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The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey - The Scripted Edit
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clouddragon94@gmail.com
The Shire

Nov 4 2015, 10:09pm

Post #1 of 39 (1734 views)
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The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey - The Scripted Edit Can't Post

As many of you probably know, there have been numerous fanedits of the Hobbit for the past months. However, many of them don't condense the trilogy to its originally planned two films. This is what I plan on doing in my fanedit... but with a twist. Rather than being in the form of an edited movie, the edit will be in movie script form. Some of you may dismiss this edit automatically after hearing just that, but I urge you to give it a chance and give it a read.

So the main goal of the Scripted Edit was to create two films out of the trilogy in a similar fashion to the originally planned movies, while also improving on the source material (the films).

There will be two versions of each script: a theatrical version and an extended version. This is because, two films or no, Jackson would have had Extended Editions of the films anyway.

Now, time for the main changes of the overall story in my edit:

- Radagast toned down
- More focus on Bilbo
- Azog is replaced as Bolg as the main villain of the duology
- Tauriel and Legolas reduced to cameos
- Alfred will die during Smaug’s attack
- Padding/unnecessary scenes will be cut
- Some EE scenes will be used
- Dwarves Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Ori and Nori are cut, with most of Bofur’s lines and personality going to Fili (who I personally find bland). This is meant to add more character to the remaining dwarves and allow them more time to shine. I assure you, cutting these dwarves will not alter the plot in any kind of way.

Now, time for the scenes that were removed in this edit. The fist film/script is the only one yet completed. Keep in mind that the first film in this edit covers Bag End to the Woodland Realm. Any scene that is not in the Theatrical Edition of the script but is in the Extended Edition of the script will have (In EE) beside it. The Extended Edition script will be released on Friday.

SCENES REMOVED
- Dwarven prologue; I felt that the backstory would be told in a much better way from the dwarves themselves rather than through narration.
- Old Bilbo prologue
- Dwalin/Balin headbump
- Some dwarf-feast scenes
- ‘Blunt the Knives’ sequence and the scene that preceded it; this scene was cut because I wanted to get out of Bag End as soon as possible. (In EE)
- Table exposition shortened
- Balin/Thorin scene in Bag End; this was cut for the sake of time and nothing else (In EE)
- Dwarves betting on Bilbo
- Moria Battle story moved to Beorn’s House; this was originally intended when the trilogy was two movies
- Radagast cutaway; slows down the first act and can be too cartoony in some places (In EE)
- Troll conversation cut down
- Dwarves vs. trolls; a fight scene that overcrowds the movie (In EE)
- The parasite argument, etc.
- Radagast antics (stick bug, smoking weed)
- Witch King in Dol Guldur; having the Witch King included ruins the suspense of the possibility of the Nazgul’s return that is teased in scene like the White Council/The High Fells
- Dwarves ‘closing ranks’ in Rivendell
- Reordered scenes in Rivendell in similar fashion to the ‘Arkenstone Edition’ of AUJ
- Weathertop scene
- Dwarves partying in Rivendell (in EE)
- Shortened White Council
- Gandalf/Galadriel scene; once the dwarves leave Rivendell, we should too (In EE)
- Stone Giant fight; another action sequence that overcrowds the movie (In EE)
- Azog outside of the Misty Mountains
- Riddles in the dark scene shortened slightly (full length in EE)
- Goblin Town chase; yet another action scene that overcrowds the movie
- Out of the frying pan chase; after we see Bolg in the Misty Mountains, we cut straight to the Wilderland chase
- Gandalf and Thorin in Bree
- Bilbo reporting on Bolg to the dwarves
- Bilbo playing with the Ring in Beorn’s house; we should just tease the evil of the Ring, not feature it constantly
- Bolg/Necromancer scene (has been moved to TABA)
- Gandalf/Bilbo scene outside Mirkwood; another scene that focuses on the Ring just a little too much (in EE)
- Tauriel/Kili scene in Mirkwood
- Legolas and Tauriel talking about Kili
- Thranduil/Tauriel talking about Legolas
- Orcs sneaking around the Woodland Realm; Bolg’s attack at the - Forest River should be somewhat surprising
- Feast of Starlight scene
- Kili getting shot; instead, he dodges the arrows
- Shortened the barrel chase
- High Fells scene (moved to TABA)

The following are scenes from the Extended Editions that were added into the movie:

SCENES ADDED
- Shire marketplace scene
- Kili at the Rivendell feast
- Bilbo scenes in Rivendell
- Gandalf/Elrond argument about Thorin
- Added a few lines about Bilbo picking up the acorn in Beorn’s garden
- Beorn/Gandalf scene talking about the Necromancer
- White Stag in Mirkwood
- Other Mirkwood scenes

If you have any questions about why I cut/added scenes, feel free to ask! If not, enjoy the script below!

https://thescriptededit.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/the-hobbit-an-unexpected-journey-scripted-edit-te.pdf

NOTE: I created an extremely rough edit (which will not be released), that has made all the same cuts that my script has. This gives me an estimate for both the Theatrical and Extended Versions which are: 157 minutes for Theatrical (with end credits) and 175 minutes for Extended (with end credits).


Smaug the iron
Gondor


Nov 4 2015, 10:32pm

Post #2 of 39 (1651 views)
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You lost me att [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To
Dwarves Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Ori and Nori are cut,

FrownFrownFrown


clouddragon94@gmail.com
The Shire

Nov 4 2015, 10:40pm

Post #3 of 39 (1631 views)
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I Understand [In reply to] Can't Post

I assure you it's for the best inentions! But I do understand!


Smaug the iron
Gondor


Nov 4 2015, 10:42pm

Post #4 of 39 (1628 views)
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Just a question [In reply to] Can't Post

Why them and not Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Fili or Kili?


DainPig
Gondor


Nov 4 2015, 10:43pm

Post #5 of 39 (1626 views)
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I DON'T understand [In reply to] Can't Post

If there's no Ori, Dori, Nori, Bombur, Bifur and Bofur, so how do the trilogy works??? What about Bilbo's goodbye? In the farewell scene, all the dwarves are there, so how did you edit it?

How aaaaaaaaaaaaaare you all???
The pig, the life, the bacon

Hey guys, my blog is: dainpigblog.blogspot.com


clouddragon94@gmail.com
The Shire

Nov 4 2015, 11:32pm

Post #6 of 39 (1584 views)
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This Is A Scripted Edit [In reply to] Can't Post

The article clearly states that the fanedit is in the form of a movie script. By having it in the form of a script, I canjust type lines and actions for the seven remaining dwarves.The link to the script is at the bottom of the post


(This post was edited by clouddragon94@gmail.com on Nov 4 2015, 11:41pm)


clouddragon94@gmail.com
The Shire

Nov 4 2015, 11:39pm

Post #7 of 39 (1574 views)
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The Matter Of Dwarves [In reply to] Can't Post

Dwalin, Balin, Fili and Kili are the dwarves that have the most screentime (besides Thorin). I have to include Oin and Gloin because Gimli is referred to as the son of Gloin several times in LOTR, so to not have him in the film would ruin the continuity of the films. As for the other dwarves I have cut out, they have very little screentime and aren't that important to the story. The one exception is Bofur, but I have put all of his personality and most of his lines to Fili, who is kind of bland in the movies.


Never_Underestimate_A_Dwarf
Rivendell


Nov 5 2015, 12:25am

Post #8 of 39 (1544 views)
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How does that work? [In reply to] Can't Post

How can you transfer Bofur's personality into Fili? Bofur is this jolly drunken dwarf making puns and singing and Fili is the heir to Erebor and is supposed to be more "bland," as he is more serious. He's royalty, he's not a rough and comedic character.

Justice for Fili


clouddragon94@gmail.com
The Shire

Nov 5 2015, 12:57am

Post #9 of 39 (1521 views)
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Fili Has No Personality [In reply to] Can't Post

What I wanted to do was give Fili a personality. There is not one time where Fili stands out as being unique to the other dwarves. And yes while Bofur may be jolly and Fili may be serious and noble, why can't an heir to the throne be mischievous?


Never_Underestimate_A_Dwarf
Rivendell


Nov 5 2015, 3:01am

Post #10 of 39 (1464 views)
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Hmm, ok [In reply to] Can't Post

It's your creation and you have free reign to interpret it any way. All of the dwarves had a personality, though - even the ones with less screentime. Fili has one too.

Justice for Fili


TheOnlyOneAroundWithAnySense
Rohan


Nov 5 2015, 3:50am

Post #11 of 39 (1447 views)
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Yes, there is, small though it may be [In reply to] Can't Post

Fili inarguably carries the largest amount of weaponry on his person - and is most proud of them... and also the most miffed about losing them - as evidenced by his meeting Bilbo in Bag End and subsequent requisition of said weapons in Mirkwood. He is also fiercely loyal to his brother Kili and they have the closest bond between any of the others dwarves (save possibly Thorin, Balin and Dwalin) which we see during the joke about the orc pack and when he stays behind with his bro while the rest of the company heads off to Erebor. Because of the above combined with his every appearance, we can tell he is a headstrong warrior-type (like his slightly more reckless brother), balanced with the kind of clear-minded thinking that sometimes eludes his cousin Thorin. In this way, he might have actually made a great king.

Anyway, he is unique. They all are. Some of the credit belongs to Tolkien's rough outlines, but much of it belongs to Jackson and his writing crew who took what little was there and ran with it, though often what they have done here is vastly underrated and/or dismissed altogether.

"You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, f*** it."

- The Grand Budapest Hotel

(This post was edited by TheOnlyOneAroundWithAnySense on Nov 5 2015, 3:55am)


Avandel
Half-elven


Nov 5 2015, 5:45am

Post #12 of 39 (1409 views)
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Nicely said [In reply to] Can't Post

And like all good actors, Dean O'Gorman' s Fili is IMO exactly what he should be, and instantly someone I could relate to. Just the way he walked through the door. There are reasons a lot of folks wanted to see more of him.Unimpressed


MyWeeLadGimli
Lorien

Nov 5 2015, 6:31am

Post #13 of 39 (1389 views)
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It sounds like most of the fun is gone [In reply to] Can't Post

I love the Hobbit for its charm and whimsy, and the fact that it doesn't take itself as seriously as Lord of the Rings. It seems like most of the elements which captured that spirit of the book are gone from this edit (the songs, the other Dwarves, the trolls, Beorn introduction, etc.).

I'm sure there a lot of good things about this edit, but it doesn't sound as if it would capture as much of the book's charm as even PJ's films do.


clouddragon94@gmail.com
The Shire

Nov 5 2015, 10:40am

Post #14 of 39 (1313 views)
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There's Still Some Left [In reply to] Can't Post

The trolls are still there, I just removed all the toilet humor, which I can guarantee a wasn't in the book. The Blunt the Knives scene is in the EE version of the script, but was removed from the Theatrical script to keep things going. If anything, view the Extended Script as the complete script.


clouddragon94@gmail.com
The Shire

Nov 5 2015, 10:49am

Post #15 of 39 (1309 views)
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Good Points Made By Everyone [In reply to] Can't Post

There were good points made by everyone in regards to Fili. Perhaps I was to harsh on him, in retrospect. But I will say he has the hardest personality to pin down besides Oin and Gloin. He definitely has the hardest personality to pin down of all the 'main' dwarves (Balin, DwalinDwalin, Kili, Thorin)


Beorn's Bees
Lorien


Nov 5 2015, 11:53am

Post #16 of 39 (1294 views)
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Awesome [In reply to] Can't Post

For a long time I've tried to write my own screenplay for The Hobbit but I never really got it off the ground. It's difficult to do when the vision of the current films is engraved into your mind, but, although I haven't read yours yet, it looks like you managed to do it.

I know a few people on the boards have written their own really interesting Hobbit scripts. I look forward to reading yours later today!


Kilidoescartwheels
Tol Eressea


Nov 5 2015, 10:15pm

Post #17 of 39 (1163 views)
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Oh GOD! NOT that number 7 again??? [In reply to] Can't Post


In Reply To
The article clearly states that the fanedit is in the form of a movie script. By having it in the form of a script, I canjust type lines and actions for the seven remaining dwarves.The link to the script is at the bottom of the post


Seriously??? If you absolutely insist on cutting the number of Dwarves (which I think is a bad idea, btw), then do you HAVE to cut it to SEVEN? That number was already claimed by another story about Dwarves - bad call, IMO.

Proud member of the BOFA Denial Association


Kilidoescartwheels
Tol Eressea


Nov 5 2015, 10:16pm

Post #18 of 39 (1158 views)
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His brother beat him to that [In reply to] Can't Post

 

Proud member of the BOFA Denial Association


LSF
Gondor

Nov 5 2015, 10:22pm

Post #19 of 39 (1154 views)
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Hm... [In reply to] Can't Post

Bilbo Baggins and the Seven Dwarves... So Balin is obviously Doc, I guess Dwalin is Grumpy, or would that be Thorin? Hm... Tongue


Darkstone
Immortal


Nov 5 2015, 10:25pm

Post #20 of 39 (1153 views)
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So... [In reply to] Can't Post

...when everyone thinks Bilbo is dead and the seven Dwarves are grieving over him I guess it's Prince Legolas who kisses him awake.

I....don't think I want to see this version...

******************************************

"Mister Frodo, hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good frying pan at your side. I’ve been from one side of this garden to the other, I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful Providence controlling everything. There's no Music of the Ainur that controls my destiny. It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense."


clouddragon94@gmail.com
The Shire

Nov 5 2015, 10:47pm

Post #21 of 39 (1138 views)
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Never noticed that [In reply to] Can't Post

Crap, I never noticed that!


Mooseboy018
Grey Havens


Nov 6 2015, 5:38am

Post #22 of 39 (1073 views)
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pointless [In reply to] Can't Post

I'd say taking out any of the dwarves is completely pointless. Either keep them as mostly silent background characters as they were in the book (and the movies for the most part) or give them more to do, which is what PJ should have done. Just because some of them end up being more prominent than the others doesn't mean the rest have to disappear completely.


TheOnlyOneAroundWithAnySense
Rohan


Nov 6 2015, 6:02am

Post #23 of 39 (1062 views)
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P.J. gave them all more to do than in the book [In reply to] Can't Post

So, really, P.J. should have given them more than just some more to do, right?

"You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, f*** it."

- The Grand Budapest Hotel


Smaug the iron
Gondor


Nov 6 2015, 10:23am

Post #24 of 39 (1037 views)
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Not only that [In reply to] Can't Post

Seven Dwarves + one Hobbit + one wizard = the nine members of The Fellowship of the Arkenstone.


TheOnlyOneAroundWithAnySense
Rohan


Nov 6 2015, 2:56pm

Post #25 of 39 (1003 views)
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9 members of the fellowship and one gets offed 1/3 through the story [In reply to] Can't Post

Yet there is still not a whole lot of depth to Legolas or Gimli... and, strangely... not many people seem to get bent out of shape over it. I have a sneaky suspicion as to why: they are not the primary characters and our primary focus does not need to be with them for inordinate amounts of time.


Fast-forward eleven years after The Return of the King EE...


13 dwarves + 1 hobbit + 1 wizard + overall lighter tone - 2 1/2 hours of EE time = most people unhappy the main characters are the main focus and the secondary characters never really are. Moreover, Alfrid and Legolas supposedly have more screen time than our merry band of dwarves, but that is simply not true - even removing Thorin, Balin, Dwalin, Kili and Bofur from the equation (because their screen time dwarfs - pun intended - those of Alfrid and Legolas' quite easily) and you are left with 8 dwarves who actually do have nearly the same amount of time on-screen as the other two side characters. I'm a pest when it comes to the numbers and have a habit of timing everything, and when you take into account the entirety of AUJ, individual action/hero moments for each dwarf, and how often the whole group is shown together, their time is almost identical. How quick are we all to forget just how much time P.J. spent introducing and establishing the dwarves in AUJ! Don't we remember the lambasting this received from critics more casual to the world of Middle-earth?

Legolas is introduced nearly halfway into the entire plot and Alfrid even later than that. Legolas, Tauriel and Thranduil are our connection to the plight of the elves (which will matter come the battle) much the same way the Master, Alfrid and Bard are for mankind (and only two of them will remain come said battle) and to keep in mind an important fact, these 10 - 10! - side characters are not as essential as Bilbo, Thorin and Gandalf. I feel for those who prefer this dwarf to that dwarf, and that Legolas isn't in the book, and Alfrid's not funny, and etc. because, heck, it's how much we care about what's happening and to whom that matters and this differs from person-to-person and I get that. But let's keep this in perspective and remember the most important fact: everyone here is given so much more to enjoy and to be and to do (I miss you, Frodo Frown) than they were ever given in the novel and that should surely be enough because all of the major events from the source occur, outlines and afterthoughts are fleshed out and given personality, some things are changed and added to (an adaptation must be different and the adapting artist must be allowed to express him/herself freely, even if it ticks off those who cannot or will not separate the written work from the unique vision meant for cinema), and purely on cinematic grounds, it was extremely well-composed, well-directed, and well-acted with very little preparation time crafted over the course of a 266-day shooting schedule + nearly four more years of work on three movies back-to-back-to-back.

Some people are never happy; for everyone else, there's Peter Jackson's The Hobbit. This post wasn't necessarily meant for this thread only, but for the unimaginative and lazy write-offs of this trilogy as a whole. Apologies if it sounded slightly bitter and certainly long-winded. Lack of perspective is just annoying sometimes.

I'm going to seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense...

[To a corpse] "You're looking so well, darling, you really are. They've done a marvelous job. I don't know what sort of cream they've put on you down at the morgue, but I want some."
- The Grand Budapest Hotel

(This post was edited by TheOnlyOneAroundWithAnySense on Nov 6 2015, 3:03pm)

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