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The One Ring Forums: Off Topic: The Pollantir:
Do you PM others on TORn on a regular or semi-regular basis?
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Poll: Do you PM others on TORn on a regular or semi-regular basis?
I don't know how to send a Private Message
I am female
I am male
View Results (73 votes)

The Grey Elf
Grey Havens

Jun 14 2014, 2:37am

Post #1 of 58 (708 views)
Do you PM others on TORn on a regular or semi-regular basis? Can't Post

My theory is that mostly females avail themselves of this type of communication, often for socializing. But I could be wrong. Let's find out .... Smile


Jun 14 2014, 3:33am

Post #2 of 58 (558 views)
That would be yes on both counts [In reply to] Can't Post

I tend to use it for socializing and chatting about things I don't necessarily want to post on a public forum (which strangely enough, usually ends up being about Thorin/RA anyways haha). Laugh

Tol Eressea

Jun 14 2014, 4:26am

Post #3 of 58 (566 views)
I would love to get to know some TORnsibs more [In reply to] Can't Post

but few things have lent themselves to pm, as the forums are pretty good for discussing favorite topics Smile

I wasn't sure how to answer exactly, as I have emailed for a couple things, but not on a regular basis. Mostly questions requiring the expertise of someone on TORn whom I know is familiar with something, like DanielLB for a climate question for a fan fiction I'm writing, are the types I've sent out. But more often than not, those things, unless I know someone specifically is an expert in that area, I will post in off topic.

I think I'm sometimes slightly intimidated by the thought that I'm still relatively new in the Tolkien world, having only known who he was for just under 7 years now (though I've read his books several times since then, and done my "Tolkien homework" lol Wink).

And while I know I'm smart (they didn't pick on me back in school because I was stupid Crazy) I see how educated and experienced in lore and just in life some of the tornsibs are, and how close some of them are to other tornsibs (even to some people having attended weddings of others on here) and having always been the new kid on the block moving so much, I kinda feel hesitant to intrude on already established friendships.

I want to get to know some of the people on here, but part of me feels like there's already a close knit group of friends, and that I'm a newbie. I've had plenty of experience while I was growing up of becoming friends with people in my new schools, only to be, for lack of a better word, dumped by the group because they'd grown up with each other and I was new and they didn't want to be friends anymore Frown

Logically I know that people on here don't seem to be that close minded, but emotionally I guess I'm just hesitant to initiate friendships now. Once (or in this case several) times bitten, twice shy, as the saying goes...Unsure


Jun 14 2014, 4:32am

Post #4 of 58 (541 views)
Just occasionally. // [In reply to] Can't Post



Jun 14 2014, 5:19am

Post #5 of 58 (567 views)
I'll tell you something [In reply to] Can't Post

I have met about seven people from this site. One of them came and stayed at my house when she was travelling around New Zealand with her husband. I told someone at work that people I had never met who I only knew 'virtually' were coming to stay with me and this person thought I was mad and taking a bit of a risk. I wasn't at all worried, because I really did feel that I knew my houseguest. And so it proved - she was exactly as she is on here. It has been the same with every person I have met from this site: they are exactly as they appear on here, and they are all delightful people.

And yes, there are people on TORn who are very close, and have been present during significant events in each other's lives, but they will always let you in if you are new. So don't be shy!

And if you ever come to New Zealand, there's a bed for you here. Smile

PS: I am petrified of the Reading Room. Sometimes I peek in the door, and then I run quickly back to Off-Topic. Laugh


Jun 14 2014, 5:22am

Post #6 of 58 (547 views)
How do you know which of the females voted 'yes' or 'no'... [In reply to] Can't Post

and which of the males voted each?

And at the moment you have 7 people who voted yes or no but only 6 people declared a gender.

So that throws another variable into the results.

Tol Eressea

Jun 14 2014, 6:10am

Post #7 of 58 (549 views)
Aw thanks :) [In reply to] Can't Post


My mom is like that coworker of yours- only worse. She doesn't trust ANYONE, and always has to double check to make sure stove is off, front door is locked, etc...and heaven help me if I mention that I've accidentally left my garage door open on occasion and still enter the house without calling the police (though I do glance around), or that I had to leave a table full of our food at a restaurant once because my 5 year old suddenly needed to pee, because she was convinced that I should have thrown the just arrived food away because someone could have poisoned it during the three minutes we were in the bathroom Crazy

I am petrified of the reading room too! Partly because some of the posts are so long and in depth....I am a very fast reader, and if it takes me ten minutes to read a post, my head is swimming afterward and I cannot fathom reading all the equally lengthy replies and trying to make sense of it all on a sleep deprived mommy brain Tongue I've read all the books, but I am selective about the posts, especially in depth ones, I either write or reply to because I don't always have the time to dedicate to making it well written, and though I have tried my darndest to learn as much about ME as I can, there always seems to be someone out there who knows an obscure fact that I hadn't even had a clue on! Shocked

It's like when RA responded with the Nauglafring remark about obscure Tolkien trivia- I was SURE he meant NauglaMIR and got the word wrong, but after it was mentioned that was an early idea for the name of said necklace I was completely stunned and flabbergasted that HE knew that, and he hadn't delved as deeply in ME as I had before the role (AFAIK)! Though Thorin isn't my favorite character (Fili and Kili are) that earned a HUGE dollop of respect from me for that actor and his dedication to the role (he played Thorin fantastically too- I just don't go for the grumpy types Wink)

As to visiting NZ- believe me for sure that it's on my bucket list! Someday I want to be able to "walk Middle-earth" and for a brief moment feel like I was actually there in the world itself Laugh Plus, who wouldn't want to see the Shire? (I'm only 1.5 meters tall, or same height as Kili according to WETA and shorter than both Thorin and Dwalin) but I would like to see what it would feel like to be taller than a door for a change!Tongue

And I would certainly be willing to take you up on your kind offer- though be forewarned I have two small kiddos too (age 5 and 2 atm, so might need to be a big bed, especially with the way those little eight legged octopi with shoes on tornadoes sleep lol Tongue I couldn't tell you how many bruises I've awakened with after they've crawled into our bed some nights!) but since it costs a LOT of money (over a months' take home pay for us) for one person's plane ticket from the United States to NZ, let alone a family of 4, it probably won't be for a few years Unsure

Where is a genie in a bottle when you need one???? Evil

On a side note, our home is open to you as well, should you ever have the overwhelming urge to visit Idaho, US Wink It's really, really pretty here, not expensive at all (pretty rural- my town only has 27,000 people and farms around it in the valley, with pine tree mountains surrounding it and beautiful lakes and rivers and forests-look up pictures of lake Coeur d' Alene, ID as it's nearby, or north Idaho mountains, and you will see what I mean), and there's no earthquakes either, which I think you, being in Christchurch, would appreciate Wink

(This post was edited by Cirashala on Jun 14 2014, 6:11am)


Jun 14 2014, 7:11am

Post #8 of 58 (550 views)
Yes, but for all sorts of things! [In reply to] Can't Post

Organising TAS, Hobbit Headlines and CHOW; general socialising; taking part in conspiracies; but most importantly, complaining. It's always good to have a moan to someone.

It also depends who I want to talk to. If I've got their email address, then more often than not I'll email them.

(This post was edited by DanielLB on Jun 14 2014, 7:12am)


Jun 14 2014, 7:19am

Post #9 of 58 (532 views)
Feeing so left out [In reply to] Can't Post

I have never received a proper moaning PM from you.
So gutted. Frown


Jun 14 2014, 7:21am

Post #10 of 58 (527 views)
Likewise.// [In reply to] Can't Post



Jun 14 2014, 7:24am

Post #11 of 58 (528 views)
That's because ... [In reply to] Can't Post

I'm normally moaning about you.


Kidding, of course ...


Jun 14 2014, 7:27am

Post #12 of 58 (529 views)
Excellent [In reply to] Can't Post

The only thing worse that being talked about...is not being talked about. Cool


Jun 14 2014, 8:20am

Post #13 of 58 (523 views)
No. [In reply to] Can't Post

I have only sent and received 7-8 pm's in almost 8 monthsLaugh

The Grey Elf
Grey Havens

Jun 14 2014, 10:56am

Post #14 of 58 (524 views)
I officially declare this poll defunct and the results valueless [In reply to] Can't Post

As you so rightly pointed out, Magpie, the options ain't gonna yield the info I was after. I really shouldn't attempt to create a poll when I'm in bed with the Sandman. Blush

On the other hand, we've got a nice conversation going so feel free to join in, everyone! Cool

The Grey Elf
Grey Havens

Jun 14 2014, 11:02am

Post #15 of 58 (521 views)
Starling, I like [In reply to] Can't Post

a parfait of fresh fruit, granola and Greek yogurt for breakfast. Mr. Elf gets by on a cup 'o joe.

Just letting you know ahead of time. Wink

(This post was edited by The Grey Elf on Jun 14 2014, 11:09am)


Jun 14 2014, 4:50pm

Post #16 of 58 (497 views)
not useless [In reply to] Can't Post

the data about PMs / no PMs is relevant (as these polls go).

cheers --



Jun 14 2014, 4:55pm

Post #17 of 58 (491 views)
Ah yes, the conspiracies [In reply to] Can't Post

those are always fun Evil


Jun 14 2014, 6:08pm

Post #18 of 58 (486 views)
I use the PM function rarely [In reply to] Can't Post

should I have voted "no"? I didn't answer.


Jun 14 2014, 6:35pm

Post #19 of 58 (483 views)
lol [In reply to] Can't Post

I've often wondered how to word polls that would get the info I desire and usually the questions get so convoluted I just give up.


I am female and I PM regularly?
I am female and I don't PM regularly?
I am male... etc.

Then let people vote once? (that may not be worded how you did it. I can't see the original phrasing while in this window)

We do well at conversations no matter what the topic, don't we? :-)


Jun 14 2014, 6:56pm

Post #20 of 58 (495 views)
"I am male and I PM regularly" [In reply to] Can't Post

may be saying something altogether different than intended. Angelic


Jun 14 2014, 7:06pm

Post #21 of 58 (484 views)
Yeah I wouldn't say regularly. As I haven't been around here that long [In reply to] Can't Post

But looking through my pm box more than half of them are from men. So I don't think gender is relevant to this, at least not in my case.


Jun 14 2014, 7:25pm

Post #22 of 58 (489 views)
TORnsibs are the best! [In reply to] Can't Post

There are at least 3 married couples who met on TORn, and the ones I know are very happy, some years & kids later. Those of us from the "golden years" around 2002-5 enjoyed may meeting opportunities at the Oscar parties, ORC conventions, LotR concerts, etc., so I've probably met ~40 at one time or another, any of whom I would be proud to host in my home!

Please don't be shy about the Reading Room! Conversations range from detailed analysis (currently of Children of Hurin) to fun speculations regarding possible alternative members of the Fellowship: Glorfindel (maybe too shiny)? Arwen (who would at least ask for directions)? Bill the Pony (who apparently dispatched both the Watcher and the wargs on his way home)? Come back!

(This post was edited by Elizabeth on Jun 14 2014, 7:26pm)


Jun 14 2014, 7:34pm

Post #23 of 58 (483 views)
Some of us are comfortable with each other, for sure [In reply to] Can't Post

I used to do folk dancing and it was kind of the same thing. Some had danced with that group for 20 years... or 30 years.

Everyone loved newcomers but so many people came and went, it wasn't until we got a sense that someone was staying that we kicked in the 'get to know you' thing. We weren't being exclusive. It was just there had been thousands of faces over those decades and it took some endurance to make someone rise from the sea of them.

I figured you've done that by now.

Just jump in. I don't ever sense clique-ishness except in the case of shorthand speech like 'femine'. If you don't know, ask.

And you might be surprised to find that many of the people you consider old timers I'd consider part of the fresh blood, lol. When you've been here 11 months, anyone who's been here 12 months or more looks like a regular.

We are a lot of things but we aren't 'high school'. In any way except for some adolescent humor now and then. :-)

(and just fyi: some of us are introverts and shy, too. When I was in NYC for a LOTR event with lots of people, every TORn-fellow I met with initiated the meet because I was too introverted to do it myself)


Jun 14 2014, 7:36pm

Post #24 of 58 (471 views)
what? you don't get moody? // [In reply to] Can't Post



Jun 14 2014, 7:38pm

Post #25 of 58 (475 views)
Reading Room is friendly. [In reply to] Can't Post

I mostly lurk there, scanning most of the really long posts and slowing to read the ones that grab my interest. Occasionally I'll ask a question or make a comment, but mostly I just stay out of the way of the people who know so much more than I do. And I've learned a lot; like how much I don't know about Tolkien.
Anyway, my point is, don't be scared of the RR. Nobody has bitten me in there.

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