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Alveric
Lorien
Mar 23 2015, 5:54pm
Post #1 of 16
(1276 views)
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song of the janitor of Rivendell
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Song of the Janitor of Rivendell After dwarves leave Rivendell, the bathrooms need a magic spell. They ruined the decorative towels embroidered with owls. A basin of Gondolin’s chipped now, and the hair, the hair of the dwarves now! The drains are clotted with hair! What do they care? Do they ever take off their boots? Lo! of Vairë’s loom, one of the fruits, woven by starlight after a vow, look at it now! But they took my broken buckle and welded it with a chuckle using firewood and bare hand. That was grand. They gathered as wine was poured and bantered with Elrond (our Lord) whom I think they were trying to rile. Made me smile. So will I cover the smell of pee, haul the drunken debris of the hob-nailed dwarven mob? That’s my job.
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BlackFox
Half-elven
Mar 23 2015, 8:25pm
Post #2 of 16
(1226 views)
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This is great. Thanks for the laugh!
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Greenwood Hobbit
Valinor
Mar 23 2015, 8:40pm
Post #3 of 16
(1225 views)
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however, I find myself strangely attracted to the idea of towels with owls on them, now...
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Aunt Dora Baggins
Immortal
Mar 23 2015, 10:39pm
Post #4 of 16
(1218 views)
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Uncle Baggins was a janitor for many years, so I can feel this guy's pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GNU Terry Pratchett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories leleni at hotmail dot com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Mar 23 2015, 10:51pm
Post #5 of 16
(1222 views)
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DWARVEN RETORT Invited in we cleaned up. Our beautiful locks too we preened up. - We thinks your complaints - Are but janitor’s feints, And our boots too were nicely sheened up. If your chosen vocation is too Odoriferous for you and your crew, -The query does fall to us - As to why you so squall to us- Don’t Elves also wash, pee, and poo?
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Brethil
Half-elven
Mar 24 2015, 11:16am
Post #7 of 16
(1172 views)
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Clever verse about a rather ... unexplored subject! //
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Elarie
Grey Havens
Mar 24 2015, 12:56pm
Post #8 of 16
(1170 views)
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Don't elves also wash, pee, and poo? Yes, I confess, they do. But with magical powers It's as fragrant as flowers Inside of the Rivendell loo.
__________________ Gold is the strife of kinsmen, and fire of the flood-tide, and the path of the serpent. (Old Icelandic Fe rune poem)
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Aunt Dora Baggins
Immortal
Mar 24 2015, 1:08pm
Post #9 of 16
(1161 views)
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All three of you are so clever :-D //
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GNU Terry Pratchett ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories leleni at hotmail dot com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Alveric
Lorien
Mar 24 2015, 1:25pm
Post #10 of 16
(1168 views)
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bathroom graffiti of Rivendell
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The topic of elven poo is sadly no longer taboo. It stretches the boundary of taste to speak of such waste. The alimentary system of elves we normally keep to ourselves, but just to be honest and fair, I'll clear the air. The movements of elves are quite rare. Our noble Elron I swear since the burning of Dale has done just the one. I remember the last time he went like incense or thyme was the scent. It pervaded the whole wooded dell with a sandalwood smell. We hardly need water closets for such enchanted deposits. They sparkle and turn to mist and cease to exist. But I've never seen anything sorrier than the public rest rooms of Moria, and in Erebor (not to mention the Shire) the plumbing is dire.
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BlackFox
Half-elven
Mar 24 2015, 2:46pm
Post #11 of 16
(1157 views)
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This is getting out of hand.
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Mar 24 2015, 3:50pm
Post #12 of 16
(1148 views)
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Is nothing sacred?
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Mar 24 2015, 9:59pm
Post #15 of 16
(1113 views)
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Ooops! Can you say "Banned"?
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Alveric
Lorien
Mar 31 2015, 12:13am
Post #16 of 16
(960 views)
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If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber'd here While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream, Gentles, do not reprehend: If you pardon we will mend. Else the Puck a liar call.
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