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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Jun 14 2014, 8:10am
Post #1 of 39
(1323 views)
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Tolkien SPOONERISM GAME - ALL are Welcome !!
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“Freud accepted his lot very stoically and very well and with a sense of humor. “ -Viggo Mortensen
The rules for the “Spoonerism Game”: List a Tolkien person, place, or thing. Make a spoonerism of it; then allow your imagination to run rampant and give a short Tolkienesque type description of the spoonerism.
A spoonerism is an accidental phonetic transposition of a word or phrase. It is not necessarily the letters but the audio sounds which are switched. Thus the spelling of a spoonerism is of no consequence.
My submissions: So far... Join in !
(Gorbag) Borgag – Dwarf of the First Age. Borgag wielded the great two-handed battle-axe Neck-romancer, forged by Telchar. A berserker Borgag would sashay into battle naked, save for a short translucent kilt (called by the Edain a “Looksee”). Fey he seemed during the ‘Battle of Unnumbered Tears’ as he blitzed a sizeable horde of Orcs hewing and singing as he sped foremost. Borgag became infamous for this ferocious charge wherein three Orcs lost their heads with a single stroke of his mighty axe (setting a new record). He is noted in the Annals of the Khazâd for his pithy post-battle remark: “I love the sound of cleaving meat in the morning!”.
(Weather Hills) Heather Wills – Daughter of Willy and Willow Wills of Waymeet, Westfarthing. Heather was named for the bright crimson of the flowering dingle-berry bush because of the charm of her pink cheeks. Her beauty was second only to Angelica Baggins, but Heather did win the coveted First-place Chaplet at the 1420 Free Fair even though she was said to be “fat of the knee”. (It is marginalized in the Red Book of Westmarch (probably by an indignant Baggins) that the contest was biased as Angelica was in mid-stage of an acute case of acne eruptus.)
(Nine Walkers) Wine Knockers - A potent Dorwinion wine cooler drunk by the Elves of the Woodland Realm. (Called by the Men of Esgaroth - "Eau de Siesta")
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth."
-Albert Einstein
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Ethel Duath
Half-elven
Jun 14 2014, 7:37pm
Post #2 of 39
(993 views)
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I love spoonerisms! We used to have family contests. Here goes!
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(Fell Beasts) Bell Feasts: Any of a series of feasts that take place in late summer and early autumn in the Shire, and lately in Bree and it's surroundings, where at the ringing of a bell, everyone within hearing is to seize whatever food they have in the larder, carry it outside wrapped in a large linen cloth, and lay it out on the ground all next to their neighbor's offerings. Locals and passersby in the area are welcome to feast at their leisure until the bell is rung again. The initial bell is sounded at random by anyone whose spirit moves him or her to do so, and any loud bell will do. The feast-ending ring must be given within 30 minutes of all the food being laid out. This ensures that larders are cleared out of older victuals to make room for the harvest.
(Bill Ferny) Fill Berny: What Bree locals say on Bell Feast days when Hal Berny, the almost yearly winner of the local tater-eating contest shows up, fork and plate in hand.
(Fatty Bolger) Batty Folger: The famed local coffee grower in South Dunland, who has been known to plant coffee beans in an inverted leather helmet strapped to the top of his head.
(And yes, it is pronounced "BolJer" at least according to this: http://www.arthedain.net/fatty-bolger/ )
(This post was edited by Ethel Duath on Jun 14 2014, 7:43pm)
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dormouse
Half-elven
Jun 14 2014, 9:57pm
Post #3 of 39
(965 views)
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More o' Beer - The second of the horn calls of Buckland, sounded by the Brandybucks on an ancestral horn handed down from father to son to summon help from the brewery when the cellar was running low.
The Hay Gravens - In the autumn of the year 1421 by the Shire reckoning, mysterious crop circles began to appear all over the West Farthing, each with an arrow pointing west and the words 'This way to the Sea' in a flowing Elven script.
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Jun 14 2014, 9:58pm
Post #4 of 39
(947 views)
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Oh, yes Ethel - I'm a-laughin' here...well done!
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Yours are super! (I’ve always pronounced it “Boljer” too – and a very clever play on words – Folger’s Coffee indeed!)
Here’s a couple more of mine:
(Pillars of the Kings) Killers of the Pings[ – In TA 1403 the Witch-King of Angmar sent south a small contingent of sneaky little Scout-Pings to covertly “spy out the land” for possible incursion. But a dour faction of stealthy Dúnedain Rangers flanked them and decapitated them to the last Ping (even though the Pings thought they “be headed” south in comparative safety). This elite band of Rangers was heralded thereafter as “The Horseless Headsmen”.
(The Black Shadow) The Shack Blado – (Quenya: ‘dive-hornéd’) Mistakenly transposed in the Red Book of Westmarch as “The Shack Blado”, should be- “The Blado Shack”. The Shack was a filthy ill-kempt tavern four leagues east of the Forsaken Inn. Named for the irritating, bramble-infested, needle sharp blado-thistle that encircled the pub. The Blado Shack was frequented by thugs and ne’er-do-wells who drank a potent form of moonshine called “Giddyup”. Then they would boogie a rigorous Do-si-do and play a hazardous game called “Ring Around the Rosie”—and they would play for cash—real coin, mind you!
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth."
-Albert Einstein
(This post was edited by Bracegirdle on Jun 14 2014, 10:00pm)
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Jun 14 2014, 10:10pm
Post #5 of 39
(958 views)
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Oh this is SO clever Dormouse...
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Took me a second to figure it was "Boromir" to "More o' Beer'. An empty cellar in Buckland was surely a no-no...
And they actually had crop circles way back then. Well.. why not? 
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth."
-Albert Einstein
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SirDennisC
Half-elven
Jun 14 2014, 10:11pm
Post #6 of 39
(935 views)
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(Bilbo Baggins) Bilbo Baggins ??? *dang it!* //
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SirDennisC
Half-elven
Jun 14 2014, 10:18pm
Post #7 of 39
(950 views)
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on blocks behind Meduseld, abandoned there by Mohan when he switched to horse.
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Ruxendil_Thoorg
Tol Eressea
Jun 15 2014, 4:12am
Post #9 of 39
(933 views)
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Dofro Gabbins The bravest hobbit of the Shire, the only one with enough courage to leave his comfortable hobbit-hole sporting an impressive, groovy afro as his hairdo. Emanating proudly from his head, it appeared to increase his height by at least a foot, give or take an inch depending on the humidity. He proudly maintained it with a priceless gift of the Dwarves from the North (their secret home lay hidden somewhere uptown, above 155th Street), an afro-pick of solid mithril, said to be greater than the value of the whole Shire and everything in it. Legend reckoned that it had been made for a young Elf prince, named Gart Arfunkel, who sang in a famous duo with a human bard named Saul Pieman.
Whamsize Jamkee Dofro's gardener, turned faithful sidekick accompanying Dofro in his epic adventures. Unusually large for a Hobbit. Likes: gardening, cooking, and music by George Michael.
The Kitsch Wing - The most powerful of the Nine Rings that were gifted to mortal men, it was worn by he who became the Black Captain of the Gaznûl. Not only the most powerful but also the most sentimentally garish, it bore rainbow-glitter heart-shapes finely engraved along its outside, and a gleaming pink topaz Hello Kitty as its gemstone. Its moniker developed over time from the way its wearer, who notoriously had an unfortunate speech impediment, customarily referred to it.
Morobeer - The most famous brand of ales and lagers of Gondor, brewed within the Tower of Thecked-hellion of Tinas Mirith itself, its recipe was known only to the Stewards of Gondor, who jealously kept it secret from all, even from the King, assuming a rightful one were to ever show up. Those who imbibed it in excess tended to sleep deeply and dream of a strange voice speaking mysteriously. The words were always the same, starting with: "Fix sore the board that was soakin', in Dwimladris it ales...." (EDIT: Whoops! I may have been unintentionally inspired by dormouse's entry. Sorry dormouse!)
Things overheard during games of chess in Middle-earth:
Galadriel (any and every time she advances her pawn to the last row): "In its place you would have a QUEEN!!!!" (thunder booms)
http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;
(This post was edited by Ruxendil_Thoorg on Jun 15 2014, 4:16am)
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Jun 15 2014, 2:21pm
Post #10 of 39
(913 views)
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Spoonerisms within spoonerisms – I hadn’t thought of that. Most clever of you!
Sincerely,
Bracegirdle
Grace Berdle – Only daughter of June and Ward Cleaver of Haskell, Southfarthing. Grace married Wally Berdle of the Beaver Berdles of Bywater in SR 1260, further cementing the Berdle-Cleaver connection. Not known for any sign of superior intellect Grace’s hobby and joy was knitting many hundreds of colorful woolen stockings. But numerous Hobbits did use them for thumbless mittens during the Fell Winter of 1311. After the Fell Winter Grace spent many fruitless hours trying to keep Wally out of The Ivy Bush.
(Brandy Hall) Handy Brawl – Name given to a brief skirmish during the “Scouring of the Shire” as Peregrin and several Tooks taught 27 ruffians the meaning of grief. (Sindarin – ”The Kicking of Buttsford”)
[Horn Call of Buckland) Corn Haul of Buckland – The yield reaped during “The Great Harvest” (Forth Age 7). (Legend says that Samwise spred a few grains of “Galadriels’s Gift” in Buckland. But it is now known that none of this “treasure” was ever sown east of the Wandybrine River.)
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth."
-Albert Einstein
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noWizardme
Valinor
Jun 15 2014, 4:10pm
Post #11 of 39
(902 views)
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Pill the Bony had to separate from the Wine Kockers at the Mates of Goria. He was one hisapointed dorse. He'd been all ready to mork into wordor,and if necessary fight the Lark Dord, but instead he was mated to fake his way hack bome to Bree and wait for Gamwise Samgee there.
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"… ever let your aim be to come at truth, not to conquer your opponent. So you never shall be at a loss in losing the argument, and gaining a new discovery.”
Arthur Martine
"nowimë I am in the West, Furincurunir to the Dwarves (or at least, to their best friend) and by other names in other lands. Mostly they just say 'Oh no it's him - look busy!' "
Or "Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"
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dormouse
Half-elven
Jun 15 2014, 5:57pm
Post #12 of 39
(889 views)
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*Grins* - no prob. Mate Grinds, you know....
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...mate grinds think alike (and fools deldom siffer!)
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Escapist
Gondor
Jun 15 2014, 8:32pm
Post #14 of 39
(876 views)
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The Matcher of Worry-Ya
It is a seldom whispered but well known secret that relationships in Middle Earth are often subject to some tragic "doom" or another. Nonetheless, folk from all over continue to trust to this highest ranking match-maker for their dating, marriage, and other partner-related choices. Don't worry if it looks like something won't work out, just think about how much better the story will be.
Rudeland Whelm
Though often left unspoken, one of the key reasons driving the exile of elven kind from Middle Earth at the Grey Havens was the overwhelming sass and angst in certain elven realms and woodland havens.
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noWizardme
Valinor
Jun 15 2014, 8:56pm
Post #15 of 39
(871 views)
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Waiting for the Kitsch Wing of Angmar to turn up...
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...oh, that's probably the cause of all the costume jewellery in most barrows…
~~~~~~
"… ever let your aim be to come at truth, not to conquer your opponent. So you never shall be at a loss in losing the argument, and gaining a new discovery.”
Arthur Martine
"nowimë I am in the West, Furincurunir to the Dwarves (or at least, to their best friend) and by other names in other lands. Mostly they just say 'Oh no it's him - look busy!' "
Or "Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"
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noWizardme
Valinor
Jun 15 2014, 9:32pm
Post #16 of 39
(880 views)
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Not all those who launder are WASPS… //
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~~~~~~
"… ever let your aim be to come at truth, not to conquer your opponent. So you never shall be at a loss in losing the argument, and gaining a new discovery.”
Arthur Martine
"nowimë I am in the West, Furincurunir to the Dwarves (or at least, to their best friend) and by other names in other lands. Mostly they just say 'Oh no it's him - look busy!' "
Or "Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Jun 15 2014, 11:19pm
Post #17 of 39
(867 views)
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And you were doing soo good. But "Not all those who launder are WASPS…" is not a true spoonerism.
Should be "launder are wast" "Help me, I'm wast!" (sounds like Elmer Fudd).
(Noldorin Elf) Olderin Nelf - Father of Nelf the Youngerin. (Olderin Nelf was killed at the Battle of Dagorlad and lies, holding a candle, at the bottom of The Dead Marshes.)
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth."
-Albert Einstein
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dormouse
Half-elven
Jun 16 2014, 10:45am
Post #18 of 39
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I'm just pondering the South of Mauron, which I think is probably an Elven holiday resort where the dream-inducing magic provides escape for a while from fighting the long defeat. But those who linger there too long become so deeply ensnared they forget even their own names.
Or the Lathe of Norien, upon which the fabled Ack Blarrow of Dirion, Lord of Gale was turned from the wood of the Lammorn tree
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Jun 16 2014, 5:42pm
Post #19 of 39
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Your “pondering” exceeds most folk’s reality… Good ones shore fur.
(Battle of the Camp) Cattle of the Bamp – The Bamp (Sindarin: Back-forty) was a grassy meadow-land just northeast of Longbottom, Southfarthing, This area was overtaken by a small herd of Rhûn escapees called “Kine” (Westron: ‘Moo-cow’). These free-roaming large-horned cattle would occasionally encroach and trample upon Tobold Hornblower’s pipe-weed fields and Old Toby was forced to put up a barrier of bob-wire. This wire barricade was the only known fence of any length in the Shire with the arguably possible exception of the High Hay (Quenya: Yavanna’s Balustradë).
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth."
-Albert Einstein
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Darkstone
Immortal
Jun 17 2014, 7:52pm
Post #20 of 39
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Founder and admin of the Tolkien humor website "Lollers".
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The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.”
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Darkstone
Immortal
Jun 17 2014, 8:04pm
Post #21 of 39
(830 views)
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Harvard Lampoon's sequel to "Bored of the Rings".
******************************************
The audacious proposal stirred his heart. And the stirring became a song, and it mingled with the songs of Gil-galad and Celebrian, and with those of Feanor and Fingon. The song-weaving created a larger song, and then another, until suddenly it was as if a long forgotten memory woke and for one breathtaking moment the Music of the Ainur revealed itself in all glory. He opened his lips to sing and share this song. Then he realized that the others would not understand. Not even Mithrandir given his current state of mind. So he smiled and simply said "A diversion.”
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Jun 18 2014, 4:34pm
Post #22 of 39
(816 views)
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And Darkstone Strikes a Might Blow (hard-ly)
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(Maglor's Gap) Gaglor's Map - Gaglor Glorion's intricate chart of the western ski slopes of the Ered Luin.
"Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth."
-Albert Einstein
(This post was edited by Bracegirdle on Jun 18 2014, 4:35pm)
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Bracegirdle
Valinor
Jun 18 2014, 9:47pm
Post #24 of 39
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Very cleaver play-on-words Grammaboodawg.. Thank you
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A ‘tongue twister’ but shies away from a true spoonerism.
Here for all is a repeat of what a spoonerism is:
A spoonerism is an accidental phonetic (audio) transposition of the initial sounds of a word or phrase. It is not necessarily the letters but the verbal sounds which are switched. Thus the spelling of a spoonerism is of no consequence.
(Grey Company) Kay Grumpany – Third cousin twice removed of Fatsco Grumpany of Budgeford. (Fatsco was a Half-feather Shirriff’s Deputy during Samwise’s 3rd term as Mayor.)
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Escapist
Gondor
Jun 18 2014, 10:06pm
Post #25 of 39
(805 views)
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The Rap of Gohan
This is a song reportedly sung by elves in Valinor as their full transition to "enlightenment because the trees" from "just a regular unenlightened elf" is completed.
Kinda like this (note the hair changes):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgULhAiDngY
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