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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Movie Discussion: The Hobbit:
Hobbit Trailer Limericks

Kelvarhin
Half-elven


Jul 3 2014, 3:57am

Post #1 of 3 (928 views)
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Hobbit Trailer Limericks Can't Post

Some of our clever disqus regulars have started posting these limericks/poems on our latest Great Hall of Poets post on the frontpage. As I wasn't sure how many of you visit our Frontpage posts, I thought I'd share them all with you here and see what you guys can come up with. Enjoy Laugh


slugbelch
There once was a guy name Peter.
Who once delayed the final trailer.
Everyone is getting upset!
So sit back and wait some more on TheOneRing.net!


Legolas Cuthalion Greenleaf
If only he'd give us a snippet
then perhaps the fandom would zip it!
If it doesn't come soon
we are going to swoon!
Or at least go and pay him a visit...


Kili's Runestone
I'm not an immortal elf
I keep staring at DOS on the shelf
100 years isn't a mere blink
high time for the trailer, I think!
I NEED IT NOW MY GOODNESS
yessss, preciousss, yesss!!!

slugbelch
High time for the trailer, we all know you're right.
...but what are we to do? Stay up all night?
I got my popcorn ready when TORN puts it up,
but they better hurry, before Germany wins the World Cup!

Legolas Cuthalion Greenleaf
(If they wait till Germany wins, then you will wait long
Cuz Holland will be singing the WC victory song!)
But back to all seriousness, JACKSON, WE PLEAD:
GIVE US THE TRAILER AND QUENCH OUR GREAT NEED!

Kili's Runestone
Has Bilbo got the Arkenstone?
I want to see the battle of blood and bone!
I cannot wait any longer for at least
a foretaste of this cinema feast!
COME ON SIR PETER
Tauriel, Leggy left her,
Thorin's gone mad
Kili, an injury's had
Where's Bolg going now
How's Gandalf going to get out, how?
YOU CANNOT LEAVE US STARING DOWN SMAUG
GIVE US THE TRAILER, WE'RE IN A FOG!!!

slugbelch
I'm done.
That was fun!
You two are just too good,
for me to continue, soon I would be misunderstood.
But hey, Kili's, you're sure named a bunch of cool scenes there,
but for now, Holland doesn't have a prayer!
Wait a minute, I thought I was going to stop?
But since I haven't, When is Weta going to make a Smaug polystone prop?

Legolas Cuthalion Greenleaf
Holland's victorious, thanks very much!
Mexico tried but they can't beat the Dutch! =)
I agree with you both, we need news of new scenes
and could certainly use some nice Smaug figurines...
This rhyming is fun but we need something more,
like a trailer! Some hint about what lies in store!

Theresa
Yes Holland's victorious, makes me quite happy,
I never thought it would end in disaster;
And now I'm in need of a scene that is happy
to make me forget that DOS isn't out!


Kili's Runestone
Bilbo's face crushed to darkness
and piercing notes rang out
SMAUG'S GOING TO KILL THEM
I'm really starting to pout
If I had just the least bit news
Peter Jackson, give us something
Basically, THE TRAILER PLEASE!!!
For now all I can hear is the deadly woosh of Smaug's wing
(Dude, we totally need to put this in the great hall of the poets!)

Legolas Cuthalion Greenleaf
Arkenstone, battle,
a dragon in flight,
Dain on a war pig,
Laketown burning bright,
Thrandy in action
or someone's last breath...
Just give us something:
THIS WAITING IS DEATH!!!
(I completely agree!! Or even better, send it to PJ himself... =D)

Kili's Runestone
By the Line of Durin
it's like the curse of Hurin!
By all the dragon fire
give us what we desire!
Dwarf beards, elf ears,
Thrandy's sassy sneers,
goblin bones, bats wings,
golden precious things,
Peter I beg thee!
You know what we want to see!
(I completely agree - if you know how to get it to PJ, tell away! This is ligit the best poem ever)

Legolas Cuthalion Greenleaf
It used to feel like PJ loved us
like Luthien loved Beren.
But now it's starting to feel like
he simply beyond caring!
All we've heard in six months straight
is that the title's changed.
If we don't get more tidbits soon
the fans will be deranged!!!
(I wish I knew how to get it to PJ, but sadly I don't have contacts in the right places...)



slugbelch
ok, ok, I got to admit,
Holland's pretty good,
but Germany aint done yet!
I have to say, if Pete (and these poems) he were to see,
I would feel like a little naked Hobbit running through Bree!
That title thing really bugged me a bit,
but like the bookworms from day one:
Will debate ever end? Will the frustration ever quit?
But when the film begins and the Smaug scene starts to erupt,
will the Arkenstone, in Bilbo's "precious" pocket, start to corrupt?
I don't know about you, but there's one thing I'll bet,
that silly little title stuff...I will quickly forget!


Legolas Cuthalion Greenleaf
Who'll win this year only time can determine
but I'm rooting for Dutch with a second place German.
Agreed, the changed title will probably seem
but a trivial thing when it hits the big screen.
In the meantime, however, might there be a chance
of a trailer? Oh come, precious, give us a glance!

slugbelch
That trailer you speak of should be heading out the station,
I hope you all enjoy it, because I will be on vacation.
For the next two long weeks I'll have no internet.
I guess I should't despair, because it probably won't be out yet.
Remember what TORN said, there's only 5 words, lines, or phrase?
If that is the case then,
Dwarves/Elves/Orcs/Men...
We're about to see is a bunch of action and Laketown ablaze!
I think it's kinda fun, waiting so long for 2 minutes or so.
You think he did this on purpose?
You think its done to make more dough?
I, for one, it is definitely not causing me any more pain,
because in November...
... every single TORN member...
will be ready to go THERE AND BACK AGAIN!

Bag ENZ Home of the Hobbit *with thanks to cameragod ;D*


One by one they faded, and fell into shadow...

One book to rule them all
One book to find them
One book to bring them all
And in TORn bind them
In the land of TORnadoes...where the brilliant play




(This post was edited by Kelvarhin on Jul 3 2014, 4:00am)


KeenObserver
Lorien


Jul 3 2014, 5:43am

Post #2 of 3 (410 views)
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Absolutely delightful [In reply to] Can't Post

I got a real kick out of reading these wonderful limericks.

I usually visit the home page and make an effort to read the articles/features (comments included) yet I've missed all of this.

Thanks for posting them here.

I appreciate their tense enthusiasm for the overdue teaser trailer (I can relate) and I especially like the World Cup references. Go Deutschland!

P.S. I am poetically challenged; but, I just might attempt to compose a limerick that is worthy of association.

”The thirst for adventure is the vent which Destiny offers; a war, a crusade, a gold mine, a new country, speak to the imagination and offer…” - Jose Bergamin

(This post was edited by KeenObserver on Jul 3 2014, 5:44am)


Lissuin
Valinor


Jul 3 2014, 9:48am

Post #3 of 3 (394 views)
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Do not despair! Get some air! [In reply to] Can't Post

We know how this sad story ends:
Big battle, king dies, makes amends.
Expect no surprises.
I'm sure Peter surmises
On no goof-ups this fandom depends.

So no sense in us pleading and moaning,
Writing letters or tweeting and phoning.
Camping outside the fence
Just makes Peter all tense.
Take a walk! You need more serotonin!

SmileHeart

 
 

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