of course we have the whole "a phone opens up the entire world to your child", and it scares the living daylights out of me. We teach, and we cajole and we check up on the phones. There's no easy out here, but there's absolutely nothing about a 16-year old's hormones that make them more suitable to having a phone for the first time than a 10-year old's.
And in the end, we have one Nottette who treats the phone exactly like we'd like her to - she's not tied to it, she follows our rules, and it's just a device that is useful to her. And we've got one Nottette who...is a headache when it comes to her phone. It's the way of kids :)
Giving a phone to a kid at the age of 10 doesn't mean you're a bad parent. It doesn't mean you're a good parent, either. It just means that that's what you've decided to do and you've weighed all the good things against all the bad things and decided it was time. After that, it's up to you do continue to parent the kid AND phone.
Notta
 Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville
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Meneldor
Valinor
Feb 9 2016, 7:09pm
Post #11 of 12
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There was an article in today's paper
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that said in the headline that texting one-handed can lead to repetitive motion injuries. I wasn't interested enough to read it, but I thought I'd throw it out there. Carry on.
They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters, these see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep. -Psalm 107
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Cirashala
Valinor
Feb 21 2016, 3:45am
Post #12 of 12
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THANK YOU for being willing to do some research and ask around before buying them for your kids. Too many just cave and I have seen six year olds with smartphones and it appalls me, to be honest.
My husband and I decided long ago that if our child wants a cell phone, they need to be able to pay for both the phone and the service plan (they'll be on their own plan, so if they go over they're responsible for taking care of the overages). Thus, they'll need a job first. I think that allows a kid to learn how to save money, learn personal responsibility (they'll be a LOT less careless with that expensive phone if they had to work for three months to save for it!), and start learning how the real world works in terms of getting something by paying for it and paying a cell phone bill on time every month.
Now, that being said, I will acquiesce that they will get a cheap pre-paid cell phone when they start learning how to drive for safety reasons (you can still call 911 (emergency services for my non-US tornsibs- aka police, fire, ambulance) without having any minutes on a phone as long as it's charged). I would want them to be able to call us if there's an emergency or if they're going to be late home (and why). However, it's not going to have any internet capability on it or texting, just calling (and a limited number of minutes) and be stashed in the glove box for emergencies.
But if they want a device that calls and texts, they'll have to pay for the phone and the service plan first (which means they need a job first). And my final stipulation- they will NOT have internet on their phones (I will have the phone company turn it off) until they're 18. By then, they should have learned about internet safety, cyberstranger danger, and driving without it on and paying attention to their surroundings (all will be taught at 17 before they are allowed to purchase it).
That's what we plan to do, at least. You know your kid best, and thus you should make the best decision for your family. If he simply wants one because "everyone else has it", then I would think (to me) that's not a good enough reason, especially for a $600+ phone and a service plan with data and internet. And I would strongly caution you to just get him a flip phone (not a smartphone) that can call and text but not do anything else.
Also be aware- he's ten now, so sexting probably won't be an issue for a couple years (or hopefully never), but any child with a phone these days MUST be aware of the serious legal and physical consequences of taking illicit pictures of themselves, even if it's just to send to a boyfriend/girlfriend. It's still legally considered producing and distributing child porn, and it's also very dangerous if a pervert gets their hands on the pic. And it can be socially damaging as well if the picture is shared through school.
I think you need to have a long chat with your son about why he wants one, the family rules if he gets one, the rules/limits on internet usage (see if you can set parental controls for it), the rules about sending pictures (even flip phones usually have that feature- I own a flip myself because I can't stand smartphones) and the real consequences about sending the wrong type of pictures, etc. I'd also chat with your spouse, if you have one, and approach it together (this eliminates the "good parent/bad parent" dilemma if you're both on the same page) after you've made your decision.
And especially this- make sure he knows to only limit his time on it to no more than an hour a day so he still gets the chance to go outside and be a kid.
Anyway, that's my suggestion on it. As I said above, he's your child and you know him best. I'm sure you'll make the right decision for him and for your family, whether it be yes or no But I do strongly suggest a chat with your spouse and then your child so you can present a united front either way.
Good luck!
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