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Avandel
Half-elven
Aug 24 2015, 11:10pm
Post #26 of 37
(607 views)
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BREAKING NEWS -
The United Nations met in an emergency session today, to discuss, for the first time in known written history, on the crafting of a document that implores a ruler to choose a bride with all due speed. Globally, nearly a quarter of the legally adult female population seems to engaging in shocking acts of aggression and sabotage against each other. One notable incident culminated in an entire town clogging its sewage system after a mysterious outbreak of hair loss in the population that sent an overload of hair into the drains. The "hair freak" responsible (now in custody) refused to divulge as to how she accomplished the multiple assaults, but merely happily insists that as the only person in town with hair, she's "now the prettiest one".
Drugstores and physicians worldwide have reported runs on hair growth products, and various manufacturing firms have had to add extra security to their warehouses - even going as far as flying cargo planes crammed with hair growth medications on a 24-hour, nonstop schedule and refueling in mid-air. "It's cheaper than dealing with a riot at a warehouse and the resulting lawsuits" one company official explained.
But. "It's nothing to us if Thorin Oakenshield chooses a bride" sneered a booted woman in leather jeans who sported so many hair extensions that the breeze was catching the microbraids and rocking her backward. Her companion, battling a tangled mass of suspiciously colored blue-black hair that reached to her knees, nodded knowingly. "Plenty of cliffs in those mountains", she observed. "And Thorin, being a dwarf, can fully appreciate the best woman winning. It's just like Conan the Barbarian and Valeria - so ROMANTIC!!!"
The Lord of Silver Fountains, the King of Carven Stone, He of the Penultimate Sable Locks, the High King of the Dwarves, the Voice, the King-Who-Moves-Like-A-Tiger, the Heart-stopping Crystal-Azure-Eyed darkling angel who... (sorry).
*Ahem*
His Lord Thorin Oakenshield and his heroic sister-sons, the celebrated and unworldlylyly *slap* handsome Princes Fili and Kili are still recovering from their recent battles and are unavailable for comment. But the acting regent of Erebor, the fiery Lord Dain of the Iron Hills, has stated that he "completely approves of these high-spirited lasses and is pleasantly surprised by their imaginative, take-no-prisoners attitude." He feels that if he had known that his cousin and nephews were so INSPIRATIONAL, he never would have let Thorin migrate to the Blue Mountains. "Any woman who fights the way these girlies do - like three male battle goats during mating season - is welcome in any dwarf kingdom, anytime." he grinned. "And who can say, one of them might just scoop our 'wee Ori up for a snuggle. No finer sight than feminine feet shod in iron to the knees".
  
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Avandel
Half-elven
Aug 24 2015, 11:27pm
Post #27 of 37
(600 views)
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Hm, and if I auctioned off a lock of Thorin's hair, would it pay for my trip to New Zealand?
Are you kidding? Look at some of the pictures you put up. We could auction off the very DIRT from his BOOTS.
It would fund not just New Zealand, but a side trip to Australia....and I have often thought, reading the cost of the costumes, weapons, and so on, as Brian Fuller has so recently commented about Richard Armitage as a canvas - that what an actor to lavish care on, in that way - talk about owning your look......*THUD*
What was this thread about again? Oh - right. Well, not only should all the Durins live, but let's bring back his brother Frerin - there's the sequel right there.
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Eldy
Tol Eressea
Aug 24 2015, 11:53pm
Post #28 of 37
(599 views)
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I dunno if damage is the word I would use, I think "change" is more neutral and I try to be as evenhanded in my language as I can in these sorts of movie discussions (particularly since I have fairly strong opinions), but I'm just rolling with the phrasing in the OP.
I did a fair bit of thinking about the death scenes of the three dwarves after I saw BOFA for the first time because something felt off about them. The action scenes in general were among the better ones of the trilogy on a technical level, and normally I would have applauded the decision to show actual consequences for major characters. But the whole thing felt false, and not just because all the characters would have died multiple times over if the films had been following physics, so it felt rather arbitrary to turn physics back on right at the end. I guess more to the point, it felt like the deaths were only there because they were in the book, and the writers figured changing that was a bridge too far, even though killing off Thorin is at odds with his portrayal in the rest of the trilogy.
I mean, book Thorin is old, he's settled and relatively comfortable (one of the first things we see him do in Bag End is flaunt his gold chain like an '80s rapper) and he's not really a warrior at that point in his life, but he's bitter and vengeful and already on the greedy side long before getting to Erebor. In the movie he's still vengeful, but he's also much younger, ambitious, but also melancholy and soulful. The handsomeness is beside the point because he was written as a heartthrob type character no matter who might have played him. He's also much more selfless and comes around to Bilbo far too quickly (probably a product of the three film split rather than anything earlier in the writing process), and his "dragon sickness" is portrayed as a supernatural corruption rather than a natural outgrowth of his existing character traits.
So Thorin dying in the book is basically karma coming back to bite him but it's also his redemption for the things he's done. Whereas in the movie he doesn't need redemption for his own sins so much as vengeance against the forces of evil that had been playing with his mind, which of course ties into the change in focus for the battle itself, form being a massive fight over the remnants of Smaug's domain and a settling of scores on all sides, to being a part of the ultimate battle of good and evil in the world, with Thorin decisively on the side of the good guys.
I haven't followed the behind-the-scenes stuff for The Hobbit particularly closely since the old vlog days, but I'm reminded of what Pj said about the Army of the Dead in the ROTK-EE commentary track. I'm paraphrasing from memory here, but he basically said that he didn't like the idea of an army of invincible ghosts but since they were in the book he felt compelled to throw them in. He also made similar comments about Sauron as a disembodied eyeball. Now, neither of these things are actually in the books (the ghosts aren't invincible and Sauron had a body), but I think you can see evidence of the reluctant and perfunctory nature of those elements in how awkward they fit into the rest of the films, and the amount of criticism directed at them (including from people who have no reason to know PJ's motivation for including them).
I don't want to stretch the analogy too far because I think there were a number of well-done things in the death scenes and I wouldn't put them on the same level as the Dead at Minas Tirith. But they ultimately felt tacked on, unrelated to the preceding character progressions in the trilogy, and like they couldn't even hold the filmmakers' attention, given the number of cuts back to Legolas v Bolg during the fight. So ultimately, having Thorin survive would be a pretty superficial change, because his role in the films was already so different.
But the superficial changes have always been the ones that get people up in arms so 
There's a feeling I get, when I look to the West...
(This post was edited by Eldorion on Aug 24 2015, 11:54pm)
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Avandel
Half-elven
Aug 25 2015, 12:46am
Post #29 of 37
(566 views)
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Always King Under the Mountain...
Always
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Elarie
Grey Havens
Aug 25 2015, 12:49am
Post #30 of 37
(561 views)
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I love it - "Please, Your Majesty! Just PICK one!"
__________________
Gold is the strife of kinsmen,
and fire of the flood-tide,
and the path of the serpent.
(Old Icelandic Fe rune poem)
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Silverlode
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Aug 25 2015, 7:10am
Post #31 of 37
(531 views)
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We'd have to open the special "Flame War" Fiesta Bar and start serving out popcorn and S'mores ingredients to all comers because it would get very very hot around here.
Silverlode
Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known.
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leonmuse
Rivendell
Aug 25 2015, 1:02pm
Post #32 of 37
(468 views)
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Peter Jackson COULD have retrofitted him into ROTK in an all-new scene featuring the Battle for Dale at the time. Now just imagine a Dale battle in ROTK, with Thorin in it, going on simultaneously with the Pellenor Fields battle!
 
__________________________________________________________
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
But, sad or merry, I must leave it now. Farewell."
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Avandel
Half-elven
Aug 26 2015, 1:27am
Post #33 of 37
(387 views)
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I mean, book Thorin is old, he's settled and relatively comfortable (one of the first things we see him do in Bag End is flaunt his gold chain like an '80s rapper) and he's not really a warrior at that point in his life, but he's bitter and vengeful and already on the greedy side long before getting to Erebor. In the movie he's still vengeful, but he's also much younger, ambitious, but also melancholy and soulful. The handsomeness is beside the point because he was written as a heartthrob type character no matter who might have played him. He's also much more selfless and comes around to Bilbo far too quickly (probably a product of the three film split rather than anything earlier in the writing process), and his "dragon sickness" is portrayed as a supernatural corruption rather than a natural outgrowth of his existing character traits.
So Thorin dying in the book is basically karma coming back to bite him but it's also his redemption for the things he's done. Whereas in the movie he doesn't need redemption for his own sins so much as vengeance against the forces of evil that had been playing with his mind, which of course ties into the change in focus for the battle itself, form being a massive fight over the remnants of Smaug's domain and a settling of scores on all sides, to being a part of the ultimate battle of good and evil in the world, with Thorin decisively on the side of the good guys
I thought this was really well-written - don't wholly agree with all, but some really nice writing IMO and made me think - thank you for posting!
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Kim
Valinor
Aug 26 2015, 1:49am
Post #34 of 37
(382 views)
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those of us who have been floating down the River on a houseboat can provide the blenders and fruity drinks to help people cool off! 
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Kilidoescartwheels
Valinor
Aug 26 2015, 1:31pm
Post #36 of 37
(354 views)
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"I did a fair bit of thinking about the death scenes of the three dwarves after I saw BOFA for the first time because something felt off about them. The action scenes in general were among the better ones of the trilogy on a technical level, and normally I would have applauded the decision to show actual consequences for major characters. But the whole thing felt false, and not just because all the characters would have died multiple times over if the films had been following physics, so it felt rather arbitrary to turn physics back on right at the end. I guess more to the point, it felt like the deaths were only there because they were in the book, and the writers figured changing that was a bridge too far, even though killing off Thorin is at odds with his portrayal in the rest of the trilogy."
Actually, I felt that way about the book, not so much Thorin's death as the nephews, because their deaths also seemed tacked on at the last minute. I honestly think the book would have been better if one of them had survived, or at least if we'd been given more of them to begin with. I mean, they were his nephews, and I don't even find out about that until they DIED?
Seriously, they deserved better than that!
Proud member of the BOFA Denial Association
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Hmmmmm......
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